Mommy Makeover: Stories

I'm 46 and have been wanting to do this for the past five years. I have five children and for whatever reason keep talking myself out of it...., I dont want to miss any of their activities, bad timing with family vacations, money spent on myself and of course the scars and pain involved. Reading the journeys of so many women has been very helpful. I've decided it time for me! I can do this! I am scheduled for PreOp in a couple of weeks and surgery will be on May 9th for TT, BL, and inner and outer thigh lipo. I am 5'10 and fairly thin. With clothes on no one would ever think I needed surgery. My stomach appears flat, but behind the scenes I'm miserable. I just want to feel good about myself again. I exercise frequently, but i am a terrible, terrible eater. I really need to focus on that as my diet consists of very few nutrional items. I am more of a junk food snacker and not a meal eater. Not good i know! My husband thinks I'm beautiful and cannot grasp why I want to go through with this. He supports me, but wishes I wouldn't do it. We are both very nervous about the scars. I am looking forward to the support and friendship that I see developing on this site. Good luck to you all.

This takes a lot of guts to do! My before pictures make me want to cry. Holy crap, it's a huge reality check to actually look at the pictures even when you live with it on a daily basis! I just kept looking and saying REALLY? REALLY? I am so doing this!
Breast feeding all five of my kids was a wonderful thing, but dang, these ladies are wiped out. They want the BB days back (before babies days) I don't look bad in clothes. As I mentioned in one of my post. Nobody would guess I need/want to do this because it's not obvious. My stomach appears flat in clothes, I wear the right bras, I still have a natural curve in my waist, I am 5'10 and weigh around 145, but underneath it all this is what I am dealing with and I am so so miserable!

Tomorrow is my first and only PreOp meeting. I can't sleep cuz I'm one of those women who like a plan...I like to know what's ahead. I feel very much like I don't know what to expect so I'm playing it over and over in my mind piecing together all I've read on here to try to put the meeting in order somehow. Crazy I know. I'm the one in charge of the questions, but it's very scarey to try to ask questions regarding Things I don't know about...am I asking the right questions, too many, too few. Think I will just cover my bases and let them know to expect random phone calls if I think of questions in the next few weeks.

Had my PreOp yesterday. Thanks to this site I had a list of questions, but what kills me is how different all ps are. My guy is SO laid back. I feel like I'm having a procedure more like my wisdom teeth out then a major overhaul with him. I like him, but I hope to God I have made the right choice in surgeons. I'm actually having a hard time concentrating right now. Will update more about my visit later.

ImaSummerGirl
Location: Midwest
Joined: 7 Apr 2012
Activity: 41 posts

2 reviews

As promised I said I would give you the low down of my preop visit.
First let me say having a husband that is less than excited about my adventure is not very easy. In the car ride to the center he wanted to talk to me about all the things that could go wrong. I have low blood pressure, "So what about that?" he said followed by "Is your will updated? What if something goes wrong, what am I supposed to do?" He is also terribly worried about the scars. "What if they don't heal right and you are unhappy." Then I get, " Well I guess you are doing this for you and not me so I hope you are going to be happy." But I haven't shared the best part. He brings up HIS scar concern with the doctor then proceeds to show the doctor all of his scars, his arm, his leg, his forehead and then the grand finale....he lifts up his shirt exposing a plastic surgeons nightmare of a belly and shows him his scar on his chest! I about died! It was a lovely experience bringing him along. NOT! lol

Reading these posts I was expecting more to happen at the preop. I had my list of questions which was derived from this website. If I hadn't had it I am not sure what we would have talked about. I definately conducted the meeting. My PS is VERY layed back.

Here are some of my questions.

1.) Q: Any meds I should or shouldn't take prior to surgery?
A: Just take a regular multivitamin, nothing with mega. Stop any diet aids, herbal supplements, or omegas.
Q: Should I take vitamin C?
A: If you want?

2.) Q: Do you supply anything to help with scar healing or do you recommend anything like Mederma or Silicon strips.
A: No. Just use Neosporin. The other products are expensive and not necessarily proven to work. Unless you have someone willing to treat only half their scars to compare the other side I doubt you will really know if they are truly worth the additional expense.

3.) Q: Should I take anything for bruising?
A: If you want. I usually don't tell anyone it's
necessary unless they are having a procedure in the facial area.

