I recently lost weight and the only thing I miss about those 20 pounds is my boobs. Like so many women on here I started waiting for my breasts to come in at the age of 12...and kept waiting. When I was heavier I had cleavage if I tried, but now I have nothing.
I have done an intense amount of research and I have tentatively decided on Allergan Natrelle 410 "gummy bear" or "highly cohesive" implants. I am trying to figure out the right size but my main consideration is that they look natural and that they do as little damage as possible to my body long term. I am considering anywhere from 220ccs to 330ccs.
Some of my main worries are 1. being able to breastfeed later because I haven't had kids yet 2. being able to forget they are there and just feel like they are a part of me (has anyone on here had trouble with this even after they are fully healed? I'd love to hear it).
A couple other worries: I am afraid to tell my mom because I'm afraid she will judge me and disapprove of the money spent and what it "represents." It seems unfair that women who have great breasts (my mom has full, natural Cs that stayed perky after childbirth) should judge. Then again, maybe she would be understanding. My other fear is really wacky...because I know how much my boyfriend will like them, I sometimes worry that part of me finds that too persuasive. I have a lot of philosophical worries in that area. But when I think about it clearly I know that I'd be doing it for me...because I want to look sexy and look like my "best."
Anyways just wanted to go ahead and start telling my story. I'd LOVE to hear from other women who are getting or who already have Natrelle 410s.
I have a consultation set up in a few weeks. Will post more after that!
4 Mo. Boobiversary NEW PICS. Loving life as a 34D. [310 ccs sientra anatomic textured silicone (5'4'' 128 lbs, 28 yrs, no kids)]
I recently lost weight and the only thing I miss...
I recently lost weight and the only thing I miss about those 20 pounds is my boobs. Like so many women on here I started waiting for my breasts to come in at the age of 12...and kept waiting. When I was heavier I had cleavage if I tried, but now I have nothing.
Have been looking at so many pictures of boobs...
Post Consultation. Excitement + Anxiety Setting in...I made a surgery date
Met the doctor--he was great. But I think I might have freaked him out a bit with all my questions and the fact that I've done as much research as possible...I'm a law student what can I say, I took it to the next level. By the time I dropped the words "fourth intercostal nerve" and asked him to give me medical detail about how he minimizes bleeding, I think he was like my god, this one is going to be a handful.
I was really disappointed that they didn't tell me that the 3d imaging wasn't available, and also they only had one sample implant of the two sizes for me to try--I would have liked to have two (I mean who can visualize with just one boob?). Also I wanted to see more variety in the sizes that I could try on.
The doctor took my measurements and without hesitation proclaimed that 320cc was his recommendation. I was shocked and taken aback, honestly, because I had in my mind that in no circumstance should I go over 300. Right now I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it and it's causing me a lot of anxiety. I feel like I need to know more about WHY he thinks I need that size. He said I have a wide ribcage and wide breasts (12mm I think). So maybe that's it. Bottom line I need to meet with him again before surgery (Set for Sept. 10!! omg!!).
He also said 280 would be ok...I'm just so uncertain. I want them to look full and beautiful, but I don't want to feel too heavy or chesty. I don't want to be bulky or obvious. But I do want cleavage. Ahhh it is such a hard decision. Also we had a debate about the merits of MM vs. FM. I really think FM (full height) is prettier from most of the pictures I've seen. But he initially recommended MM for me. But then I said I like FM and he immediately switched and said I should go FM and that I have the same "aesthetic" as him. Ummm ok. F*ck. Don't know what to do ladies!
Think I'm going to try to set up at least one more consultation, perhaps locally here in Utah or maybe in Colorado. It's just so hard to find doctors who are on my wavelength and understand that I want subtle and natural, not big and round.
Thinking and Obsessing
posting a new "wish" pic
Natural looking 300 CCs, two more months to go + Changed My Mind Again
I've basically decided against the 410s at this point. I became convinced that they might be a tradeoff in terms of how they feel--they are very firm, and my concern is that they will never feel like a "part of me." Also I love to lie on my stomach and so I want a squishier implant to make that feel as normal as possible.
