Nearly 6 months post-op - This has truly changed my life!
- Top Heavy
- updated 5 months ago
Hi everyone, after decades of wanting this surgery...
- 30 Oct 2012
- 3 months pre
Hi everyone, after decades of wanting this surgery but feeling that the risks probably outweigh the benefits, I've finally taken the plunge and consulted surgeons and booked a date for surgery. I'm now terrified. I'm 5'1" and 50kg and my boobs are a 30E. They've always been big and flopperty and caused no end of problems physically and mentally but over recent years I seem to have got even skinnier in the ribs and bigger in the chest. I've got to a point where I think that having endured this for nearly 30 years (I'm 44) to spend the next 30 years in the same situation is too much! I'm a runner and I'd like to run in just the one bra and not have to constantly rearrange the puppies as I go along. I want to wear spaghetti strap tops, and not feel like I have to climb into my locker at the gym to change because I'm so embarrassed and self-conscious. Unfortunately hubby disagrees, he loves the puppies and doesn't want me to change so this is causing some friction. I'm hoping he'll come around soon as he won't even talk about it. When I found this website I was so happy that there might be people out there I can talk to! When I look at some of the "after" pictures of what my boobs could look like I feel so excited. But then I look at what could go wrong and I wonder whether it's a good idea. Especially as hubby disapproves so much. What if it goes horribly wrong and I end up disfigured with a husband that can't bear to look at me..? Trauma! Has anyone else faced this kind of anxiety/uncertainty about whether they're making the right decision? Sometimes I think I should just get over myself and get on with life, but I also want to be able to walk into a store and buy a bra and a pretty summer top and actually feel good about myself instead of having this constant low grade misery!
So, I've just got back from seeing my GP. I don't...
- 30 Oct 2012
- 3 months pre
I don't know if anyone is reading this, I can't...
- 17 Nov 2012
- 2 months pre
I don't know how I managed to post my update as a...
- 2 Dec 2012
- 1 month pre
Ugh, have been feeling pretty stressed for the last few weeks. I've had lots of anxiety and "what ifs" about things that could go wrong. I've been emailing my PS asking him lots of questions and he's been so kind in responding. I feel much more confident now about the procedure and what to expect. He has an excellent track record. The only thing I'm worried about is the size. I don't think they could be too small for my liking but I am worried that they'll end up bigger than I'd like. I've asked him to take me to a B cup and "perky little Bs" has become my new mantra. Here's hoping. Only 8 weeks to go and it's difficult not to to have every waking moment filled with thoughts of boobs. I've become a bit obsessed and keep looking at everyone in the street. I wonder what size the nice little ones are and I wonder how much discomfort the women with big ones are in! I'm so anxious about getting down to a B cup!
I'm counting down the weeks and they seem to be...
- 11 Dec 2012
- 1 month pre
Earlier this week I went to see another PS. I had only been to see one previously. He's the one I'm scheduled to have surgery with at the end of January, he comes highly recommended by my GP as well as by the regional breast cancer centre. He's done over 1500 reductions alone and has an impeccable track record. I like him very much so I am very happy with my decision. It did occur to me though that I hadn't seen anybody else and I thought it might be a plan to just get another consult, if only to confirm that I am with the right person. Well, I can safely say that I'm very happy I'm with the right PS! I saw someone else who was pleasant enough but not nearly as thorough or, to my mind, as professional. He measured me but he didn't get out his giant tweezers and do all the measurements. He held my boobs in his hands (how mortifying!) and said "they're quite heavy aren't they?". I told him I hadn't noticed!!! By contrast to my PS he'd done about 300 reductions. He talked about dog-ears (which my PS said I was unlikely to get because of my frame) and he also talked about them dropping (which my PS said never happened in his surgery). He also talked about getting me to a small C rather than the B I am hoping for and which my PS says he feels is a 70-80% likelihood of achieving. So all up,, I guess it was a bit of a pointless exercise although it did help boost my confidence in my PS and reassure me that I am in the right hands. All I have to do now is TRY and relax and wait for January to come round!