4.) Q: Any special diet to follow or avoid?
A: Not really, just remember what goes in must come out so avoid foods that take awhile to digest like red meat or that dont normally agree with you.

5.) Q: Any special soaps you want me to use prior to the
surgery or after.
A: Any antibacterial soap is fine like Dial.

Other questions I asked were about the nipple size changing, the sensitivity of the nipple area afterward, if he felt I had enough breast tissue left not to have an implant. I asked about buying extra binders, what to expect that morning when I got there, how long the procedure would take and when he wanted to see me again after the surgery. Then lastly I begged him to make me look gorgeous and have a tiny beautiful flat tummy with a little scar and perky breasts when I woke up. He reminded me he was a prefections and tummies and breasts were his speciality and that I will be very happy. He gave me a list of instructions, prescriptions and an order to have a mamo, I signed consents, paid and we were off. Probably took 20 minutes.

The Preop shopping list from him is as follows:
Prescriptions
Tylenol
Motrin
Multivitamin
Germ-inhibiting soap
Straws
Bagged frozen peas of popcorn kernals
Dry skin lotions
4x4 quaze
Gentle foods: clear soda, plain crachers, water based soups, pudding, applesauce, rice, jello, dry toast.
Laxatives or stool softners.

So there you have it. My preop experience in a nutshell! 12 days out! Thank God I can still take my anxiety drugs!

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you something we do in Zumba that's just a good reminder for our core strength. The instructor is constantly reminding us of posture throughout the class...standing tall, shoulders back, stomachs in. We are reminded to keep this posture all day long as its just a good core exercise period. Also, she is really big into planks! If you haven't tried it, get started!

Just finished the 5k. I am by no means a great runner, took me 38 minutes, but it's been on my bucket list and I'm glad I did it. Mini triathlon over Labor Day I'd like to do but might have to be the swimmer or biker on a team instead of doing it individually. Just hope I'm not thinking too BIG, but there's always next year, right? Maybe I could be one of the gals running in a sports bra! Hahaha

The stress level in my house is on high. My husband is on edge. We seem to be bickering a lot about nothing. I of course just cry! My nerves are spent. To be honest, I wish he wasn't coming with me. He doesn't want me to have this done and I honestly think he was expecting me to back out by now. I'm scared I'm not going to have loving arms and smiles to wake up to, but more of a pissed off grumpy driver. Hes only staying home with me for three days and then im on my own. I have a lump in my throat, trying not to cry just writing this. ;( It's hard when you want something so bad for yourself but you have to remember you're part of a team.

Four days to go! Please send me warm thoughts.

By this time tomorrow I will be close to leaving the hotel and heading to the center! Alls I can say is holy crap, holy crap, holy crap. My emotions are more like a storm then a roller coaster! I work until 7:00 tonight....bet it will be a productive day. Lol! We have a long car ride ahead of us to Iowa., but everything is ready to pack icluding a Blanket, pillows, soda crackers, meds, and sick pail. I'm going to the grocery store over my lunch break.
Hubby is better. I took the advice of my friends on this forum and talked to him about the importance of this to me. He just has a hard time understanding how I feel when I see myself naked. His reasoning is exactly why I don't want others to know. I'm not overweight, in fact I'm thin, but that doesn't mean I'm happy. A person can still look okay without being okay. I workout everyday!! I do this because it's important to me. I want to feel good and look good. Just because my stomach doesn't hang over my pants doesn't mean it's not a disgusting mess of loose skin covered in stretch marks!. Thin people can have issues, too! Aaahhh! I'm venting and I'm tearing up because I'm feeling misunderstood and guilty! More later. Emotional right now? Ugh, yep!

I'm home. Longcar ride but I slept most of the way. Worst part for me right this minute is how tight the binder is. Feels like an elephant is sitting on me. The staff said two people put it on so it's very tight. I have to leave it on like this for two more days. Could cry but I'm not taking any chances and loosening it. Two days will be here and gone soon. Coughing from my cold hanging on from last week, but figuring out how do it without using stomach muscles. Went potty twice now, once walked there alone. More later I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open. Oh,
Iift chair and toilet seat are my abolsolut best friends.
It's 5:30 am. Emptied my drains. I'm at 25 cc on both sides. Going to the bathroom every four so getting lots of practice getting up and out of the chair. From my chair to our bathroom is no big deal but when I stood to empty the drains I nearly vomitted, became dizzy and nauesious scared me silly!

