Pictures at 26 days PO on MM!
- updated 4 months ago
I am 33 years old with four young boys that pulled...
- 11 Apr 2013
- 1 month pre
I am 33 years old with four young boys that pulled the tissue out of my boobs and deposited in on my abs when I birthed them. :) I am 5'7" and 125 pounds, but I still have a muffin top and tons of skin that I literally tuck into my jeans each day. I breastfed for almost 5 years straight and was in for the shock of my life when I stopped. I actually have a round indent in my boobs above my nips because they are soo empty!
I have been thinking about these procedures for a few years now, but I didn't even consider them to be a realistic option. I thought that Jesus would want me to be thankful for the body I had and to not wish for something different. So, a couple weeks ago, I surrendered this desire to the Lord. I said, "Change my heart if you don't want this for me or else make it really clear that you do want this for me. I surrender the whole thing to you." Well, that week, a girl came up to me whom I've only met briefly and volunteered (out of nowhere) the information that she had a mommy makeover and was gushing over the experience. I had never met anyone before that I knew had done this. The timing was so weird; it just felt surreal. For me, this was confirmation that the Lord was giving me back something I had surrendered to him. (I'm not trying to over-spiritualize this: the decision doesn't always have to come about in this way.) Then, I read this article about how people that struggle with forgiving themselves also struggle with extending kindness toward themselves. Self-forgiveness was something I had been working through in the past year, and I saw how I almost "punish" myself by not allowing myself to experience good things. It makes me feel guilty because it seems selfish, when in reality, it's a lack of self-forgiveness and taking care of myself. For some, this seems so simple, but for me, it was a major hurdle.
So after those two events within days of praying, I said, "Lord, there's one more thing. We don't have money for this right now." The next day, my husband told me we had tens of thousands of dollars come in to our business, and that we were suddenly very financially set, after a year of struggling to get caught up on bills. I couldn't believe it. He was completely supportive (although emphasizing repeatedly that he was satisfied with my current body) of this endeavor.
Another thing I've been praying lately is that Jesus would show me that he loves me, because sometimes I struggle with feeling not good enough or unlovable. When I don't feel loved, I'm not good at loving others. So, anyway, through all those prayers, I believe Jesus was showing me how much he loves me and that it doesn't matter how much money it costs (he has control of all the money in the world) or what people think (I used to run in very conservative circles), but that this is a gift from him, for me. It's hard for me to accept that; I almost cry when I consider it.
So, here goes. I never ever thought I would do this, so now I am insanely excited. I started to feel guilty for spending hours looking at this website on Sunday after making the decision and then realized - there goes that self-hate and self-condemnation again! I shook my head and told myself to enjoy this - the anticipation is part of the gift!
I have already chosen a doctor, and my consultation is on Wednesday, April 17. I have to travel in early June, so I'm hoping to get the surgery scheduled as soon as possible. I don't want to wait until mid-June as then I will be recovering for much of summer. So my next prayer is for the perfect timing of the surgery.
"Before" picture added! This was taken in...
- 15 Apr 2013
- 29 days pre
Question: I enjoy tanning about once or twice a month, just to maintain a little color. How does this work with scars?
Also, I'm a 32B right now. I was a full 32D/small 32DD before kids. Would you go for 32DD?
I realize this is probably not the ideal time of...
- 16 Apr 2013
- 28 days pre
I have a few items on my May calendar that I cannot miss...a graduation, a birthday, and twice-weekly baseball games (could maybe miss one). How soon after surgery do you think I could attend something like these with still looking/acting somewhat normal?
Well, I had my consultation yesterday, and it went...
- 18 Apr 2013
- 26 days pre
I felt very confident with this surgeon. His before/after pictures look awesome, and he was very professional and wise. Cost was $13,100...only slightly more than I anticipated but definitely worth it for a job well done. That includes tummy tuck, umbilical hernia, breast augmentation with silicone, anesthesia/operating expenses, removal of a couple moles, all pre- and post-visits, and pain pumps.
He does a very low incision and said I will need full-time help for a week and then should be okay on my own with the four boys, as long as I'm careful. He was hesitant about the suitcase/airport thing, which will be 2 weeks, 5 days after surgery, but I figure I shouldn't have a problem asking someone nearby to lift my luggage into the overhead compartment for me.
