Mommy Makeover: Stories

You can read Part 1 of my journey here.

Updated on 2 Nov 2012:
Yesterday, I was able to go straight from ultrasound to biopsy. To save time. Which is fantastic. However, biopsy results at Kaiser usually take 3-5 business days. Baaaaaaad!

But first, for those of you who, like me before yesterday, have never had a biopsy, I thought I'd explain. Because I was TERRIFIED.

It was nothing! First, I lay down on the bed and they propped up my right side a little with a pillow to get the breast to flop correctly. They put a bit of gel and used the ultrasound wand to find the lump, then marked me. Three swabs of betadine for the cleaning, cover with a clear, sterile film with a circle cut out that exposes the entry site. Then ultrasound again to find the lump and two injections of lidocaine mixed with epinephrine. The epinephrine discourages bleeding (and makes you jumpy). They said there would be a pinch, then a burn until the lidocaine hit. I felt almost nothing upon entry and no burn at all. The second shot I fel slightly more than nothing, since it was deeper. Easy. I could not tell the difference b/w numbed and not. But I also felt almost nothing during my mammogram either. My breasts have been pretty demolished by breastfeeding and pregnancy, though.

I'm back! And since my biopsy post was cut off, I'll complete that first.

Anyway, the biopsy syringe is HUGE--4-5 inches long and much fatter than a blood test syringe. And when they snip out the sample, it sounds like...a loud, plastic crack. They pull a trigger to take the sample and it is loud. If they don't offer to demonstrate before they put it in you, ask for a demonstration. Of course, maybe some newer, shinier hospitals have quieter ones. But I didn't feel it going in. They said I'd feel a tugging. For me, that was overstating it a bit. It felt like he was patting my breast lightly. Zero pain. But I was getting more and more nervous from the epinephrine. They took five samples, most of which I witnessed on the ultrasound monitor.

When they're done, they take a needle twice as large, seriously, and use it to inject the lump with a marker or clip. It looks like a tiny piece of plastic string that's been tied so there's a little loop and two tails. That sits in your lump forever, because if it's benign, they'll know they checked that lump already next time you have a mammogram. If it's cancerous, they remove the lump marked by clips, plus some surrounding tissue. Then they taped my up and took me for another mammogram to confirm the placement of the clip(s). They accidentally deployed two, so my lump is well-marked.

Since all of this, I have felt three or four minor twinges from the lump and/or its surroundings. No pain. And it's been a few days now. So I'd say not to worry if you have to have one, but am curious as to others' experiences.

As of today, I got the results which were, as predicted, negative. So they'll leave the lump in, unless it's obvious to Dr. H when he starts working. My surgery starts at 8:00 a.m., with pre-op at 6:30. We have to leave the hotel at 5 a.m. I think the marking will be at 7:30. Surgery is planned for 6 hours. BL first, then TT after. I will have FOUR drains, one in each armpit, and one on each side for the TT. No binder. And can shower the next day. Have asked for pics of my insides but we'll see if he remembers. :).

The bad news is that I have my period and likely will for two more days. Also, I seem to have caught a cold. So i'm going to bed now, but first I have to say that the Staybridge Suites in Stafford is BEAUTIFUL. Even better than its online pics. We got a one bedroom suite.

Okay, good night, ladies. Continued happy healing to those on the flat side, good luck to those on their way, and I hope to update all of you lovelies tomorrow!

xxxxxxx

I am in so much pain right now. It feels like I did 3000 crunches yestersay, and now someone is standing on my abs in heels. also my throat is too sore to bear, and i have a giant rip from the breathing tube just behind the right side of my tongue. and it's five degrees in here! and they won't let me drink anything until 8 am. BUT I MADE IT!

happy healing and good lucks all around

I haven't the wherewithal to write a big review, butwa ted to thank you all for the well-wishes. It was beautiful to read and I needed them! I am still in constant, excruciating pain. The vicodin barely makes a dent in it. Nor did the demerol when I was still in the hospital. I try to sleep most of the time. My breasts turned out good! It'll be six weeks before they are baked. I cant't straighten up enough to see the TT results.

Okay, I'm exhausted now. Happyq healing and good luck to all.
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I'm so sad, because I thought I'd be lying in my bed, strung out on pain pills, and reading and writing with all my lovely lady friends on RealSelf. But I can't write for a minute without getting exhausted from the pain. Today I managed to watch some TV though...I couldn't do that before. Although the pain is everywhere, it is concentrated in the muscle repair and everywhere he sutured muscle. I was not given valium. Only vicodin and antibiotics. I took my first laxative today...hope it helps or I won'tbe able to eat tomorrow. Sorry for typos. Too hard to fix all. Thank you all for your support. I hope I can be one day soon.

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Thanks, again, to everyone for the comments/suggestions. I am feeling much better now, though not well enough to answer sll comments individually. We changed my vicodin to every three hours instead of four, and changed to position of pillows in the bed. I can now be more comfortable for long stretches at a time. I am more tired but prefer it to the pain. My drainage is also slowly losing color. I hope to get the breast drains removed Monday. We're at about 40 cc's now, so it's not unreasonable. Going to empty drains now.

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Adding pics: post-op day 3.

I'm adding pics of the bopbs after my ordeal of a shower today. Won't be doing _that_ again soon! Note how high they are, even without implants. They are also hard as rubber balls right now. Can't wait to see once they relax a bit and e swelling goes down. Right now a 32 D.

So I'm finally lucid enough to realize that I should attempt to catalogue some of the differences between what I had done and the standard TT/BL combo.

The Ultimate Breast Lift (UBL) is a big procedure. It involves removing skin, stripping off the epidermis, then coning the dermal layer around the breast tissue and suturing. More dermis is used to form straps which position the breasts on the chest wall. The breasts are no longer free-floating after this procedure. The skin is redraped overtop but no longer serves a support role. The chest wall and pecs are fully supporting all of the breast tissue. After the operation, the patient must wear a lightly padded underwire bra 24/7 for SIX WEEKS until all of the cones and straps have fully healed. After that, a bra is no longer needed. My procedure took about 3 hours.

