Hi Everyone! I am having my MM with BA/BL, TT w/MR...
Hi Everyone! I am having my MM with BA/BL, TT w/MR and lipo of flanks in just 8 days, on 9/18 at 10:30am. I have finally decided I needed to start sharing my experience, as I am so grateful for all that I have learned on this site and hope I can help others and gain some support, as I am not telling anyone about my procedure except my hubby, sister and 2 close friends! I am very open in general and it is really hard for me to not talk about it constantly, but really feel that it is best for me to share instead with this community versus having it get around the community I live in, as I am not up for everyone knowing.
Anyhow, I am a married 44 year old SAHM of 2 teens, ages 16 and 14. I went for initial consult for BA two years ago (this is when my PS talked to me about doing the TT in addition, as I hadn't really thought about it) .I had been contemplating doing it ever since that first appointment and then took my DH for another consult last year but just could not find the time to be "down" so I just kept waiting, but not really overly excited about doing it because I was also afraid. I then went again this past August and decided to do the MM because I realized that with two very active kids who are involved in a million activities, sports and competitive dance, that it was going to be either the Fall or wait again another year, so I scheduled it!
The funny thing is that after I scheduled it, is when I started researching what it was I actually had signed on for, which was a little impulsive on my part but overall, I knew if I was gonna do it, it had to be soon or wait and a small part of me was excited and didn't want to wait! I also want to just do this once, which is why I chose MM for the best overall outcome!
Here is my motivation:
1. I was a full C cup prior to pregnancy & breast feeding 2 children, 1 year each. They are now an deflated, uneven and mismatched in size 34 B/small C cup. My PS said I was borderline for lift, so I decided to do it because I am getting silicone gel implants, which are heavier and I read they can make you sag some and with the aging process, would rather not go back in anytime soon for a lift and didn't want to risk having them look saggy, which has been kind of my whole movitvation for a BA. PS is going to do the lift hopefully without doing lollipop vertical scar, but I gave him permission to do it if he doesn't like the result of the lift - doughnut style-during surgery, but I really don't want that vertical scar, so hoping I can get my lift without, especially because I was told I was on the cusp of needing a BL. As of now, I am getting 400cc on one and 425cc on the other, under the muscle, but am worried that will be too big, so I am going to call PS tomorrow morning to talk about it once more. It is so hard to understand how the CC's work; I am trying to trust my wonderful PS because he says they won't be too big on my body type but I am so nervous they will be huge based on all I've read and I don't want to look top heavy!! Just want to full C again, maybe ok with small D. I guess I have to figure that one out soon!
2. I am having a full TT with MR. I am praying for low scar, as I am scarless at this point in my life, but my PS's before and after pics have beautiful results and very thin & low scar lines & he says he will make it very low, so I am hoping for the best!! BTW, I am not really afraid of BA/BL; but terrified of TT. I often feel like I am gonna pass out & get light headed when I think too much about it, & if it were not for all of the posts here that generally say it is bearable, then I would have cancelled it. I am also going to have lipo on flanks and tummy and am so happy about the lipo part, as I just cannot stand the tire around my waist and want it gone!!
3. I never really looked at myself negatively except for my weight, which has fluctuated my whole life. I am 5'5 and weigh about 145, which is about 10 pounds from where I would like to be. I gain weight pretty easily and went up 60lbs after each pregnancy and have never been back to my pre-pregancy weight of 130. I have a healthy diet, work out regularly with trainer, pilates, yoga and running and am in really good cardiovascular shape and very strong, just can't seem to get some of the fat off, which I know will continue to require good diet and exercise. I am hoping that after my MM I will look at my body more positively and not feel so self-conscious about saggy deflated boobies and poochy tummy!
