It Took 7 Months to Fall in Love (New Pics)

You can read part 1 of my Breast Implant journey,...

You can read part 1 of my Breast Implant journey, by clicking here.

 

Updated on 1 Nov 2012:
So today was my one-week follow-up appointment after the second round of Botox injections under my left boob. Both the surgeon and his nurse seemed very excited about my progress since they last saw me. The surgeon commented on the fact that the Botox continues to be effective for quite a while (my research suggests about three months), and that he didn't think any further interventions were warranted at this time. He did say that I'll probably need one more round somewhere down the road, but that they don't need to see me back for another four weeks, or sooner if I have any questions or concerns. I asked when I can finally wear a REAL bra again, and unfortunately I didn't get an answer because it reminded the surgeon to ask me about whether or not I had found the right compression bra, which they then asked me to model for them. FINALLY I got a gold star for my choice of bras, and then they lavished me with compliments, which further distracted me from my question. :-P I'm going to have to call the office later to ask about that because I can't WAIT to wear a normal bra (but I will).

At the end of the visit I filled him in about the troll and all the ugly things she said about my boobs, and then we all rolled our eyes and psychoanalyzed her. He said that my recovery has not been unusual or excessively complicated, which I take to mean that his patients commonly ride high at first, or have frankenboobs if you will. While it certainly wasn't fun to go through, I don't think that diminishes his skill as a surgeon because the deciding factor is the END result -- not the work in progress.

Who knew that there was a max word limit on these...

Who knew that there was a max word limit on these reviews? And would you believe I hit it? Apparently there are only a dozen or so uers that have been as long-winded, and so I appreciate each and every one of you that have stuck with me long enough to reach part 2 of my story.

The first entry here was cross-posted from my old review, but I wanted to share some new information now that we're all old friends. Starting from where I left off last time, although my surgeon didn’t think my recovery has been especially rough or complicated, he did say my case was unusual due to my anatomy/physiology. In fact, he even mentioned that he ought to write an article about it, which I thought was pretty cool because I couldn’t find any literature about it when I was researching breast augmentation when I was first considering the surgery. You see, I have a “condition” called Erb’s Palsy. Erb’s Palsy is a brachial plexus injury that can result in varying degrees of paralysis of the arm. In my case, I developed this condition at birth when the doctor used forceps to pull me out by my neck because my shoulders would not deliver on their own. This caused stretching/tearing of the nerves that control movement/rotation of my right arm, and as a result I have partial paralysis on that side.

The way that translates is I can’t turn my right arm completely over (palm facing up), and I can’t bring that elbow in to my side (picture the chicken dance and you’ll know what motion I mean). Because of this, it’s never been comfortable for me to use my right arm to do anything that requires strength, such as carrying heavy loads, and so my left side tends to do the bulk of the “heavy” work in daily life. I also think my body uses different muscle groups (e.g. pectorals) than most people when performing certain functions, and so it’s no wonder that my muscles are strong. They kind of had to be.

With that in mind, it’s my left breast implant that has been slower to drop, and it’s been a struggle to try to use it less as my surgeon has recommended. At every visit he tells me to carry my purse with my right arm, and I’ve never been able to follow his instruction with regularity. It’s not that I don’t want to – it’s just very difficult and uncomfortable. That’s why I think the Botox has been so helpful as it prevents the left pectoral from doing as much work as I’ve been asking it to do.

The other thing I thought was interesting is that my surgeon said he leaves a small strip of tendon in place at the outside edge of the pocket when he dissects because he’s found that this helps to prevent lateral displacement (i.e. boobs falling into your armpit). In my case, he said that the tendon was stronger than usual, which may be contributing to the delayed dropping on that side. To help with this he’s now got me doing a new massage technique, which is to press the implants outward in addition to pushing them inward to create cleavage.

So I guess that’s pretty much it for now. I just thought those were some interesting tidbits to share, even if they don’t apply to most people. Mostly I’m just glad that I have a brilliant surgeon who can recognize the issues and make clinically sound treatment recommendations to compensate for my “unique” physiological traits. Gotta love science!

So I was supposed to have another follow-up...