The tummy tuck Dr. H generally performs is a three-part procedure. First, he sutures the sides somehow, to nip in the waist slightly. Then he repairs the muscle medially (the diastasis). Finally, he adds a layer of surgical mesh to replace the fascia which were destroyed by your pregnancy (or whatever). For me, he also fixed my umbilical hernia. Luckily, I didn't get any lipo, because I asked him to reduce my mons pubis so everything would be in proportion afterward and I'll tell you what: that little 3x3 inch area burns like fire! The worst pain though, is the LATERAL muscle suturing! The side sutures to nip in the waist are worse even than the diastasis repair. I'd guess it's because those muscles were strongest and so are fighting back the hardest. This procedure also took about 3 hours. I was in surgery over six hours, and I was an easy case--not a big girl. He normally tries not to double up these procedures but out of towners like me demand so much, and I was relatively young and healthy. I feel neither right now.

I got drains in both breasts and belly, but will wear NO BINDER until healed. I feel like I'm wearing one all of the time because of the mesh, but that's another difference. I have a lot of trouble breathing because of the tightness of the mesh. I will hopefully get used to it in time.

Okay, exhausted now.

XxxxX

BTW, anyone else end up with knicks and scabs on their chest for no apparent reason? I have all these scabs in places nobody should have been cutting...?

Okay. So yesterday, I forgot to mention that I had my first BM. It was like passing a cork, then the rest of it wa totally normal. I don't know if the cup of senna tea I'd had 2 days prior influenced it at all. We'll see when the next one comes.

BUT, the big news for today is that, despite feeling extremely nauseous (like I do every morning since this op) and dizzy, I am able to stand nearly upright today. And when I do, what do I see, ladies and gentlemen of the jury? Why, RIBS! In my ribcage! THROUGH MY SKIN. WTF? My PS pulled me so tight, my ribs are showing through the skin, even with the swelling. Course, it helps that my boobs are so high now, too. No wonder I can't breathe!

Have my second (of 3) PO appointment today. Hoping to get rid of the boob drains! That should help tremendously with the bra discomfort.

So, I got a couple of answers!!! We had our second post-op appointment today with Dr. Horndeski, and it went great! I had all four drains removed. The drains in the armpits hurt like a....well, they hurt like a terrible rope burn, preceded by a cat claw ripping into the skin. So that wasn't fun. The right hip drain hurt much less--just a slight rope burn. The left hip I didn't feel at all. If I hadn't watched it, I wouldn't have known he'd done that one. Go figure. I did them in order of decreasing pain :)

As for all those scabs and nicks and stuff. Turns out most of them are from the staples. Yeah, you read that right. STAPLES. Because they STAPLE THE COVER ONTO YOU WHILE THEY'RE OPERATING. When I had the biopsy, they used a self-adhesive cover. During surgery you're out, of course, so I guess then it's all right to hit you with the staple gun.

I got to see my pre-op pictures and the ones taken during surgery as well. Some were proprietary so I didn't get to keep them, but some I did. I'll post a few of them here but they're kinda graphic :D.

Can't think of anything else just now. Have to go and try to make myself a little food because I've run out of the soups I've been eating.

Happy continued healing to whom it may concern, congratulations, and good luck to the rest!

So, I got a couple of answers!!! We had our second post-op appointment today with Dr. Horndeski, and it went great! I had all four drains removed. The drains in the armpits hurt like a....well, they hurt like a terrible rope burn, preceded by a cat claw ripping into the skin. So that wasn't fun. The right hip drain hurt much less--just a slight rope burn. The left hip I didn't feel at all. If I hadn't watched it, I wouldn't have known he'd done that one. Go figure. I did them in order of decreasing pain :)

As for all those scabs and nicks and stuff. Turns out most of them are from the staples. Yeah, you read that right. STAPLES. Because they STAPLE THE COVER ONTO YOU WHILE THEY'RE OPERATING. When I had the biopsy, they used a self-adhesive cover. During surgery you're out, of course, so I guess then it's all right to hit you with the staple gun.

I got to see my pre-op pictures and the ones taken during surgery as well. Some were proprietary so I didn't get to keep them, but some I did. I'll post a few of them here but they're kinda graphic :D.

Can't think of anything else just now. Have to go and try to make myself a little food because I've run out of the soups I've been eating.

Happy continued healing to whom it may concern, congratulations, and good luck to the rest!

Sorry, it removed my other pics when it put in these...will have to take new after pics tomorrow, or upload again from my iPad! Bizarre.

Yeah, I know....probably not the very best title. But this update is about constipation.

So I had a BM two days ago *she says, then promptly checks her notes to verify that yes, it was the 11th* and after I'd passed the cork, the rest was normal for me. I believe that was an artifact of the senna tea. I have had no laxatives since that tea four or five days ago, and today's BM was solid, like what they show in movies a BM is supposed to look like. When I am not on narcotics, mine are never solid. This is because I eat no meat, dairy, and almost no starch, I think. Not even beans. So I don't think a laxative will be a necessity for me. But unless you eat like I do--vegan + no grains, no potatoes, no beans (only fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds, mushroooms, and occasional small servings of quinoa)--I'm going to guess the laxative isn't optional. Unless you are one of those lucky people who get diarrhea from antibiotics....maybe that'd cancel out. I'm writing this because I was wondering this before my op, and because I hate the senna tea. And because prune juice gives me gas! Actually, all stone fruit (peaches, plums, cherries, nectarines, apricots) give me gas. Gas is NOT what you want after a TT!

Took some new pics but since I still can't stand up straight.... I have gigantic folds at my sides from the TT. We'll see whether they improve enough over time that I won't need a revision. Ot's still reeeeally early days.

So it's been nearly 12 hours since I took vicodin last, and I am pleased to report that, at its very worst, the pain is about the same as it was three days ago WITH the vicodin. So. I am going to take some extra-strength tylenol tonight and hope for the best! :D

I had my final post-op visit this morning and it all went fine. We took out the three stitches left in my belly button (no pain), and the doctor said I can start wearing a compression garment or even just ace bandages if I want, to help smooth out the puckering on the sides. He also said that they removed 1.5-2 pounds of skin/fat from my belly. Which, if I were back to non-swollen and all, would put me at exactly my ideal weight. Until I gain more muscle, of course.