Perhaps the best news of all is that my husband has been amazing! Yahoo. And thank God!

Took a shower and it felt amazing, but I don't think I want to do that again for awhile as it wiped me out. Putting the garments back on was extremely painful. So glad to have a shower chair in the there. The rubber stretch band was also a great idea to hook the drains to. My drains are at the sides of my hips not In front of my vajayjay so they are very manageable. I've been laying in bed most the day questioning what the hell i did!. I'm in terrible pain, probably mostly the lipo. I added the butt so you can imagine how difficult it's been to sit. My chair is layered in pillows trust me, but back to the shower! I saw myself naked and for the first time in 23 years I am proud of my figure. My boobs are perfect( for me), no aug, just lift and I finally have a belly button that doesn't look like a deformed butthole! I'm smiling from ear to ear! Can't wait to see what another week behind me will look like! So for now, I'm putting up with the discomfort.

So one nipple looks lower than the other in the picture. I'm going to wait it out before panicking. Could be swelling, could more of the way I am holding my arms behind my back. My other line of thinking is that at this point I don't really care because only my husband will be seeing my boobs this close. My new other problem which will go away soon is the itching in my legs. Holy cow that's driving e crazy. Okay, way to groggy to be writing right now. Auto correct on my iPad is definitely a life saver. I will write more later,

I have quite the mini pharmacy at my disposal right now. The dr prescribed cephalexin, Valium and Vicodin. I have my multivitamins, oxycodone from a pervious family members surgery and morphine. I had felt i wasnt getting much relief from the hydros and remember my son was allowed to alternate the hydro and oxys ever two hours. In addition I have Bromelian, arnica Montana gels and arnica cream. What should I be taking and when? Help! Can I take the arnica with all the pain meds or is that to be taken once I stop them? I should probably call the pharmacist but know I will hear back from you ladies faster with a general idea.

Today hasnt been so bad. I've spent five days in a lift recliner tickled to death with it but got a bug in my head about wanting to be back in a bed. I decided I would just do that. Laying flat hurt and turning over on my sides hurt from the lipo and the drains. I wished I had thought this through better so what did I do? Tried to figure out how to get up and out ended up crying and had to ask my daughter to pull me out. Went to the fridge to find yogurt and discovered the kids ate it all so made a PB sandwich but shared most of it with my spoiled begging dogs. Haven't taken much for meds but have had a headache all day long...wondering if it's from not taking any meds. I feel like I've been swinging or have been riding a merry-go-round...dizzy like that. Tried taking a shower. Dang that really takes a lot out of you. I was wiped out! Stil very happy with my new boobies. They aren't big..no aug and probably wont consider it. I'm bruising like crazy on my thighs. Inside, outside and the backs. Not sure what I got for the extra $500 I paid to help out my flat butt but it looks worse then when I started. The lipo is the worse pain by far. Didn't have any around my back or flanks or tummy, just my legs and as I mentioned earlier it kills me to sit on the potty. Thank God for strong quads to hold me up. The worse part of my day was my husband's comment about what I've done all day. He believed he heard from one of the nurse during my recovery period that I should be pretty much back to not to normal by day five...which is today. If you remember he has not been in favor of me doing this. He clearly is in the mind set this is for me and my deal and a complete waist of money and downtime. Not trying to start something but just want to vent he built a man shed this winter, complete with kitchen, bath and shower and livingroom loft area to keep his three sports cars,Harley, jet skis and many other toys in of which he never even uses because he works all of the time...but I will keep my mouth shut because this is for me! Yes, I'm frustrated! Hoping for a better day tomorrow. Would just be nice not to be so sore from the bruising. Nite ladies! Oh, one more thing... Not a single check up or follow up call from my ps or staff to see if all is okay. Isn't that sweet? 14k doesn't buy much in customer service these days, huh?

I forgot to mention I actually measured my boobs. In the picture I uploaded it looks as though one is bigger or the nipple is higher which totally freaked me out, but it must have been the way I was holding my arms behind my back. They are both the same! Whew!

I think my dog is going through depression not being able to sit on my lap. Anyone else have those kind of dogs where right next to you isn't close enough?

