Sharing the Process With the Sisterhood - San Francisco, CA

Three years. That's how long I have been watching my face slide downward. Some days, I think I have been able to actually witness in the mirror the virtual vertical movement of skin while studying the cosmetic casualties and physical penalties of my 56 years of life.
Two years. That's how long I have been talking to myself about this, waffling with the decision, gathering up my courage, cruising web sites, reading the bios of cosmetic surgeons, trying to assess their skill levels and their capacity for compassion. How does a surgeon know, how can they understand how fragile this decision feels, this decision to risk potential complications and the comfort of status quo to go under the scalpel with the hope of restoring the beauty that was once enjoyed and that helped define me? To give me the face that matches my spirit?
All I know is that I have no experience getting older. I have only ever been young. Up til now. If only I had the wisdom of advanced years here and now, when I need it. Wishing I could jump ahead a few years and look back, finding comfort in the successful experience of cosmetic surgery. Then, I could feel completely confident in my decision to have this facelift procedure I have been longing after for the past couple of years.
Instead, there is this. The RealSelf website. Discovering this excellent resource, bible to cosmetic procedures, this forum; I feel like I have found THE holy grail, THE treasure box of borrowed experience and confidence and truth and sisterhood that just might be the best substitute for personal experience I can hope for.
As I read the play by play, the brave documentation of images, the before and afters, the honest comments, the sentences filled with strength, courage, humor and intelligent interactions, I feel the courage of my convictions. I am grateful to have found this circle of information, trust and support.
I have been further encouraged by the invitation to document my trip down cosmetic surgery lane. Why not!? To lay it all out there is to revel in the process and the experience and enjoy the support of friends not yet met.
I have read many trip tichs here and know that so many have been where I am now, in the "getting ready' state, bargaining with anxiety and doubt. Within that, I look for and wonder what that moment was, what words did they speak to themselves, that made each person who booked their procedure surgery date decide to take a deep breath and just do it!? I would really like to know.
Here's where I am so far: over the course of the last year, I have had 4 consults with different cosmetic surgeons. Testing the waters. Feeling if this is right for me.
The last 2 consults, most recently, have been more serious inquiries. I am feeling very ready to make the decision to move forward. While I have two more consults to schedule, (the prospective surgeons bios make them too good to ignore) I made a great connection last week with a doctor and practice I feel very confident in.
Updates and decisions will continue as I continue through the next consultations.
It's time to take that deep breath and go.

So, having worked through my choices, visions, dreams and self-judgements, I have made the decision to green light my facelift surgery. It will become part of my personal history.
I have done the complex work of choosing the perfect plastic surgeon for me. I've completed the intensive, pre-cosmetic-surgery prep course. I have layers of lists, annotated sheets and sheets of print-outs, visited state board websites to verify credentials, read reviews, followed along with some very gorgeous-faced women on this site who keep inspiring me, downloaded and read two pretty comprehensive books about cosmetic surgery to my Kindle app, filtered through so many bios of highly accomplished surgeons, looked at bazillions of before and after photos of "done" faces (and looked at lots of pics of droopy and newly-perked boobs, too along the way...although I am personally not going there : ))....chatted with many very wonderful and informative patient coordinators (who are these angels? ...and..i sure hope their surgeon bosses know that they are the compassionate and kind-voiced women that understand our vulnerability and consequently make or break our decisions to visit their practices).
I have scheduled first consults with my select surgeons, set the maps on my GPS and cautiously driven on speeding freeways and through mega-medical office complexes to make my way into well-appointed plastic surgery practice suites. Chatting with the girls in the front offices (all of whom have the most beautiful skin!), noticing all of the Obagi displays (wondering if I will have to take out a loan to buy into a superior skin care and maintenance system after my procedures), then finally finding myself in the interview office rooms., waiting to face my face through a doctor's eyes. Yikes. I have turned this way, swiveled in my seat to turn that way, looked up, looked down, closed my eyes, opened my eyes...had my face documented for the potential "before" photo computer patient file. Then, looking at my own "before" on the monitor. Yikes again.
Yesterday I went back for a second consult with the practice that I instinctively knew I was going to choose the first time I met with them. However, as part of the thorough prep-course I needed to follow, I had many little mental tests, researched questions and verbal quizzes that they needed to pass (with no faltering or doubt on their part allowed) before I could commit completely, though. As well, i needed to feel "the love".
I did.
They aced my tests.
I am feeling so great about how much prep, research and planned process I have required of myself in making this choice. Before all of this, I wasn't sure if i would find the highly accomplished, well-credentialed scientist/artist with a big heart, who could and would comfort every fear I had attached myself to.
Just like all big tests we prepare for, the best way to success, reducing fear, doubt and anxiety is planned process research and preparation.
Now...moving forward into the next processes of timing, scheduling, finances. ..and..
more lists.
I will be sharing names and details here soon as things become finalized.

My lapse in creating updates has been intentional. After I posted the few "getting ready" pieces here, my search for the right surgeon and the decision-making processes became pretty intense and I while I initially thought that I wanted to share everything publicly, I realized later, as I moved through things, that I felt the need to make these important considerations more privately. While I certainly benefited hugely from the experiences, the posts and the before and after photos of others on here, ultimately, the more critical the decisions became, the more I found that I needed to sit quietly with my own thoughts and listen to my own voice.
Currently, I am 6 weeks post-op. I chose a supreme surgical team (my review of them is my contribution back into the Real Self community and the amazing ways it has served me). If you are in the San Francisco area or within commutable distance, you will most certainly want to consult with this dynamic duo. My before and after photos will be soon available on their practice website.
While I am still in early recovery from a facelift and upper and lower blepharoplasty, my procedure results make me happier every single day.
Going back in time a bit here.....as I was making decisions and consulting with prospective cosmetic surgeons, I lived here on Real Self. At that point, there was a dynamic, expressive, supportive and very warm group of women navigating through the same scenes as I was. Through both public postings and private messaging, I devoured their information, their advice, their tips and their support. With that, I culled the best information about how to interview and choose a surgeon. I took the best of what is offered here with me on appointments. The best words of advice I received here were "choose a surgeon you connect with" and "choose a facial plastic surgery specialist." I heeded those words and indeed, found the very, very best.
I knew I had found my doctors with the very first consult (although I ultimately had three information-gathering consultations with them before committing). When I walked into the office of The Redwood Center, I was greeted by the warmest, most loving patient care coordinator ever.....ever!!! Then I met the docs. I was impressed right from the starting line. This practice maximizes the chances of perfection by combining the skills and experience of two very accomplished and credentialed surgeons who work together, on every patient. Each visit, they were both present, answering questions, helping me to assess my needs. It's obvious that they are the cream of the crop. As well, they were warm, caring and fully engaged in every moment.
My surgery went beautifully. I had great post-op care at home and the patient care coordinator kept extremely close tabs on me. Now, at six weeks post, I look in the mirror and see a beautiful clean jawline, almost invisible scar lines around my eyes and ears and nicely smooth areas under my eyes, where age was really starting to become unkind.
These doctors are very sensitive to every question, every concern I have. They are reassuring and help me to understand the healing timelines (I can't stress the importance of THIS enough!) At this point, I visit them every 3-4 weeks since there are no issues and the healing is progressing beautifully.
I revealed my new face to friends last week who had not seen me for a few months. They did not detect that I had had 'work done' but studied me carefully to try to make sense of what looked different. I gave them no clues.
Which brings me to the best part of having this procedure done with these doctors...I look like a better, more beautiful version of myself.
Please know that I am very happy to answer any questions about any part of the process...you can post publicly or message me privately. I am happy to share.