To that end I've now decided to get the Sientra anatomical classic base. I think the 310 size will be right for me but I'm concerned because it has a width of 11.5 whereas my bwd is 12.5. Yet the 350, which would match my bwd, just seemed too big and bulky when I held it and tried it on at the Doctor's office. I don't want to be carrying around 700 total CCs of silicone inside my for the rest of my life. 620 seems much more do-able. :) Certainly it's less heavy. The bwd thing is obsessively worrying me though. I do not understand why sientra has such a tiny range of size options. I mean, can't they just manufacture more options? Natrelle has SOO many. sigh.
I want to just do the surgery tomorrow but unfortunately I have to wait as my surgeon is getting surgery, and I have other committments in the meantime.
Posting two more pics, one before and one with rice sizers of 300cc.
Any thoughts on the anatomical Sientra implant greatly appreciated.
Found my Doctor! Now to Schedule the Surgery!
I decided on the classic base, 310 cc sientra anatomical implant. the 350 looked good too but I want to err on the side of too small rather than too big. My new doc totally understood and made me immediately love him by saying "yep, you can always make small breasts look bigger but you can't make large ones look smaller." We're on the same page! yay! I also LOVED the vectra imaging. I feel so much better about it, not scared that I'll come out looking like a porn star. I think I want to schedule the surgery for the end of this month because I'm so eager, even though a better time would probably be September. But I don't want to wait!
set my surgery date officially.
Surgery Date Debate
freaking out-- anxious-- what if I'm making a mistake?
I've been kind of freaking out ever since I put down my $250 deposit to secure my surgery date of September 10th. I've been thinking about this seriously for 8 months. I know I've always been dissatisfied with my breasts, I know I hate their shape, so why am I suddenly so uncertain? I wake up at night just filled with uncertainty and dread... like what if I hate them? What if they feel weird and I never get used to them? Change is so scary. I mean, I've had these tiny boobs since I was 15 years old...they've always been good to me. Why do I want to make them different? I'm so afraid of people judging me, especially my family. I want to just forget about what 'other people think' and do what I WANT; but yet it's tormenting me to think that my family will disapprove of the new look, think i'm vain/superficial or think I wasted money. I'm also afraid that everyone will think my boyfriend pressured me to do it. I mean, I know he will like them a lot, but that's not WHY I'm doing it. Of course I want him to enjoy my appearance, but I know he loves me the way I am. Even if we break up one day after surgery I'll be happy I got them (won't I??).
I think it boils down to my greatest fear is 1. I won't like myself with bigger boobs, they will be annoying or uncomfortable and 2. people will judge me and look down on me.
My boyfriend is being so supportive. He makes sure I know that he doesn't care whether I get them or not. His eyes do have a certain excited glimmer in them when I talk about the new size though. I know he's going to like it a lot. That's not why I'm getting them, but I like thinking that it will be exciting for both of us.
Oh and he decided to buy me (us) a puppy today. :) I'm in a good mood! t-minus 22 days.
still very back and forth but I'm determined to go forward
I can't believe it's only 10 days away. We're going to california for a wedding and then the surgery is the day after we get back!! ahh!
pre op tomorrow; feeling such bad jitters and doubts
So if anyone's awake and on the 'other side' -- can you tell me; what does it feel like to lie on your stomach with 300 cc silicone implants?
also i think i'm just overthinking everything; but has anyone else fretted about what we're going to do at the age of like, 65? I mean, will I just get them removed? Won't it be weird to be a super perky large busted grandma? My boyfriend just said, why the hell are you worrying about that? you have 35 years to figure that out. I guess so but what can I say, I like to consider all possibilities.
My pre-op is tomorrow, i have so much to ask Dr. Yates. Wish me luck.
OMFG I paid in full. It's happening in a week!
However, I did have some crazy boob nightmares last night. In one of them, the doctor had put two implants in each of my breasts. I was looking at them in the mirror, horrified...I could move them around and they were huge. (weird part; I liked the size even as I was freaked out and upset that there were four total...haha). Then suddenly one of the implants plunged down into my stomach area when I raised my arm...I was looking at it like what. the. hell. So weird!! I think my brain is trying to work out the idea that in 4 days I'm going to have a different looking body. It's actually really surreal when I think about it. If I think too much about it I can start to freak myself out again. So my current goal is to just relax, not think about everything, and just move forward toward my B-day (boob day).
It went well they said!
