“Awaiting a MM but Very Terrified!! - San Antonio, TX”

Well i have 6 children(all girls) and i have gained with each one over 100lbs each time. it took a toll on my body and now it needs to be fixed. I am scared and wondering if its the right thing to do. Can i really be that vain? What if i die! What if im not put all the way under and i can feel it but cant communicate?! What if i wake up in the middle of the procedure?! what if in recovery i move just right and pop open and bleed to death?!! All different types of things are going through my head hence the reason why i havent had it done yet. Ive been researching proceudres doctors, ambulatory facilities, surgical facilities, office base facilities, researching PS and anesthesiologist credentials. im doing my homework and trying to get some courage to actually go through with the surgery. if i could only stop freaking myself out. Anyways, ive seen 2 PS so far and schedule to see 4 more all in feb. Hopefully i can find one i trust and that i feel comfortable with.

Updated on 2 Feb 2012:
I just wanted to clarify from the original post that I have always lost all the baby weight and currently at a stable healthy weight and all my stats are very good... I go for a consult again on the feb 7th to meet another PS. I went at the end of jan to meet with a patient coordinator but not the PS i meet him on the 17th of feb. but the PC was a little off and going a mile a min, she really wouldnt let me get anything in really. But she did tell me she had a tuck with this PS and he is very good. But who wouldn't say that to get you to spend your money there. anyways, i just hope i get a better feeling with the doctor than what i did the PC. Im still weight lifting and doing my cardio alot still not seeing that scale budge though, give it time right. lol. I'll up dated again on the 7th after my 3rd consult(but technically my 2nd with a PS that operates on everything, the 1st just did fat graphs nothing else.)

Updated on 10 Feb 2012:
Well i was not able to make my consult on Feb 7th, my kiddos got sick so i had to cancel. Calling later on today though to reschedule that consult around the 20th of Feb. I've been talking to a patient of this PS for alittle while now. She speaks so highly of this PS(ill call him DR.O) hes very thorough; the eased alot of my fears and concerns. She also LOVES her results. I guess I'll see when i go in. i'll update again when i go for these consults at the end of the month.

Updated on 14 Feb 2012:
just wanted to make a quick update. Im scheduled to see a PS on FEB 21st with Dr.O and again on the FEB 22nd with Dr.D. ill up date again then to tell how the consults went.

Updated on 22 Feb 2012:
Well I went yesterday to my consult with Dr.O. He is very nice and explains all the procedures in detail. His patient coordinator was EXTREMLY RUDE she i did NOT like one bit. But back to doc he told me he doesnt do lifts and augs together. So I would have to come back in if i still want a aug(3months time). So my hopes of getting the tummy tuck and breastlift/aug all in one shot, was tossed out the window. And he also found a hernia(didnt know i had one). So looks like i'll be getting the MM done sooner than next year. Or maybe just the tuck and hernia repair gotta see what I can afford first. But he did say that with the lift ill be a size Bcup (im a small D now) I was like WTF i havent been that small since i was 12yrs old. I don't think Ill like that one. Well i go this friday to see my primary carephysican to ultrasound my hernia to see what excatly is going on. Im scared about that now. I was advised not to work out, walk excessivly, not to lift anything over 20lbs, and of course no sex! Dont have any idea what im going to do. All my muscle is going to go byebye. DAMN IT! Anyways, I go for a consult with a different doc on the 28th now and then on the 1st of march. Im also on a waiting list for another doc to see if i can get in sooner. Well with this Doc i seen yesterday he quoted me with a lift and tummy tuck to be around 11,789.00 and to do just a tuck is 6,884.00. Both those quotes include cosemtassure insurance and the garmet that they recommend. I'll update again around friday to let everyone know what my PCP says about the hernia.