I've slept most the morning. Can't seem to shake that dizzy feeling. I'm glad I have a delux walker with a seat just in case I would need to sit when I am up and moving around. Ask me if I care if I look like a granny...NOT. If I didn't mention it before now. I am 100% thrilled I have it. Totally saves my back.

Today is day six PO. I've had two showers. Would love to have one everyday but it's just way too much work putting everything back on. Read from someone else their dr said to keep compression garment on and blow dry it. I'm going to do that tomorrow. It's just so nice outside that I think I will sit out on the deck and let my hair and cg dry in the fresh air!

Havent had much of an appetite. Haven't weighed myself either though. Dr. Said they took 2100cc of fat. I think that's like 4 lb's, but I will confirm that on thursday. Hoping to get these drains out then too. I'm a methodical thinker. Like checklists to make sure I'm doing things right or on schedule, but there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason as to when they can or should be removed except what the doctor decides that day. Guess it will just be a surprise! Ha...well maybe it won't be funny.

Does anyone else know about the stitches? Do they come out the same day?

Okay, so seriously when does the tight burning feeling of doing 1000 crunchesand planks go away in the middle abs? And the lipo to the legs. I feel like I've been beat up by a gang, kicked when I was down., I would call it a good day if I could just plop on the toilet without lowering myself ever so slowly as if on a wench.

Okay, so seriously when does the tight burning feeling of doing 1000 crunches and planks go away in the middle abs? And the lipo to the legs. I feel like I've been beat up by a gang, kicked when I was down., I would call it a good day if I could just plop on the toilet without lowering myself ever so slowly as if on a wench. And as long as I'm complaining, holy crap, my back is killing me! I'm in serious tears ladies.

I'm back home......and......the drains are out! Yippee! I have to admit I had NO IDEA that the drains are anything like they are. I thought the were tubes inserted a couple of inches into your body some how. Why didn't anyone tell me what they were? for those of you as clueless as me It didn't hurt, burned more after they were out but holy crap! It's like 12 inches of a white flat wide strip of holes and they pull it out of you like a tapeworm, or something. You can see it and feel it. My whole body started shaking and she said the muscle will sometimes spasm. So, I guess what I'm saying is I was not prepared for what I experienced but happier then heck to get it over with. Once it was over it wasn't so bad.

On to the next thing I wasn't prepared for. My Dr. said it was fine to shower so I of course did. When he removed the steri strips there was a foul smell! I was like OMG. What's that? He said the trapped moisture from showering mixed with the blood and discharge will usually cause an odor after a few days time. I was simply grossed out. Once they were off the odor was gone , but seriously? I'm standing there naked, cha cha unsaved, scars, stitches and steri strip, shaking from the drains being removed... I was a MESS. But I guess I just have to laugh.

I will take pix tomorrow and post them. He said scars looked great, swelling was minimal and he was very happy with everything. He wants me to not put anything on the scars the first week then start using Mederma on week two. As far as activity he said he doesn't want. Me to do anything that would raise my heart rate up for a month which includes carry laundry, vacuuming, fast walking... The slower I take it the best chance I am giving my body to heal and have the best results,

Binder and compression garment. Continue for another three weeks. I discovered I was wearing the binder way to high and it needed to be low enough to cover my scar. I had been wearing it higher because I didn't want it rubbing against it or touching the drain tubes. Feels much better the way he showed me to wear it correctly again. Said there was no need to go out and by spanx or anything other than what I am currently wearing unless I wasn't comfortable, I don't mind them so I'm not going to spend the extra to have something different...maybe a backup from Kohls while I wash these would be a nice idea though.

As far as the lipo. He said it may take a month or more to actually see a difference. That stinks cuz I'm not a real patient person. Still bruised as hell and definitely where I continue to feel the most pain.

