Growing into my best body. TT and BR
- updated 7 months ago
I am a 29 year old mom of 2 and I have spent all...
- 12 Apr 2013
- 17 days pre
I am a 29 year old mom of 2 and I have spent all of my adult life at least 100 pounds over weight. So I decided that I was ready for a change, a big change. I committed to not only eating only the best foods for my body but I began a work out regime and got a personal trainer. After a year I am down 80 pounds, I am still continuing to lose and once I am post op I'll lose another 70 or so.
With a weight loss this dramatic there is flab and skin that must be removed. However my surgical journey got its start because my 34 HH boobs are killing my back when I stand I work (as a nurse). I decided that even though I am completely terrified of surgery I was gonna commit to a full breast reduction and tummy tuck.
So here I am about 2 week pre op, roaming the Internet late at night seeking the comforting words of strangers to help assure me of everything from was it worth it to how bad was the pain.
My big concerns are (the possibility of dying on the table) the pain afterward is a huge concern for me (so feel free to tell me the truth there). I am worries about a long recovery and I really want to be on my feet and ready to go by week 4.
How did you stay calm before surgery? Was the pain worse than natural childbirth?
I have a unique sort of double roll belly.... One roll above the belly button and then the usual hanging yuck below. If anyone had this kind of tummy, I'd love to see you after pics. Give me down hope and all.
I look forward to talking about this journey together.
So I went shopping at Victoria's Secret for the...
- 17 Apr 2013
- 13 days pre
T minus 24 hours to my surgery and my anxiety...
- 29 Apr 2013
- 1 day pre
So what to do today to distract myself and prevent panic? Clean? Go out for the afternoon? TV?
I just wish there was a way to know exactly how I'll look and feel afterward. I need a bear hugs worth of reassurance right now.
I will post again soon, as much as I can in the new couple of days.
Holding my breath to be on the other side.
As I write this update from my hosptial bed 3 days...
- 1 May 2013
- 1 day post
So I can been given a catheter in my surgery on Tuesday morning and it had been removed at 11 am on Wednesday. I was gifted with one of the old school style nurses that takes no mercy on anyone under 90. So se rushed me around all day pulling drains from my breasts and removing the catheter and my PCA pump without even asking me if I was ready for such a change. Treat em and street em was her game. So I had been up for the first time around 1:30 on Wednesday and has started making my efforts to pee on my own then, but to no avail. At around 4pm I was begging for mercy as the bladder on my body was filling so full that it was splitting my binder open. At this mooing the evening nurse called my surgeon after leaving me crying and suffering pain alone in my room for nearly 2 hours. The surgeon orders a new catheter put in as I obviously cannot void in some strange but apparently common post op complication. Well this nurse decided to tell me that shed rather not cathertize me and she feels that if I just walk around hunched over my iv pole that I'll somehow be able to urinate. She leaves me alone in my room again as I am clinging to the side of my bed and tells me she'll come back with a gown to cover my assets. Another 2 hours goes by with me hollering and calling and pleading for help, as the pain in my abdomen feels like it is tearing me apart. Finally an aid walks in and asks what I need. I beg for my nurse, the aid leaves and again no one returns for over an hour. The nurse finally pokes her head in ans tosses me more pain pills. she Says "this should help". And walks out again as i am pleasing for a catheter. So the time is now nearly 8pm and I have nowreached a pain level that can only be sectioned as life altering and worse than childbirth (trust me I had 2 without drugs). I am leaning back on my bed (after struggling to return to it myself). Panting, blowing, crying and screaming for mercy. I push futile call button again and this time a make aid enters. I scream at him "Jesus Christ get my nurse now!" ( I later apologized in true Canadian fashion), instantly a different nurse appears and notes the destress I'm in as I struggle though my tears and gutter la screams to inform her of the situation. She screams for my assigned nurse (how slowly saunters into the room and suggests that I calm down before they help me). To which tidiest nurse whom I can only regard as an angel states, go home (assigned nurse) can't you see this woman is in terrible pain. The angel nurse proceeds to insert a catheter is what can only be described as the greatest relief of my life. My bladder had reached such a capacity that it drained over 2 liters (half a gallon) in less than 20 mins. As my years calmed and the angel nurse took to looking after my wounds that had all began to bleed from the stress and trauma, I softly sobbed at the pain and humiliation I was made to endure. Senseless and lazy nursing care.
So it's 2 am my body weakened from pain and I hover by the dim light of my iPhone posting to you all in the only forum of support I have.
