She Who Nose One Nose None.-Sydney, AU
- updated 4 months ago
So like everyone else who posts reveiws here,...
- 1 Mar 2013
So like everyone else who posts reveiws here, after years of procrastinating I have finally decided to do this for myself. Until I was 13 years old I was a happy girl, outgoing and with many friends. And then puberty happened.
Whilst puberty does horrible things to everyone most people come out on the other end looking better than during the middle of it. I lucked out however. Not only did my nose outgrow me and form a bump on it, but after years of being excited about one day being able to wear pretty bras and strapless tops I never grew any breasts. Now I'm not talking about all these girls that call themselves flat because they wear a B cup. I don't even fill an A. Where I live, in Australia, it's impossible to find a size 8AA.
Although I feel as though I was cheated out of something during puberty I can live with being petite. I work in the rag trade and the majority of models I know are flat also. But for 5 years through high school I was bullied terribly for my nose. I mean I could not walk down a path between classes without having names called out at me. I spent half of my high school trying to be invisible so no one would notice me and call me names. It wasn't one kid, it was about 15 kids, impossible to avoid them all. I had terrible depression as a teen, I dreaded every day that I had to leave the house. What if I was out in public and one of my bullies saw me?
So 7 years post high school, although I now don't care what any of those kids think or say anymore, I still suffer anxiety in social situations. When I meet new people, how long will it take before they notice my nose? Will they find me unatractive because of that? And how long will it take for them to ask me if I have ever broken my nose? (They always do, and somehow it fells like if I had, that would make my nose acceptable)
I am sick of looking in the mirror, or at profile photographs of myself and having a constant reminder of how horrible that time of my life was. My sense of self worth was so low that I thought of killing myself almost everyday. I am sick of feeling anxious every time I start a new job, meet new friends, or when I am dating.
So after years of torturing myself with these obsurd anxieties I am doing something about it. Not for all the people who look at my nose, because I know that people pay far less attention to me than my vanity would like to think, I am doing it for myself so that I can finally be the confident person I want to be.
So, watch this space...
Just updating with some current pics. You can see...
- 10 Mar 2013
I had a consult with another surgeon over the...
- 25 Mar 2013
I felt much more comfortable with Dr Lim than the last surgeon I saw. He answered all of my questions, explained what steps the procedure would involve and had a very realistic idea of my outcome. I did not feel as though he was trying to sell me a dream.
He sat with me as he photoshopped how my nose would most likely look.
I also humoured myself to ask about a BA whilst I was there because, well because I'm paying enough for a consult that I might as well! I tried on some different implant sizes. Wow, it feels so strange to have anything jiggly on my chest. Stuffing your bra really feels nothing like it!
I just want to book in and do it now, but I cannot take the time off work until the end of the year. It's going to be a long 9 months for me :(
It's been a while since I have updated. But I have...
- 13 May 2013
I finally had the discussion with my Mum. I was soooo stressed out about doing it. I was worried that she would think I was crazy, or be offended by me wanting to change what I was born with. Boy was I wrong!
She was so supportive and understood exactly why I need to do this without me having to explain anything. She even offered to pay for it for me which I was not expecting AT ALL! I realise now that she has seen me struggle with this for as long as I have, and just wants me to be happy and move on.
I had completely forgotten but she told me that when I was in the depth of my depression I wrote her a note explaining why I was so sad and that I wanted to fix my nose. She said that she did not find the note for a few months and then did not know how to bring it up after that. How silly we both feel now!
I think she had been waiting for the past ten years for me to say something. At the same time I had been waiting for ten years, trying to pretend that I did not have a problem. Now I really wish I had done something about my nose a long time ago, instead of hiding all my insecurities.
I'm excited about the possibility of being able to have my surgery in the next month or two instead of waiting till the end of the year, but at the same time I'm wondering if I will feel better if Its something I pay for myself. I feel so much better already, not feeling like I have this big secret weighing on me. Although I still have to tell my co-workers...
- 19 May 2013
12 days and counting
- 26 Jun 2013
The wait has been hard. I have been thinking up all sorts of ways to countdown till my surgery. How many pedicures I would give myself, and how many times I would have to take the garbage out. How many phone bills I would have to pay...
My pre-op is three days away and I am feeling good and excited about everything :)
Three days and counting!
- 5 Jul 2013
I'm nervous but just ready for it to be over with :s
- 13 Jul 2013
I am five days post op and I still need to stay on top of my pain meds. The swelling has gone down by about 70%. Most of the swelling is just under my eyes and on the bridge of my nose. My tip hs not swollen very much at all as I don't think my doc really did too much to it which I'm happy about. Nobody has mentioned this but my teeth hurt. It's a similar pain to having braces (which I used to). My upper lip is quite stiff and I cannot feel the underside of my nose besides the occasional nerve pain near the stitches.
All that aside I LOVE how it looks already! It's exactly what I wanted and Im So glad that I trusted my doc! It looks as though it was always meant to look this way and my partner said he already cannot remember how my old one looked. I am so glad that I did this for myself, I only wish I had done it years ago! I'm adding some very unflattering pics of the swelling on day 1 post op and the swelling today so you can see how quickly it will swell and subside.
I will post again when my cast comes off in two days!
No pain killers today!
- 14 Jul 2013
Four weeks post op
- 28 Jul 2013
I was so nervous when the splints were taken out! The first one hurt so badly as it was stuck in there, but then the second one did not hurt at all! To anyone who is recovering or about to have this done, make sure you use your prescribed nose spray regularly as it will help keep the splints clean and free to take out.
I have not posted in a while as I am back at work and super busy!
All in all I would say that this has been a positive experience for me.
Psychologically I am still self conscious about my nose but I think this is just habit and will pass with time. I can't believe I waited so long to do this for myself!
Photo update 5 weeks post op
- 6 Aug 2013
:) worth it!