Improving and very happy to be natural! - United Kingdom

My implant story began 16 years ago when I was 24...

My implant story began 16 years ago when I was 24 years old. I had always been small chested and longed for "normal sized" breasts. I never wanted to be big...just a B cup would have been perfect. Anyway, I saved all my wages and had my first operation. I ended up a C cup and was so happy. For the first time I was able to wear tight tops without stuffing my bra! I was really happy for many years until I heard on the news that my implants were toxic and had to be removed. They were soya bean oil (Trilucent). I was terrified at the time as I was pregnant with my first child. My GP refered me to a surgeon in 2005 and I had them replaced with silicone gel implants after my son was born. I was bigger after this operation and felt that they were too heavy for my frame. This feeling intensified as I had 2 more children. I've covered up my body for years now and have never worn the tight tops I would have worn if my breasts were smaller...how ironic....

Now to 2012...my 40th year...have had no problems with my implants...just a realisation that I'm ready to accept the "real" me. Surgery set for the 17th October...I'm really excited but really nervous about how I will look...I know I won't look anything like I did when I was 24, but I hope I still look normal for a 40 year old with 3 kids.

I'd really like to thank all the ladies who have posted on this site...you have all given me so much strength to do this. You all look so lovely. I wanted to post on this site so if, in the future, my daughters ever want implants, I can share my journey with them. x

Less than 24 hours now and Im so scared!!!!!!!!!!...

Less than 24 hours now and Im so scared!!!!!!!!!! I really have no idea what to expect....totally flat??? concave???? droopy?????very droopy????? Not gonna change my mind though...it's something I really need to do. I always thought I'd just keep getting new boobs when the old ones got past their sell by date! I had visions of being really old and them still being there!!! Now that thought really scared me!!! So, whatever happens tomorrow I'll deal with it....Just been shopping and got box of chocolates, bottle of wine (can I have a small one after surgery!?!), new pyjamas, bra inserts (for when I'm healed enough!!) and some extra strong gaffer tape to hold me up just in case!!! xx

Just had my last long soak with the girls....it's...

Just had my last long soak with the girls....it's funny but they reminded me of floats as they bobbed on top of the bath water!!!! Did a scientific study of how much breast tissue I have left (ie. a squeezed and prodded round my boobs!!) and don't think I have any left!!!! Not that I had anything years ago...just hoped i might have now!! (My implants are "overs"so I presume all my breast tissue is on top of the implants but I can hardly feel any!!) Also, I'm sitting around in my dressing gown now and really noticing how uncomfortable I am without a bra. Just a real heavy, swinging feeling!!!
It's weird isn't it...I've just been thinking of how terrified I am aboout tomorrow and the feelings I had from 16 years ago came flooding back to me. The exact same feelings! I remember being 24 years old and very alone in my decision to have implants. I walked to the hospital myself (I needed fresh air!!) and I told no-one about my surgery. I even took my childhood teddy into the hospital with me for comfort!!! Fast forward 16 years....still no-one knows except my amazing husband....and you guys. Although I'm scared about tomorrow...I feel so much stronger than in 1996. To be honest if I'd found this site years ago I would have had them removed then...or possibly never had them implanted in the first place!! There's so many amazing women that have posted on here...I really don't feel alone this time...thank you all so much xx

Less than 5 hours and counting!!!!! Didn't sleep a...

Less than 5 hours and counting!!!!! Didn't sleep a wink last night!!!! And no coffee for breakfast...(School run without coffee?????)only water..............See you ladies on the other side!! xxx

Hi everyone, had op yesterday and all went well...

Hi everyone, had op yesterday and all went well until I looked at my breasts. I'm so depressed. I'm afraid I haven't the courage to post any pictures yet. I really don't want to scare anyone. I'm trying to find pictures of other ladies after explant who look as bad as I look but I can't. Basically, I have lost ALOT of tissue and they have formed an L shape. (like right angles!) My nipples look like they've been rolled upwards and look at the ceiling. A doctor (not my surgeon) who came to check on me actually said, "what did you go and do that for?" I feel so deformed and cried all last night. They're so bad I'm thinking I might need to have new implants fitted. That's the last thing I want to do but I look horrendous. I'm so sorry my story can't be a happy one. Please don't let it scare anyone contemplating an explant because most of the women on here look and feel amazing afterwards. Thank you for all your hugs and lovely messages. It's great to have people who understand. xx

First of all, a huge hug for everyone who has been...