Well I'm in some pain but hopefully the percocet kicks in. It wasn't bad at first but it's been increasing
1. I went with the SIENTRA Classic Base, shaped anatomical implant at 310ccs. This implant is 11.5 cm wide and 12.5 tall. It is textured.
2. I had IV sedation plus local numbing at the site. I do not remember a thing and it was nice being totally numbed when I woke up. Although it did kind of hurt my arm as the anesthesia was being put it, but no big deal at all.
3. The hardest part was when I was in the patient room waiting, before the valium kicked in. I'm so anxious and when I get like that I go into panic mode and I even started breathing heavy and tearing up. The other hardest part was going into the OR. It's so scary looking in there. I had to lie down and they were telling me everything they were doing and I was just so scared. They could tell I was scared and had to tell me to take deep breaths.
4. Now I am sitting upright in bed. The pain has steadily increased since I left the surgery facility. However honestly just this minute i started to feel better and my eyes are losing focus; I think the percocet is really kicking in.
That's all for now. here's some pics.
Cuddle buddy, extremely attentive boyfriend, and pain subsiding
SUMMARY OF SURGERY EXPERIENCE (sorry if some is repetitive).
Drove 45 minutes to the the office, was worried we'd be late and miss the surgery. Felt kind of irritated at the boyfriend for no good reason, just angst and nerves. After we arrived I confirmed that I wanted the Sientra 310. went in to a patient room with the nurse. She talked to me, took my blood pressure, asked some questions about allergies and whether I'd eaten. I probably looked totally stricken cause she asked "are you nervous" and i just squeaked out "yes". Then she gave me a valium(5/325) and two anti nausea pills (zofran) when i started getting panicked. Then She went away and I waited with my BF in the exam room for a while, he was just patting my leg and squeezing my shoulders to calm me down. Then the anesthesiologist came in and i immediately thought he seemed great (ok so, being that i'm a JD and have seen some fucked up medical malpractice cases I was watching this guy like a hawk to see if he looked high, or like he's been sampling his own wares...but he was totally lucid.). He asked if I had any questions so I asked him how long he's been doing this type of anesthesia. He said 6 years and 2.5 years with my doctor, so that set me at ease. (Doubt he has a lot of patients come at him hard like that but what can I say, i wanted to know! haha).
Then when he left we waited a while longer (15 mins?) and the doctor came in. He seemed so calm and confident as usual; love that guy. He started marking me with a sharpie and explained how he was going to slightly fix this area of asymmetry in my lower left breast. Note: I was feeling pretty good by this point as the valium had kicked in. While waiting with my boyfriend I even started laughing and joking around.
Valium or not though, when they walked me into the OR I started to freak out. I laid down on the table (lights were shining down on me and i could see all the machines and instruments). I closed my eyes and was just breathing really heavy. As per my usual I think I freaked the doctors out a bit; they're like "are you ok" and i'm muttering "yes" and desperately trying to calm my breathing. Then he put in the IV; it kinda started to hurt up my arm.
The next thing I knew I was lying in another room with my boyfriend beside me. I felt really weird and shaky. See the above post for details. Apparently it took almost exactly 45 minutes from passing out to waking up.
So that was it! Now I'm lying here still, about to take a second valium cause for some reason I haven't slept much.
Here's some new pics without the surgical bra, and also a picture of my lovely cat who purred beside me to make me feel better. :)
side views-- left one looks and feels better
Today was so hard
Then all hell broke loose. Literally as we were getting back from the appointment (a 45 minute drive from my house); they started hurting really really bad. Especially the left one. We went to walmart and I was going to grab some bras but i started to just get exhausted and just grabbed what i saw and got the f___ out of there. But not before having terrible diahrrea in the bathroom. Which was weird, too, because I thought most girls get constipated after surgery. Bottom line I was feeling really off. So I got home and looked at my breasts and the left one (which had previously been the softer, lower, normal looking one, again see the pics I posted yesterday) suddenly had swollen to a HUGE size. LIke it was SO high and tight, it grew double the size. And it was extremely close to my collarbone, like spongebob squareboob big time. This all happened in the course of about 40 minutes because it looked perfect at my appointment. So naturally I started to freak the F* * * out. I showed my BF and he agreed that it looked much, much different and he was scared too. It didn't make sense to either of us that it would go from normal to massive/high in that amount of time. SO I called the office and they said "text the pics to your doctor". So I did. No immediate response. In total panic mode I demanded that we make the 45minute trip back up to the office. As we're leaving, about to get on the freeway I decide to call the office again. The receptionist nurse is like "oh yeah the doctor said just to watch it and call him if it gets worse." I was not in the state to deal with that. I was just totally getting hysterical and I told her this is NOT NORMAL, it hurts, I'm scared, I feel like something is wrong. Then I started crying and couldn't talk, so I handed the phone to my BF and he basically told them we're coming in. (side note he then later got mad at me for freaking out like that and lectured me that I need to stay calmer which turned into a bit of a fight between us but we resolved it soon enough). But I digress.
