Over a year has passed! - Media, PA

Where to begin...well, when I was a kid I was very...

Where to begin...well, when I was a kid I was very outgoing and fearless when it came to trying new things, but that all seemed to change when I entered middle school and started getting teased for my nose. I was called all types of names which I still feel uncomfortable talking about to this day. After continuously being made fun of I tried avoiding attention any way I can. I stopped speaking out in class, I quit playing sports I loved, and I had trouble making new friends. I don't get teased as much as I did then, but once in awhile someone says something hurtful and I burst into tears. Now that I'm older, I'm not as afraid of being judged as I used to be, but I still don't feel confident in my looks because of my nose. People always tell me how pretty I am, but I feel if I don't change my nose I will never feel attractive and will continue to go through life afraid of people making rude comments.

I went to my consultation and have set the date (Sept. 6th). I got my computer imaging done and it seems to look very different..probably because I'm just not used to seeing myself with a different nose lol. Of course it's a good different..smaller, less pointy, and no bump. My Dr. specializes in facial plastic surgery so I'm confident he won't mess up my nose. I read a lot of good reviews about him and he seems to really know what he's doing. He's very nice too. I think I'll be really happy with the results.

I'm paying for this whole surgery myself, which took awhile to save up with my 6.25 an hr job. I plan on quitting my current job for various reasons, but it will be better to start somewhere new, too. I have an interview this Wednesday for another job, and if all goes well I will start there a few weeks after my surgery so hopefully I won't be too swollen. If I don't get the job I will have to stay where I am (even though I absolutely HATE it), but I will have no choice because I am paying part of my surgery using CareCredit and I need a job so I can make my payments monthly. I hope this was a good decision because I haven't heard many good things about CareCredit, but I saved up most of the money so the payments shouldn't take long to pay off anyway.

I haven't told many people about my surgery..it was actually very hard to tell my mom I even wanted surgery. Of course she said things like "You're beautiful the way you are" and "Your boyfriend loves you and thinks you're beautiful," but I explained to her that I'm doing this for me, not for anyone else. I want to be comfortable in my own skin and if I do this I know I will be. I live in a small town so I know everyone will know I got my nose done when they see me, which I'm a little worried about, but I'm sure it'll be old news a few weeks after my surgery when people get the gossiping out of their system. I'm sure my friends will be surprised because I never even mention my hate for my nose. I don't know if I should tell them or just wait until it's done..suggestions? The closest I've gotten to telling my friends is by saying I'm getting "a makeover" lol.

When I found this site I wasn't going to post my story in worry of someone I know finding me on here, but I need to stop caring what people think about me if I want to do this! This is my life and I'm going to do what makes me happy. Also, I could use the support from others who are going through the same thing as me. Not to mention I'm sure my mom and boyfriend don't want to hear about my nose 24/7. Any tips and advice would be great :)

My job interview is today. I hope I can start out...

My job interview is today. I hope I can start out somewhere new!

So my interview went well so I think I'll be...

So my interview went well so I think I'll be starting a new job soon! I just have to take a computer test and if I pass that then I get the job. I'm not sure how long I should wait to start after the surgery. I was thinking 2 weeks?

Tonight I'm going to be telling one of my closest...

Tonight I'm going to be telling one of my closest friends about my surgery. I know she'll be surprised because I never even hinted about wanting this done. She thought I was joining the Air Force when I told her I had something important to tell her, lol. I hope she'll be supportive.

Since my surgery is a few weeks away I wanted to start writing a list of things I'm going to need ahead of time because I have a bad habit of waiting until the last minute to do things. It's right around the corner :)

Tonight was not a great night. I told my friend...

Tonight was not a great night. I told my friend and she just couldn't understand why I wanted to do this. She told my brother (also her fiance) and he doesn't understand why I would want to "change" myself. I just wish they knew all of the horrible teasing I've been through, then maybe..just maybe they could see where I'm coming from. It made me cry because I expected support from them & they said "whatever makes you happy." If this didn't consume my thoughts every day and I knew how to live with it, I wouldn't have saved the money and busted my butt working for this surgery. I just want to be able to walk down the street and not have to worry about people yelling cruel things out of their windows at me. "Why do you care what people think about you?" she asked..well, it's hard to explain to someone who has never been in this situation. I wish I was happy with myself and I just want to be happy and not have to think about it anymore!!! ugh, I feel bad now. I'm still going through with it, I just hope they get over the confusion soon. I'm glad everyone on this site is supportive. I need that right now

Just a few days away!! There's so much going...

Just a few days away!! There's so much going through my mind and I just want to get it over with already!!

So tomorrow is the day. I can't believe it's...

So tomorrow is the day. I can't believe it's finally here...I have butterflies already & I'm distracted from my homework I should be doing. I've had a migraine today & yesterday & it won't go away! I know it's because I'm anxious & worried. Good thing the surgery is in the morning because I have a feeling I won't be getting much sleep tonight. I really hope I can finally be happy :)

Hi everyone! Well, I finally did it yesterday. The...

