I went from being a skinny kid, maybe 60 pounds in...
Had my consultation
PS was nice enough, albeit seemed busy and a bit nonchalant. Or perhaps that was just my perception given that I was through the roof with nerves! He went over all the pros and cons, said I'd do great, and that I' be thrilled with the results, and then dropped a bomb - mentioned casually that he is conservative when removing breast tissue to ensure breast shape isn't compromised. I have aired my concerns to the patient coordinator - just waiting to hear back from her. My husband says I'm overreacting to his casual comment, that I don't want to be small anyway, after my whole life of being used to being so big, being small might be a huge shock and I may not like it. I don't know really. I don't want to be small but I definitely don't want the problems I have now - NO THANK YOU. I'll keep you posted....
And of course, the nerves...I am not a fan of surgery. Had three in one year a few years back, and feel guilty having elective surgery. But this isn't really elective, is it?
Lastly, here is a pic of me in my beautiful soft white cotton tshirt, that, after picture was taken, was promptly covered up by a giant scarf. I know you all understand...
Getting mixed opinions...
And then this morning, I put my mammoth sports bra on to go for a run, a measly 5km because any more and my bra rubs my skin raw, and I think, Lord, this is so uncomfortable, so wrong to feel this way, maybe i need to do this, or even just really want to. I just don't know what to do....
My two concerns have not quite been eliminated, but I'm dealing with them...
First, the concern about being left too big. I will be able to discuss this further with my PS at my pre-op on November 19th, but for the most part, through discussions with the patient coordinator and my husband, I feel as is this is the right PS for me. I think there is a fine line between being left too big and being left too small and I'm going to trust my gut, and trust my PS to do what's best.
Secondly, regarding feeling guilty for choosing to do an elective surgery, after reading your amazing posts, I see that many of you also feel the same way. Many of you have also been in the uncomfortable position of having to justify why you'd take the risks of surgery, infection, etc. I know that what I'm feeling is normal and I am ready for the roller coaster ride of emotions that will be my life for the next month and probably more. I just hope it's acceptable for me to vent away here on this forum. It feels so good to put my feelings onto paper (well, screen) and I even find it therapeutic to come back and read my OWN posts as well as other's.
So that's all for now. Hope everyone is feeling / healing well.
How to tell my boss?
I'm feeling quite overwhelmed again today. Not selfish as much as scared and anxious. Good Lord, this anxiety is only going to get worse over the next three weeks and I'm already nearing what I can handle anxiety wise!!!
Time to go hug my children!!!
Another day, more ups and downs...
In other news, I told my boss and my direct reports. I thought about what to say, with pros and cons for keeping it private and telling the whole truth, and ended up telling them the truth. My direct reports were awesome...Don't worry, we will handle everything...this is amazing...good for you....they really are great people. My boss, on the other hand, was surprisingly unsupportive. He actually said something along the lines of "cosmetic surgery is not permitted as paid time off". I was livid. I ripped into him good via email, so that I could organize my thoughts, and really let him have it. I've worked here for 15 years, previous to this place, he and I worked together at a big corporation and when he left to start this company, he begged me to come along and help him out. We've been more friends than boss / direct report all this time, and then he says something like this? He does have the habit of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, but you know what? This time, he isn't getting away with it. I sent the email just before I left yesterday, telling him this is NOT cosmetic surgery, explaining that I've suffered and need this, that it is covered by OHIP because its required for my health, telling him that after everything I've done for him and this company for all these years, I would expect some decency, some compassion, and that he should think before he speaks. Oh, I'm sure he's regretting his silly comment. I was pre-law before I decided on my current profession, and when I'm right and someone else is wrong, you don't want to be in the way of my outburst! Anyway, lastly, I told him if he wants me to take it as vacation, to let me know, but it will be the last thing he does before he regrets ever getting on my bad side.
I'm good now. I'm calm and over it. My poor husband had to deal with my anger last night though. Thank God I have an amazing man with me every step of the way. This morning I kissed my children goodbye (I leave way before they get up) and started tearing up. I feel a little guilty about doing this. Again, the risks of surgery creeping into my mind. But I keep reminding myself, like someone else said, that I'm going to take a leap of faith and do something that I need, that I want, for once.