So the doctor saw me immediately and agreed that the left breast looked way different and not good. He didn't think it was hematoma but suggested maybe a muscle spasm. He was very calming and sweet so that helped me a lot. I also appreciated that he took me seriously and saw me immediately. He sent me home with instructions to monitor it closely and he even put me on the surgery schedule for tomorrow in case its a hematoma or something drastic. Whew.
So it's been like 7 hours since then and while the left one is still higher and more swollen than it had been initially, i think it's getting better. I feel optimistic that it's going to be ok.
God I know I'm a basket case sometimes but this was such a weird thing...like I was ready to have a high tight breast, but I wasn't expecting it to go from normal looking to high and tight and huge in the space of like 30 minutes. I seriously convinced myself that my breast was about to explode. lol/ugh. But it didn't. Moral of the story--stay calm. don't freak out like I did. I think it's going to be ok but HOLY CRAP today was a hard day.
As soon as I got back from that ordeal I took two percocet, some advil, and passed out. No more avoiding medicine for me--F* * * * the natural method...i'm using these narcotics until I feel better, end of story!!
here's some pics to show you how freaky it got
oh yeah, the swollen left breast seems to have resolved
Muscles feeling better, slept a lot today
Ps Valium is a lifesaver. I highly recommend demanding it for your post op!!
New pics, end of day 2
no more percocet
Some positive news: I LOVE LOVE LOVE them. They look great. I'm not going to be at all sad if they go down a bit in size, but even if they stay this big it'll be ok. Here's a picture.
one more pic
In an old bra day 4
Today I felt pretty good. Walked to a street fair. Ran into a work colleague, I swear her eyes darted to my chest a couple times.
My main issue is intense shooting pain from my nerves, especially I'm the right breast. It's the worst when I stand up after lying down. It's so bad but I've developed some ways of lessening it- basically I try to slowly stretch that whole side before getting up. It doesn't always work. Right now I'm icing. Oh and I sort of fit into my old 34B bra! Yay! I was so scared of being too big. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up a 34C
I feel awful, nauseous and belly pain
post op blues?
I am suddenly just feeling so down. Everyone is going to watch the broncos game and I just don't want to go, i don't want to do anything. I think I thought the pain would be over by now, I guess that was really unrealistic. I just have this aching stabbing pain in both breasts and I can't ignore it. I feel so alone, I
Time for the ladies to meet the world!!
One more - side boob shot
How Do you tell people?
Any insight? I haven't told soooo many key people including my entire family, my best friends from childhood, my boyfriend's parents don't know...umm a lot of my current work and school friends. What to do??
Improvements (less pain, softening) + challenges (having a cold, aunt flow)
I've been fighting off a cold, which means for the past five days I've been coughing. Coughing and sneezing hurt when your whole chest is sore. But it's really not that bad anymore (The pain...not the coughing...i'm still coughing a lot, boo).
I had my first drink last night, i've been avoiding drinking to detox, heal, and because i've been taking a lot of tylenol and ibuprofen. I kept it to 1.5 drinks last night so hopefully I didn't mess up my liver too badly.
I've been taking lots of probiotics, the pineapple enzyme supplement from Trader Joes, and I finally found a natural supplement store and got some oral Arnica, which I took all day yesterday. It's helping. What isn't helping is that I started my period yesterday, which means my breasts got even more swollen. It felt like a step backwards but I reminded myself my breasts pre-op would get tender and firm before and during my period, too.
Can't Believe It's Been Two Weeks!
I still haven't tried lying on my stomach. Things are great!