I had called my husband back to the hospital for my own comfort and to being me a tiny bit of much needed nurishment. He is pissed and diplomatically spent his evening calling hospital administrators.
It's hard to see the light tonight, I am full of regret for doing this to my body. I pray that the morning brings a new outcome.
Thanks for listening.
Post op day 3: what a difference a few days makes....
- 3 May 2013
- 3 days post
I put on a sports bra for first time today (size medium from Walmart) instead of my 34 HH wonder wear from the specialty shoppe. I feel human fr the first time in a long time.
My scar is a tiny line and is barely visible already (my surgeon is obviously a magician). The scar is pretty low down too. I am bruised like I got boxed by a kangaroo but over all I am helping nicely. I can almost stand up straight (ish). I don't want to force it.
I am climbing stairs and being pretty Independant. All the prehab in the gym really helped.
I get my last 2 drains out on Monday... Which is good cuz they are doing nothing. Less than n ounce of drainage per day in total. My hubby has been amazing, although he looks pretty tired (cuz he says I sleep like a newborn, and wake him every 3 hours).
My hospital ordeal is over and I am focused on eating healthy, resting and getting ready for my best body.
Happy to be seeing the light again
So I got brave/curious last night and took a belly...
- 4 May 2013
- 4 days post
So I got super brave and posted new post op week 1...
- 7 May 2013
- 7 days post
I went from a 34 HH to a 34 D and my tummy hasn't been flat (nor have I seen my belly button since I was 13 years old.
Feeling pretty good and almost standing up totally straight.
Day 8 in my recovery journey and I am worn out. I...
- 8 May 2013
- 8 days post
Still feeling very positive and excited, but just really tired.
Tomorrow I get a visit from my bestie and Friday is a spa day for Mother's Day.
Each new day brings new weirdness from my body. Last night while changing for bed I found my hand was bloody. I panicked briefly and called hubby to inspect my body. Turns out my breast just sprung a leek and some drainage fluid found a way out. No biggie, I just need to slow down and let my body focus on healing today.
So today I wanted to own my success and I created...
- 8 May 2013
- 8 days post
Woke upon this morning with almost no swelling...
- 9 May 2013
- 9 days post
The swelling in my breasts is coming down too. So I tired on my Bra and panties and took some pics.
I do feel hesitant about my incisions I worry that I am being held together with nothing but tape and prayer. I have a recurring fear that a boon or tummy stitch will just burst open and I'll have to call 911.
Pod day 10 and I am eager to be at pod month 6 so I can just be over this whole ordeal.
I need a nap.
So as the swelling dissipates, I find that my...
- 9 May 2013
- 9 days post
I'm learning to take it easy although sometimes my energy level tells me I could do a lot I found that after overdoing it the other day I simply don't want to pay the price of two days in bed for every one day of being an idiot.
Tomorrow I get to go have a facial at the spa for Mother's Day, very excited about being pampered. I wish I could have a back massage I swear the back pain is the worst thing about this entire process.
Always in good spirits here and healing nicely.
So maybe I'm a perfectionist but since having my...
- 12 May 2013
- 12 days post
I am truly growing into my best body here. My surgeries simply helped me start to really see the amazing work I've done.
I can't begin to express how much courage it takes to post pics of my new body, after I spent 20 years hiding it.
Proud of my flesh, because its mine.
So here I am on pod14. Feeling great, no pain...
- 14 May 2013
- 14 days post
I am so pleased to be able to do everything for myself right now, bathing, cooking, laundry, etc. seeing as I am absolutely not allowed in the gym for another month according to my doctor, I have decided to take my walking seriously. I'll cardio my little heart out the way I'm allowed.
I am happy I did this! No regrets. I am sorry I didn't do it sooner.
Mother Nature sent me her monthly gift and I'm still not down. Happy to be alive and growing to love my sexy 2.0. It's such a change from hating my body to embracing its beauty and strength.
I hope all of your journeys are as positive and hopeful on this beautiful day.
Can a get a hell ya for loving thy flesh!! Whoop whoop
New pics posted
Swell hell, a lesson in sodium consumption
- 18 May 2013
- 18 days post
My incisions are healing really nicely, I just wish the recovery process was done and over with already.
In other news I am now able to sleep on my side!!! Oh happy day! What an amazing relief.
On with healing and sodium detox, I'd post a photo but its to scary to look at myself so bloated. Lol