I have a graduation for a friend who is like a brother on Sunday, May 19...just 5 days PO. I'm still not sure what to do about this. It's an hour away from home, a 2-hour ceremony, and lunch together afterward. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to do all of that but maybe some part of it? That's my next prayer item I guess!
Now, I just hope the times goes fast! I'm ready to do this thing!! :)
Tomorrow is my pre-op appointment!
- 24 Apr 2013
- 20 days pre
My pre-op appointment went great! I felt a little...
- 26 Apr 2013
- 18 days pre
I'm very excited and actually not nervous for the surgery. I still have some fear when I think about my family finding out about this. I need to work through that yet. I also have some fear about what will happen to my body with 4 weeks of no exercise!
Any ideas for creative ways to hide drains while in public?
Two weeks from today! Yipee! I'm tempted to...
- 30 Apr 2013
- 14 days pre
I received a big order in the mail from Victoria's Secret with another compression garment (I decided to have two so I could be washing one while wearing the other) and a couple of sports bras. Oh, okay, I couldn't resist. I bought a couple swimsuits too! :) I figure it would be fun to have them for before and after pics too, right?!?
Thankfully, my birthday is this weekend, so that will help this time pass more quickly. I don't handle anticipation very well. I become restless.
I think I have everything ordered from pre-op to post-op that I may need. This stage kind-of reminds me of waiting for a baby to be born at the end of pregnancy!
Four days left in the big countdown! I'm looking...
- 10 May 2013
- 4 days pre
24 hours from now I will be transforming! Can't...
- 13 May 2013
- 1 day pre
Made it!!! One day post-op and doing fairly well!...
- 15 May 2013
- 1 day post
The first two hours were hell. They couldn't give me Demarol which is what they usually do (I had a seizure from it once in middle school). So when I become cognizant, I had been violently shaking profusely for 45 minutes. I felt awful and couldn't stop shaking. So then I started hyperventilating because I felt out of control and couldn't take a deep breath. Well, the nurse was basically yelling at me over and over. I told her I need help! She just kept saying, I can't help you; only you can help yourself. I asked her to rub my legs and she only did for like a minute then left. Then, she came back and was still yelling at me. I started to cry. I had been cognizant for about 30 minutes when my husband came back. (The surgery only took 2 hours, so wasn't back in time.) My husband tried to help but when he saw the drains, he hit the floor. The nurses had to take him to a bed, so then all the nurses were compassionately surrounding him and asking him what he needed, etc. Meanwhile, I'm by myself bawling and can't breath or stop shaking. I was pretty upset.
Then, my miracle came. I looked to my left and there was Sheila. Sheila doesn't even normally come back here, but she knew me from a consult for permanent eyeliner. She follows Jesus too and knows that I do, so she came over and held my hand and talked calmly to me and helped me relax and eventually start breathing well which slowed the shaking. I stared to cry again and said, "Thank you, thank you. God sent you here for me." She doesn't ever come back to the post-op room, so I knew God had sent her to me. She was even missing one of her appointments with a client. I told her that the other nurse had no compassion and was just yelling at me and thanked her for her gentleness and compassion. After about 15 minutes, my husband came back and rubbed my feet and the other nurse, who possibly had overhead me came back with compassion all of the sudden. My husband said he thought she was having a panic attack because of my breathing issues. He told me later they had only given me a light dose of pain meds - not sure why.
The drive home was rough. We had brought the Corvette so my best friend could use the van with my 4 boys. The seat doesn't recline, and it's not comfortable, so I really struggled for the hour ride home. I was able to sleep for about 20 minutes, so that was good.
As soon as I got in bed and took 2 Vicodin, I felt much, much better. It was just a huge relief. Ever since that first couple hours, I've been doing pretty well. I have a high pain tolerance though. My boobs hurt along the sides and top and feel crammed into this bra. It feels a bit like being engorged after having a baby. My stomach incision feels a bit like fire, and there's one random spot an inch underneath the incision that burns, especially if I'm an hour away from the next pain pill.
I've had zero nausea. The anesthesiologist put a round, silver sticker behind my ear that prevents nausea. It's awesome because it's just always there and I don't have to take another pill. She said it blocks a receptor and works for 3 days.
I have pain pumps coming out of my boobs, and my stomach tubes are hardly filling up. We've only emptied them once since yesterday afternoon. I think that's a good thing?