Oh I did have one kind of disappointed moment last night when I put on my old 34B bra and my left boob seemed to fit it perfectly. I feel ridiculous for saying this because I was convinced I'd never wish I went bigger....but I hope I'm not just a B. I really had my heart set on C. Oh well, they obviously look much bigger, and my BF reminds me that I said I wanted "big B to small C". So I think I got what I wanted! I guess many women have that little voice that says "wow these look great but wouldn't they have looked great just a little bit bigger? I mean you paid all that money, maybe you should have gone with the 350!" sigh. Silencing that voice now. I'm so happy with them, leave it to me to find something to be picky about. And they aren't done settling. ON the plus side I think they will be very easy to hide if I want to.
pics not working...hold on
So what else is new? I showed them to my roommate & 3 close girlfriends last night. Everyone seemed pleasantly surprised at how natural they look. One girl admitted that AG had been worried about me doing it but she said she was glad I was happy and that they looked good.
I'm still getting twinges of pain on the right side towards the base. I did a fast mile and a half walk last night- it felt good to be outside. I miss running so much. I hope I can start again after the 3 week mark.
I felt really low yesterday because sometimes the pain & discomfort wear on me. 2 weeks seems like a long time to be feeling pain and have restricted activity. But I know it will pass, and each day it gets better.
I have really weird dreams on my back and wake up more often so I can't wait to sleep on my tummy again.
I really want to go get measured for my bra size- I wonder if it's too soon. (Too soon to get an accurate size, I know I'm not supposed to wear underwire yet).
Not feeling great
I sometimes have been getting this different type of pain in righty, like a twisting achy spasm feeling towards the bottom. Not sure if its nerves or what. I've been driving stick w my right hand for the past four days so maybe that's aggravating it. Also I'm not sleeping well on my back so maybe that's messing up my mood.
3 week post op on Monday. Looking forward to being more active.
Feeling so good
3 weeks post op appointment! And no more steri strips
Oh and I stopped at athleta to get a sports bra (I've been cleared to do "light jogging" whatever that is). And I'm a 34c there! Just the size I wanted! And I could help get a new shirt too. :) pics to come later tonight
1. nerve pain and morning boob-- just ow.
2. adjusting to looking different, some moments when I look in the mirror and wonder if they look too wide, or putting on a shirt that doesn't fit anymore, or looking at the asymmetry they have which is not fixable by implants, wondering if they're too pointy
3. they feel weirdly hard on the bottom. I don't like feeling the implant. The top feels squishy but when I touch the base I can feel the firmness of an object in there and it kind of gives me a little bit of the heebie jeebies.
4. Just got into a huge fight with a girl I thought was my best friend here. She and her boyfriend took the liberty of informing a group of people that I'd had the operation. The people they told are friendly with me but not close; also they let someone know who has a huge mouth and I believe many people in, if not the whole professional community (which is small and close-knit) might now find out. I'm more angry about her betrayal than anything else, but I'm also upset because I don't feel like the status of my breasts should be known to those I"m trying to WORK with. Call me crazy but I'd rather not walk into court with an opposing counsel, a judge, and a client, who are all aware of and possibly eyeing my (albeit amazing) rack. Or even who are simply judging me about doing cosmetic surgery. This situation has really caused me a lot of sadness and trauma in the past 24 hours. It's made me feel depressed cause I suddenly remembered that a lot of people out there are judgmental assholes who will fuck you over and talk shit about you with absolutely no remorse. There are so many negative attitudes about cosmetic surgery out there, it's really frustrating and sad when you think about it.
1. I love the way they look. They're the breasts I always dreamed of having. They're the perfect size - 34C. They look great in clothing. They look great naked. They have a great shape that isn't too round.
2. I feel more confident, like a sexy, powerful woman.
3. My boyfriend LOVES them
4. They fit my figure well and balance my body shape out.
5. The pain has largely gone away--I feel no pain in the left, so hopefully the right will catch up soon and then I'll feel perfect.
Oh sorry, three more negative things: 1. the right one feel pretty weird when I tried jogging today; 2. I'm still not sure how to tell my parents or how they are going to react; 3. $6300 is a lot of money, and I have a LOT of debt now with this on top of it. Yes it was worth it but hey, it's a lot of money that I don't have.
some more pictures day 23
That's my day 23 piece of advice. Please keep looking at your before pictures to remind yourself how far you've come, and remind yourself that little flaws you had before (like two different sized nipples, etc) will not go away with implants.