Happy New Year everyone! Only three weeks to go...
- 7 Jan 2013
- 21 days pre
Have bought a post-op bra and some arnica. The homeopath told me not to take it prior to surgery but immediately afterwards. Having lived with these boobs for so long it's impossible to imagine what I'm going to be like after the surgery. I have this fear that my boobs will be just as big but just lifted slightly! Irrational I know, but it's difficult to believe that I could ever actually be comfortable and have the boobs that I've always wanted. I'm still terrified of ending up too big, and have had to control the urge to scrawl "make me as small as possible, please can I have B cups" all over my admission forms!
Oh dear,feeling terribly apprehensive today and...
- 9 Jan 2013
- 19 days pre
This time next week I will be getting ready to go...
- 20 Jan 2013
- 8 days pre
My husband has been telling me that it's not too late to change my mind! He took me bra shopping at the weekend, so he could buy the bra of his dreams for my "girls" last hurrah! A hideous balcony thing that squishes me front and centre but he was happy with the purchase! I thanked him as, looking at my boobs in the fitting room mirror, it made me so happy that in a few weeks time they'll be replaced by perky little things and the gruesome bra will be in the trash!
Having difficulty sleeping and feeling like I'm just about to jump out of a plane, but other than that all is well. Only seven more sleeps to go!
OK, so it's Sunday night here in New Zealand and...
- 27 Jan 2013
- 1 day pre
Have pottered around the house this afternoon, like a little bird feathering my nest! Having a good old tidy up and a throw away. Haven't yet chucked out old bras. I think that will wait until Miss Perky Petite Boobs comes home and I realise that it's okay to throw everything away!
Will go to bed soon, and then in the morning have to shower and then cleanse myself with some antibacterial wipes the hospital gave me. Am allowed breakfast by 7am but I don't imagine I'll get up at 6am to do that, so I think supper was it until tomorrow night - that's okay.
Just need to relax now and BREATHE..! Wish me luck :)
So here I am, back home after my surgery and a...
- 28 Jan 2013
- Day of treatment
Everything went according to plan surgery-wise. The nursing staff, anaesthetist and my PS were all wonderful and took great care of me. Surgery took about 2 hours and I was in recovery making a friend of morphine for about an hour! The anaesthetic has played havoc with my system and I have spent most of the time feeling extremely nauseous and clammy. I didn't get any sleep while in hospital. Although my room was quiet the motorised compression socks were a nightmare and I just couldn't nod off! I feel a lot better now I'm home and have managed to have a little sleep and am less nauseous.
I've not yet had a proper look at my new girls. My PS is pleased with them and thinks that I should be a 32B or small C. I'll be happy with either of those please! I still have the drains in and have to go back tomorrow to have them removed. I've got a 4 day dose of antibiotics and for pain meds I have panadol and voltaren (don't know what the US equivalent is!). The discomfort seems to come and go but I guess is about a 4 on the pain level. Since being at home I feel like the sides of my boobs have swollen up and are pretty uncomfy, I have a stinging/burning sensation all round the boobs which I'm guessing is the normal boob reduction pain. I'm all taped up and supported by a giant tubi-grip - like a boob tube from the '70's but without the sequins! It all feels a bit surreal at the moment. I've wanted this since I was a teenager and I can't believe I've actually done it. I wasn't sure what to expect on the pain front. I'm pretty sore and a bit hunched over like a little old lady, but my boobs feel a lot lighter - already I can feel that I'm not carrying extra heavy weight. My tummy is quite bloated but I guess that will pass in time and is the least of my worries.
Am not sure when to start taking the arnica and bromelain, I don't want to do anything that might risk thinning the blood - any suggestions?
I think that's it for now. I feel sore and a bit wasted! Hope everyone else is doing okay :)
Hi there! So I had my drains taken out yesterday...