Thanks for listening. I seriously don't know what I'd do without all you to vent to! Xoxoxo
To update you on the asshole boss situation (wait, can I say asshole here?), he's come around. He suggested I take the first two weeks (if I even need the second week) as sick time off paid, and then any other time as vacation time. I'm fine with that. I'm sure I won't need more than two weeks (knock on wood!) and if I do, I'm lucky that I have vacation coming to me to use up this year. I'm still upset that he treated me disrespectfully initially, but I suppose he went home and had his nads chewed off by his wife, who is also quite well endowed and must sympathize with me.
The last couple days have been okay mood wise. I'm telling more people (now my immediate coworkers know, my husbands and kids, my parents and all my siblings, as well as my closest friends), and I think I'll leave it at that.
I'm worried about getting fat (er) not being able to work out for 6 weeks. I barely manage to maintain this gorgeous size 12 physique, gut, butt and all, working out 6 hours a week! What's going to happen when I can't??? And my borderline high blood pressure isn't going to be happy with me being sedentary either. Oh, the joys of getting older. Oh, to be 20 again. Okay, now I'm just rambling.
Oh, one last thing. My husband's Christmas party is Dec 7th, 5 days after my surgery. Its a beautiful swanky thing every year. Any chance (any chance at all?) I'll be able to put on a spaghetti strap dress and have some fun that night? Probably not right? Oh well, more important things like healing...much more important than a night out on the town on the company dime. :)
Thank you again for letting me vent. This forum is so very cathartic! I would be lost without all your posts, responses, pictures, kindness, etc!
The joys of dress shopping....NOT!
Anyway, here are a few pics of my shoulder indentations. The top I'm wearing with the thin straps is a nighty - not a bra! I wish could wear thin strap bras! Well, soon I'll be able to! Two weeks Monday - oh my!
So much to do! Just what I needed,..more stress...
And then I started looking at my calendar for the next two weeks: pre-op meeting at surgeons office, and pre-op physical with my family doctor, and blood work and ECG...and let's not mention all the running around that's needed so that I have everything I need for before and after surgery, and food preparation, and house preparation, and Christmas preparation.
And surgery...SURGERY! I'm having surgery in two weeks!!!! I'm freaking out over here!
And, the icing on the cake, my boss was standing behind my screen today, as we reviewed some figures, and on my desktop is what? Many pictures of boobies! I usually upload them to my computer and then add them to my review from my computer. Oh dear. Take a look at all these boobies. Christmas came early this year for him!
That's my rant for today. Anyone else fear they'd still be too big, or the flip side, not like their too small boobs?
Two weeks today, I'll be done and probably, God willing, home from the hospital. Just need to make it through these next two weeks without losing my mind!!!!
Pre-op meeting with surgeon - check!
I was asked to stop all multi vitamins, especially garlic and vit E, do not take advil or asprin and stop drinking green tea as I’m within two weeks of surgery.
I was informed that my surgery was bumped from 8am to 930am because a patient with diabetes has to have priority for early morning surgeries – no worries, I understand that.
I was asked to bring an old bra (one that fits me now or maybe a little smaller) to surgery, one that does up at the front with no underwire. No specific brand was provided. HELP here please
I was told that I could either buy medicated gauze or just use pantyliners inside my bra post surgery.
I was told I may not have drains, it all depends on how much fluid collection there is.
I will have a lollipop incision, with liposuction. The surgeon will remove as much as he can, ensuring nipple is safe and breast shape is not compromised. I emphasized that I would be very upset if I went through a surgery and wasn’t significantly smaller and he told me again, that there is a fine line between too much and too little, and he ensured me I would be happy. I trust him. I like him. Felt a little more warm and fuzzy today.
The amount removed will be measured, and will be sent for pathology (apparently both standard procedures).
I was given a prescription for Tylenol 3, being told this is the most I will need.
I was sold a scar cream (might be upselling but I have heard of this stuff before): SkinMedica Scar Recovery Gel $28. I was told to apply it started 24 hours post op. He also mentioned some scar “tape” but said we could talk about that at one of my follow up appts.
I was given two post op appts, one 4 days after surgery, and then another 3 weeks after surgery.
I was told I can drive and return to work after one week.
All in all, I feel good. The staff is excellent (very friendly, kind, informative, available) and I like the surgeon. I am confident in my decision to go ahead. Woot woot! :)
Despite being devastated, I know that it's for the best. I pray everything is okay with my heart and that I can rebook the surgery in the near future.
Thank you all for the support and good luck with your surgeries / recoveries.
I know, I'm rambling. I just had to share. I'll keep you posted. Thank you for being (virtually) there for me.