What I'm feeling:
I'm extremely nervous and feel sick when I think about it. Mainly because of the conflict that this is an elective procedure and I am choosing to do something that could have a really bad outcome and that conflict is wearing me down. I know many others have been in this place, but I just don't want to leave my kids at my own doing. I know the chances of not waking up are so slim, but I can't help but go there. I have a strong faith and am not afraid of dying, just don't want to leave my children without a mom. Then I think I am just getting all worked up and dramatic and need to settle down, so ultimately I think I should start taking the Ativan the PS prescribed to help me with my nerves this week and start praying a lot more for peace. I believe very much in prayer and hope that in this community, I will have others who will keep me in their prayers, as I am not willing to email all the normal people I would to pray for me because of my choice to keep my MM private. The problem with all this fear is that it is taking away the excitment that pops up now and again (mainly when I read a wonderful recovery post on RS!!).
Because I am so fearful of the pain, etc., my DH and I have decided I am going to stay at the surgical hospital in the recovery suites for 2 nights for sure and add a 3rd night if needed. I am then going to a very nice hotel for 2 more nights, where my sister will come and stay with me and I can continue to rest and not be "found out," hahaha, because my house is the go-to house for all my teenage kids friends and I am friends with many of the parents and just want to hide out the first week, plus knowing I am going to be able to completely relax and be cared for helps my worried hubby and I feel less stressed out! I am telling everyone I am going out of town and the following week going to say I am home sick. I will have to figure out week 3's excuse when I get there!
I am now going out to do some MM errands and will come back and list all the things I am doing and buying to be prepared for my recovery. I have taken some pre op pics and will try to upload them now too. I am really modest and it is super embarrassing to post these, so I will try my best to leave them up and not remove them, haha, but like I said, I am doing it because I feel soooo grateful to those before me and want to return the favor!!
Is it unrealistic to think I might be okay to...
Is it unrealistic to think I might be okay to attend a black tie wedding 11days post op?? I have been trying to find a dress in case I am feeling well enough to go & one that will work in case I'm swollen, but its so hard not knowing what recovery will be like, everyone seems to have such different experiences! Maybe I'm being too optimistic & unrealistic in thinking that i will be up for a dressy night out after 11days, especially since so many have said to not push doing too much to reduce set backs, i think maybe i should just decline; just feeling bad to miss it! I'm just not sure what "too much" is...??
I am always curious how all of the mommies do it.....
I am always curious how all of the mommies do it....scheduling a lengthy down time for recovery when most that I know rarely sit down! My life as a SAHM is pretty much about staying flexible and being ready, on any given day, to have my plans completely change for a million different reasons that usually involve my kids, their appointments, school projects, managing their busy schedules, etc., etc., etc. Now that one is driving, figuring out my own plan for my MM recovery seems less stressful, I just remember so well those days when they needed so much hands on care & feel for the mommies who are trying so hard to rest & heal, it is so hard to do when the kiddos are small!!
Anyhow, I got involved in a school project that blew up two few weeks ago and I volunteered, even thoughthe crisis did not even anything to do with me, to help lead the fixing of the problem, nit really knowing the effort it would entail. After 2 weeks of stress and very little sleep, I woke up sick yesterday, burning throat and stuffy nose. Today sore throat is gone but still so stuffy and maybe sinus infection. I could just kick myself for getting so wrapped up in this situation, as i was really just trying to resolve it so no one would need anything from me after my MM date this Tuesday, 9/18, but instead I stupidly ran myself into the ground and am now hoping I don't have to reschedule my MM. I Cried all morning thinking about it & being mad at myself, so wanted to share that it is important for all of us to really take care for ourselves preop too! Or maybe you all know this already and I just was in deinal that i had a big surgery scheduled and needed to actually sleep and prepare! So, All my plans the past few weeks to clean, organize and get my recovery stuff & household in order just didnt happen. If I can still get my MM on 9/18, I will just have to accept that life will go on in our little household, maybe not as smooth as i planned & everyone will have to pitch in a bit more because i just couldnt get it all done! Instead, I am now in bed, 4 days Pre-Op, just hoping I can get better and go in on Tuesday & get this done already! I blew it and am now paying the price, just wished I would have learned the magic words, "No, I can't help/fix it/do it" when i decided it was my job to fix sonething that i didnt break!! O'well...my point being that I hope everyone rests up before their surgeries and can into their day 100% because it is nerve wracking enough when your well, let alone doing it under the weather! My PS says i should be ok if no fever, but not sure if i can be on an antibiotic 3 days before if i have a sinus infection and need meds! I will call in AM & find out, because i am getting that yucky sinus infection feeling tonight. O yea, and cramps too, so looks like my irregular period will also be a part of the plan week! Such an emotional & frustrating few days :(
After being sick for 4 days, I am recovered and...