So I was supposed to have another follow-up appointment with my surgeon tomorrow, but because I scheduled an impromptu visit a couple of weeks back and then was told to come back in another four weeks, tomorrow's appointment should have been canceled. Apparently that didn't happen because I got a reminder phone call this afternoon, and I was glad I did because I've been trying to decide if I should schedule another appointment before the four weeks is up due to a disappointing lack of progress after the initial results from the Botox. As it turns out, the surgeon won't be in the office tomorrow, but I explained my situation to the staff member who called and she very helpfully arranged for me to be seen again next Tuesday morning. You see, I worry that the more time that passes, the more likely my pockets will heal as they are and it won't be possible to stretch them anymore without another surgery. This whole process is scary and frustrating. I hate the unknown. :-/

Something else that has me a little worried is some of the conversations I've had with my surgeon's office staff. Now, before I continue, I want to again mention how much I respect my surgeon and how smart I think he is. I hate to think of him stumbling across my review and hearing all of my whining, crying, and complaining, or worse, what I'm about to mention. Still, I figure my obligation is to this community, first and foremost, and so I try to be as open and honest as possible. I think that's what this is all about. So with that said, after listening to my explanation of my situation, the staff member that called me today told me she completely understands my concerns and that she went through it, too, after her own breast augmentation. I asked her how long it took before she evened out, and she told me she never did! She said they look way better than they did before her surgery, and so she didn't make a big deal about it...but what does that mean for me? Also, another staff member told me that she wasn't completely happy with her breast implants, and that they were bigger than she wanted due to unforeseen issues with the supplier. Now, these may or may not be minor issues -- I really don't know -- but I guess I would've expected that when you work for a surgeon, they'll keep at it until you're as happy and as close to perfect as is humanly possible. Then again, maybe it's the opposite and "paying customers" get the better service. In any case, it makes me a little nervous, but I'm just happy that they're so accommodating and helpful through the aftercare process.

Anyway, more to come soon. Hope everyone is doing well!

I'm back to "not worth it." It's been 13 weeks (or...

I'm back to "not worth it." It's been 13 weeks (or 3 months + 1 week for any math-haters) since my surgery, and I'm sorry to say that I still cry over these stupid things. I feel so stupid and embarrassed for having made this decision. While my breasts were nothing to get excited about before, at least I wasn't ashamed to take my top off, and at least they didn't cost me any money. Now I've paid a hefty sum for an "improvement" that ultimately wasn't, and today I would say that it's had a negative impact on my quality of life overall. It just seems like things aren't getting any better, and I never anticipated things would be so bad for so long. Yes, I've had many thoughts of explanting, but I'm afraid I'd be even unhappier with that outcome. I don't know. This whole thing just sucks right now.

Anyway, sorry for the negative-nancy crap, but sometimes you've just gotta let it out.

Geez Louise! It would seem my emotions are all...

Geez Louise! It would seem my emotions are all over the place! I was noticing that it had been only four days between my last two updates, and that in that short amount of time I went from upbeat and optimistic to anxious and hopeless. What changed with my boobs in those four days? Not really anything -- so I honestly can't explain the sudden downturn in my outlook. The good news is that as quickly as I go from hopeful to helpless, I go right back to viewing things with a more calm and even perspective. For that reason, I should probably hold off on posting when I'm feeling either extreme. Just like how they say you should never send a letter or email you wrote when you're upset, but that you should wait and re-read it later before deciding it's a good idea to send. Anyway, I was obviously emotional last night, but I've chilled out for now. And in fact, when I took off my (stupid compression) bra to massage them last night, I even thought they maybe looked a little better than I realized or remembered. I guess the take-away here is that getting a boob job can be a total roller coaster. At least that's been my experience.

Sincerest thanks to everyone who commented on last night's freak-out -- you guys are really sweet, supportive, and PATIENT! I'm hoping to chill out and just take this thing one day at a time, but it's good to know you guys are here when I lose it. :-P

I get the impression that my surgeon and his staff...

I get the impression that my surgeon and his staff are starting to worry about my mental/emotional wellbeing. That’s not to suggest they think I’m a nutjob, but that they clearly are picking up on some nonverbal cues when I go for my follow-ups. I guess it’s probably been obvious that at the last few appointments I’ve been on the verge of tears, which is due to my frustration with the lack of progress I’m seeing. This morning was another such appointment, and again my surgeon tried to reassure me that there is still time for improvements. However, it was also the first time he mentioned the possibility of a revision when I reach the six month mark “if it’s starting to affect the quality of [my] life.” He explained that six months is rather early because change can occur throughout the first year, but that it wouldn’t be difficult to go in and dissect the left pocket a little further to allow the implant to drop into place should that be necessary.