So, all systems go, just have to see internist at hospital tomorrow but I'm thinking that's just a formality. My family doctor ordered that when we still weren't 100% sure what was going on with my ECGs. I can't emphasize how relieved I am, and I'm so very thankful to all of you for your support and kind words. This is an amazing community. The sisterhood of giant boobies! :)
And now, time to be nervous again! Gah! Surgery in four days - oh my!
May I ask my fellow Torontonians (or Canadians) what brought you took with you to the hospital to wear post surgery? I don't have one that has is wire free and closes at front!! Thank you so much! (I haven't been able to find the one previously mention - Carole Martin? No luck with that).
Have I mentioned how relieved I am??? :)
All systems go!
I'm adding a few more before pics....
12 hours to go!
I've made it to the small side!
One day post op...
I hugged and kissed my children, cried, left them little notes, cried some more, and then we were on our way by 615am.
We arrived at the hospital at 715 for my 930 surgery. Over the next hour and a half i registered, changed, went though vitals with nurse, went over procedure with another nurse (what expect before and after), met with the anesthesiologist, and then went to the marking room to wait for surgeon. He arrived at 10am and marked me up. Said that my nipples were facing outward and probably would still be after. I said no worries. He left, a few minutes later the OR nurse came to get me, I kissed my hubby, almost cried, and off I went.
They put some warm massaging wraps n my legs (never had those before) covered me with a war, blanket, and the anesthesiologist started my IV. She was talking with me about cruising and the next thing I knew it was noon and I was wide awake - thank you snoring patient beside me. I asked to move to the other recovery room, where my husband can come see me.
I had an apple juice, peed, felt quite fine, and we left hospital by 230. Whoever suggested that pillow idea for the drive home - God bless you!!!
Once home I rested a bit, then my parents and kids came over. I had some soup and then my mom helped me empty my drains. Oh ya. I've got drains. Gross. Apparently I had a lot of fluid and this will help me heal. Blech.
The evening consisted of visits: my sister, my best friend, m sister in law. No big deal because I really wasn't tired. I went to bed at 10pm. I was told to sleep on my back but nothing about sleeping upright. I have to wear a bra 24/7 for four to six weeks. Another blech.
I took my first pain medication, one Tylenol 3 just before bed. I'm really not in that much pain. Just uncomfortable. I feel so swollen. As you can see I'm completely filling out the bra I bought that I was hoping would be loose.
1. When will this swelling go down? When will I have a better idea of my true new size?
2. Should I be milking these drains? I don't have much collection and I'm wondering if its plugged.
Thank you all for the well wishes! You are too kind!!!!
Be forewarned....it's time for my post op rant...
First of all, these drains. They are gross and uncomfortable and where they enter my body is where my bra hits below my breasts and it hurts!!! I'm now draining only about 10ml n 24 hours. Thank God they come out tomorrow. Or they better!!
Second, my boobs. They still feel huge. What the heck???? I've read people say they immediately felt relief. I've seen pictures where people look so much smaller after surgery. I feel the same as before surgery. This cannot all be swelling!!! I also feel like Frankenstein's monster! Drains and staples and ugly! I'll spare you the photo.
Next..the constipation. I have only taken five Tylenol 3 since surgery. Maybe stupidity, maybe stubbornness, and yet I haven't pooped since Sunday!!! This is insanity!!!
I see my surgeon tomorrow. He will remove drains and staples. God give me strength to get through the next 24 hours!!!
Sorry for being so negative.
Wish me luck!
I'm going to take a full dose of Tylenol 3 so that the pain of everything (physical and emotional) is easier to handle. Please, small prayers for a successful appointment.
Can't sleep...might as well update!
Surgeon reiterated that I have more muscular breast tissue in my breasts than anyone else he's ever seen. Next to no fat at all (and I'm thinking, why can't I have that problem everywhere else on my body???). He said that made for a difficult surgery and him not being able to get me as small as I would have liked. I asked how much he took and he couldn't remember off the top,of his head but guessed it to be about 400g per side. Ha! There is no way he took almost a pound off each side! I'm still really big! The exact number is at his office and his patient coordinator will send it to me.
I asked about my butchered nipples and he said they are in shock...to be patient. They have never been super perky, but now look completely inverted.
I see him again in two weeks. In the meantime, I'm to wear a tight sports bra 24/7, continue to take it easy, and avoid activity.
My husband insisted we go out for dinner afterwards and then I was so wiped out that I fell asleep at 8pm! Hence, I'm awake at 4am!