I slept mostly all day yesterday. I love how easy it is to fall asleep because of the Vicodin and Valium. My husband has been doing an awesome job taking care of me. He's really sweet! I was able to eat gluten-free graham crackers, a bit of unsweetened applesauce, just over half a piece of gluten-free peanut butter toast, and a Raw Rev 100 bar (mini dose of raw foods with protein - great little way to get some non-soy, healthy protein in and pretty tasty). I slept great last night, just waking for meds. The nausea patch gives you dry mouth, which is good because it forces me to drink more water! John just made me an omelet for protein, so I'm going to attempt to eat some of that. The nausea patch also makes it hard to pee, so that's a bit annoying but okay.
2 DPO...turning a corner!
- 16 May 2013
- 2 days post
Adding Post-op Pictures!
- 16 May 2013
- 2 days post
I slept with a heating pad on my lower back last night and that helped with stiffness. My hubby has been rubbing my back some too and sitting under the shower water helped. His eyes about popped out of his head when we first removed my boob garment. He started giggling like a school girl. Hilarious!!
Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
- 17 May 2013
- 3 days post
Also, John is going back to work today after helping me shower again in the next hour, and my best friend is coming over with my four little boys. They will stay out of my room but it won't be so nice and peaceful anymore! :) I'm a little bummed but I think food and a shower will help me feel better. I didn't expect to be SO tired all of the time. I have a 600-page book to read and take quizzes on in the next couple weeks, so I thought this recovery time would be a perfect time to get it done without kid interruptions. That's why I'm pushing to get off meds that make me sleepy, but I think it back-fired on me.
Please pray for me if you are into that sort of thing. Thanks.
Back on the Road to Recovery
- 17 May 2013
- 3 days post
Last night, I went to bed early (whatever that means since I'm usually always sleeping!), and now I just woke up in the middle of the night and realized my alarm didn't go off for taking my next dose of pills. And I feel okay! Not amazing but not bad! I'm taking 3 Advil every 4 hours and that's it. (I don't want the head and nausea issues anymore from the narcotics and Valium.)
I'm much more encouraged now. Thanks for getting me through that rough patch.
These are the hardest things for me right now:
1. Sore, sore back from remaining in pretty much same position all the time.
2. Discomfort where drains enter my sides.
3. Pain around edges of boobs - feels like engorgement when milk comes in.
4. Really want to stand up straight but not supposed to yet and probably couldn't either!
5. Would like to read and study.
6. Something always itches and it's hard to itch through all the binding/bra stuff! :)
Maybe after I finish my night of sleep (it's 1 am), I will be able to check something off this list. :)
Showers feel really, really good. Love them. I sit on the chair, lean forward so water is hitting back, and hubby massages back. Best feeling ever.
4 Days Post-Op
- 18 May 2013
- 4 days post
I just called someone back today who called me this week, and she told me that I had already called her back! This week is such a blur - so funny. Oh and I had my first cough yesterday when I choked on a pill and thought for sure I had just ripped open my abs! Yowza!
I'm ready to feel normal again, but I think it's going to be a while....
One Week Post-Op Appointment
- 21 May 2013
- 7 days post
So when you get to the dark post-op days, know that they will pass. I feel beautiful and happy and optimistic. After I can take the band-aids off tomorrow, I will take more pictures!
Hubby and I went to Olive Garden after my post-op appointment and it was just fun. I felt so free without those drain tubes!
10 Days Post-op: Funny Story & Pictures!
- 24 May 2013
- 10 days post
And now to upload pictures taken last night.
2 Weeks Post-Op!
- 27 May 2013
- 13 days post
Today was a big day...my first day without medication! I have been taking 2 Advil every 4 hours all week because of my swollen boob but I missed a dose last night and didn't even notice so I tried going without today and I was fine! I'm starting my period so I'm a little more bloated which seems to be bugging my incision. It feels more stretched. My right boob was a little less "off" today. That was encouraging! My belly button scabbing is gone (the black ones) and some new lighter ones are forming. It looks like I am peeking inside at my intestines...so gross. Anyone else feel that way?
I have been wearing ScarAway silicone scar sheets every day and LOVE them. They protect the incision from bumps too. I just take them off in the shower, clean them, and dry them out on a towel rack. (There's enough in the package to have a set drying while you wear the other set.) It's much less messy than gel.