Feeling back to normal
I don't have morning boob or really any pain any more. The right one has a more sensitive nipple and the lateral skin is a bit more sensitive. Very mild at this point, though. They are very squishy and can be pushed together and squeezed.
Sleeping is easy now, I still don't lie right on my stomach like I used to but I doubt many women even with natural boobs sleep straight on their chest like us size-A ladies can/could. I sleep on my side a lot with the body pillow I've always used, sometimes I put more weight on one of the boobs, and it feels fine.
I feel totally back to normal now. I'm loving life with my new breasts.
Will post some photo updates later tonight.
PS My doctor was York Yates, in Layton, Utah. He was fantastic and I highly recommend him. For some reason the site won't let me change my doctor officially.
Can't believe I forgot to mention...
got sized at Victoria's Secret....Big surprise!
I started researching online and it turns out most charts would put me at a DD or E (aka DDD). My rib cage measures 30inches while my bust is now at 36inches.
It's weird...I don't feel like a double D. I am still surprised by that. I think augmented breasts just size bigger because they have so much projection compared with natural breasts of the same cup size.
I'm not going to worry about sizing. I've been most comfortable wearing super simple bralettes anyways (size medium).
attaching picture of the 34DD...
10 weeks later, feeling fantastic.
My right breast has been the more painful one since about week two. Sometimes I still get little aches and twinges but it's barely noticable at this point. I can run easily, lay on my stomach, and pushups are doable but I don't really enjoy them.
They have dropped substantially and the skin softened up (for about 4-6 weeks they were still pretty tight but they are now very squishy). The only part that's slightly firm is the base--I think because a lot of my volume is concentrated down there as I got textured anatomicals.
Anyways I'll post some pictures soon. Good luck to anyone who is just starting their journey, and to all of you recovering. xxoo
10 Weeks Picture Update
It's my 3 month boobiversary
Also, does anyone else get really creeped out touching the numb parts? I completely hate doing it. It's like I've been avoiding touching or thinking about that section of my breast for weeks. (for the record it's just a strip of skin about an inch wide extending down from my nipple in the 6 o'clock position if my head is 12 o'clock).
Another thing that worries me is that when I put my hand at the base of righty and push it up, it's this super weird feeling kind of like air bubbles are in there (?) or like the implant is nubbly and rubbing against my ribs ? It also makes me squeamish. My righty hurts when I lie forward with my forearms against the ground (as in a plank). Why would this be? after 3 months? Ahhh I'm worried but I'm known to worry too much.
The good news is I love the way they look! And the left one feels fine, no problems at all apart from some itching in the incision.
I wonder if these weird sensations have to do with my nerves in the more traumatized areas reconnecting and waking up?
Had my 3 month followup
They recommended silicone scar sheeting for my scar, which is red and a little bit lumpy. What do you all think about silicone scar treatment sheets? Do they work?
I have to say I'm feeling SOOOOOO much better about everything, I was getting myself depressed and anxious fixating on the minor pain in my righty. Oh and I went to a formal christmas party the other day...wore a plunging neckline and got so many compliments. I feel like that night alone made the surgery worth it :)
Pain mostly gone; scars improving slowly
I've been wearing biodermis scar sheets for the past month. I haven't seen crazy results but they are definitely making the scars softer and not as raised. The scars are still pretty red though, I don't think any product can really change that, only time.
Here are some pictures.
Dr. Yates is fantastic. He is extremely intelligent and answered all my questions. Nothing I could say would throw him off (which was great for me because I did a lot of my own medical research, which I never hesitated to bring up). He has a very calming presence. You can tell that he takes great pride in achieving beautiful results. I am very happy with the appearance of my breasts. Dr. Yates does a sedation method which I'm so glad I trusted him on it--it made my recovery easier and I like knowing that I wasn't under harsh general anesthetics. Also I think it's a bit cheaper for the patient. I had a minor complication after surgery but I think it was due to my own actions, and it resolved quickly--and during that time of stress Dr. Yates saw me immediately and his office went above and beyond to make sure I was ok. I'm trying to think if I have any complaints. I don't! This is a fantastic office and a fantastic doctor. His price is extremely reasonable, too.