Doesn't Look How I Thought - Minneapolis, MN

it's been 3 months are ok, i keep telling myself ' have patients', grrr...
i have a hard ball in my TT incision PS thinks the need to remove it in a few months, so i am also havig lipo on my upper belly since i have a huge bulge up there after extended TT . kinda depressing, but it could be worse Right?

its been almost 7 weeks post op , and what a journey it has been. the body i ave now will continue to change aver the coming year, and it is completely different . i read all over the comments from other women about getting their 18 year old body back...?? that just cant be possible, i never had issues with my body even after having 6 children i always bounced back to a size 7 , but after a near fatal car accident my life and body changed. menapause dident help also, id say it rather kicked my butt! i started gaing weight

5 weeks post op now, the girls are dropping finally everyday they seem softer i have sharp stinging pains still which is nerves and is normal. the incisions under my boobs are quite extensive, from the inside of my cleavage all the way around to under my arm which is very sore from my arms and clothes rubbing along the area. my implants are 450 med. profile cohesive silicone under the muscle with a full wise breast lift i have been using vitamin e oil, zinc oxide cream, triple anti biotic cream, mederma cream mixed together for my tummy scar and the girls the zinc really seems to protect the area and feels very soothing, i also use a bur n cream that seems to reduce the pain alot. well its been 5 weeks now and my hips and butt are still very sore alot of swelling yet, i have these hard huge bumps across my hips and butt and they hurt bad...i have had 2 massage treatments so far to break up scar tissue that lipo suction leaves behind, the massage is helping thankfully. now as for my tummy i am a little bummed the outcome wasent what i had expected it seems that fat or whatever it is sifted upwards to my rib cage area its huge theres even a roll whan i sit down there, i cant see over it so i look very heavy now on top and with the new girls i look fat. i have a completely distorted shape i am not happy about i was so excited to have curves again ..im still a barrel shape 20 grand and a butt load of pain later how depressing ...my PS made a comment the week after surgery that in a year or so he could try lipo on my upper tummy for a fee, however i dont know what to think or how to dress now i cry alot these days and i thought those days of hiding my body were going to be over , worse yet my comfort clothes i once hid in dont look right either with my big boobs i look so odd
my self asteem is about shot .....