After being sick for 4 days, I am recovered and cleared for my surgery tomorrow morning! I will be getting there bright and early, at 5:45 AM and go in at 7:30. The time has just flown by and I had enough blow-ups in my life the past 3 weeks that I wondered if it would actually happen!
Today has been busier than I thought, running around more than I wanted, but it has been good to keep me distracted. Last night I slept for about 4 hours and am thinking tonight may be worse, but I know at least after tomorrow, I will get to rest and make up for it. I am just hoping and praying for the good recovery so many of our lucky ladies on this site have reported!
Good morning Ladies, slept about 4 hours and just...
18 Sep 2012
Day of treatment
Good morning Ladies, slept about 4 hours and just got up, showered for the 7th day with that Hibiclens and freed myself of all jewlery, lotions and perfumes. I check in at 5:45am and my procedure is at 7:30 and sould be about a 5 hour procedure. I will post when I can, as I am not sure what kind of shape I will be in today. I felt busy,busy last night with lots of energy, but thankfully, very calm this morning and trust I will be cared for well. Please say a prayer! Looking forward to sharing my post op experience!
When I arrived at the hospital my PS marked my...
When I arrived at the hospital my PS marked my body and had me bring in a low cut underwear or bathing suit bottom so he could draw rhe insicion line where i would like it. They wheeled me into the OR and the next thing i knew I was waking up and couldnt believe it was over! It was just a sureal experince after a tough week prior to my MM when I got a bad cold and had many sleepless nights of worry, definitey the worst part was waiting!
I woke up afer 6 hour sugery and was watched in the recovery unit. From there, they wheeled me up to the recovery suites, where I will spend 3 nights. I feel so grateful that I didn't have any of the horrific pain that some experinced. I think what made a big differenence was that I had an IV going straight into my abdomen and kept me numb. I just felt sore in breasts, not really any feeling where i had lipo TT.
I used my pain pump all night and woke up still with very little pain. Plus i had a cathter so I didnt need to get up and pee and compression units sqeezing at my calves made it so i could lay in bed and doze all day. Unfortunately, Later this afternnon, they removed the pain pump and instead placed another form of direct pain relief called on-Q, does anyone have it, it comes in a little black fanny pacj and inserted in abs? and i also just started on Percoset, anti anxiety (to relax muscles), antiinflammatory, antbiotoc and anti-nasea. The best news of all for me was that my PS was able to do my B/L w/silicone implants and insert them through the aeriola without making an incision underneath or vertical, yay! Anyhow, as of now, i am completely happy about feeling the way i do, i was terrified that the pain woud be unbearable and it's not, its been very managable. I am pretty groggy and need to sleep but will definitely report about PO day 2!
I have just returned home after my MM last...
I have just returned home after my MM last Tuesday, 9/18, so today I am 5 days PO. I will briefly summarize the past week, both physical & emotional recollection (although those pain meds were strong!)
Surgery day to day 2PO- my surgery lasted about 5 hours. I was heavily medicated and barely remember anything, just sleeping alot! I spent two nights in the surgical hospital and did not experience any type of complications. Was comfortable on meds and was able to self administer the pain meds allowing for 1 dose into the IV every 9 minutes, so I was very sedated. I had two drains placed below my incision and another portable pain med called an On-Q.
Day 2 PO-my PS removed my binder and put me in a compression garment and I was discharged from the hospitaland was headed to a nearby hotel where many of my PS's patients go to recover and my sister was meeting me there to help. My hubby had kid duty and was running all over the place between me and the taking care of them. I continued to take the pain meds and slept alot at the hotel. Barely had an appetite and just felt tired. What finally woke me up was in the evening when i had to cough and when it happened i thought maybe I popped something and it hurt really bad. I kept having to cough, I think from anesthesia, and thanks to some wonderful ladies on this site, I started getting up more and moving, drinking tea and drinking ginger ale and was able to get the coughs out a little better & without as much pain. I slept in hotel bed with lots of pillows all around, but found it to be very difficult to get comfortable as the numbing wore off.