- 30 Jan 2013
- 2 days post
I managed to sit in a shallow bath yesterday and make a start on washing off the pink dye that is covering me, that helped me feel a bit more human. Hubbie held the shower hose while I stood over the bath and washed my hair - that was great too! It will be a while before the hairdryer and straightening irons come out, but washing my hair is one of my greatest pleasures so feel a lot more presentable now - even if I am staggering around like a little old lady, clutching my knockers in case they drop off!
I feel utterly exhausted and am having difficulty sleeping though. I'm uncomfy lying down, even if propped up on pillows. So have been sleeping in an armchair. I start off quite comfy but then tend to slump a bit and end up with achey ribs. Hopefully I'll be able to lie in bed soon enough and it's not as though I have anything to do during the day so I can cat nap a lot! Have tried to upload some new photos. Sorry they're not very good I need hubbies help to take some snaps but that's a big ask for him at the moment.
Yesterday was my worst day so far with the most...
- 1 Feb 2013
- 4 days post
So glad it's the weekend and hubbie is here to help relieve the boredom - bored already and it's only day 5 - yikes! Am used to running 70-90 kilometers a week, so goodness knows how I'm going to manage to stay sitting on my bum for a few weeks! Am working very hard at not eating like I'm running 90k's a week. It would not be a good look to put on weight during this process! I hope everyone is healing well :)
The first thing I have to say this morning is wax...
- 2 Feb 2013
- 5 days post
My right boob is itching like a mad thing. It's a cross between an itch, a tickle and a strange crawling sensation. It's intermittent and sometimes there's a bit of a twinge too. The left doesn't seem to be reacting in the same way and if it does, then it's on a much lower scale. I can't see the girls yet so am stressing (and yet trying not to stress) that there might be something worrying going on under there. I keep telling myself that if there was a problem it would hurt and not be simply irritating.
So all up with the itchy 'pits and the itchy tit I feel vaguely simian-like this morning! On the upside, with hubbies help I managed to get a top over my head this morning - yaye, some progress!
I've just got back from my second post-op...
- 4 Feb 2013
- 7 days post
My nips are super tender now though! Having said that the rest of the boob generally seem to be pretty numb. I'm sure this will come right in its own time. I spoke to the PS about the weird itchy feeling I was getting on the right side and he said that it's perfectly normal considering what's been done to the nerves. There are also, of course, a lot of internal stitches and these in some places attach to muscle which creates its own odd sensations. So all up it just needs lots of time to settle. I've bought some non-stick 7x5cm dressings which I've tucked inside my bra to protect my headlamps!
I tried to put my Marena bra on when I got home, but I'm still pretty swollen and I just can't do it up without risking great discomfort. I'm wondering if I should get the next size up to tide me over until the swelling goes down. In the meantime I'm now at least able to get an Aah bra on which is progress since yesterday!
Hi everyone, I've updated with some pics of my new...
- 5 Feb 2013
- 8 days post
I forgot to say, that although I'm still obviously...
- 5 Feb 2013
- 8 days post
Am feeling a bit miserable today. I have just been...
- 11 Feb 2013
- 14 days post
Boo hoo, poor me!! Hope everyone else is doing well :)
Hello everyone! I've just got back from seeing my...
- 19 Feb 2013
- 22 days post
I stopped taking pain meds after 2 weeks but am still getting the nervey zingers. The pain meds didn't make a difference to those anyway, so I just grin and bear it for the fleeting time that they zing. Evenings seem to be the zingiest time, not sure why. I am also completely exhausted and doing very little. I take my hat off to those of you who are back at work after 1, 2 or 3 weeks. I am an artist and am winding myself up to go back to the studio next week but just for one day! I think I might also have to have a lie down on my workbench after an hour or two!