I told my family about this at the graduation last week (it was obvious I was recovering from more than just hernia surgery!), and they responded well but I don't know what they are really thinking - and I'm okay with that! I chose not to tell my in-laws whom I saw this weekend - a farm family...it would just make no sense to them. My mother-in-law noticed a few times that I hunched over and or moved slowly and asked each time something like, "Now how long did they say it would take to recover from the hernia surgery?" My answers were vague. Kinda funny. I'm sure she was thinking I was overreacting but that's okay! :)
18 Days PO!
- 1 Jun 2013
- 18 days post
I am thankful for my new body shape. I'm looking forward for the swelling to go down on my boobs...they are soo huge and hard! The left one is making progress but not the right.
I think my belly button will turn out okay, but I'm not happy with how high my tummy incision is. :( I was able to find a swimsuit bottom that covers it (see pic), but the new bikinis I got online will not work. Sad!
I know this sounds really sad, and I am sad right now. But, I haven't felt this way for most of the week, so I think it's just a phase. :)
Mommy Makeover Phases so far:
1. Too drugged up to think straight.
2. In awe of new body.
3. Happy to be feeling better.
4. Impatient, newness wearing off, ready to feel normal again!
Thankfully, I've heard so many of you ladies remind us newbies to be patient...it gets better!
Update on Sad Post :)
- 1 Jun 2013
- 18 days post
Anyway, I wanted y'all to know that I'm doing better tonight. Thank you for your encouragement and prayers. :) It really means so much - especially since you don't even know my name or face! Talk about some good friends! You ladies are the type I would love to hang out with. :) Maybe we will cross paths on a beach in Cancun some day when we are sporting our new bodies on vacation, lol!
26 Days PO on MM with Pictures!
- 9 Jun 2013
- 26 days post
I'm wearing 32DD and still busting out. I have lines on my boobs when I take off my bra. Both sides have softened a bit but my right side is still more swollen than the left, so they are not symmetrical yet.
The biggest improvement this week has been my belly button! It doesn't look like intestines anymore. :) Also, I'm sleeping more comfortably and not quite as sore when I wake in the morning. I've only had to take Advil once in the last week.
Best comment I got this week: "You have the tiniest waist!" Yippee! Been a long time since I've heard that!
Hard News at One-Month PO Appointment
- 21 Jun 2013
- 1 month post
Well, the swelling never went completely down and at my appointment on Tuesday (5 weeks PO), my PS saw it for the first time and said: capsular contracture. (There's blood pooled at the top of my boob too which is why it's higher than the left. My left boob dropped beautifully at around 4 1/2 weeks.) I was sad. He gave me a prescription for an asthma medication and told me to massage like crazy. He said this works for 30% of patients. If not, I will have to have surgery in the fall. If you pray, please pray with me for God's best.
On a brighter note, I look and feel great! Five weeks was a turning point for recovery and my body starting to feel less like Frankenstein's monster (think incisions as patches and odd movements to avoid pain). I started exercising, which really helped with my mood and healthy eating too. I'm just starting to feel more like myself - just an enhanced version!
If you haven't had this done yet, it's funny how you can read and read women talking about being "down" around 3 weeks PO and think, "Okay, I won't be like that. I know it's coming, and I'll remember what I read - that things will get better." But then it happens and you don't even realize it! At least it did for me.
I'm so so thankful I had this surgery! I feel beautiful and happy.
New Pic at almost 6 weeks PO with MM!
- 24 Jun 2013
- 1 month post
Pic & Update at 7.5 weeks PO with MM!
- 5 Jul 2013
- 2 months post
Other than that, I am healing well. The incision is lightening, and I've been able to work out with increasing intensity. I did not realize how many exercises utilized your pec muscles though! Many tricep weight machines were too much at first, and I'm just slowly able to do them. I can do about 50 crunches and a minute and a half of planking before I chicken out! Lower body has been much easier to get back into than upper body for me. Push-ups feel freaky because of the pec thing. It just feels weird to have my pec muscles flexed; it's a very different feeling now.
I am still very, very happy that I had this done! If I had to pick between going to Cancun for a month and having this surgery, I would pick this surgery. Just sayin'.
I'm sorry that I haven't been on here much; I registered for too many classes this summer, and I've been overwhelmed with homework for the past few weeks. It will calm down again next week...
So happy to tell you the news!!!
- 15 Jul 2013
- 2 months post