Day 3 PO-sleeping alot, still pretty medicated but starting to cut back on pain meds because I felt I needed to have a BM but couldnt & narcotics cause constipation. Beginning to feel sore too, but not unbearable. Kind of hard to get in and out of bed on my own but could do it. Was so happy to have ran and purchased a walker the day before surgery because my back hurt really bad where I had lipo and the PS didnt want me upright and the walker allowed me to walk the hallways in hotel which helped with coughing and i knew eventually, the whole BM I was hoping would happen sooner than later.
Day 4 PO- starting to feel badly about BM not happening & having tummy ache and no appetite. Had taken last percoset before bed the night before. Started milk of magnesia in AM and kept waiting for BM to happen. I had started the stool softeners the day before surgery and assumed they would be enough for BM to happen without too much difficulty. I kept thinking I had to go and it wouldn't happen, at least all the way, so sorry TMI, but it was awful to keep trying to go and then not have it happen and this process went on intensly for about 4 hours. I was miserable and thought there was no way i could handle the pain and discomfort. My sister got me a suppository and I waited for it to work and completely reached a low point when i just had more of the same experience of it just not happening and physically felt thAt my TT sutures were possibly being compromised by accidentaly straining abs to go and all of the movements that resulted from my horrible discomfort. This whole time, I was still in my crotchless CG and wondered if the constriction of it was contributing to the difficulty having the BM, but my PS had put me in it PO day 2, and told me not to take it off until our 6 day PO visit, so I was too afraid to take it off. My sister said I looked yellow and terrible and we were about to call the doc when the suppository and everything else finally took effect and the BM happened; thank goodness as I really didn't know how much longer I could physically take it. I was also at an all new mental low, wondering what on earth i was thinking doing this? I was ready to have a complete meltdown about the whole experience. I hadn't even had a visual yet of what i had to look forward to, as I was put immediately from the binder into the CG and I am wrapped in guaze and a very tight top CG piece, so I still have no idea what i look like post op. I also smell, have my period and feel disgusting because my PS said absolutely no shower until my drains come out on Day 10. Thank goodness for my amazing sister, who I dont know how I could have gotten through that day without, who recognized my distress and washed me up with a soapy cloth, washed my hair and helped me feel human again after a day I hope to forget.
Day 5 PO: I checked out of the hotel, said goodbye to my sis and came home to my family, which is the best medicine of all. I am now completely off pain meds, just taking antibiotic, stool softener, and tylenol. I rented a reclining lift chair and am loving that it is so soft and i can use the remote to get myself easily in and out of the chair. I think I pulled something in my armpit this past week because I was using my arm so much to pull myself in and out of the hotel bed the past 3 days. I also feel like my TT incision is stinging & i can't help but wonder if I did anything bad during my horrible BM episode yesterday and also had a coughing spell this AM that hurt tummy so much. I can't really see if any damage is done because I am poured into this garmet that is so tight I can hardly breathe (but PS sAid that is the way it is supposed to fit) and I can't take it off until my PO visit tomorrow. My kids are so sweet and just being around them again has brought my spirits up a lot. My doggies even found a way to squeeze in next to me on the recliner and snuggle a bit, although I think they sense I am kind of off limits right now. It seems there were many ladies who had their surgeries this week and I was amazed at reading their posts and to hear their recoveries going so well! I am also so thankful to those of you who replied to me this week when I posted in a panic about the coughing and painful BM day. I was so sad the past few days I could hardly read any of the blogs, just kept wondering why i did this, but I do know that past RS ladies have said to be prepared for the blues Day 5 & 6 and throuout the post ops weeks when we just need to be restful and down. At least I know its normal and I think after I get to see my results tomorrow at my visit I will hopefully feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel! I will post some post op pics as soon as I can!
It has been awhile since I updated, but...