I had a little play in the lingerie department of a local store at the weekend. I tried on a few little triangle bras - I don't think I've ever worn anything like that in my life! I think I must still be quite swollen as I had to go up a band size. I fit into a 34B. That really surprised me, as I haven't been a 34 since I was a teenager. For the last 20+ years I've been wearing a 30/32 but the 32 felt really tight. I don't understand how that would be unless it was swelling, so will wait a while yet before going for a fitting and shopping up a storm!
My PS has me paper taped now, which I have to do for the next 3 months. After only 3 weeks the incisions are already looking great. Both my hubbie and I were really surprised. Hope it continues on in the same way. The PS is happy for me to be fitted for a bra, but I told him that I would wait as I don't feel ready for that yet. He was fine with that too, so long as the girls are supported. Cripes, I wouldn't want to go through all this and then have them fall down to me knees! I did buy one triangle bra but have yet to wear it!
I also had a look in some clothes shops the other day. In the past I would have been so defensive if a shop assistant poked their head through the curtain to find out how I was getting on, I would have been hiding in the corner of the fitting room! Now I really don't mind who sees my boobs, I'm quite happy for the shop assistant to see them, I'll whip my bra off for the acupuncturist, really I'll flash them at just about anyone!! The acupuncturist was actually very complimentary about them and thought they looked fantastic which was a real boost!
Ok, enough rambling for this update! I hope everyone that has had their surgery is recovering well, easily and happily. For those who's surgery is looming - good luck. It's a journey but one so very worth taking!
I'm feeling quite down this week. I definitely...
- 24 Feb 2013
- 27 days post
Am feeling a bit down about my size though. My surgeon had suggested I go for a fitting and by the weekend I was feeling like I was up to it. I really really really wanted to be a B cup. I could put a spin on it and say that I fit into a 34B and am therefore a B cup, but really at the moment my size is a 32C. I tried on quite a few bras by Stella McCartney, all in a 32C and only one of them was a bit too big for me. I think that may have been because my boobs are still a bit solid because the 32B also didn't fit right. So, I've posted some pics of me in my new 32C bras. All of which are very comfortable...but... I think my boobs look pretty good on the whole and I'm pretty happy with them when I'm naked, but with clothes on I still feel that they are bigger than I would like for my frame. I've read a few blogs where people have said that after a month they were a 34D and then a month or two later they'd gone down to a 34C, so I'm hoping that there is still swelling present and that they'll shrink down some more. I don't really have much in the way of weight to lose so I'm not sure that losing weight would make much difference. Feeling sad. It seems churlish. They look so much better than they did before, and I would have the surgery again in a heartbeat but oh gosh I want to be a 32B.
I had a clean out of my bra draw at the weekend too. Weirdly, I found it really hard to part with my old bras. I threw the majority in the trash but found myself hanging on to a few old favourites. I have this fear that in a week or so they will grow back and I'll need my old bras. I seem not to be able to believe that this can possibly last. I guess this is all part of the process.
I can't believe it's 5 weeks since my surgery. The...
- 5 Mar 2013
- 2 months post
I'm still not able to lie completely flat in bed, and find it best to be slightly propped up. Sometimes I shift down the bed in the night and wake up very achey so have to prop myself up again. I also get really tired half way through the day, so am still having my nanna-naps!
I'm quite bruised still (have uploaded a new pic) but the haematoma is slowly reabsorbing thanks to the acupuncture and I'm really pleased with the way the incisions are healing. Hubbie was very worried that I'd have big, red, livid incision lines but they are very neat and slim and healing well. Each time I change the paper tape a few of the absorbable stitches that are ready to go peel off on the tape. It smarts a bit but is progressively leaving a lovely neat line. Am still concerned about the size. Some days they seem quite neat and small and then other days they look like they've grown over night and I have a bit of a freak out! I'm a slow learner and only now seem to be taking on board that this is going to be a very slow process and I must be PATIENT!
Well this week I am exhausted! I had to work for a...
- 13 Mar 2013
- 2 months post
I have the all clear to wear normal bras but am paranoid about the girls sagging, so have been putting my tubigrip over the top!