1. When can i start going for walks? I'm so bored and also really need to exercise.
2. Is there anything I can do for this swelling to go down? Surgeon said patience but I'm hoping maybe someone has some ideas?
3. Anyone else have very angry inverted nipples after surgery?
Well, I should try to get more Zzzz. Talk again soon. Xoxoxo
One week post op
Physically, I feel fine. I have some pain but haven't taken Tylenol 3 in three days. My nipples are very sensitive and I feel sharp pains that last a couple seconds throughout the day. Zingers? i dont know. I still feel sore and swollen.
I have decided to take this week off too, for a total of two weeks away from my desk job. I could g to work today, but more than physically, it's my mood that's got me down.
And now...how I look.
Well, I still feel almost as big. If I was a DDD before, maybe I'm a DD now. That does not make me happy. Also, my nipples look butchered. Yes they were flat ish before but now they look horrific! I'm disgusted with my one week post op pictured but am sharing it to hopefully help someone else down the road.
Wearing a bra 24/7 is very frustrating as is sleeping on my back. I'm also starting to think about the pathology report - does anyone else worry about that?
My house is falling apart and my Christmas to do list is growing.
Seriously, is it possible that I'm in the 3% that isn't happy with this surgery? I don't want to be a negative Nellie, but so far, I'm just very unimpressed. I want my breasts to be smaller, C was my goal, my nipples to look normal, and my pathology to come back clean. We will see what the next week brings.
Hugs and great bug thank yous to all for your kindness and support.
11 days post op
Physically, I will be fine to go back to work Monday, two weeks post op. I still feel somewhat swollen and sore, but mostly my nipples are sore and sensitive. I think I am healing well.
Emotionally, I'm still upset that I'm too big. I'm at least a D, and like 90% sure I'm a DD. Boo hoo. I really wanted to be something more manageable. I won't be able to wear cute little bras and dresses and tops. Nope. That isn't going to happen. I will be stuck with big ugly bras that continue to dig into my shoulders and ribs. I won't be able to run comfortably. The list goes on.
I will be patient and try not to get depressed over this. But it's hard not to be depressed about my nipples. They still look dreadful. I have never seen this happen on anyone else and I've tried to find something even remotely similar by searching the web. No luck. I just don't understand. Why have they completely inverted? I will talk to my surgeon Monday December 23rd at my next post op.
I'm sick of sleeping on my back and sick of sleeping with a bra on.
And that about wraps up my rant for today. Again I'm embarrassed to share my pictures, but am sharing them and my mood so that hopefully this will help someone else, just as you all have helped me so much during this process.
Two weeks post op
So, my old bra fits. Quite well actually. My coworkers who knew about the surgery said I didn't look any different and the ones who didn't know why I was absent for two weeks just asked how I was. This despite the fact that I wore a sweater in which my smaller boobs would have evident, if only I had smaller boobs! :(
Just wondering...to my experienced sisters: How different are you now, than you were at two weeks? At two weeks, I'm a 38DD. At this point, maybe my hopes of a C are a past hope, but I'm really really praying a D might be possible.
Day 17 post op
There is a 5cm round hard spot on my right breast that's really sore. Up near the top, around 2pm (if my armpit is 10am). Feels like a lump. Is this normal at nearly three weeks post op??? Im not sure if its been there all along. Ill definitely mention it to my surgeon on monday, but was hoping someone here could shed some light. Thanks.
3 week post op pictures and update.
Concern about still being too big: He took as much as he could safely without compromising breast shape. I am still a little swollen so may go down a bit more. MAY go down. He took 270 grams from each side of breast tissue plus 200 cc of lipo from each side. That's about a pound per side including lipo. Question: Did your PS include the lipo amount in amount taken?
Concern about nipples: They were flat before and should come back to what they were. SHOULD come back.
Concern about hard spot: That's scar tissue from the liposuction apparently. Not sure I'm convinced of this and will mention it to my family doctor next time I see her, if its still there. In the meantime I'll try massage.
When can I run again? Wait the full six weeks (three more weeks). Good Lord, I'll be huge by then! I've already gained 1.5kg 3pounds being sedentary these last three weeks!
How long do i have to wear a bra at night? I can stop anytime, but he suggests toughing it out a couple more weeks.
When can I sleep n my stomach? Whenever it doesn't hurt to. He suggests waiting a couple more weeks.
He said my right breast is a tiny bit bigger than my left, but it was before too and also it seems to be more swollen. He says the shape is perfect, the lift is perfect, and I should be very happy.