I asked if the new girls would change much in loos over the next few months and he said he didn't feel I had much swelling at all so what I'm seeing now is mostl likely what I'm getting! Sweet!

that's my day in a nutshell. Pix tomorrow.

http://www.ucsfhealth.org/education/guidelines_for_a_low_sodium_diet/index.html
I'm a terrible eater as I mentioned so I goggled low sodium foods. Just in case anyone else was interested in a better way to watch their sodium intake I thought I would share with ya.

i'm updating only pix in swimsuits for now. my daughter took these last night at 8 days PO First day with no drains. I tried taking pix of the scars today after my shower but i only have an ipad to do that right now and its not an easy device to do self portraits on, ha! i will try to get something up soon. wish i had an iphone but my kids keep taking the upgrades and i keep upgrading to their old phones. Im the only one in the house without a data package. hmm?

i think my stomach scar looks good. i unfortunately have a few stretch marks that were above my belly button that are just always going to be there. Guess I will think of it as my trophy scar for having such beautiful kids. Not sure about the boobies yet. Scars are pretty raw and scary. Last night my husband was looking at the before pictures posted on here and he said he actually missed those boobs. He told me to never delete those photos. i am of course thinking, yuck! Seriously? He said he liked the big nipples and the larger size. Apparently length wasn't an issue to him. i wonder if implants will be in my future however i believe my ps said he doesn't do augs for 6 months after lifts. Might be a Christmas gift, huh? Too early to tell or worry about for now though.

Day 9 today and Im still pretty tired. i don't like being on my feet too long. Showers absolutely exhaust me. We have several graduations to go to tomorrow and I just don't see that happening. I'm walking slow and not exactly upright and i can tell you i will be the talk of the town. i'm pretty emotional this week,too. I just start crying for silly reasons

Looking forward to day 10 as everyday is supposed to get better, right?

Let me know what you think of swimsuits. Keep them, return them? Im counting on you being honest?

I have had a very protective day in the world of TT's, ( this is my opinion of productive of course. lol) First, it was the first day I slept the entire night in my bed next to my husband. Jammed packed with pillows of course. I'm still very soar sleeping on my sides so its a revised version, more of a tilt I would call it. I cant figure out how to actually get out though as we moved the recliner right next to the bed leaving no room to swing my legs over.. The worse part of my stomach is the tightness above my belly button. I cant lift myself straight up from a laying position so he has helped pull me up each time i needed to get out of bed. Second, I folded towels. I was sitting of course but thats the most ive done in house work for 11 days. I also went for a walk...are you ready???...all the way down the street to the second mailbox and back without the walker. Held my husband hand and with the other hand helf my back. Ha. Thirdly, I sat outside for about 20 minutes watching the kids play with the dogs, even took pictures. I went all out and ordered pizza from Casey's tonight for supper. Planning on eating just one peice. Wish me luck on that. Tonight my husband is going to take me on a short drive just to get out. Bet I will be asleep by 8:00. Anyway, I know its not much but its 100 percent more then any other day I have had so far. By sharing it I want others to know who also aren't moving so quickly that day by day it's getting better just like everyone else promised it would. Tomorrow might be a total bust, but I will take today. Love ya all! Oh, and good luck to all the ladies this week. Thinking of you and remember we are all here for you.

Not sure I'm still happy with the girls. I think one nipple is off center, like not in the middle of my breast, but more like there is more areola at the bottom then the top of where the nipple is. I think his cookie cutter was off center. Could be too early to tell though as the stitches haven't disolved and it's still scabby around the outside. On the same breast the nipple isn't as erect as the other and thirdly, as long as I'm complaining, I liked the size when they were swollen. Bummer. It especially bums me out because my husband is such a boob man. They are standing, gotta love that but I'm guessing I will be going from a saggy D to more of a small c. I'm not saying I wouldn't ever get implants, but didn't want to consider it at my age. Whats the average life of an implant anyway?

So, how long does it take on average for the tightness in the upper abs to relax? Man, I feel like something is just anchoring me down.

Can we talk parenting? I have a soon to be 21 daughter with a beautiful body. She has been home from college only about a week more then the day of my surgery. Ever since day two she has completely ignored me later explaining I was annoying her with the help I needed. She was the only one in the house as everyone else was at school or work. We have always been extremely close. Her attitude and display of anything but compassion has me all torn up inside. When I showed her the picture I had posted in my swimsuit her only comment was, " uh, where did you get that? VS cuz I was getting one like that? Nothing about the change in my body. She has also become extremely obsessed with working out and eating only healthy foods. I have cried for days about her treatment to me. Even in the same room she won't acknowledge me. I'm not sure if she is mad I did this, but there is no way she would have a need to be jealous. She has a rockin model's body. I just can't figure it out, unless she sees this as a competion or something crazy like that. Yesterday I told her I was sorry she was so inconvenienced by me but she had some decisions to make about her summer residence because I refused to be ignored by my own daughter in my house just because I did something for myself. She still hasn't talked to me and I'm an emotional mess. These are the times when guilt sets in wondering if you did the right thing. Thanks for listening, ladies.