There are still no signs of capsular contracture, and both breasts are quite soft and move as expected. My surgeon pointed out that the incision scar on the left breast is still raised and therefore needs to stretch, which could help enable more dropping on that side. He instructed me to begin massaging the scar (though the technique isn’t exactly clear to me), and he also instructed me to lift the breast using tape so that the lower pole will stretch when placed in a compression bra. He’d mentioned doing this at my last appointment, but I failed to do so routinely due to severe irritation and redness from the adhesive. Looks like I can’t avoid it, though, because he does think it’s important. He also asked me if there were any particular spots I felt were tight, and I pointed out that the outside edge of the left incision has had what appear to be Mondor’s cords throughout the entire recovery period (over three months now). He could see what I was referring to, and he said it could be either a vein or a tendon, but he opted to go ahead and use more Botox in that area as well as on the opposite edge of the incision/pocket. Again, it should take a week for the Botox to take effect, and then another week to see if there’s progress. They’ll see me back again in two weeks, or as always, sooner if I have concerns.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m making a big deal about something minor, but the surgeon and his staff assured me that they don’t think I’m overreacting and that they’ll do whatever they can to help. They were very compassionate and understanding; however, I just didn’t have the heart or maybe the will to tell them that I’d actually asked my family doctor to prescribe me antidepressants today. This process has been far more difficult than I anticipated, and I’m really ready to start feeling and looking better again.

It's been two weeks since my third round of Botox...

It's been two weeks since my third round of Botox injections under my left breast, and there's been no real change to speak of. Today at my follow-up appointment with my surgeon, he said let's go ahead and proceed with a pocket revision. The outside edge just needs to be opened a few more centimeters, and then I should be in good shape. Sooo glad he's not making me wait the full 6 months as originally discussed!

Looks like my revision will have to wait a little...

Looks like my revision will have to wait a little longer. I'm scheduled to have another "minor" surgery the week before the date I selected for my revision, and my PS wants me to wait at least 4 weeks afterward to avoid potentially infecting the implant. I wish I could have my revision first and worry about the other surgery later, but the other is medically necessary and also covered by insurance so it makes more sense to get it done before the end of the year. So now the plan is to have the pocket revised in January -- tough break ;-P

Hi ladies! It's been a long time since my last...

Hi ladies! It's been a long time since my last update, which is a good thing because it means that I managed to stop obsessing about my boobs. However, my revision surgery is at 8:00am today so I figured I'd better stop in here to say hello and ask for crossed-fingers. Hope everyone is doing well and that my left boob will be all good after today. :)

So today was my revision surgery, and the doctor...

So today was my revision surgery, and the doctor was suspicious of a contracture on the left side (in addition to the under dissected pocket), and so he removed and replaced the implant and capsule as well. The pain has been minimal so far -- way less than with the first surgery. I can't tell how they look yet because I have to wear dressings and wraps until my follow-up appointment on Monday.

My surgeon stopped by while I was in recovery to show me pictures and explain what he'd done. I was totally out of it, but I remember thinking that the photos look better than the first set of intra-op ones. In retrospect, I could see the original issue in the photos he took during my first surgery, and so I'm not totally sure why he didn't see the problem then. But no matter, I'm hoping things are finally taken care of. :)

Also, I'm pretty sure these implants are too big for me. I asked the doctor if implant visibility would improve over time, because the top edges are quite apparent, and he said that someone with my body fat would always have that issue. I'm thinking that when its time to replace these I'll possibly downgrade the size and definitely go for a more moderate profile.

So today I got to see them, and while they are far...

So today I got to see them, and while they are far from perfect, the improvement is so vast that me, the surgeon, and his nurse were all giddy with excitement. I had the nurse take a couple of pictures with my phone, and I was disappointed to see that they're not particularly photogenic as compared to seeing them in person. For once I'm kind of hesitant to post pictures, because I reeeeally don't want any rain on my parade. :)

Anyway, they've got me wearing one of those granny-style surgery bras with an ace wrap around it for added support now. I've also got the left boob lifted with tape to encourage the lower pole to stretch. As it stands there's still a bit of asymmetry, and I'm definitely swollen on that side. But again, I'm very pleased with how things are shaping up and I'm looking forward to seeing further improvements as I heal. My next follow-up appointment is on Thursday, and they've told me they'll be following me closely as I have a "unique case." The current goals are to maintain the current position (using support to keep it from dropping), to redefine the breast fold, and to stretch the lower pole.