I asked what if I'm not, what are my choices. He said to be patient and reassess in six months.
Oh, and pathology was not back yet.
Not sure how I feel after today's appt. I'll let it settle and update again soon.
Also, I've noticed that people who look way smaller than I do are a DD, and others that look bigger say they're a C. So, I'm thinking cup size has a lot to do with how petite you are. The bigger the difference between your rib cage and your bust size, the bigger your cup size. And as I type this, I say to myself, this is not news!!! But I just wanted to share my measurements: band (rib cage) is 36, bust is 43. I'm quite sure that still makes me a 36DDD. Wish I had measured myself before! Maybe I was bigger than a DDD and the fact that I'm now a DD I think is an improvement.
Lastly, I want to say that I've reread my review and comments and noticed I sound quite unhappy. I'm not sure if this is a true reflection of how I feel (even though yes, i wish i was smaller) so I thought I'd list what I'm thankful for:
I am healing beautifully, my incisions look great
I've definitely been lifted
I havent had any complications
I have a great shape, nice and round
It seems I won't have to get used to having small or even normal size boobs, and all my clothes, bras included, will continue to fit! :)
Merry Christmas friends. Thank you for all your kindness.
4 weeks post op update
5 weeks post op
I'm still sleeping on my back because even sleeping on my side is uncomfortable. I'm hoping this means I'm still swollen but I doubt it. I'm still sleeping with a bra on because, truthfully, I'm afraid to sleep without it. Genie bra size XL every night. Blech. During the day I'm wearing my old wire free bras, and yup, they still fit. Like I said i havemt changed at all since week one.
My incisions look fine. I finally pulled off the last few steri strips and a couple of them left a mark! Ouch! But the incision lines are very thin so that's good. My nipples are still inverted. Boo hoo. When I'm cold and normally my nipples would become erect, now my nipples just get really sore. I keep expecting them to POP out, but nope. Also I've noticed that some whitish guck has started collecting in the nipple crevices. Icky. I shower every day, so it's not a dirt thing. Anyone know what I can do about this?
Over the holidays I've gained weight and I can't wait to work out. One more week! I'll take it easy at first, but watch out gym, here I come! And a bath. How I miss my tub! One more week for that too, right?
So...I'm still way bigger than I was hoping to be. Still a 36/38DD. Yes shape is nice and yes I've healed with no issues but really? I went through surgery to go from a DDD to DD, and end up with inverted nipples? I paid $2000 for liposuction when my breasts were so dense and non fatty that he only took 270g in tissue and 200g in liposuctioned fat from each side? Yes, I'm still struggling with whether this was worth it or not. I will wait the six months and then reassess.
I've attached pictures that I hope are helpful, becasue some of them aren't so pretty!
6 weeks post op
My incisions look good. Thin lines, no infection, no redness, no itchiness, no issues at all. I healed perfectly well. For this I am very thankful.
And now...time for the weekly rant:
My breasts are still too big. Honestly, they haven't changed at all since one week post op. I still measure a DD, and sometimes a DDD. My DDD bras still fit me (quite well, actually). I think I went down one cup size, and my nipples were lifted. I received the report, and tissue and liposuction, the total per side was one pound, including liposuction, I repeat. about 270gr per side, plus 200cc of lipo per side. I do wish I was at least one cup size smaller, I would have been happy with a small D, but alas, I'm a DD, and a good size DD at that. Don't ask why the surgeon didn't take more, I've been through that, and am starting to blame myself for still going with him despite him telling me he would be conservative when removing tissue. So its the same old song and dance over here, still wish I was smaller. Still am not smaller. Really doubt I'll get smaller. Oh well. Like I've said before, I will revisit in 6 months, and possible seek another reduction - YIKES!
Other concerns are still the same as previously mentioned:
1. My nipples are still completely inverted. They look so sad. My husband says who cares, but I DO! When I'm cold they ache like they want so badly to make an appearance, but don't. They seem to be jammed in there for good. Sad sad me.
2. Righty is still bigger than lefty. This was the case before surgery too, but then why would he remove 10 extra grams from the left as opposed to from the right??? Seriously????