Ahhh. Pictures are not always a good thing, epecially when i months ahead of me to heal. I know I shouldn't judge what I see now as the final result. The one breast concerns me though so I am sending a picture tomorrow. Anybody have any trouble like this? Its like the stitch came out too early and it didn't have time to heal or something.

I've given my share of speeches in regard to flanks and the worries of others.. its probablY just swelling, give your body time to heal..blah, blah, blah. It's different when your husband says,"now what about that part, will that stay like that?". Now I can't quit looking at it and wondering if it's going to be that noticeable. Omg, am I looking at another procedure? Crazy thoughts running through my head.

I actually said something to my ps about doing my flank area and he said I had nothing there to do. I think now that the TT is done and I look smaller through the waist that area just seems so much more pronounced. I'm hoping it's swollen but I'm thinking it's all mine the way it is! I will definitely step up the walking and running first before ever considering lipo again. Dang, that takes a bite out of ya! I go on Thursday for my second post op. I'm not happy about a couple of things. I think I have a dog ear at the end of the incision of my LB plus that's the one where I think so many stitches didn't hold and I have wide gaps. I also measured the placement of the nipple within the areola and it's all messed up. Going clockwise starting at 12:00 from center of nipple, 20 mm, 3:00:20mm, 6:00: 27mm, and at 9:00 :15mm. That, ladies doesnt add up to be centered. Did i also tell you its flat, not coned shaped? Anyone have experiece with that? Does it eventually change? Also, im asking him about the left area of my tt scar. It either has raised scar areas or has three small dog ears as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with so much of what he did, but for this kind of money, I expect near perfection. At least I can cover it up with a cute swimsuit. Oh, I also spent $ to have Botox and juvederm to the deep frown lines on my forehead and the lines between my nose and mouth. One side looks great, the other side is bette then where i started, but less then as good as the other side. I inquired about my results and was answered back in the tone that it was something to do with my face not the way it was administered. This could interesting. I have an appointment set up to talk with their skin care consultant about the Obaji skin care line. This could potentially add up to more $ spent in their office, but I will be damned if I spend another dime if everything I have concerns about will have to be fixed at my expense!

My daughter called from college town all in a dither. She had highlights addes to her hair and hated it. Guess who she cried to and needed help with what to do now? Guess who helped her because that's what moms do?

I had my my 3 week PO on Thursday. Came armed with a list of questions which were answered nearly the same way with each panic I have/ had.. "you look great for three weeks. This is a process. You're body is going to change every week in the next 3 to even 6 months.". He wasn't laughing at me but I felt I could read in his calm smile. He must have been thinking, here's another woman who lacks any sort of patients and who is wondering why the Cinderella body hasn't emerged already after 21 days! more tomorrow. I'm finally tired.

Still not sure about the boobies. The swelling is going down and I am afraid they are too. I hate this waiting game. Expecting two new suits in the mail tomorrow. Will post a few more pix covered up if they fit.

Had a very busy weekend. Cant believe the difference a week makes. Nine kids overnight for my daughters 13 bday. Lots of fun until a gentlemen wondered in our backyard slightly intoxicated saying he was looking for a dear. Girls were sitting around a bonfire supposed to be sleeping in the camper...ended up in the living room. lol.

This is my last week home before going to work. Think I will be just fine.

Had a reflexology appointment last wednesday, deep tissue massage of my neck, shoulders, and back last Thursday and going tomorrow for a lymph massage. Trying all of the tricks.

Love hearing everyone's stories. Thanks for making the May ladies extra special!

Had my second reflexology appointment today. That is an amazing thing. It's unbelievable how the nerves in your feet connect exactly to where my body is hurting. Also did the lymph massage. Very nice. A tad strange having another woman massage my girls, but I got over it. Came right home and took another Epson soak. I'd say it's been a pretty good day of taking care of me. Still annoyed with the oldest daughter...maybe I should say she is still annoyed with me. Makes life tough in your own home when you're ignored. oh wait! I have my dogs and they love me. They haven't ignored me once, but they are patiently waiting for their long walks to begin again.

