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At 17 I had a breast reduction, I was a DD (or...
At 17 I had a breast reduction, I was a DD (or bigger) and always had pain. I went to a C and loved them. Two children later, nursing both, they deflated to an A, and over the years they didn’t even fit in an A cup. I wanted a BA for years, saved money, would literally cry when I looked in the mirror at the tiny deflated saggy breasts that resembled two golf balls in socks. I was always perplexed that something so small could still sag, but they did. I went for a BA consultation in 2012, then shelved it for a year. A 15lbs weight loss and a new healthy lifestyle was what resulted in my new AA’s and I went back in Dec 2013 and booked my BA for May 2014. I originally chose 330cc but on the advice of everyone who saw them, all said, “go bigger, you will regret the smaller ones”. So I decided on 370cc, cohesive gel, under the muscle. I had no real breast tissue to speak of and over was not really an option.
The first 8weeks I loved how they looked. I had cleavage for the first time, they looked great with or without a bra. Then they settled and with a 10lbs weight gain, they ballooned. I want them removed for so many reasons, it’s hard to put them all here but they hurt, all the time. I have to wear a bra 24/7, they are so heavy, I have more stretch marks now (which scares me because of how much more they will sag after the removal), I am even more embarrassed to be naked because they are so huge and so heavy and although the PS removed some excess skin, I still have a flat spot on my left breast and even now with these huge implants still have excess skin that sags. My left side pocket seems too large, they move around and are so uncomfortable, especially laying on my back, they slide and slosh around. It hurts to hug people, to exercise (which I love to do and this is very upsetting to me). My chest has broken out since I’ve had them put in, which I googled and seems that others have this experience. I have had numerous appts with my PS, telling him all of this and the esthetically they are not at all what I expected. I went from small saggy breasts to large painful saggy breasts. AT first he said I was not a good candidate for a lift because my nipples were perfectly placed due to the reduction but now, months later says he would do it. I have no desire to be hacked again, an anchor shape, then around my nipples. He says I will NOT like the result of removing them and I know it will be a shock and I will cry at the sight of them but I want these heavy balls removed. I will learn to love my small, soft, saggy and PAINFREE breasts. I will be requesting a May date for removal.
One question though, does anyone who makes the decision to explant feel they might be making a mistake? Some pictures I look at myself and think, they look pretty good, then others, they are so huge and look painful (which they are). Maybe I feel that way because I think of how much it costs and spending that money was a waste, then I feel how could I have been so wrong, after wanting them for over 10years. It wasn’t an impulsive decision. I have to remind myself that having great looking breasts in clothing doesn’t make define me. Because really, that’s about the only time they look good. I can’t stand looking at myself naked, they are so big, so heavy, like udders. I do struggle with the cost of both surgeries, what I could have done with that money, and only a year later spending more to go back to where I was, maybe worse looking. I have to tell myself it was a life lesson, albeit an expensive one, but one nonetheless.
I have found this site to be so supportive and comforting, I thought when I began feeling like I made a mistake that I was the only one. But reading the stories here, I know I’m not and that I can do this and learn to love whatever the outcome is. I have no naked pre BA photos, so you can’t see the sagginess I speak of, but they were very shriveled and saggy, very small (as you can see in the tank photo).
The first 8weeks I loved how they looked. I had cleavage for the first time, they looked great with or without a bra. Then they settled and with a 10lbs weight gain, they ballooned. I want them removed for so many reasons, it’s hard to put them all here but they hurt, all the time. I have to wear a bra 24/7, they are so heavy, I have more stretch marks now (which scares me because of how much more they will sag after the removal), I am even more embarrassed to be naked because they are so huge and so heavy and although the PS removed some excess skin, I still have a flat spot on my left breast and even now with these huge implants still have excess skin that sags. My left side pocket seems too large, they move around and are so uncomfortable, especially laying on my back, they slide and slosh around. It hurts to hug people, to exercise (which I love to do and this is very upsetting to me). My chest has broken out since I’ve had them put in, which I googled and seems that others have this experience. I have had numerous appts with my PS, telling him all of this and the esthetically they are not at all what I expected. I went from small saggy breasts to large painful saggy breasts. AT first he said I was not a good candidate for a lift because my nipples were perfectly placed due to the reduction but now, months later says he would do it. I have no desire to be hacked again, an anchor shape, then around my nipples. He says I will NOT like the result of removing them and I know it will be a shock and I will cry at the sight of them but I want these heavy balls removed. I will learn to love my small, soft, saggy and PAINFREE breasts. I will be requesting a May date for removal.
One question though, does anyone who makes the decision to explant feel they might be making a mistake? Some pictures I look at myself and think, they look pretty good, then others, they are so huge and look painful (which they are). Maybe I feel that way because I think of how much it costs and spending that money was a waste, then I feel how could I have been so wrong, after wanting them for over 10years. It wasn’t an impulsive decision. I have to remind myself that having great looking breasts in clothing doesn’t make define me. Because really, that’s about the only time they look good. I can’t stand looking at myself naked, they are so big, so heavy, like udders. I do struggle with the cost of both surgeries, what I could have done with that money, and only a year later spending more to go back to where I was, maybe worse looking. I have to tell myself it was a life lesson, albeit an expensive one, but one nonetheless.
I have found this site to be so supportive and comforting, I thought when I began feeling like I made a mistake that I was the only one. But reading the stories here, I know I’m not and that I can do this and learn to love whatever the outcome is. I have no naked pre BA photos, so you can’t see the sagginess I speak of, but they were very shriveled and saggy, very small (as you can see in the tank photo).