Updated on 1 Mar 2012:
Went last week for an ultrasound on my abdomen to get a better look at the hernia also got cbc,thyroid, cholesterol panel done. I'm just waiting for the results on all of those. Went and seen a PS Dr. D yesterday he was nice felt around alot educated on procedures as well didnt feel a hernia. But his PC made me feel like she picked the size of implant for me and not me actually picking it. I had the feeling she wanted me to be porno big; thats not what i want. But this PS is including lipo on inner and outter thighs his total for everything is 16890"(BL,BA,LIPO of thighs,lovehandles and pubis, tummy tuck) not bad at all and he does loads of financing as well. The PS i seen today is Dr. A paid 45 for a consult and spent a total of 10-15mins with him, the rest of the time is with his nurses. He was nice as well, he educated the procedures to me he did not feel a hernia but just like the other PS said if there is one I can repair while im in there. I believe he spent more time talking and trying on boobs than anything else. I did try on boobs, I made the choice on the size. HIs nurses are all very nice and helpful. I ended up choosing 375cc on left side and 450cc on right side. All his staff has had work done by him and they all looking amazing and young but they are all older than me but look younger than I do, which is crazy. One of his nurses let me feel her tummy rock hard and she dont work out. She told me that it was definatly worth every penny though. She looks amazing her boobs are huge but i guess thats cuz her waist is super tiny now. Anyways, I loved his staff all super women! Dr. A is very nice and funny. I do love how all his work looks. He only does 2 financing options which sucks but what can you do. His quote for everything (BL,BA,TT,lipo of the abdomen and pubis) it came to 17052. Not bad I think. If i choose to do just one procedure lilke tummy tuck that one came to 7350. his quote is only good for 14days from today. im going to schedule 2 more consults with 2 different PS and go from there.