Signed up for another 5k on October 6th called the Color Run? Ever heard of it? My youngest daughter, several of her friends and their mom's are all doing it. Might walk the entire thing. Hopefully it will be hot enough to run in a white sports bra. Just kidding. If you've never done it, Google it and look for one near you.

New swimsuits came today. Not sure what to think. Im at the stage in this recovery process where I am really picking myself apart. Why cant I just be happy. It's a nice improvement and I know I am still changing. I wasn't going for Barbie, just a better me, but now I look at my boobs thinking they could be better, my arms are losing shape (okay, back to dips and pushups) my flanks are really bothering me...Instead of looking at whats going on good, Im concentrating on all of the other imperfections. STOP the stinkin thinkin and be happy, right?

28 days PO tomorrow. According to my ps I can ditch the binder and go to stage two, except I like this better then anything I have bought so far, so it might hang around a little longer. Love the easy potty thing for sure. Funny story, though. Many nights I slept in just the binder no other pants. A few of the nights I slept with a pair of shorts on over it. Not once, not twice, but three different times I got up to go potty and was so tired or medicated I forgot about the shorts and just peed...getting a little too used to not having something to pull down before sitting. lol.

Big day yesterday, Exactly one month from the day of surgery, my husband and I took 6 kids to an amusement park with rides and water slides. I didn't partake in the ride adventure but sure enjoyed myself at the waterpark in my two piece! Funny how obsessed I was with looking at other women and how surprisingly judgmental I was. ie.. "Wow, she could really use a TT and new boobs". I did come to realize this, however. There are a lot of people, both men and women, who are obviously comfortable in their own skin. So so many different body types. I don't think I've ever paid as much attention to other people's bodies as I did yesterday. I think i was truly blown away at how many people are over weight, big tummies, saggy boobs, heavy thighs. It's a tough concept for me as I care a great deal about my physical appearance, hence exercising and wearing clothing that hides my flaws. I started feeling a tad guilty about the money I spent, the obsession about all my self determined flaws, everything I put my family through just trying to look better. Wow! What a selfish move on my part. It's definitely a great lesson in realizing we are all so different, morals, values and goals. What's important to me and right for me certainly may not have even entered the mind of another. I need to promise myself to keep this realization up front in my mind. This is about me. I'm so happy I want to shout it to everyone ( okay, only strangers and no one I know..ha). But, I need to remember that even though this journey has provided me with the confidence I had been lacking, i need to stay humble and grateful and in tune to it was the right decision FOR ME! No need to look at anyone else.

So, another note. What does 30 days feel like after TT/ MR, BL and lipo? Oops someone's at the door.. Answer to that question later. Ha

First week back to work. I loved being around the people but I'm on my feet all day and hurting by the time I get home. I start out like a bouncy ball and come home deflated. Lol. this is a very tricky stage of recovery. You think you are feeling better then your body may be ready for. I still feel very bruised within. My skin hurts to touch it under my breasts and all through the middle of my stomach. Kinda like the feeling of a sunburn with a bruise underneath. I'm guessing it's the nerves firing back up. I don't go back for a check up until the 29. I'm scared to death to try any sort of exercising at this point. Kind of in the mind frame of there's no need to rush it. My body will tell me when and how much. I feel great about the procedure. I'm a little disappointed I didn't do my flanks but I'm not even sure it would have been worth the trouble. I don't tolerate pain and it sounds like that's a tough area to recover. I'm surprised I'm not in a better mood, like giddy happy. There's a part of me that seems a little depressed. Maybe it's the healing part, the long recovery with the swelling, some pain, the compression garments and the waiting of the final results in the months to come.

Lots planned for fathers day tomorrow. He definitely deserves something for all he's done these past few weeks!
Have a great weekend, Ladies!

I forgot I wanted to post measurements. I have lost a total of 20.5 inches, that's doubling legs though.

Bust -2.25 (really didn't need that but small and perky is better then LONG)

Waist -1.25 (You can see by my before pix that I had a nice curve for a waist already. I currently have a 28 inch waist. That has always been an assets of mine. Stinks however that pants never fit very well cuz I would have to buy them bigger to fit my butt and thighs. Sometimes a small waist can make your butt look bigger too!)