The surgeon said during surgery he extended the pocket by snipping muscle on both sides of the incision. Apparently that's what was holding things up. He also replaced the implant and removed the capsule just in case a contracture was beginning to develop. Fortunately he didn't charge me for the additional procedure or for the implant. I feel very lucky to be working with his team. :)

So today I got to see them, and while they are far...

So today I got to see them, and while they are far from perfect, the improvement is so vast that me, the surgeon, and his nurse were all giddy with excitement. I had the nurse take a couple of pictures with my phone, and I was disappointed to see that they're not particularly photogenic as compared to seeing them in person. For once I'm kind of hesitant to post pictures, because I reeeeally don't want any rain on my parade. :)

Anyway, they've got me wearing one of those granny-style surgery bras with an ace wrap around it for added support now. I've also got the left boob lifted with tape to encourage the lower pole to stretch. As it stands there's still a bit of asymmetry, and I'm definitely swollen on that side. But again, I'm very pleased with how things are shaping up and I'm looking forward to seeing further improvements as I heal. My next follow-up appointment is on Thursday, and they've told me they'll be following me closely as I have a "unique case." The current goals are to maintain the current position (using support to keep it from dropping), to redefine the breast fold, and to stretch the lower pole.

The surgeon said during surgery he extended the pocket by snipping muscle on both sides of the incision. Apparently that's what was holding things up. He also replaced the implant and removed the capsule just in case a contracture was beginning to develop. Fortunately he didn't charge me for the additional procedure or for the implant. I feel very lucky to be working with his team. :)

My apologies to everyone who's been kind enough to...

My apologies to everyone who's been kind enough to look or check in on me only to find no updates. The good news is life is going well, and the bad news is I don't think I'll ever be terribly happy with these breast implants. Since the revision the alignment is much better, but they're also huge and fake looking. I think if I were to do it all over again (and I wouldn't -- but if I DID), I would get a smaller size, a more moderate profile, and consider having a lift. I'm hoping that as more months pass they'll begin to look more natural, but the doctor says the edges will remain visible due to low body-fat. Wish I'd realized that beforehand.

Anyway, hope everyone is doing well and I'll try to post more frequent updates now that I've figured out my password. ;)

It's been over seven months since my original...

It's been over seven months since my original surgery and eight weeks since the revision on my left side, and FINALLY I can say I am happy with them. Even better, all restrictions have now been lifted, which means after all this time I can now:

* wear a "real" bra
* soak in tubs/pools/hot tubs/rivers/etc.
* get manicures/pedicures
* dental cleanings
* take ibuprofen
* lift "heavier" things (even bowling was a no-no)
* show these suckers off!

It's been so long since I've been on here that I don't expect to see many familiar faces, but if you know my story, you'll know these things are kind of a BFD for me. I still need to go get fitted for a bra and find out what my final size is, but at least I can finally enjoy these things. It's been a long road. :)
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Comments (195)

