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Hi ladies! Well, here I am 9 months postop- and...

Hi ladies! Well, here I am 9 months postop- and finally I seem to be getting some relief from the extended breast pain related to my breast cyst excision. When the pain is not there I find myself really enjoying the new me- love checking myself out in the mirror and still reminding myself that this is ME in the reflection. For those of you waiting out the swelling- be patient- you will get there and it will all be worth it! Am posting a pic taken in January when I was in Hawaii- I was almost 6 mos post-op in the photo. Whenever I have a day when the pain comes back I check out this bikini pic and it makes me feel better- reminds me why I put my body through all this in the first place :)

Almost 9 months PO. WOW! Am posting a recent...

Almost 9 months PO. WOW! Am posting a recent bikini pic- loving my tummy these days- been working out lots and getting ready for triathlon season. Recently started the brazilian butt lift workout as well as the usual fitness training and truly am thrilled with my tummy definition. I HAVE ABS!!!! holy crap! LOVE THAT! My scar is fading though still very pronounced. Will post more pics of that another time when I feel like you can see a major difference. For now am patiently waiting that out. But things have not healed without some frustrating complications :(. As I mentioned in previous posts I had a breast cyst removed in December at the offering of my PS. He thought it would be a pretty simple procedure but proved trickier than anticipated. I wound up post op with a large hematoma in my left breast that caused me a great deal of pain but was told that over time (up to a year or more) the hematoma would subside and all would be fine. Hhmmmm....

So for the first 6 weeks post-op of the cyst removal I dealt with a great deal of pain in my left breast. It sucked. Different pain sensations every day, lots of swelling and an overall emotional rollercoaster...again! I did my best to try to remain positive though as I knew it would be a long journey. Things seemed to improve over the next couple of months- the hematoma was getting smaller and the pain- though it continued on a daily basis- seemed to be less intense.... right up until March 23rd (3 months after the cyst surgery.) Makes no sense to me but for whatever reason I woke up on that morning with severe breast pain. It continued all day with intense "zingers" of pain about every 5 - 10 seconds. Though I could handle the individual zingers, the frequency of them was what really got to me. I couldn't relax or breath deep the whole day as I constantly knew I was just seconds away from the next wave of pain. UGH. Sucked. What sucked even more was that it was the first day of spring break and I was fully aware that my PS was leaving town for 10 days and perhaps had already left. Didn't want to deal with some substitute doc who was unaware of my situation so I decided to ride things out on my own in hopes that it would feel better the next day.

Woke up the next day feeling better but nowhere near as well as I had felt in the 2 - 3 months prior. I felt pretty helpless w/ the situation as there was nothing I could do but more emotionally frustrated as the returning pain made no sense to me and I am a person who operates on logic. I tried to remain positive but each day of subsequent discomfort made that more and more difficult. At the end of spring break I called my PS's office in hopes of seeing the doc about it but the receptionist - who was sweet and kind, but truly should stick to answering phones and not attempting her own diagnoses- said it all sounded normal and that as the doc was just returning to work his schedule was fully booked and I would have to wait out the next 3 weeks until my scheduled appt. This is where I began to spiral downward a bit. The pain became exhaustive to deal with and my attempt at remaining positive started to unravel as I began to feel like I was in this all alone. Eventually I went to my OB who scheduled an ultrasound (which revealed nothing) and emailed my doc about the situation. I really should have emailed him sooner b/c by the time I decided to communicate w/ him I was really frustrated and not handling it well.

Sorry- making this long story even longer- anyhoo, finally saw my PS who isn't quite sure why I'm still in pain :(. Am now on round the clock Advil and some lidocaine patches to wear at night. My breast still hurts- sometimes stinging, sometimes overall soreness, sometimes it feels like there are needles inside my nipple. The whole situation has affected my libido - immediately after the MM I felt so sexy my hubby and I couldn't stop "celebrating"- but now I find it hard to relax in an intimate situation b/c just touching anywhere near that area causes me pain and makes me tense up. UGH. I'd rip these implants out in a hot minute if I thought that would make the pain go away but I think it's not so much an issue w/ implants as it is just from the general trauma my breast has been through with both the breast aug and the cyst removal. The whole situation just blows right now. I can't believe it's been almost 9 months since my MM surgery and over 4 months since the breast removal and I am still dealing w/ daily pain. I am just feeling emotionally drained at this point. Staying positive is becoming really difficult. WTF!?? About 8 years ago I broke my back in a couple of places in an awful car accident- and even that healed in less time than all of this. Sometimes I feel like I am starting to lose it. I would trade the pain for my old little saggy boobs any day. I mean- it'd be a bummer, but for me I'd rather feel good than look perky.

Please help me ladies. I need some positivity. Has anyone else out there had such a lengthy recovery in terms of extended breast pain? Any suggestions? Am posting an 8 month post-op pic for your viewing entertainment. Hope the rest of you ladies are doing well. I will try to hang in there.

Am now 5 months and 5 days post-op. I still...

Am now 5 months and 5 days post-op. I still can't believe this new body is actually me! I bought a new bikini this week and had to take pics of myself in it b/c I couldn't believe my eyes! It's almost like I'm looking at someone else! I've never been comfortable in a bathing suit- even before having kids. A lack of boobage always made me feel self-concious. Now- I can't wait to get to Hawaii! My trip is in 2 1/2 weeks and I am so excited! My scar is still very prominent but I can tell it's doing its thing in the fading process- though still dark it seems to be turning less red and purple and more brownish and lighter in some places. I know it will take a while and am content for now with just being selective in the bikini bottoms that I choose. Am posting a couple of bikini pics which are truly amazing when you compare them to my "before" bikini pics. I LOOOOVE looking at the before and after. Makes me so happy!

The only thing that is rather taxing and frustrating for me right now is that on Dec. 19th I had my breast cyst removed. It was not cancerous but my PS thought it would be a simple procedure and offered to do it. Unfortunately it has been a bit of a fiasco :( I wound up with a severe hematoma on the side of my breast close to my armpit. And under the hematoma is a gigantic blood clot! It is literally the size of a toddler's fist! Looks like a tumor when I look in the mirror naked! Can't really tell when I'm clothed but I am in a constant state of pain with it. And unfortunately the doc says it could take several months to a year for the blood clot to be reabsorbed and the swelling to go down! Dammit! Haven't I suffered enough with the healing required in the MM? Must I go through a whole other period of healing now for the damn cyst??? LAME! I can only wear bandeau-style bikinis or else the lump shows and dealing with the constant pain has brought me to a place of ongoing emotional and physical frustration. I know I just have to accept it because nothing is going to change it, but the constant discomfort makes acceptance difficult. The whole situation is just not cool. F*ck.

Oh well. I will continue to try and distract myself with the elation and excitement I feel when I check out my own bikini pics and hopefully time will pass and so will this damn blood clot.

Happy holidays ladies! Hope you all had a good one!

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