Mostly, I just wanted to say that I'm so happy with how this has all gone so far. I've known it was worth it since, like, day three post op, but even the scar is worth feeling how I feel now. I feel like someone who is healthy, who works out and eats right and gets to reap the benefits of that lifestyle. PLUS, I have great boobs! I am just over the moon.

It also helps that the anti-nausea medication has finally kicked in.

I only took those two extra strength tylenol before bed, and now two at 9 a.m. today. No Vicodin necessary. The discomfort is completely bearable, as long as I can lie down or sit in a reclined car seat most of the time.

Gonna go get breakfast now!

I can't believe how quickly one bounces back after this kind of serious surgery! I mean, it's been about 5hours shy of 9 days, and while I can't quite stand up straight yet, I slept without any OTC pain medicine last night. Nor have I needed any today yet (that'll be at the airport!) I showered and shaved without help. Dressed myself without help, in regular clothes. I swell a lot when I don't lie in bed all day, but I have no compression garments yet. I eat no salt, but I also don't drink enough water. Oh! Today is my first day without overwhelming nausea, so no nausea medication today, either.

I'm adding some more pics to show how quick the healing is coming along. I get to take off the tape next Tuesday, so then I'll get to see how the actual incisions are healing.

Bad thing: RealSelf stopped notifying me of what all my friends thatI'm following are doing. I didn't even know I'd gotten comments! What's up with that? So ifI don't answer right away or commentin a timely fashion, that's why.

Post-Op Day 10

Today was my first morning waking up at home! I didn't sleep as well as I have been in the hotel, but it's still nice to be home, and to know that there's no more travel necessary for a while. This morning, I got to hug and kiss my three daughters for the first time in nearly two weeks, and it was heaven! And they've been so nice! And my littlest even wanted salad with her avocados for breakfast. And they keep kissing me because they know I have boo-boos! Awesome. My mom did a fantastic job with them, and the woman I hired to clean the place while we were gone did a great job, too. So a just beautiful homecoming.

I'm wearing an extra-wide ace-type bandage around my middle now like a girdle, since my swelling did not significantly decrease overnight. I don't own any compression garments (other than actual boned corsets, heh,) and I can't drive yet, so we'll go with what we have and see what kind of results we get.

I will say, relaxing with 2.5-year-old twins yelling excitedly next to me continuously is not easy. Right now, they are repeatedly yelling "Good night, Mamma!" in Swedish. I'm lying in bed because I'm exhausted already at 9 a.m., and I still can't stand up straight. I basically got my breakfast (salad) together, ate it and fed some to my littlest, helped my middle daughter with her oatmeal, and then went back to bed. After showing my mom my new boobs! It made her feel faint just looking at the tape :). This is the lady who fell flat on her back on some outdoor, wood and concrete, stairs a couple of weeks before the surgery and only needed two days recuperation. She has an amazing tolerance for pain. But she's surprisingly squeamish about just a few things. Cutting up the body is one of them. And childbirth without pain medication is another. She could barely stand watching me laboring with my first, when I had a homebirth with a midwife.

Okay, now I'm just rambling! Continued happy healing to all, and good luck to those next on the chopping block!

So today, I tried on a pair of my favorite panties and realized that I wear them lower on the sides than my incision is. So I hope it heals well! Otherwise, I'll just have to wear a different kind of sexy underwear. But I look so much better now, I can't even worry about the scar.

This morning, I stepped on the scale, expecting to be a little heavier maybe, because of swelling and cause my friends on here always talk about not to weigh yourself. But I weighed 122.6! I wanted to see 125. Now I'm terrified that I already lost POUNDS of muscle!! It's only been two weeks!! I could just cry! All those hours at the gym :(.

But then I thought, maybe it's a little dehydration. And hopefully the next two weeks won't bring equal atrophying. Does anyone know how fast muscle can atrophy? It's probably because I couldn't eat for almost three days around the surgery, but my body needed protein for healing. *sigh*. Definitely time for breakfast.

I've long harbored a suspicion, but now that I'm post-op, I know that, at least for me, the following is true: My joy after having this procedure is not wholly explained by the fact that my breasts are perky and my tummy, flat. A large part of that joy, is merely the fact that, as these new body parts are bought and paid for, I feel allowed to LOVE THEM, without being conceited! There are certain kinds of pride that are still culturally frowned upon, and for women, being proud of your own natural breasts is just...well, it's just not done. One can be satisfied with them, though if you go around talking about them and how shapely they are, people will just think you're a narcissistic asshole. Especially since those beautiful breasts were genetically gotten. But BUYING a nice rack is kinda like finding that perfect dress. You can definitely show it off and love it, and no one will think you strange or conceited. After all, they could go out and buy it, too. You'd better not talk about the body that makes it look so great, but the dress? No problem. And now, that our beautiful bodies are bought like dresses, we can love them with permission.

At least, that's how it feels for me. I was allowed to be proud of my muscles, because I built them, but anything genetic, forget it. I love having long legs, but I'm not PROUD of them, and I don't derive joy from them. That said, perhaps the joy in my new bought body will wear off. But I've gotta say, after 25 years of UGLY breasts, I'm guessing it'll take more than a season for me to stop loving these new ones! Money well spent!

Peace!

Tomorrow makes two weeks, so I'll safe a real review for then. But for now, a few questions that I keep forgetting to ask:

First, was anyone else left with lots of that iodine stuff on them after the surgery? I don't know if it's because I'm dark-skinned, and so it didn't show up so well for them to dry it off, but I've got large swathes of this stuff and it's adhesive, so I can't wash it off. I'm just slowly waiting for it to come off because of my natural body oils and bathing. ANNOYING!

Second, my skin is starting to flake off on my entire torso, from just under the breast crease, all the way to the bottom of my mons pubis. Is this happening to anyone else? I'm nervous that it's the start of stretch marks or something? But maybe it's some chemical they used during the op that is making me peel. Or maybe it's just that stretching the skin that much makes it peel.

