It Finally Happened!

3 Weeks Pre-op: I've been reading this message...

3 Weeks Pre-op:

I've been reading this message board nonstop ever since my approval for breast reduction surgery on September 5, 2013. It's a day I'll never forget! Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I'm 21 years old. I am 4'11". I weigh about 115 lbs. I wear a 32 DDD/F, whatever you want to call it. I have wanted breast reduction surgery for as long as I can remember. I remember developing really fast in my mid teens. I went through bras very quickly. I remember nothing ever fitting for too long. Always buying new bras! My poor mother. I am so grateful to her for being through it all with me. I am the only girl in my family with a large chest. My sister is a 32 A and my mom has always been around a B. They've been a huge support, but at the same time, always told me that I am beautiful the way I am and that I dont know how lucky and blessed I am to have what I have. I appreciate their loving comments, but excuse it because I know they could never possibly understand the strain my boobs have put on me for the past 7 or so years of my life. Haha!!

(**before you continue reading, I'll warn you. I'm about to go into MAJOR detail. If you find this boring, please skip ahead to my next update)

I've always dreamed of having this surgery but I didnt start SERIOUSLY seriously thinking about making this surgery a reality until about a year and a half ago. Last year, I lived in Seattle while I attended an Aveda Institute for cosmetology. It was the most hectic year of my life. Between a really tough cosmo school and working at Starbucks part-time, I was on my feet about 65 hours a week. All while trying to maintain a social life and keep up on loads of homework, ETC. The cherry on top was an injury to my back last summer. I went cliff jumping in Bellingham, WA... jumped 30 feet into the water. I landed feet first, perfectly normal. It is a relatively safe, local spot for jumping. When I hit the water, my back went into shock. I went into shock. I blacked out for a few seconds and then got to the side of the river. My back was spasming for a good 25 minutes. I was in a hunched over position that I couldnt break out of. I felt pretty dumb!! I saw a chiropractor three times a week for a good 6 months. The spinal discs in my back were twisted on top of nerves. It was excrutiating. He determined that my breasts we a big part of the problem. I had so much pain and stress in my back previous to the incident that my body went into shock. I still can't really understand the full reason why this happened. I'm just gonna go ahead and blame my boobs! Haha. Bottom line is - my breasts are a huge stress on my body. I'm short. They are too large for my small frame. And I'm OVER IT. I need this taken care of so I can move on with my life! I want to follow my dream of becoming an incredible hair stylist and I don't want this to get in the way of doing exactly what I want to do.

I graduated from the Institute in February 2013 and moved back to California in March. The same week I moved back, I had two consultations set up for breast reduction surgery. I was so determined to get this taken care of. I met with the first PS and I didnt really care for him. I saw that he did nice work, but I wasnt completely confident. We had the consultation. I didnt really feel like he went out of his way to answer all of my questions. He sure as heck didnt bring up anything extra to discuss. I talked more to the insurance lady about what the surgery would be like rather than the surgeon himself! Two days later, I met with my *dream* surgeon. She told me everything I needed to know about surgery. The good, bad, and the ugly. She was wonderful. I asked maybe 5 questions total. She answered more questions than I could ever ask! She decided I was a perfect candidate for the surgery and that she wanted to be MY surgeon. I was sold! Hehe. She took some pictures and then I went on to meet with the insurance lady. Then I went home.

Over the next few months I was determined to start building the best case I could for my insurance company. I met with my doctor several times. I saw a chiropractor. I saw an osteopathologist. I was just about to start physical therapy in September when the insurance lady called me from the PS office. I assumed she was just calling to check in. But I answered and she said, "well you've been approved...". I had no idea what she was talking about, she never told me she was going to submit a claim to my insurance company when I met with her in March! I was in shock. I tried holding back the tears. I just said "okay, let me call you back". I remember hanging up the phone and dropping to the floor in one happy, sobbing mess. Call me dramatic, but whatever. I was in a state of pure bliss! I also had a giant pit in my stomach... SURGERY... AHH! I've never had surgery before... So I'm a tad scared to death. Mainly because of my needle phobia. But, I've never wanted anything so much in my life. So, I gotta grow up and get over it.