3. My left nipple is more centered than the right. The right is closer to my arm and off center. Oye.
Yesterday marked 6 weeks, and I practically ran to the gym! I was so excited to start exercising again! I did an hour long boot camp class, and today I need crutches! Amazing how a class like that would barely phase me 6 weeks now, and now I'm in agony! I'm happy that I was able to get through it though and without any difficulty (although my muscles would disagree). Back to the gym tonight for an hour step class. I must shed this extra weight and it'll come now that I can exercise again. I wore my usual Anita sports bra, and I really didn't feel much different. Maybe a tiny bit less bounce, but that could have been because I was conscious of every move I made and tried to keep it less aggressive! After the gym FINALLY took a long hot bath. Oh how I've missed the bath! It felt great!
Also, I have been wearing my usual bras day in and day out - still to bed as well. Bed, where I'm still sleeping on my back, with the occasional roll onto my side for half an hour.
That's all for now. I will post 6 weeks photos shorty.
Hope you are all well. Virtual hugs!
7 weeks post op
NOT worth it :(
- I had the stress of worrying prior to surgery
- I took time off for appointments
- I paid $2000
- I had quite a large surgery
- I took 2 weeks off work, one week used up a vacation week
- I was in pain
- I could not take care of myself and my family for a few weeks
- I could not exercise for 6 weeks
- I had to sleep on my back (and still am, rarely on my side for short periods of time)
- I had to sleep with a bra on (and still am)
- I have scars on my breasts
- I now have ugly inverted nipples and (the areolas are indented too)
- I now have lobsided nipples as one points outwards more than the other
- I now have one breast bigger than the other (although this may have been the case before, but you’d think he would have noticed that and fixed it, rather than take MORE out of the smaller one????)
And all this for what? To go from a DDD to a DD, still wear the same bras, still look the same in my clothes, still have bra indentations at the end of the day, still can’t work out comfortably without sweat rashes from the gigantic sports bras, still am not comfortable………
What I did get was one cup size smaller, and a lift. This is not what I wanted, and this is not what paid for. I am disappointed, but am considering it a life lesson and will move on. In six months, if I still feel disappointed, I will see ANOTHER plastic surgeon for perhaps a second reduction, but at the very least, to have my nipples fixed. I am sure this will cost another few thousand dollars, so I suppose I will have to weigh the pros and cons at that time.
To be honest, I am so envious of everyone else on this site who is happy with their results. Huge breasts have turned into beautiful little things. Frowns have turned into smiles. And I am so very happy for you all, really I am. I just wish I was one of you. I would still say, based on the vast majority of stories I see here, that those who are suffering with large breasts should have a reduction. Just please, please, take your time and do your homework in regards to the surgeon. My surgeon was talented no doubt, he is respected for sure, he is able to perform the surgery well obviously, as I had no complications. However, he didn’t listen to me, and ended up doing exactly what he planned to from the first time I met him, without regard to my pleas to please, please, ensure I am small enough to be comfortable. Also, dismissing my concerns about still being too big ("you don't realize how much smaller you are") and inverted nipples concern (“they were inverted beforehand, I checked on the table”) wasn’t right. And releasing me at 3 weeks post op from his care I found to be a little harsh. So when choosing your surgeon, make sure yours listens to you. That you are both very clear of what you want, what you expect. Also, be sure that if you are unhappy with the outcome, your surgeon will work with you until you are happy.
I will update again at 2 months post op, and then at each month post op. I will update sooner if anything of any significance happens. Otherwise, I will not share my feelings, disappointment and sadness, because I know that my experience is the very rare exception, and I don’t want to scare anyone away from doing what should be a life changing experience for the better!
Take care, everyone.
2 months post op
I am still sleeping mostly on my back. I do find myself on my side more often though, and I can't wait to sleep on my stomach again (I'm a stomach sleeper). Maybe next month?
I stopped wearing a bra to sleep last night. It felt a little weird to be "free", but good at the same time.
My incisions look fine. They are healing well. Still a little red but not an issue at all.
I have been exercising regularly since 6 weeks post op. I love exercise, and can't wait to run again (too much snow in Toronto to run outdoors, and running indoors on a treadmill bores me). I still feel the same as I did pre op wrt exercise. Still wearing the same workout bras with the same big boobs discomfort.
On that note, yes, I'm still too big. I haven't changed at all since two weeks post op. I'm still wearing the same pre op bras. I'm measuring 35 (88cm) band and 43 (109cm) breasts. The shape is nice and round. The swelling seems to have dissipated, maybe there is a tiny bit of swelling left. Right breast is still bigger than left. Left nipple is still more centred than right. Both nipples point outwards instead of forward. I'm sure these things aren't going to change now.