Finally, I itch!!!! I mean, I'd think it were just a sign of healing, except that it's not happening with my TT incision, only my breast incisions. The skin is pink and warm around all the incision lines, and itches soooooo so much. The skin is pink around the TT incision as well, but it doesn't itch. It does itch at my inner thighs, though, but I didn't get anything at all done there. I do have left over iodine stuff there. But I don't have that around my incisions. Anyone have a clue??

I'm super swollen after having to get my kids ready for their day and deal with them for many hours today. I was only able to lie down for an hour, when normally I lie down most of the day. I've been trying to be good to my body, but my mom is starting to chafe at having to take care of my kids all the time, so I had to do this. I got nauseous soon after breakfast and it lasted until about 3 p.m. I hope that was the nausea's last hurrah, because it's getting old. I'd actually thought it was done already, but maybe it was a result of dehydration or something. I'm not drinking 8 glasses of water/day anymore, because my tummy can't fit all that water in there :(.

Okay, that's it for now--sleep time. But good luck to all of you who go into surgery tomorrow, and continued happy healing to those already on the flat side.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Tomorrow makes two weeks, so I'll safe a real review for then. But for now, a few questions that I keep forgetting to ask:

First, was anyone else left with lots of that iodine stuff on them after the surgery? I don't know if it's because I'm dark-skinned, and so it didn't show up so well for them to dry it off, but I've got large swathes of this stuff and it's adhesive, so I can't wash it off. I'm just slowly waiting for it to come off because of my natural body oils and bathing. ANNOYING!

Second, my skin is starting to flake off on my entire torso, from just under the breast crease, all the way to the bottom of my mons pubis. Is this happening to anyone else? I'm nervous that it's the start of stretch marks or something? But maybe it's some chemical they used during the op that is making me peel. Or maybe it's just that stretching the skin that much makes it peel.

Finally, I itch!!!! I mean, I'd think it were just a sign of healing, except that it's not happening with my TT incision, only my breast incisions. The skin is pink and warm around all the incision lines, and itches soooooo so much. The skin is pink around the TT incision as well, but it doesn't itch. It does itch at my inner thighs, though, but I didn't get anything at all done there. I do have left over iodine stuff there. But I don't have that around my incisions. Anyone have a clue??

I'm super swollen after having to get my kids ready for their day and deal with them for many hours today. I was only able to lie down for an hour, when normally I lie down most of the day. I've been trying to be good to my body, but my mom is starting to chafe at having to take care of my kids all the time, so I had to do this. I got nauseous soon after breakfast and it lasted until about 3 p.m. I hope that was the nausea's last hurrah, because it's getting old. I'd actually thought it was done already, but maybe it was a result of dehydration or something. I'm not drinking 8 glasses of water/day anymore, because my tummy can't fit all that water in there :(.

Okay, that's it for now--sleep time. But good luck to all of you who go into surgery tomorrow, and continued happy healing to those already on the flat side.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

2 Weeks PO!

I can flex my tummy muscles now, and get out of bed with only minimal doscomfort. My TT is still too tight for me to stand up straight, but it gets better every day. I have two more antibiotic pills left to take, and haven't taken any pain medication (script or OTC) since the headache that drove me to Advil this past Saturday night. I still get tired easily, and would prefer to lie abed a few hours during the day if I could get away with it. The most I get is an hour, and I have the swelling to show for it.

I asked my PS office about the itching, scaly skin, iodine, and puckering. They said the itching is a pain response--healing nerves--and that it should abate within a couple of months, if not sooner. The scaly skin is a result of diminishing swelling that leaves dry skin. They didn't answer about the iodine, though I've found scrubbing with oil and scrubbing with soap and water afterward to be an uncomfortable but moderately effective solution. The puckering, they said, should disappear within SIX MONTHS, possibly sooner, and that after two weeks, I can start massaging it to help it along. The steri-strips can come off between Saturday and Tuesday a week from today.

My main countdown is to December 18th, the day my bra can come off! Wearing aunderwire bra 24/7 is heinous, but sleeping in one is just cruel! On December 18th, I will switch to a sleep bra!

That's all for now. Positive thoughts to all my beautiful RealSelf friends, including those of you I haven't met yet!


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Today makes three weeks post op for me, and I really have nothing particularly interesting to report. I'll add a couple of pictures, but there's not a whole lot of difference. I'm swelling much, much more, but I take my pics in the morning before that's gotten out of control, so you really can't see that in the pictures. My Physician's Assistant, Elisa, told me to remove the steri-strips today from both breasts and TT, so I did that. But that was after I'd taken my pictures. I retook pics of the breasts, but not the TT. So I'll post breast pics without steri-strips today for the first time. The TT will have to wait for next week.

I got my compression garment today!! Woot! I bought one from Design Veronique. It covers from mid-thigh up to just below my bust and is held up with suspender-type straps. Open crotch--so weird with the compression--it's like it pushes my labia out out of the hole. When I first put it on this morning, it wasn't that hard to get on. When I had to remove the steri-strips this afternoon at 2 p.m. and had to put it on again afterward, it was nearly impossible. If I hadn't had it on half an hour earlier, I'd have thought I'd gotten the wrong size. The size chart has me between sizes, BTW. My waist is measuring around 27.5 inches lately, while my hips are still 35.5. That's a medium up top and a small down below. So I nearly got the medium. I called and they told me to get the small, so I did. This morning, I was so glad because it fit me perfectly. Now, OMG, I can barely breathe when I lie down. I'm fine while I'm sitting or standing. And I've gotta be honest, I'm hating the bra MUCH more than the compression garment at this point. It hurts a lot more, for one. But also because I know I can take the CG off whenever I want, but the bra MUST stay on at all times.

Anyway, everything looks good otherwise--good in the sense of healthy, not in the sense of pretty ;). My newly-revealed incisions are nearly black with scab, plus the swelling above them is discolored a darker, reddish color. "Intimidating", is the word my husband used :). I feel a little down today, though I still don't regret doing this at all. I'm just getting the post-op blues. I guess it was also a little disappointing to see the incision is less healed than I'd thought it was, since it was hidden and I was feeling fine. Also, the PA said that the swelling will not go away completely until the lymphatic system is totally healed, and that takes 6-7 months. MONTHS. OMG. BUT, I just sneezed, and it was totally fine :)! Uncomfortable, but no pain!