I called her back and we decided on a date. November 12, 2013! And now I'm HERE. I have a little under 3 weeks until my surgery. It has officially started sinking in that this is real. It's really going to happen!! I am a pretty lucky girl. I understand how hard it has been for so many to get this surgery. It's such a life changing deal. I cannot wait to start exercising. Get into shape for the first time in my life. Wear only one bra at once. Not a bra that doesnt even fit me, with one or two sports bras over the top of that. I cant wait to go BRA-LESS. And dont even get me started on bathing suits. I simply cannot wait

Just wanted to add a few every day pictures.

Nerves are coming on STRONG

My anxiety has gone through the roof lately. I have what I guess is called Trichotillomania. It comes around when I am in extremely stressful situations. I pull out my eyebrows and my eyelashes. It's NUTS! But it's here. The hair isn't completely gone. And I'm praying it doesn't get THAT BAD that it's all gone! Lol. I've also been clenching my jaw at night while I sleep. I clench harder and harder until it feels like my teeth are going to break. I know it's real because my jaw is sore in the morning. It's awful! I think I need professional help. Haha. Ugh. But yeah these things are starting to kick in. It's just needles. I hate needles. I hate phobias. I wish they would go away. I know it will all be worth the pain and suffering once I have my new perky little boobs. I have my pre-op appt tomorrow in SF. I know that will help to calm my nerves just talking about what's to come. It will be reassuring. I hope. Goodnight!

Surgery Tomorrow!!

Tomorrow is the day I have been waiting for for about 5 years now. It's totally crazy and amazing. Of course I am full of anxiety but I would say that's pretty normal for a person right before surgery. It would be weird if I didnt, right? I had my pre-op appointment about a week and a half ago. It went well. I spent at LEAST an hour with the person they call "Nurse Mari" discussing everything. She was wonderful. She prescribed me Ativan. I've taken it before and it only makes me feel a little tipsy then knocks me out. I don't really like it but I would rather have that than nothing at all, to be honest. The surgeon came in and we talked for about 10 minutes and I was on my way. Despite that, I really do feel like I am in SUCH good hands. When I had my initial consult, she talked to me for about an hour. I trust her vision completely. She really is wonderful. It was surprising because she told me to bring her a picture of my ideal boobs. So she can get a feel for what I am looking for. She was very realistic with my results at the same time. She also gave me a copy of the "before photos" that she took the day of my consult. I'll post them. I was a bit heavier back when she took them. It was in March. But honestly, every time I start to have the tiniest bit of doubt, I take these photos out and it reassures me instantly that I NEED THIS SURGERY. I get a lot of people telling me that they didn't even know I had big boobs or that I am beautiful the way I am. Seriously, all I wanna do is flash them these photos and I know they would be on my side. HA!

Anyway. Surgery is tomorrow. I am nervous. But okay right now. I have a friend that does excellent massage and I've scheduled with her a massage for this evening. I think it's a perfect way to calm myself before surgery. She's like my second mom. And she's had the surgery before. I think it will be very reassuring. I have to be in the city tomorrow by noon. Surgery is at 2pm. I can't eat after midnight tonight. That's going to be hard! But its all for the best. I'm also spending one night in the hospital. Can't wait to get this all over with and tell you all that I psyched myself out way too much. That I shouldn't have been so nervous. Thank you all for your sweet comments. They have helped me so much. I'll check in very soon!!!

Two Days Post-op

Can't believe I just wrote those words. Wow. I cannot believe how overall happy I am about this surgery. It seriously couldn't have gone better. I'm feeling a little funny now. I've been extremely emotional all day long. In a good way. I'll write a more accurate, in depth review tomorrow. I'm just so incredibly happy I had this procedure and it's done with. Cannot wait to heal up and feel my best. Here's a few pictures from the hospital.