The haematoma is reducing in size but my left boob is still swollen compared to the right. Am seeing the acupuncturist weekly and I'm positive that's helping. She keeps reminding me that if I had a similar brusing injury to my ankle it would take months to reduce, so that's helping me keep a vague degree of perspective. She's told me I should go ahead and massage it now, something I wouldn't have been able to do last week, and that is strangely soothing. Both boobs still seem to be bruised still, despite the arnica and bromelain.
The paper taping is going well,, no allergies, and I appreciate the security and bit of extra support it gives me. Each time I replace the paper (every 7 to 10 days) a few loose stitches come away. It looks like they're almost all out now, just a few at the ends that seem well installed and a couple around the aereola. Some of them are protruding a bit but I'm just leaving them alone and putting the tape over the top. They'll come out when they're ready!
The zingers in the nipples seem to have stopped now, but I do still get some soreness in general and some deeper soreness and tingling sensations. The tissue feels "active" for want of a better word, which I make mean that things are healing and coming to life :)
Well, I am getting there slowly but surely! I'm...
- 26 Mar 2013
- 2 months post
I had a happy day one day last week - I put on a 32C soft cup bra that I'd bought the week before, only to find that it was too big for me and I needed the 32B! It was a bit of a shame from a waste of money point of view, but gosh was I happy! Then, at the gym I found myself quite happily standing in the changing room taking my bra off. In the past I would have either attempted to climb into my locker to change or have gone to the loo and changed there! A huge and happy step for me!
I'm not really in any discomfort any more. I get a bit swollen if I've done too much and the occassional small twinge but nothing much. My main thing is waiting for the haematoma to resolve.
The scars are fading really well, thanks I'm sure to the paper taping.Sometimes I get worried that they are still a bit too big for my liking and some days they seem bigger than others. I've taken to measuring myself (my bust measurements) once a week as it's considerably more accurate than me standing in front of the mirror saying "I'm sure they've got bigger this week"! From the week after surgery to now I have lost 2.5cms from under my breasts and 2 cms from around my breasts. This is all swelling going down and not weight loss. There have definitely been fluctuations in the measurements, so I would say if you feel more swollen than you did immediately after surgery then that may well be the case but it will most likely resolve and go down again! PATIENCE really does seem to be the name of the game. I had no idea it would take this long to heal and it is certainly proving to be quite a journey. A very good one though :)
Hello everyone, I can't believe 3 months has...
- 22 Apr 2013
- 3 months post
Otherwise, on the whole I love my new boobs. I do wish they were a little smaller but I guess that would be labelled a mastectomy! My husband, who wasn't wildly keen on me getting the surgery to say the least, has declared "they are very small, but they are very pretty", so I'm taking this as a rave review!
Bra shopping has been a bit tricky. Some 32C bras are too big, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the 32B will fit, but I have managed to find a couple of brands that work for me and have had a little bit of a shop! I still sleep in my surgical bra for support and comfort and am still paper taping.
I've increased my work load at the gym, but am still not allowed to run yet. I'm not yet comfortable doing too much upper body work, so am sticking to cardiovascular workouts and some leg work. My coach has designed me a programme so that when I get the all-clear to go back to running I won't get too much of a shock! I've nearly lost the couple of pounds that I put on sitting on my bum, watching movies while I healed!
More than anything, any discomfort etc, the emotional rollercoaster has been the hardest thing to deal with by far. Having said that, I am so so happy that I had this surgery, it's by far the best thing I've ever done for myself and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I wish I had done it in my 20's rather than in my 40's but better late than never!
I've just been to see my PS for what I thought was...
- 30 Apr 2013
- 3 months post
I'm still taking bromelain and B6 and will continue to do so until I'm no longer fluctuating with occasional tweaks. I marvel at those of you who have had wonderfully carefree recoveries and are back running and zooming around quickly after your surgery. I'm a slow healer! Having said that, this is by far the best thing I have ever done. It's revolutionised my life and how I feel about my body. I wouldn't hesitate to do it again. I think I've said that before, but it's true!!