Happy healing and happy patiently waiting, ladies!!

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Adding a few pics today. Unfortunately, most of the pics my husband took turned out super blurry. So the ones I'm uploading are not as comprehensive and are just ones I took myself. But you'll get one of the scary angle from under my boobs. Of course, all the TT pics look horrific, but it's early yet. I'm already a tiny bit swollen from sitting down for five minutes before the pics. I swell like crazy whenever I sit down. I have to say, I'm still very happy with my boobs. They look a little iffy in these pics, but I think they look better in real life. Losing the puckering in both the boobs and TT, though, will be a huge improvement.

I'm alone with the kids this week, and so far, things have gone fine. In fact, it's actually _less_ stressful
than having my mom helping. I do get more swelling, of course, but so far it's all been manageable. So, all in all, another hurdle overcome.

Happy healing and happy waiting, y'all!

OMG, WTH?? I have over 400 posts. When did that happen? #spendingtoomuchtimeonRealSelf

Saturday I went shopping for clothes. Two stores full of disappointment later, I ended up having a ball at Bebe. But only skin-tight clothes look any good. What's up with that? A few pics.

Five weeks have passed and, to no one's surprise, life has taken over and not allowed me to update much.

That said, there's not a whole lot to say :). That's a good thing. Healing is proceeding apace, with nothing particularly unexpected. The swelling has not worsened at all, so as long as I wear my compression garment all day, I don't need to sleep with it at night. When I sent my 5-week update pictures to Dr. Horndeski's office yesterday, Elisa said that she could see a little swelling still, in my midsection, and that that is totally normal. She also said, however, that it looks like we may need to do a revision on the right side of my TT, for the dog-ear there. I think it's improving, but I guess she didn't think the improvement was happening quickly enough, or in a way that bodes well. My left side is improving as well, but since the puckering was smaller on that side, it's closer to resolved.

I can stand up straight, now, and I can engage my muscles comfortably (though not without noticing it, if that makes any sense? What I mean is, it doesn't hurt, but it does burn a little, like I'm sore.) I'm working on being able to sit up from a supine position without the use of my hands or legs to get me there. I can get up just high enough to put a pillow under my head. It's okay for me to do this because of the mesh, which ensures that it's not only the medial sutures holding my abs together. I feel really strong in my core, which is strange, because I can't even sit up yet. But I know it's gonna be great once I no longer have to protect the area.

What else...oh yeah!

When I was planning for this whole thing, and I knew that I was going to be staying in a hotel, I was looking around looking for lists of essential things (as opposed to things that are helpful, or things you wish you had, or whatever,) because I had to travel light. I never did find that list, but here is what I took and used:

*My pillow.
*Prescribed pain medications and antibiotics
*Medical records required by PS/Hospital, including insurance cards, ID, Mammogram/biopsy results, required blood tests.
*Credit cards
*Vitamin supplements (after surgery) and laxatives
*One button-down shirt, for wearing home from the hospital (I bought one size larger)
*Pull-up, elastic-waist loose cotton pants (I was able to wear my regular size)
*Panties you don't mind ruining with blood/lymph (or black--I wore my black thong underwear because my granny panties interfered with my drains. I wouldn't have worn any panties, except I had my period.)
*post-op bras (I brought three and needed all three and could have used one more)
*Weather-appropriate clothing that is loose and comfortable, and some that didn't require raising arms to put on.
*Entertainment (Computer, iPad, Movies, Books)
*Digital Camera
*Food and my Blender (My diet is Special, so we had to bring a blender and some food with us cause we can't eat in restaurants. I did cook in the hotel prior to the surgery, and was able to start cooking again, slowly and carefully, at 5 days PO, if I remember correctly.)

I didn't bring a compression garment/binder because I wasn't allowed to wear one for two weeks. Your situation will likely be different in that regard.

It was not necessary to bring a pillow, but I did because I have a special pillow I love. It is, however, necessary to get lots of extras from the hotel staff. I needed exactly 8 pillows at the beginning to be comfortable: 3 under the head/back, 1 under the butt, two under the knees, and one each under my arms. Any other position was torture for me. As the pain started receding, I was able to remove one of the pillows under my head, then one from under my legs, then the butt. Then I stopped keeping track.

Obviously, I had no recliner, no hospital bed, no toilet riser, etc. I needed help to get out of bed and get back into bed for the first two days. I needed help walking to the toilet. I did not need help sitting or getting up from the toilet. I needed help to reposition myself in bed the slightest amount. I needed help arranging my pillows. By day 4 or 5, I could do that myself.

I could not stay awake long enough to partake in any entertainment until day 3 PO.

I didn't eat any meals for the first two days post op. Only drank water sparingly and with my meds. I tried to eat a little apple sauce but I couldn't stand the sweetness. By day 3 I was able to eat a little quinoa with cashew milk, but by the next day, I was only interested in eating my green stew. For every meal, I ate about half a cup. My PS said not to worry about eating at all, but to make sure I kept drinking. And practicing my breathing exercises every 2 hours, because of the pain meds. It took about two days before my bowels started moving at about half-pace. I did not need laxatives, though I did bring them.

That's all I can think of for now.

By now, I have completely forgotten the pain. I have no idea what it was like, and would happily go through it all again tomorrow if I had to. Just like childbirth, actually. At the time, I insisted to my husband it was worse than childbirth, and I did that at home, in my bed, without pain medication. So I definitely felt pain. But since I can't remember the pain of childbirth either, who knows ;). It was bad, and Post-op pain was bad, too. But childbirth pain was over after 17.5 hours. This pain lasted 3 days. I'll let you decide for yourselves ;).

I sent pictures of my breasts at 5 weeks to Dr. Lauren Greenberg, who was one of the PSs I interviewed prior to choosing Dr. Horndeski. I was really impressed with her and would have chosen her, but Dr. H's proprietary approach blew me away, so I decided to take a chance on it. Dr. Greenberg expressed an interest in seeing the results, which I found extremely impressive as well, and showed her passion for learning. Anyway, she wants to see the 3 Months PO results, so I assume that some settling is common in most Breast Lift patients by then. So I'll definitely be looking out for changes by that point :D. Dr. H says the results will be robust and I believe him, so I'm very excited to see what my boobs look like at 3 months!