Abdomen -6.75 of loose skin! Yes!

Hip -2.75 this changed more then I thought.

Thighs -7.5 for both

I also wanted to share that not all husbands are instantly into this transformation. My husband didn't want me to do this. He said he thought I was beautiful the way I was. He honestly can not see/understand how I felt about myself. I showed him my before naked pictures and told him to look at them. I said tell me honestly what's attractive about this?? He then pulled up pictures I had taken of my stomach and boobs during this healing process and he said back to me, tell me what's attractive about this? I held back tears. He hates the scars and reminded me I did this for myself not for him. I have become less attractive to my husband... Not more attractive. I read how fantastic other women's spouses are to them during the very tough first three weeks. Washing their hair, helping with drains and meds, taking weeks off to help, going to PO appointments. Not everyone gets that dream either. I'm not saying any of this to be down or negative. I just think its important to know that this is no joke of a surgery. It's expensive, it's taxing on you mentally and physically, as well as, on your family and for some of you it may not be all peaches and cream. I had very little go wrong procedure wise.. I can't imagine what a nightmare it might have been had I not been so lucky. Everything that has gone wrong for me is the support side of things. No compliments, no one interested in my milestones good, bad or indifferent and any help that was there is long gone after the first week or two. Many moms are the ones taking care of the family. The fun of taking care of mom, the laundry, the dishwasher, the pets, the vacuuming, the yard...wears off very quickly. The family wants you back to your usual duties. I'm really sounding like a downer here. I truly apologize. We prepare for the big day in so many ways. I wasn't prepared for what comes after.

Today is exactly 2 months! The time has flown by and I'm very happy with everything. Hard to imagine when you are recovering those first three weeks that you will be close to normal at the two month mark. Better define close to normal...ha! I can do almost anything without pain, but I am still very guarded. I haven't tried an extensive workout or ab exercises. I'm still walking and jogging in intervals. I do cardio and light weight intervals as well. I have gone on a few bike rides without any trouble. I've stayed on land instead of riding our jet skis. Gearing up for a week long motorcycle trip in a few weeks. Still swelling at the end of the day, especially if I haven't had my cg on. Danced at a wedding and my husband tried to dip me back...yeah, that didn't go so well. Sneezing is a burning bitch so I try to stop that at all costs...looks pretty silly I'm sure. If I tence up quickly I feel a dull pain and burn through my lower abs. As everyone says, each day and every week just gets better and better.

The scars: still red but much better. I started using Medirma at three weeks and scar away silicone sheets at around five weeks. No science behind five weeks, it just took me that long and a spontaneous trip to Walgreens to decide to try it.

Breasts are small but so so very sweet! Nothing hangs!! Had a girlfriend comment on them from a picture of me in a swimsuit, " Did you get new boobs? They look great!". I just laughed and said, "Ha, noooo.. Look at me, I'm smaller than you!". Technically they aren't new, just brought back to standing, right, ladies? Not sure if I will ever get implants at my age so small and perky just might be good enough. I really liked their size right after surgery when they were a bit swollen. There not much different now, so I'm not complaining. I was concerned at first about the left nipple being flat but it has taken shape thank God! Scars on the left side are wider in places then the right side. That bums me out but I'm hoping they will fade. I have found that its still important to massage them on a regular basis. If I don't, they get sorta hard in places and can be very sensitive, especially when hugging people. (Lots of hugging at the wedding we went to)

Lipo is still sore in places but only when I rub it. it was the worst of the three things I did, but worth it.

My relationship still seems to be struggling. My husband has told me on numerous occasions how beautiful he thinks I am, but there is this fog still learking between us and quick comments such as," don't you wish you would have left things alone?" thrown out by him every now and then. Time will hopefully heal all things.

It's very easy to pick myself apart after the surgery. Before I had the MM I thought I was targeting ALL the things about myself that I didn't like. Now that the healing is going well and the improvements are so wonderful, I am finding all kinds of other flaws I would love to have "touched up". That's more of a dream then a reality, however. For one, I don't have the support at home to go through any other procedures, two, there are a million other things to spend money on and three, it's important to see the beauty within and not obsess with the outward appearance. PS can be addictive. I'm happy with my outcome and I'm happy with who I am! I'm going to take all my blessing and run with it!