Updated on 21 May 2012:
Hi,
Its been awhile since i have updated my profile. Since the last post I did see 2 more PS. I went to see this on PS im going to cal lhim dr. I. Well he seemed very cocky and he acted and looked very tired. The whole time during the consult he was leaning up against the wall. I asked him some questions that were concerning, like how can you avoid perforationg my arota when you do lipo? Well he said that they dont know why stuff like that happens it just does "When I was in med school I seen some patients die just getting a catheter put in". I said, What! How does that happen?" Then he said with his famous words, " I don't know it just did." I didn't get to try on any implants he made me feel very uncomfortable. Just because you have all this education and experience doesnt make you a godsend. that's what i was thinking. So anyways he was definatly a no and his price was the highest of all of them. The last consult that i went on was with Dr. G his staff was nice and he was too. I did feel like i was being rushed through everything thing. He also did work on his staff. I didn't get to see any before or afters that part bothered me. I didn't really get to ask anything, i had to keep on reminding him why i was there(for what procedures). Then he said, you dont have to do this but alot of my Mommies that get their makeover they complain about having this( which was the back fat on the lower part) its optional. You don't have to do it but you can if you want. He also said i had a nice figure and once i get the tummy tuck it will be even better( the reason why he told me i had a nice figure is because i have the hour glass shape, i do work out alot always have). That part was nice to hear though i always thought that i do have a nice figure just the belly that hangs due to lack of skin and now my boobs just aint good anymore. But anyways, He was very nice educated me on the reason why he would like to do a breast lift first then come back for implants is because that the blood supply is "cut off" with the lift in 2 different areas so when you add a implant the last and 3 areas that draws blood to the breast is cutt off as well so there is a chance for nipple death. He said," if you were my daughter i would recommed doing a lift first, get those symetrical, perky, and nice. Then in 3months time come back and get the implants, so that you can have nice full breast to go with your new figure". I did like him alot, i just didn't like his price nor did i like his patient coordinator. She was nice dont get me wrong but she sucks at her job BIG TIME! i emailed her the next day after my consult and never heard a response. Just as bad as the first doctors coordiantor i called her that same day of my consult and never heard from her again.
So since that i have not choosen a PS yet, alot of things have happend with home life, that i had to put this whole makeover on hold for awhile to see whats going to be going on. I hope that i will still be able to get the MM done next year. but that all will have to wait and see what happens this year. I hate making plans because something tends to happen to derail your plans majorly. I see everyones post and you can see that their confidence has come back and they are happy as can be, and that is so awesome! Because i know once i'm able to get mine done i will once again be confident in my own skin. I seem to of lost my self and my confidence right around when i got pregnant with my 6th child. Everything was going wrong at that time in my life with my marriage and to top it off i was pregnant and not feeling confident cuz i was huge. After the birht of my 6th daughter(i gained 55lbs with her that has been the least amount of weight that i have ever gained in a pregnancy) i had lost over 65lbs with in 2months of having her. I felt so good that the lbs were just melting off my body, i felt sexy i felt confident, i felt like i was doing something right and proud of myself that i lost over 65lbs. But leave it to a man to f***k all that up for you. AT that time in my marrage s**t was getting worse than what they were while i was pregnant. I was trying everything to fix it and to grab some damn attention. But i finally gave up, i had had enough of his crap. Of course he blammed me for this and for that and he had to walk on egg shells around me and i didnt make him happy anymore blablabla. And this whole time hes complaining and whinning to me about me, i was thinking does he not SEE all that I do for this family and for him?! Does he not see that I'm not me anymore?! Does he not see that stress and depression is getting the best of me?! Maybe he does see but doesnt care. Does he actually think hes going to find someone beter then me?! Do I really want to through everything away that we had built together? I was pondering alot of things while he was talking and i told myself, let him go. He doesn't deserve you or this family, if "friends" is what he needs then go right ahead and have them. Will your "friends" keep you warm at night, do everything for you? I THINK NOT!!! so needless to say i let him go his merry way. We "seperated" he stayed in the living room and i stayed in the bedroom. we werent sleeping together nor were we sleeeeping together. Why should i give up the cookie, he dont deserve it. lol..
Anyways, that went on for a week or so, then guess what! He decides that he wants to be with me because he realized he was an a$$h**E and he was putting everything on me. And he really was blamming me for everything and in reality it wasnt me at all. But the damage had already be done(emotionally). He had told me that he is very much in love with me and wants to spend the rest of our lives together and making it up to me; and that I am the best woman and wife he could of ever asked for but he was too stupid to realize it at the time. Well duh i told him that, I knew that all along. But did I want him back after all that? I do love him very much and he had not done the ultimate betrayal; He just was lost for awhile(if he were to do the ultimate betrayal oh HELL NO there is no comming back after that in more than one sense). Anyhow we had gotten back "together" and ever since then he really has changed, he really has been trying to make up for all the times he was a jacka$$ to me and making me feel the way he made me felt.
Just recently i had a break down i had gotten really sad and depressed and just wanted to cry my eyes out. My husband asked me what was wrong and of course i said nothing( me not wanting to bother him with my feelings, not that he doesnt care because he does deeply, thats how i am). Well he finally got it out of me and i told him i wish i could be the way i was physically and mentally when we had met( which was 3kids ago, i had 3 children when we met). jAnd i told him that I know my self confidence will go up once i have the MM. I did tell him part of the way i feel is because of him on how he was and what happend the last 2 yrs. but the other part is how i am because i dont feel sexy. He tells me that he loves my body and im very sexy and he loves the way i feel; he tells me im beautiful and sexy everyday at least 10times a day. Which is very nice to hear and i do love hearing it. Its nothing that your doing wrong now its how i see myself. Some days i can look in the mirror and say , "I do look GOOD, all my hard work is paying off". but other days, i dread looking in the mirror, i dread wearing certain clothes, i dread making love my husband the love of my life. Because when i feel and can hear my hanging skin hit my body thats a turn off(sorry so graphic its grooss i know). Or when i look in the mirror and have to suck in my gut and lift my boobs and say this is how im supposed to look at 27yrs. Its depressing and overwhelming. I love my children and i wouldnt change them for the world. but i would change my body.
i want/need to be able to walk with my head held high, i want/need to be able to wear jeans and have them fit comfortably, i want/need to be able to shave my pubic region without lifting my stomach up to do it(gross i know sorry again), i want/need to be able to make love with my clothes off, i want/need to be able to walk around naked(in my house), I want/need to be able to do jumping jacks, burpees, jump rope, sit ups with out strapping in mine stomach. I want/need to be able to stop cutting myself down and comparing myself to my mom( i dont want to look nothing like that woman). i want/need my back to stop hurting(due to lack of muscles in my abdomen and my stomach is trying to hold up the hanging skin and it doesnt work so therefore my lower back comes into play).
Now that I am re reading what i wrote thats alot of wants seems like i want to much. Well lets change those to needs. ok there i did it. Am I asking for too much? Am I risking too much? Am I being to vain? Why am I so focused on my body? Why can't i just be happy the way I am? Will having this procedure make me feel better about myself? Am I being selfish?... People wear makeup to enhance their looks and to feel better about themselves( i do wear makeup occasionally, it does make me feel better to a point), so why couldn't I have a cosmetic procedure to make me feel better about myself? Why would these procedures make me any more selfish or vain than wearing makeup would?... 1 you spend 50 bucks on the other your risking life and alot of dough.
What I do know is that i'm not happy with myself on physical reasons and it does need to change. I believe once i do get the procedures done i would be a better person, woman, wife, mother. And ill be able to workout better! Sorry about that i guess I just had to get alot off of my chest lately. Well take care.