Sorry It's Taken So LONGGGGG

It's taken me a while to actually sit down and write an update. I've been keeping up with everyone else's updates... But mine... I dont know. My brain hasnt really felt clear until yesterday. So I'm finally here, sitting down, ready to tell you all about my crazy/wonderful/emotional/painful experience!

The morning of my surgery, I wasnt AS nervous as I thought I would be. Surprisingly. We had about a 90 minute drive to San Francisco. Then the anxiety started to kick in when I started thinking about the IV. I popped a few valium and felt calm for about 30 minutes. THATS IT. That stuff barely worked on me. And I took 3 5mg pills. Oh well. I checked into the hospital. Everything was going smoothly. Then I hear that my surgeon finished early with the surgery before mine! So they wanted to get me in and hooked up immediately. AHH! I went into a room, laid down and then the nurse came in to put in my IV. I shed a few tears. He was so wonderful though. He was so calming. He gave me a shot of lidocaine first. BEST DECISION EVER. It hurt. But then I didnt feel the IV at all. Sorry to talk so in depth about this but you have to understand. This was a HUGE feat for me!

After the IV, they rolled me into a waiting area for surgery. My anesthesiologist came in and spoke to me. Then the sweetest nurse in the whole world came in and gave me a bunch of hugs. I was sort of emotional. Very happy but emotional. THEN! My wonderful surgeon came in to do my markings! She was just so amazing and reassuring. I knew I was in the best hands ever. Then they wheeled me into the surgery room! It was creepy. But cool i guess. There were all these people waiting for me. Including the nurse that kept hugging me. I sort of started tearing up. I got more hugs and then I remember talking about mascara........... Hahaha. Next thing I know, I had this icy pain shooting up my arm. It wasn't the most pleasant thing in the entire world. But I was out. I never counted backwards like the movies, nothing. I was OUT.

I remember waking up and my throat was extremely dry (from the breathing tube). I remember this sweet male nurse just feeding me ice cubes. I could not open my eyes for anything! My boobs felt like they were on fire. I kept saying that it hurt but he kept telling me that I had to wake up in order to get medicine. Then my surgeon came in and told me that she had accomplished every one of our goals and everything came out perfectly. I just remember squeezing her hand and crying with my eyes closed. Haha I bet that was a sight. Then I was wheeled into a hallway where I saw my mom! It was wonderful. I was smiling a lot apparently. I dont really remember much after that. The hospital stay was surprisingly really awesome. I had never had a surgery before so it was all new to me. The nurses were all very nice. The food was actually very good. One of the best parts of this whole experience was that I never really became nauseous from the anesthesia. I got really lucky with that one. I threw up 3 times but it happened so quickly, I never had an upset stomach or anything. It was a pretty painful experience over all. I have a pretty high pain tolerance but... yeah I'd definitely say that it was more painful than I expected it would be. It seemed like the "good drugs" didnt really do much for me, in and out of the hospital. The best drug through the entire experience, for me, has been ativan. I try not to take it too often. But it helps me sleep when I'm in a lot of pain. It also helps with the claustrophobia from all the stitches and wrappings. Other than that, I've been taking Tramidol for the pain. I'm trying to switch to tylenol now because of the constipation.

NOW! Let's talk about my BOOBS. I love them. I really, really do. I definitely can picture what they might look like a few months ago. They are very swollen. The left one is the worst. When I first got my dressings off two days after surgery, that breast was totally bruised up and the most painful. I'm extremely happy with my surgeons stitching techniques. I think she did an excellent job. My only concern is the incisions underneath my breasts. They're pretty scary. But I have faith that they will look much better in a few months.

Just Checking In <3

I need to take a couple of seconds just to tell you all how wonderful you are. When I signed up on this site, I did not expect to receive all the kindness and support that I have. So I just want to say thank you all for caring about me. It really has meant so much.

