43 Years Old, with a Disgusting Midrif - United Kingdom, GB

I hate my stomach and it has made me miserable for years, its been like this since I had my first baby when I was 19. I've always wanted a tummy tuck but always been too scared to have it done and never been able to afford it until now.
Me and my stomach are not friends, it has stole my sexiness and confidence from me for the last 24 years and also determined which clothes I have to wear to hide the wretched thing, and I know how horrendous I look naked, I can never let my fiancé see me naked. When we go on holiday I look at how lovely the ladies with the flat smooth bellies look in their bikinis and it makes me feel like I have a deformity, people have even stared at me in the past when they see me. When we went to the Dominican in May for our holiday a young child was pointing and said "yuk, mummy what's that" I was mortified. So, the stomach has got to go, and I'm petrified but I keep thinking about what it will be like after and the freedom it will give me to be able to wear nice clothes, bikinis and run around the house naked..wooohooo!
I'm having a lock and glue tummy tuck, my surgeon uses a more aggressive form of lipo' with the abdominoplasty and uses a special glue to put me back together so there isn't any use for drains; she also puts a small tube though the skin into the muscle which drips a pain killing medication right to the muscles that she will tighten which is meant to make things more comfortable. The lock and glue tummy tuck is meant to give a more athletic look.
I have thought about this long and hard and had lots of emotions, and the usual worries, fears, excitement then the should I or shouldn't I, but when I think about how horrible my stomach has made me feel and ruined my life to some extent the the surgery out weighs all of my anxieties. I'm mostly worried about coming round from the General Anaesthetic and instantly feeling in pain and not being able to breath from the tightness of the muscle repair and the skin being pulled tight; so I keep telling myself I will be in the best hands possible with the surgical team and pain is only momentarily compared to a lifetime of feeling sick at myself because of my horrendous deformed stomach.

It's three days until my full abdoplasty and lipo and I'm so anxious and scared is a understatement. I haven't slept for the last two nights and I am sure it's entirely normal but I'm just terrified. My mind is racing it won't stop thinking all kinds of stupid things as well as what I need to be doing to get everything ship shape at home and organised before I go in to hospital in Friday. My stomach is in knots, I'm such a coward but I've wanted this for years but never been brave enough. I hope my courage comes back for Friday.

Fiancé and I arrived at the hospital today at 10, I was shown to my room and a nurse has been in and done the necessary bp and the magic cream on the back of my hand. The anaesthetist has been in too, I literally begged him for everything to keep me pain free when I wake up. So now I'm just waiting to be taken to theate, I'm soooo frightened.