4 Months Post-Op - This has truly changed my life!
- 30 May 2013
- 4 months post
I'll probably get into trouble from the feminists out there but I have to say that, since the surgery, it's the first time I've really felt like a woman. My boobs were always big and saggy (even as a teenager) and I always felt ashamed and embarrassed by them. I tried to get over myself but I simply couldn't. Since the surgery I can - literally - stand up straight and confident, feeling feminine and sexy. It has done wonders for my confidence. I can safely say that this surgery has changed my life for the better.
I am now a size 32B to small 32C and I'm really happy with that. The scars are healing nicely - I've tried to add some photos to show them whitening up. I stopped paper taping at 3 months and now use lotion twice a day. In the morning I use a Clarins bust treatment to help keep them perky (I'm believing the marketing hype!), then in the evening I use an aromatherapy blend that I made up myself. Here's the recipe:
Carrier oil: 50% rosehip oil and 50% calendula. Added to that essential oils of: Frankincense, Neroli, German Chamomile and Lavender. So far so good :)
I'm back running and training as normal. It's wonderful to be able to just put on a sports bra and head off. I don't have to worry about my boobs as I'm running, or rearrange them every so often, because they're attempting to escape. I just forget that I have boobs and run! Before the surgery I hadn't really realised how heavy they were or how much of my awareness was focused on the fact that I was weighed down and uncomfy during my waking time. Weird that you could block something like that out.
So there you go. Life has pretty much returned to normal, except for the fact that I'm a considerably happier more confident person and I'm spending a lot more money on lingerie!
Nearly 6 months post-op - New pics
- 24 Jul 2013
- 6 months post
My PS sent me for a mammogram at four and a half months. I was due for one anyway, and he wanted to map any hard spots. All I can say is "ouch". Wait as long as possible before going for your mammo post-op! The mammographer was very sweet and she did warn me that with small boobs it would probably hurt considerably more than in the past. I can confirm that it did! It certainly made me perspire a bit! She was very lovely and said that she couldn't imagine me ever having had enormous knockers! She new of my PS and referred to him as an artist! She also showed me a film of my old boobs, compared to the film of my new boobs and the difference was amazing - it was like looking at two different people. Everything came back clear. There was some difference in the architecture of the breast in accordance with having had a reduction (which makes sense) and a very small benign calcification in one boob which I can't feel and which is apparently not unusual post reduction. The lump that I can still feel on one side, but which is slowly going, didn't even show up so I think it must just be some slightly firmer breast tissue that's slow to soften. It used to flare up and be very uncomfortable around my period but didn't bother me last month so I think that given enough time it's resolving itself.
Hubbie likes the new boobs but I remarked to him the other day that he's not fixated on them like he used to be with my old saggy pair. He was forever coming up to me and grabbing them and he doesn't do that anymore! He says that there's nothing much to grab now and he did like my big boobs so the desire for an opportunistic grope isn't there so much! If that's the worst thing to come out of the surgery we can both live with that! He likes the new girls, thinks they're very pretty and is very happy that I'm so happy. He's also very happy that I'm now wearing a lot more clingy and sexy clothes, instead of big sweaters!
I think that's about it really. I'm still overjoyed that I decided to have this surgery and I still wake up every day thrilled with my girls.
The healing process does take a long time though and I think I only realized that after about 3 months. I think if I had any useful advice to give that would be it: Be prepared to be very, very patient and make sure that you have really good line of communication with your surgeon :)
I can not fault Mr Glasson and his staff. He is an artist and his staff are incredibly efficient and caring. He does not have a typical Kiwi bedside manner! He is very professional, courteous, and to the point without being rude. He explained everything very clearly, answered all my nutty questions without making me feel like a fool and most importantly delivered exactly what I asked for - small pretty titties! I can't recommend him highly enough.