That's it for this week--I'm thinking next week, week six, will be my last time doing weekly picture updates. Mainly because things just aren't changing that fast anymore, and because I don't want to fill up RealSelf with my pictures. I'll likely go to either bi-weekly or monthly, depending on how fast things change.

Happy continued healing, all, and patiently waiting, for those who are still doing that.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Today makes 6 weeks post op for me. I weighed 126 lbs. this morning, which means I'm hovering about 2 pounds under my pre-op weight (which is about right for what the PS said he removed--about 2 pounds,) though I was gaining weight (mostly muscle) at that time so I was probably up to 130 by the time of the Op. I am also losing lots of muscle, I assume, so I think I've gained a bit of fat. I forgot to take my measurements this morning, but maybe I'll remember tomorrow.

Life has essentially returned to normal, with the large exceptions having to do in the physical activity department. It is still painful for me to jog even a little, mostly in my hip flexors and lower abs. Also, I am not yet allowed to work out. At two months, I can go back to the gym, but no arm workouts until 3 months, and I think I'm supposed to go light. I'll revisit that with the PS's office at that time. I have been carefully lifting my two smallest children because I have no choice, but I avoid it. I still go very slow when lifting my arms over my head as well.

Tonight will be my first night sleeping in a bralette instead of a real bra. I am so excited! No underwire tonight, and since I don't sleep in a CG, it'll be my first truly unencumbered night. Can't wait! Except that, of course, my littlest has the worst cold she's had in half a year at least, and that means that neither of us will do much sleeping tonight. This is the third night, by the way. I am so scared that the exhaustion is going to mean I get sick, too. I hate being sick and having to take care of sick kids at the same time. I have no patience and everything seems like crawling uphill.

This weekend, my husband and I finally tested out the plumbing, as it were, together. Worked like a charm! Felt a little uncomfortable in the lower abdominal area, but I also couldn't use my normal position either, since I can't squish my boobs for the first year. Having a lifted pubic area didn't help that much, but it certainly didn't hurt, and not having lost sensation in other vital areas was a huge boon. So, all-in-all, I think he's thoroughly happy with his investment. :D. He even likes the CG, so I didn't even remove it. Craziness!

Okay, that's it for now. I've added my six-week pictures!

Love to all you ladies, happy healing and good lucks all around!

Today makes 2 months post-op for me. Time has both flown and stood still--it's a strange phenomenon, but not one I'm unfamiliar with.

As far as the surgery goes, I still feel it was absolutely worth the money, time, pain, and everything. Even those times where I feel like the results aren't that great, I still can see that I look waaaaay better than I did before. I've been very depressed lately, and I still feel like the surgery was worth it. I'm basically back up to my pre-op weight, but I sure don't look it! I look great! So it's hard to stay upset with my weight when I look good. I took my eldest daughter to see Lion King in San Francisco a couple of days ago, and wore one of my new Bebe dresses, and even without a compression garment, I felt long and lean and knew there were no bumps or bulges anywhere, except for just above my hip-bones, where I carry a lot of swelling still. But that just makes me look thinner anyway. I looked great even swollen. So that was fabulous.

I am not back to normal, and I am not back to working out. I am going to the gym tomorrow, but technically I'm not supposed to do very much. I have to wait one more month before I can work upper body, but I will do some cardio and so legs and see how I feel. If I swell, I have to step back a bit :(. We'll see how it goes.

Mainly, I'd say that the rest of my life is far more difficult than this recovery. My kids have been seen for over a month, with one cold after another, and now Chicken Pox (that's a good thing, at least--the Chicken Pox). And I have been dealing with rectal bleeding for a couple of months. I felt leery of posting it, because we do not know what it is, yet. All I know is that it's not hemorrhoids or anal fissures, because the doctor checked for that. So now I have a colonoscopy scheduled for January 16th. The stress is killing me :(. I have headaches every single day, my stomach is always upset, and I know that I need to relax, because most conditions of the stomach and that region are exacerbated by stress. But I just can't stop. And every time I go number 2, which is several times/day, I see the blood and think about it. It's not a lot of blood, thankfully, and it's not black, so it's probably just polyps or something. But telling myself is not helping. Oh well.

I am posting pics of my 2-month post-op self. That is a positive note to end on! Happy healing and good luck out there!

Okay, sorry everyone. I just reposted 6 week pics instead of 2 month pics. I'm going to ask if it's possible to take those down. Either way, I'll post the others after I find that out :). I don't want to max out yet another quota for nothing!

Short update: After my workout Monday, I realized I wasn't stinky. For the first time since this surgery. My hormones have evened out!!! I'm also much happier and get fewer headaches. And I'm feeling okay abt the colonoscopy, mostly thanks to the number of pple on here who've gone through it and know others who have and everyone says it's not a big deal :D. I worked out Wed as well, all cardio and abs. Mon was legs and abs. I go back tomorrow again if the kids let me :D.

Good night, all, happy healing and waiting and good luck!

Exhaused and drugged post colonoscopy. Verdict: proctitis. No word on cause, but go back in two weeks for followup. No polyps! Looked clean and smooth and shiny in there!

Naptime!

I am now...11 weeks, 5 days PO. I will be posting new pictures in 10 days, at the 3 month PO mark. So exciting! But for now, a general update without pictures.

My healing is continuing, and the hyperpigmentation surrounding my scars has diminished somewhat. My dog-ears are still present, though they have gotten smaller.

The main change re. my Mommy Makeover is that I have started exercising again. I've been back at the gym for three weeks, though I've been limited to lower body and ab workouts. This means I've only been going three days/week, instead of five. I've been working myself back up on the squat rack (I wasn't very advanced on this, so I'm nearly back up to speed,) and I'm back up to speed on deadlifts, another thing I wasn't very advanced with. My flexibility has suffered tremendously, though, which means that my running has also suffered. I'm not a distance runner, and have never been able to do more than six miles at a time, and even that with a great deal of post-run injuries. But I love doing high-intensity intervals (sprints). I was doing six 11 mph sprints for 35 seconds or so regularly, sometimes going up to 12 mph. Now I've just finally gotten myself back up to 10 mph, and I have some knee pain, because of my lack of flexibility.