I meant to check in a lot more after my surgery, but as you all probably know, things don't always go like you wish they would! That is an understatement. I think what I really mean to say is that this whole experience is nothing like I thought it would be. I hadn't had any experience with surgery prior to my breast reduction about a week and a half ago. So this is all brand spankin new! I intended to document more and take a ton more pictures. HA. I honestly don't really remember the first entire week post surgery. I even asked a question in the "Q&A" section and had ZERO recollection of it until I randomly saw it under my profile. It was the funniest thing. I had phone conversations with several people and I barely remember any of them. Anesthesia is a funny thing.

The meds that were prescribed to me (Tramadol), on the other hand, are not. The past 4 days have been awful. Let me repeat, AWFUL. Today is my first "normal" day.

So, I had been constipated for an entire week after surgery. I thought it would be fine to just stop taking the hardcore drugs and just switch to Tylenol. Nobody ever told me how/when to go off this drug. I didnt think it would be a problem to just stop cold turkey. That is - until I started having withdrawls. I spent a whole night tapping my foot, completely restless. I wanted to jump on my bed and rip someone's eyeballs out, all at the same time. The next day I was sweating and twitching. It was completely awful. And I'm not exaggerating one bit. I turned into a monster! Then I decided to just take one Tramadol and one Tylenol. I had finally figured it out. Ya gotta wean yourself off... DUH. Four days later, I am completely off the narcotics and feel myself again. No more insomnia either! Yes! And thank goodness it's the weekend. I have had the opportunity to get out and feel sane. Moving on!

Today I got to do a little bit of shopping. It was the coolest thing trying on clothes that are actually my size. Not having to try the larger size just so it will fit the boobs. It was pretty awesome. Never been so excited to try on a sports bra! Ha! But I was pretty tired after every thing. I was glad I had someone to drive me home!

This entire experience has been pretty rocky. I never thought I would say that surgery was the easiest part of the entire experience. I almost wish I was back at the hospital! Only sort of joking ;). But like I said before, reading your comments has been just so incredibly helpful. Even the short and sweet ones. I am so blessed to have people in this community and in my life that support and care for me! I know that there are a lot of people out there who have gone through this without support - whether it be from your husband, boyfriend, family or friends. At least we will feel good about ourselves. And that's what matters most.

It's funny, I look down at what I have now and I feel like I'm myself for the first time in my life! Having huge boobs has been incredibly easy to forget. I just feel like this is how I was meant to look in the first place. Is that weird? I just feel like you can exercise and improve a lot on your body by yourself. But if you were born with big boobs, you can't change it unless you have the surgery. And I feel so so so incredibly happy with my decision and ability to have this surgery. I feel like I'm getting super sappy and emotional but it really is the truth. There have been a lot of emotions attached to these things! Glad to finally feel better and move on!

I'm going to try and get some pictures up by monday! A lot has changed in a week. Until then, I hope whoever is reading this is having a fantastic day. Whether you're healing or waiting! I'll update soon :)

Pictures and Stuff!

I finally made it past two weeks! I got to visit my surgeon for the first time on Wednesday and everything went great! She cut the knots off of my dissolvable stitches and told me everything looked pretty much normal except for my left breast. It's been super bruised for the last few weeks but I think we figured out why. When I got off the Tramadol, I just switched to Advil. It worked perfectly for the pain except that it's a blood thinner. And that would explain the bruising not leaving my body. So I have to go on Tylenol until it goes away. I think the only complaint I would have for my surgeon is not proper education on medication. When to go off, what to do when you do go off, etc. Nothing is life threatening so it's all fine and dandy I guess. Everything will heal fine in the end. I think another reason for the bruising and swelling is because I got a wild hair the other day and decided to make granola. Haha. It was a strenuous process of getting things out of cupboards, stirring and washing. It was probably a little much. It's a good thing I am off for the next few weeks still!! Can you imagine me going back to work at Starbucks?! I'd never heal! Especially during these insane holidays. Anyway. Here is a few pictures for you! Be sure to read the captions!
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