First of all, a huge hug for everyone who has been leaving such lovely comments. I have been unable to reply firstly, because I was so upset I couldn't even come on here, and then, my account has been playing up and not allowing me to post. So I'm sorry about that...your comments have made me laugh and some have brought tears to my eyes. I wish we could all go out for a night out together...can you imagine!!?? I just wanted to say that I'm feeling more positive now and I'm seeing a change (for the better!) in my breasts every day. My breasts are smaller than last week (I'm only day 6 still) but they appear to be sorting themselves out alittle in terms of shape. I still have dents and folds and nipple problems but nothing a padded bra can't hide. So if you are having an explant soon please don't worry (like I did!!) as they do change every day...the girls on here tell me that all the time...and they're right!!! We all heal in our own time.... My husband has been so supportive and likes my new non-existant size! (I gave him a quick flash in dimmed lighting and when he wasn't wearing his contact lenses!!) I have been wearing a bit of padding but who cares....I look much better in clothes and can't believe how big the implants must have looked on my frame...So thanks again everyone...you are so wonderful and your helping me to be much more positive xxxx

Hi again, Inspired by the bravery of other women...

Hi again, Inspired by the bravery of other women on this site I have decided to take the plunge and post my explant photos. I couldn't bring myself to post them at first because they looked so bad. However, over the last 10 days they have got better so I want other women to see that they do start to improve given time.
I was so upset at first but now they look more "normal" (whatever that is!). They're very small, very flat and when I bend down they are definately not a pretty sight...but they are real and all mine...and I'm going to make sure I look after them from now on...xx

P.S The photos are more accurate when you click on...

P.S The photos are more accurate when you click on them (it's taken me a while to realise this!!?? xx

Just wondered if anyone can help with this one.....

Just wondered if anyone can help with this one...One of my nipples faces down and is 'tucked over the top' the bottom of the areola. Hope that makes sense?? When I looked today (basically I have to lift my nipple up to clean underneath...I'm sorry that sounds awful) the skin colour of the areola (which is now hidden under the nipple)has changed from the normal brown to grey!! Does anyone know why?? It's quite worrying...I keep thinking the skin is dying and my nipple and areola is going to drop off!!!! x

Sorry typo.....nipple and areola ARE going to drop...

Sorry typo.....nipple and areola ARE going to drop off!!!

Hi all, thanks for your suggestions...I did call...

Hi all, thanks for your suggestions...I did call my doc and he said not to worry! (easy for him to say!!) He basically said to keep an eye on it and to call back on Monday if it doesn't improve. I wondered if my sports bra was to tight and pushing the nipple into the areola so I've tried "propping it up" with some gauze! He sort of shrugged this idea off but I feel like I want to try something!!! At what stage can you stop wearing these tight sports bras anyway....mine is VERY tight and I have indents on my shoulders and back!! I'm 15 days post explant now. Thank you, ladies xx

It's been just over 5 weeks since explant and...

It's been just over 5 weeks since explant and things are looking better! Nipples aren't perfect but learning to appreciate the size, shape and softness of own boobies! I absolutely love being small chested! It's so funny ...I never thought I would say that. Been buying bras this weekend and thought I'd go for padded but I'm didn't. I've been buying bras with moulded cups instead as I'm having to buy 32C bras (even though I don't fill them!!) due to my "stretched out" cup size! Still, I'm just so relieved I've found bras to (kinda) fit! I love feeling natural and lying on my tummy! Not a night goes by where I don't wake up and appreciate the feeling of lying on my stomach and not worrying about the implants bursting!!!
Saw my PS on Friday who said everything was fine and took some photos to show future explant ladies. He said this operation is becoming more and more popular. He also said I could wear underwire at 6 weeks. I bought one yesterday to wear on special occasions but again, it's not padded...just moulded to give a nice shape! I think our bodies are amazing to bounce back after the way we have stretched them with implants. It's very weird but I sometimes think I'm glad I had implants (crazy I know) because it has made me appreciate my natural boobs so much more than I would have if I had never had surgery. I used to long for bigger boobs and now I realise they just got in my way and forced me to wear bigger and baggier clothes! Small boobs are amazing! Anyway, thank you to all the ladies on here, hope everyone's ok and healing well. Big soft hugs to all of you! xx
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