Speaking of nipples, they are still completely inverted. My husband thinks the areolas are less indented than previously, so maybe this is a good sign. Someone mentioned on here that maybe the surgeon pulled the areolas in too tight when reattaching them. And I think this might be true because when I lean forward, they do seem to get sucked in. So two things that continue to upset me, the small difference in size (went from 38DDD to 38DD) and the ugly inverted nipples and indented areolas.
I still think about a revision to fix these things...but this would be months and months away.
I have tried to put the situation behind me for the most part, and just carry on.
I will post pictures shortly.
3 months post op
I am now sleeping mostly on my sides, and sometimes on my stomach, but that isn't 100% comfortable yet, so I try it, and then flip to my sides. Hopefully soon!
My incisions look good. No issues at all from the start. I am now applying some bio oil nightly, more to massage the tissue than to rid of the scars. That never really concerned me.
Regarding exercise, i am back to working out regularly since 6 weeks post op. i managed to lose the weight i gained during my down time - thank goodness! its so hard to lose, so easy to gain!
Regarding size, I'm still too big. Despite my hopes, im still a 36/38DD. I haven't changed at all since two weeks post op, and i know that i wont change either. I've accepted that. Im measuring 35 (88cm) band and 43 (109cm) breasts, no change. Still same issues: Right breast is still bigger than left. Left nipple is still more centred than right. Both nipples point outwards instead of forward. But again, I've accepted those imperfections, too.
The nipples, however, im not willing to accept; they are still completely inverted, and make me very sad. I saw my family doctor recently for my annual physical and she's sure that the indentation of the areolas and inversion of the nipples has to do with my extremely dense breast tissue, that has pulled the area in. She thinks it will get better, but will probably never completely correct. Regardless, I will look into surgery to correct this issue if thats even possible (i mean, how do you loosen tissue???). I will begin this investigation at six months post op.
I have not bought any new bras. My old ones still fit fine. I will definitely do some Spring shopping soon, and maybe I'll hit VS at the same time for a new bra. :)
So...my RS sisters, that's all for now. Although I wish I could say I'm thrilled, I'm not. But that's okay. I'm good. I'll always be big chested, it seems. And the nipples, well, time will tell on that one. I'll update again in a month.
Thank you for sharing your journeys and your kind words of support to one another. What a wonderful community this is. :)
4 months post op
I am now sleeping in any position that suits me, mostly on my stomach as I'm a stomach sleeper.
My incisions look good. No issues at all. I apply bio oil when I remember.
Regarding exercise, i am back to working out regularly since 6 weeks post op. Last weekend I ran 10km for first time in a long time. When i removed my sports bra, I had a huge rash under my breasts and also on the sides. :( I bought some more body glide and that made me very sad. I never thought I'd have to use that stuff again after a breast reduction.
Regarding size, I'm still too big. I was measured at an upscale bra shop in Toronto, and my size is a 36DDD in some bras and 36G in others. I ended up buying a spoets bra in 34H. Gah!!! I haven't changed at all since two weeks post op, Im still measuring 35 (88cm) band and 43 (109cm) breasts, no change.
The nipples are still completely inverted, and the areolas are still indented. I actually dislike my breasts more now post reduction. I will look into surgery fix them in another couple of months.
The only other thing I will share is that I'm still quite disappointed that my surgeon, who is highly regarded and the chief of plastics at the hospital where I had my surgery, didn't sympathize with my concerns post op. Also, if he thought my nipples were inverted prior to surgery, like he said, why didn't he mention this to me prior and suggest fixing them at the same time??? Why did he release me at 3 weeks post op when he knew I wasn't happy? Why didn't he suggest a possible fix to m nipples, to my "still too huge" concerns? A little compassion would have made all the difference. My family doctor suggests going back to him and asking these questions, but I don't think I want to. A very difficult situation, that I really wish I could forget about. Maybe in a bit more time ill feel less disappointed. So....make sure you love your surgeon, trust your surgeon, ask every question and ensure you get the answer you want. If there is any concern, the slightest red flag...MOVE ON! This is not an easy surgery, physically nor emotionally, so make sure your priorities are heard and understood!
I continue to enjoy reading your stories and love to see your great results!
That's all for now! Happy Spring! :)
5 months post op
The nipples are still completely inverted, and the areolas are still indented. I tried using a product called Nipplettes but didn't have any luck with them. This just reinforces that this isn't just a nipple inversion - the entire areola complexes are tight and sucked in.