As far as ab exercises go, I am nearly a cripple. I can't do one sit-up. I can't even do one crunch. The pain is too much for me. So I've been doing supine leg-lifts, hanging (vertical) knee-lifts, Russian twists, and other remedial ab exercises. They are all painful, but at least they're possible. The deadlifts and squats also work core, of course, but I have enough strength to do that stuff.

Upper body exercises of more than 30 pounds are supposed to wait for the 3 month mark, but I've been doing some remedial upper body work in preparation for that. I've done some push-ups with my upper body raised to hip level, as well as some assisted pull-ups (no more than 50 pounds). I've had to lift my children, so I figured the 30 pound restriction was busted anyway. But I haven't lifted anything heavier than them.

My swelling continues about the same as it has been since I started working out again, and that is somewhat worse than it was before I started working out. I wear my compression garment during my workouts (despite the fact that it makes breathing on the treadmill rather difficult) and on really bad days, I wear Spanx to bed and sleep in those. It doesn't make a whole lot of difference, though. The day of a workout, I swell a lot (for me), but by the next workout day, it's gone down enough that I can work out again. I am working out Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Unfortunately, I've continued gaining weight, which isn't that unusual for me. I tend to gain weight, then go insane and portion control until I'm back down again, then gain weight again. This is despite an excellent diet. Unlike a lot of people, I never go off my diet. I always eat only whole foods--meaning lots of veggies, some fruit, some nuts and seeds, no sugar, no salt, no free oils. The good news is that I went to the dermatologist, who prescribed Retin-A Micro, and it WORKS!! I have been able to add beans and whole grains back into my diet without getting a lot of acne. So now I am much less hungry all the time. Of course, I am also up to 20% body fat. Because that is a healthy level of body fat, I am trying not to worry so much about it, now that I still have a flat stomach and nice boobs :D.

The bad news is this whole thing with the rectal bleeding. The medication I was prescribed--Canasa suppositories--has been working. It's an anti-inflammatory. The bleeding has been lessening significantly. I only see blood after my first BM of the day now, instead of after the first three. I am still having 3 or 4 BMs per day. I don't know if this is really normal or slightly high. Sometimes I only have two--today I might only have 2, but probably 3. Yesterday I had 4. So it's going in the right direction, I think. I feel a little dumb updating at this point, because I haven't gotten a diagnosis from the doctor yet as to what is _causing_ this proctitis. It might be Inflammatory Bowel Disease. But it'd be nice if it were something else. :). The dietary modifications for IBD are...more restrictive than I'm currently willing to contemplate in the long-term. Like I'd be really sad if I could no longer eat beans, now that I'm finally able to eat them again. There's definitely no gluten-containing grains allowed, though. And even though I've lived without wheat for a long time, it was only for acne's sake, and now that that's no longer an issue....well it would have been nice if I could eat wheat again. Blah.

The other thing I wonder if anyone here can help me with, though--the Retin-A, it makes my skin so sensitive I can't go out in the sun AT ALL without covering my face. I have to wear a hat and a face mask. I get burned in five minutes. Does this calm down at all?? My husband hates that I look like I'm wearing a hijab every time we go outside. I don't personally mind most of the time, since people always go out of their way to try not to stare and are very nice; but it'd be nice if I could wear a bikini without a face mask--that's just silly-looking.

Okay, I hope everyone else is doing great, and I look forward to posting my 3-month pictures! Maybe I'll get some good news from the gastroenterologist on Wednesday and I'll post again :D.

Dear RealSelf family! I am 3 months, 2 days post op today.

Not a lot has changed. The dog ears have diminished more, but not disappeared. The sutures have not yet dissolved. I have one area of hyperpigmentation that is actually IN my scar, as opposed to above and below it. That is in my TT scar, and I pointed it out in my pictures.

My breasts have gotten soft now, though they're still firm. They just feel natural. And no, you cannot feel the internal bra, neither the coning nor the straps. So that's fantastic. I love my breasts. They're not perfect, but they look it in clothes. The imperfections are all tiny things, like areola shape and dog ears. They are all fixable via revision, if I feel like it. I'll probably get the lateral dog-ears fixed, but that's likely it.

My Ulcerative Proctitis calmed down and stopped bleeding, so after a few extra days of medication, I stopped taking the medication. The blood came back. So...yeah, next time, follow the doctor's instructions better. I am supposed to wait a full week before stopping the meds, but I didn't, because I hate taking drugs. I haven't started up the meds again yet, either, because I'm kind of hoping it'll stop on its own. That is stupid, but I haven't given up that hope yet. I figure another week.

I also started taking a high-dose probiotic supplement called VSL#3, and juicing greens, based on Dr. Fuhrman's recommendations. And while I love both (the pro-biotic tastes like brewer's yeast, and the juice tastes green--I love anything that tastes so healthy it makes most people cringe,) my body's reaction has been immediate and STRONG. After two days of this, I got a yeast infection. Usually, yeast infections last a couple of weeks for me and sometimes I need to take meds to make it go away. This one lasted for exactly 2 days. The next day, I got what felt like a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI). But this only lasted one day. And then I got some kind of stomach thing, where it felt like I stopped digesting my food, horrible gas, nausea. And the next day, in addition to the stomach thing, I got a terrible migraine. That was 3 days ago, now. I am still having weird things with my stomach, and I've, of course, started bleeding again, as I mentioned, but I haven't had any other strange symptoms. So that was an adventure!