Hi everyone! Well, I finally did it yesterday. The day started out pretty rocky. I was late going to the hospital because we got lost, which I felt really bad about. I waited in the waiting room for about 10 minutes for my Dr. to show up and then I did a urine test and got changed. The nurses were really nice to me and made me feel more relaxed. Next thing I know it I woke up to the nurses telling me I was in recovery and I start to CRY. I have no idea why I was crying, but they gave me medicine so I stopped. In recovery, I couldn't sleep at all. They even gave me medicine to try to help me sleep, but my throat hurt soooo bad so they gave me ice chips which helped a lot. One of the nurses said she was really worried about me because I'm so pale & she was surprised I wasn't anemic.

I was nauseous on the way home from the hospital and when I got home I threw up blood. It was awful :( Yesterday I was bleeding profusely. I had to constantly change my gauze & my mom called the Dr. to make sure it was normal to bleed that much. I haven't eaten since Wednesday evening and I would eat if my mouth didn't taste like blood because I continue to spit it up. I try to avoid looking in the mirror because I'm so ugly right now...I just want these days to go faster.

Today is much better than yesterday. My swelling...

Today is much better than yesterday. My swelling is finally starting to go down which is great because this morning my right eye was swollen shut. I know that results aren't immediate so I'm just focusing on keeping up with my meds & keeping the stitches moist. The nausea I had the first day and yesterday is now gone and now I just feel like I'm really congested. At this point I wish I could fast forward to a month post op so I don't have to deal with this cast or the swelling anymore.

Cast is off! :)

Cast is off! :)

So it's been a week and a day since my surgery &...

so it's been a week and a day since my surgery & I'm so much happier already :) I'm feeling more confident & it looks so much better than before. The front view is still pretty swollen but the profile is a lot better & it will only continue to improve which is exciting! :)

Correction: it's been 2 weeks since my surgery

Correction: it's been 2 weeks since my surgery

Things I have noticed: My other facial features...

Things I have noticed:

My other facial features are more noticeable now because of my smaller nose. ex. my eyes pop more, my upper lip is way fuller than before, and the pores on my nose are a lot tinier than before surgery (which may be because I haven't been wearing makeup on it, but either way I like it!).

It's a lot to get used to & i hope it looks as good as I think it does. I just know it looks so much better than my old nose & that's good enough for me. Others have noticed my confidence has improved & I'm more talkative in social situations, while before I was too busy hiding to avoid stares and/or comments on my nose. My friend hesitated when she saw me to tell me it looks good, she sounded like she forced it, but whatever. I'm just glad I don't have to be afraid anymore & I can just be myself

I was also curious as to why you're not supposed...

I was also curious as to why you're not supposed to work out or raise your heart rate too much after surgery? Can this affect the healing process? I tried doing a light work out yesterday & got a little lightheaded, but I don't want to get out of shape.

I'm a little nervous because my right side seems...

I'm a little nervous because my right side seems to be a little pointer than the left side of my nose. I'm hoping it's just swelling, but I'm not sure. Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe I'm worrying too much, haha

I'm thinking it's just tip swelling so I'm trying...

I'm thinking it's just tip swelling so I'm trying not to worry about it.

So in 3 days it will be 4 weeks since surgery & it...

So in 3 days it will be 4 weeks since surgery & it feels like forever ago! It's weird but I don't think anyone notices a difference in my nose except the people closest to me. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing, though. My nose is still slowly changing day after day & even though it's been weeks since my surgery, it's hard to believe I actually did it. I didn't chicken out & I will never have to worry about being teased for my nose again. I've gotten a compliment from someone the other day that I know I wouldn't have gotten with my old nose..someone told me that I have such a "natural" face & I look like I'd be in a covergirl commercial. I never had a compliment like that before! It really made my day. Also, it reminded me that my nose looks natural so that made me feel good. I'm so relieved that I don't have to hide my face anymore or worry about people yelling out of their car windows at me anymore (yes, that happened).

I have memories of guys rejecting me because I had a big nose & random strangers making fun of me just because they can & although I went through a lot of hurting & pain because of those experiences, I'm still glad I wasn't born with a smaller nose. It's a reminder for myself to think before I say something to someone that could hurt their feelings. Yes, we're human & we make mistakes, but words can make or break a person. If only we knew the impact we can have on someone else's life then maybe we would think before we comment on someone's appearance. Who knows, if those people knew what they were doing to me & how much I was falling apart inside, maybe they wouldn't have said those things to me & I would have never felt like an ugly piece of garbage because I wasn't what society considered beautiful. Come to think of it, out of all of those times I was bullied & picked on for my appearance, I never got an apology from any of those people. Not one. & believe me, there was a lot. I'm not exaggerating on that part, but that's a really sad thing. My confidence is higher than before & I think it will continue to get better, but it will take time.

I should have just wrote "dear diary" at the top of this update, lol. =p

Just a little over 5 months since my surgery! I...

Just a little over 5 months since my surgery! I posted some updated photos

Over a year now!!

can't believe it's been over a year since my surgery. Time certainly flew by :) I am extremely happy with how I look now & it was one of the best decisions i made in my life. I strongly encourage anyone who is considering getting this done because of their insecurities to do it because it has changed my life & I know it's a scary decision, but it was so worth it.
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