The journey to feeling like a woman may be put on hold.

I am investing way too much time into researching things I already know the answer to and looking on this website. I am grateful for all you wonderful ladies sharing your stories to help guide one another through the crazy things we put ourselves through. Today I stumbled upon regret stories, which really just turned me off to the idea. Of course, I had just about decided a BA was going to be good for me. I would hate to think all this time and energy have been wasted should I just drop this issue, but I am terrified of something going wrong or me hating the results. For me, wanting a BA isn't just about wanting larger breasts. In fact, I don't want very large implants at all - anything more than the pecs I have now would make me happy. I am actually pretty confident about everything except my breasts, which never bothered me until this year. Not really sure what changed except they are getting smaller. I need to hurry and decide because I have a perfect window for having surgery between jobs at the end of December. I suppose I'll continue to debate this issue a little longer.

I uploaded some pictures of me in a bikini. I am trying to decide if I want to consult another PS to get another opinion. I really liked the first doctor I went to, I just didn't get to try on sizers or show him any pictures that I complied of what I like and what I don't. How did you approach deciding exactly what you wanted and discussing that with your doctor?

Well I had my first consultation this past Friday. I am still unsure. My original preference was for saline under the muscle, but he said since the space between my breasts is wider than normal and my breast base is smaller than the implants, that I would likely have issues with rippling while standing and leaning forward. He recommends silicone. I'll admit, that kind of freaks me out, even though I know there has been no researched evidence that silicone is bad for us. I know it is in a lot of products that we use everyday. In the office, I got to feel saline and silicone. I'll admit, the silicone was much better in my hand, especially when I shook it. The saline was very sloshy, and as active as I am, I think I would feel that in my body. Does anyone have experience with this?

I got all the pricing information and potential dates, I just need to pull the trigger. It is just so much money to spend on myself. Every time I think I have decided to go through with it, I think of 5 other things I need to spend the money on instead. It's ridiculous really. I am thinking about making a consultation with another doctor in the area to get another perspective.