On Monday, I started working out arms again for real. I've been working out lower body for a month, now. I'm nearly back up to where I was pre-op on the squat rack. Five more pounds. I'm back up in dead lifts. My endurance is lower. I am finally able to do crunches with my arms crossed in front of me. It is very difficult and extremely uncomfortable. I can do 3 sets of 12 and am exhausted from the pain of it. On my last pre-op fitness test, I did 69 crunches in one minute. So yeah, a long way to go. I've also gained at least 3% body fat, according to the automatic tester. I haven't had the courage to sign up for another fitness assessment, yet. Even though the tester knows that I've had the op and all. The fact that I haven't been able to do one single push-up from the floor has made me too embarrassed to sign up :(. I did 40 girlie push-ups at my last assessment. I honestly don't know if I could do 10 now :(. Oh well. Keep working!! I am up to 4 days/week, now. I'd like to stay at that level for a while, but I might move back up to 5 or 6, depending on how much weight I gain. I like doing 4 days/week, because then I have two days of upper body and two days of lower body. When I do 5 days, I have 3 days of upper body. And when I do 6 days, I use the last day as an all-round day. But I don't think my body could recover from that at this point. So we'll stick with 4 days/week for a while.

I can't think of anything else right now. I hope everyone out there is doing great, that your healing is coming along as well as possible, that complications are to a minimum, and that those waiting are excited but not stressed, and mentally prepared for what is to come!

Hugs to all....

I wore a tube top today, for the first time in my life! Yes, I know it's February, but it was sunny and a warmish 60 degrees F in the sun. It was only 50 in the shade, but such is NOCAL weather. Pics.

Happy healing, y'all! And good luck to those next on the chopping block!

My 4-month mark was this past Wednesday, but my kids have been passing around some terrible virus, and since I have been sleep deprived and have my period, I have now caught it. So my update pics will have to wait until I'm no longer menstruating.

The good news is that I can get rid of some of that swelling I complained about by wearing my CG. The next morning, the swelling is much better, though it starts coming back within a few hours. It gets less severe if I wear the CG. So I do that most days.

The other good news is that I was able to do one unassisted pull-up from a 2x4 beam on my kids' swingset today. Progress! I need to get a portable pull up bar. Any suggestions?

Also, while crunches are still very painful, I'm up to 34 in one minute. Very happy abt that!

Bad news is I've continued to gain weight. 133 and about 19% body fat. I would prefer 15% but am unlikely to get there, since I eat healthy food but also too much of it. Right now my legs are so huge for me. My CG has gotten tight in the legs. Before, the legs were too big to grab onto my skin in order to stay down. Now they dig in and show the line through my pants. I feel like the hulk, busting through my clothes, only not from muscles.

I still don't regret this, even when I'm really depressed from my period, which I was last week. So that's good. Will try to post new pics next week. Wish I'd been taking back and full body shots consistently to document the pattern of weight gain. It settles inmy back, face, and thighs now. Not on the stomach at all. So weird.

Good night!

Just a quick note. I'll update at 5 months, but I'm back down to about 124 lbs. so I'm just adding a couple of pics to show the difference 9 pounds makes. XOXOXO

Oh my dearest lovelies. What a long, strange trip it's been! (No, I'm not a Grateful Dead fan.) Today makes 5 months, 1 week and 1 day post op. I'm uploading pictures from my 5 month day exactly--it's just taken a while for me to download the pics from my camera. In the pictures, I weigh about 124 pounds and I'm about 1 pound over that now, so no significant difference. If I get up over 127, I start looking different and I don't like it. But the way I look now, I LOVE. I wear elegant, form-fitting clothes now, instead of just yoga pants and a t-shirt with a jacket on all the time. I still can't find regular clothes (mostly pants) that fit me, even after this. The combination of my low butt (you can see my butt through my crotch area a little) and my large pubic mound, pants are just too tight in the crotch, or they're too big. Also, they're always too short unless there's a long size, which they often don't make in a size 2. For tops, the sleeves are usually too short. And I'm only 5'8", so it's really because my proportions are unusual. Anyway, I found this designer/store called Angelrox, and their stuff is just perfect for me, both style-wise and size-wise, so I'm just replacing my enitre wardrobe with her collection, as money allows. The combination of Roxi's clothes and Dr. Horndeski's surgical skill, I'm so completely, totally happy with the way I look now. And it has translated into a happiness in every part of my life. It makes every day easier! Luckily, my birthday is coming up on Wednesday (38!!) so I've been using that as an excuse to buy clothes ;).

As for the physical, I am still swelling a lot. By the end of the evening I'm 1-2 inches larger than I am in the morning. I am working out 4 days/week and that's about all I can handle. I'm only up to 2 or 3 pull-ups (unassisted) but that's better than nothing! And my squat is not improving as quickly as it was before I took all that time off. But my ab work is getting better and less painful (still painful, but less.) I can do straight-legged supine leg-lifts with my hands on my belly now, and that's a huge improvement. I don't do real sit-ups, but I am capable now. And I'm up to an 85# dead lift. So things are moving ahead. My scars on my breasts are fading nicely. The scar on my TT is getting darker and darker, so not fading. I don't know how much better it'll get, but even the way it is, it's worth it. I still have dog ears at the end of each incision, so 6 of them. Three are disappearing nicely, three are not. I will probably get a revision within the year, but I'm not in a real hurry. It's expensive to make the trip, and I'll have to go by myself because of that. So I want to let it heal as much as possible first and maybe go to Sugar Land at the lowest season (I'm guessing high summer would be the best time pricewise. Ugh.) I'm not looking forward to it because I don't enjoy the stress of travel on a tight time-frame and I'd probably have to fly in in the morning, have the revision, then fly home the same day, in order to save money.

Not sure what else to say. Life is pretty great and I love my new body. I take care of it the best I can, and enjoy it as much as possible! Will update when I think of something else.

My six month mark came and went a week ago, and while I took pictures, I've been too busy to post. My eldest's sixth birthday is coming up and the party is on Saturday. I've been sewing up a storm, building a piñata, and trying recipes. Can't wait till it's over! But I'll post a couple of photos of me now. I'm back up to 130, unfortunately, but I look okay. I just look less pretty in my face and thicker all over, but I'm stronger too. I can do unsupported dips now, for the first time in my life. Soon I'll start rope training. So excited.

As far as the healing, it continues. I'm still numb but the scars are improving. Still have dog ears. Much less swelling now, if any. Still love my boobs! Would still do it all again. The pain has completely disappeared from memory.