I will need to have this fixed as its very unattractive. If I'm wearing just a bra and tshirt, you can see the shape of the indented nipple and areola area. It looks awful. Summer is coming and my choice is either a padded bra (ya, that's what a 36DDD needs!), no thin t shirts, or fix the problem. I will definitely fix the problem, at a cost of who knows what, and by what surgeon??? This really sucks, no other way to put it.
I won't be going back to my surgeon. I think it's disgraceful that he dismissed me the way he did. I know other surgeons personally and they can't believe it and actually think maybe I misunderstood him, because apparently it's unheard of to be released from care at three weeks, especially when there are concerns.
Since my review there have been other reviews for the same surgeon appear. This makes me wonder if the staff asked their more happy clients to write a review to debunk mine. Truth is I never wanted to write a negative review, I think I was quite honest with mine, pointing out the good and bad. And most importantly, stressing how important communication is with your surgeon. If you sense any red flag - do not hesitate to stop, review, and interview other surgeons. I think if I did that, I wouldn't be in this position, as my concerns would have been heard and dealt with.
So now my task is to find a surgeon in the Toronto area that has a lot of experience with nipples. I cannot go to just any surgeon with this problem. I'd like to have a further reduction too, but I jut fear that ill once again be disappointed.
Next month will be six months. I will make appointments and decisions at that time.
Congratulations to everyone with great results! I truly am happy for you!
6 months post op
Stay tuned! :)
6 months post op...Continued
It all became very clear to me a couple of weeks before my six month mark. I would see my family doctor for referrals to two surgeons that i had thoroughly researched and was quite excited to meet. I would discuss fixing my nipples and possibly a reduction revision. My appt with my family doctor was on June 2nd.
Unfortunately, my doctor would not refer me to these two other surgeons. She insisted, rather, that I return to my original surgeon to discuss my concerns. In Canada you need a family doctor to refer you to any specialist, so I'm pretty screwed. She told me to seriously consider seeing my original surgeon. If in a couple more months if I'm still against that idea, then she will refer me to a surgeon of my choice.
My family doctor is amazing. I love her. She has helped me though some very tough times, medical and otherwise. And I understand where she is coming from. But, at the same time, this came as a real blow. I was so excited to move forward, and now it looks like I have to wait, a few more months, and then maybe a few more after that, by the time I get an appt with the new surgeon.
Otherwise all is the same, as you can see from the 6 month picture. I haven't changed since two weeks post op.
My measurements are 34 rib cage, 42 breasts. I am wearing a 36DDD bra, and 38DD also fits. My nipples are still completely inverted. I still am the friend with huge boobs. I still can't run without rashes. My sports bras are still huge, tight and uncomfortable restraints. My shoulders are still sore, my neck is still sore, my back is still sore.......
And now, my option is to go back to my surgeon and see what he suggests??? I don't know. I'd feel like a fool, but maybe I should hold my head high and go? I'm past angry. I'm past disappointed. I'm just being realistic now. I want / need smaller breasts and my nipples fixed. My incisions look good. I healed with no issues. Maybe I should give him a chance to fix me, and redeem himself?
This is where I stand. In UNSURE land. This is not a pleasant place to be....
2/5 for bedside manner because although he did ask me "any questions?", I never felt as though I could ask, and when I did, my questions were often dismissed. "I think you look great"..."You don't realize the difference". Not exactly a quality conversation. 1/5 for aftercare and follow up because he released me from his care at 3 weeks post op; maybe this is because I was healing so well, but I would have expected another appt or two where I could air my concerns, and options would be offered. 4/5 for email responsiveness because he's the only doctor, for me ever, who replied to my email. 3/5 for staff because the patient coordinator was nice, however I found the front desk staff to be indifferent. 2/5 for wait times, as I always waited at least an hour, sometimes longer to see him, and my surgery started 1.5 hours late (which with surgeons, I guess that has to be expected, as who knows what issues come up in the ER). A couple other things - I was never provided with the references that I asked for from the patient coordinator - I was a little shocked to have to pay $35 for copies of my before and after picture, and the surgical report, and I only received them (had to pick them up) after requesting them repeatedly However - My incisions do look great, I have had no issues healing whatsoever - the surgeon and the patient coordinator were very understanding when I had that abnormal ECG scare - and lastly, the surgeon is respected and qualified, he just didn't give me what I wanted and expected, and truthfully, he did somewhat warn me that he was conservative with tissue removal, so perhaps my disappointment with size is my fault.