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Ok Breasto. How the hell are you? I just finished reading your story. Good grief! Long long road! Holy cow! How is everything now? Are you happy with size now? I also have "ridges"... I chuckle, as I have more ridges than Ruffles... haha... What's your update? I'm living in Arizona now, married to a wonderful man and totally enjoy bikini, motorcycling and lots of tank tops...
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Wow! Mine have the snoopy look,as well. I'm so scared I will need a revision
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I'm 2 months post op and not dropping fully into the pocket... I continue to retread your story because it gives me hope... Your results are unbelievable. You look nothing short of amazing! Thank you for sharing your story
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Yeah, I read it over the last 2 days while im in bed recovery. Youve taught me a lot and I see this last picture, and they look perfect. Are they? I pray you are happy with them finally. Mine looked just like yours after surgery but have been changing at huge speed (day 5 and Im in love with them). It is so important that you shared your story, thank you.
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...you kept talking about how whiney you sound in your posts. I didnt see that. I saw a huge investment / judgement being questioned and that sucks. I saw constant perseverance and a strong chica who went after what she wanted and that is the message I needed to hear
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Wow I just read your whole story in one sitting, what a rollercoaster! You're such a trooper, I'm glad you're finally happy :)
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HI, Well i see that you did end up getting a revision, is that due to the pocket not being big enough the first time around? Anyways, your results look AWESOME!!! Now would you recommend the PS to other women, knowing everything and going through what you did and how the office and PS treated you??
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how many CC did you end up with?
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I have been following your story and I'm sooooo happy for you! Girl you look amazing! your breast look so natural and they are beautiful! Great results. Hope nothing but the best for you. God bless you:)
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YES!!! Finally you got the boobs you deserve!! I can't tell you how happy I am for you. I think they look FABulous!! Enjoy showing them off, girl, you've certainly earned it.
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I'm really happy you finally like them:) I've been following youre posts and was hoping for the best! Yay! :)
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Hey Breasto! I'm doing fine, still havent had my surgery, and am not sure when it will be. Hopefully by next year. I just have too much going on financially and with the new job I cant take that much time off yet. Thankfully it doesnt hurt and is "hideable!" Thanks for asking about me and I am glad to hear you are doing well and finally happy with getting your BA. Summer is coming and you'll be able to show them off. Yay!
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Btw, I am thinking you look very natural! Yay!
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Just saw your latest photos and girl im glad you fell in love because they look amazing! Well worth the wait now hu!
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I was just thinking about you...I was going to ask where did yougo,lol I am glad you are happy, I am STILL thinking about getting mine done but Iam worried I have loose boob skin ( I was MAYBE 32c before having 3 kids) but its like boobs have NO FAT in them I did not even breast feed, wtf??? They are loose skinned and baggy, its gross I hate it, I REALLY want a boob job if I know I wont have problems...I dont want big boobs just fill out the baggy tit skin :( I avoid mirrors when I get out of the tub or shower I hate it that much...I am scared shitless something will go wrong, like CC or weirdness :S Anyways, sorry for rambling, I am happy you are happy with them now and the last pic they look awesome!
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Hi Leah, I think we can all sympathize about the complications we can get. Have you considered a  lift instead? If you just do a lift, you wont have those issues to worry about. If you can go that route, I would suggest it. If not, then you will have to decide if you hate your boobs enough to risk it. And my advice is to ask your PS how much they would charge for certain procedures if you were to need them after your initial implantation. That way you can figure out if you can afford it. I would ask about capsulectomy costs, hematoma, double bubble, and releasing a pocket. I am trying to think of another complication that is kind of common. Maybe you can figure that out from the posts here. Good luck!
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Well they are not saggy, they are still pretty perky my husband says they look great but they just have loose skin, idk...perky and loose? lol I dont need a lift at all,lol if they were big maybe!
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I have never heard of perky but loose. Lol and I am having a hard time picturing it. Although the risk is "low" in getting something- dont ever think it wont happen to you. I got CC in my left side and am dealing with that. I hope to have my surgery within the year cuz my doc is charging me quite a bit. Some docs charge somewhere around $1000 for a capsulectomy. He is charging me $3300. A capsulectomy  with strattice to reduce the risk of getting it again to 1 % will cost me $8000. This is high compared to other docs so ask your doc before you get your BA how much any of those fixes would cost. Well good luck in deciding then. =)
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well they are still where they were when I was 18,lol its weird its like the fat has dissapeared but the skin is there...:S I never breast fed either and they went from a 34b ish....to like a 36dd overnight,lol then back again,lol...so I got loose skin from that I kjnow it...its possible. I can wear no bra and they look like they belong on an 18 year old with small boobs...but ugh. Wow so expensive for all this!
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OMG!!!! Your BOOBS look AMAZING!!!!!! :) YAY!!!!!!!!
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One word...ALRIGHT! I know it's been such a struggle getting here but damn I am glad you made it.
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They look amazing!!! So happy that everything turned out well! You really do look gorgeous! :-)
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I'm so glad things looking up for you! I started reading your story when I first stumbled on to this site & have wondered how you were! I know you've had a really tough road, but I'm glad you're in a happier place now!
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Looking great!!!
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Hey BOCO. Sorry I haven't been by to check on you, I too was obsessed and decided to back off. I'm so sorry to hear you're not happy but I must say, I think of you a lot. I know your story has opened the eyes of so many.
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