It has been awhile since I updated, but wanted to make sure I uploaded some PO pics and update my progress. My last update was day 5 PO; however I was posting regularly on the forum and so appreciated all the great feedback and support from all the ladies who helped me get through week 2 and 3!
Here is a recap:
I was a happy camper recovering on pain meds & lots of sleep week one, until I had the horrible BM episode (day 4 PO) and then refused to take the pain meds after that because I was afraid of having another bad experience, bad idea. The end of Week 1 and Week 2 was very challenging, as I could hardly sleep and was very uncomfortable and this caused my emotions to be all over the place and probably slowed down my recovery....as some of you know, I was blogging regularly about the drains that I had in for 17 days post op (they were supposed to come out day 10) and how miserable I was and the pain in my lower back from lipo and being hunched over was the worst, much more so than the TT and BA/BL. Plus I completely overdid my activity level and that added to my discomfort and draining. I went to a black tie wedding day 11 PO and attended several of my kids sporting events that following week, what was I thinking?? I even had to hide my drains under my clothing and keep sitting everywhere I went and pretend I had PMS, so dumb). My PS tried to put me on a different pain med at my one week PO visit that wouldn't constipate as much because he said Extra Strength Tylenol wasn't cutting it and I needed to sleep and be comfortable, but the new pain med made me wired (Viciodin) and I literally was up an entire night the first night I took it. I should have stayed on the Percoset through week 2 and taken extra Milk of Magnesia and stool softeners because I needed the sleep and rest and wish I wasn't so stubborn as I think back. When I finally got my drains out at 17 days PO I was very happy. It was also the start of my feeling better emotionally, as I could shower and I was beginning to regularly be able to walk around almost completely upright. The pics I am posting today are the first day I showered, at 18 days PO, what a great shower...never thought I would enjoy something so much! The reason no shower....PS said he considered drains an open wound into body and would not risk bacteria in water, all PS's are different on this issue it seems. The reason for drain until 17 days PO...my PS said I had to be draining less than 25 cc's in a 24 hour period; otherwise I would run the risk of abdominal fluid retention which could lead to a return to surgery and having fluid removed with a needle...I was happy to cooperate and never pushed to have them out sooner than he recommended. Like I mentioned before, I also think I was doing way to much activity for MY body and recovery and this is why I was draining a lot. If the drains were out too early, I think I would have been in Swell Hell. I think the drains kept me from swelling too much and even now, I have some swelling, but not much.
Many ask about recliners vs. bed...I have been in both, but find that my bed has been more comfortable since about PO day 12 or so....when I could get myself in and out ok. The electric recliner lift hoisted me in and out of the chair and that was nice the end of the first week or so when I got home, when it was hard to get up on my own. I was happy to have both. Plus I like using the recliner during the day so I am not in bed constantly. When I sleep, I use about 8 pillows all around me and under my legs. My back/lipo still hurts, but much less. The past few nights I have been able to lay somewhat flat and also a little on my side, which was really nice. I am a tummy sleeper, so this whole sleeping upright and jack-knifed has been awful. Tummy sleeping is totally off limits due to my BA/BL until the pockets form for the breasts to settle into....so I just have to wait for PS to give me OK to flip over, but he says not likely until 6-8 weeks PO.
Compression garment....I am still in the garments that I was put in PO...I did buy an extra so I could wash and switch. My PS says I can get out of it next week, at 4 weeks PO, and do not need anything else, yay!! I know so many of the ladies go into stage 2 CG's and get spanx or something and he said if I would like too I can, but it isn't necessary. I think I may need to because I can't imaging not having anything keeping me all held together, haha, but nice to know that I can go without if I want after next week! It's funny how much I have come to rely on this sausage link feeling I have in my garment! With regards to my BA/BL, I am in a front zip sports bra 24 hours a day. I can have one hour when I let the girls rest and hang loose and that is sooooo nice! My PS says I need to be in my 24 hour a day sports bras until week 6 PO, so I am on the hunt for a few more. Currently I am in an UnderArmour and Champion front zip, no wires and they are comfy but I need a few that are not racerback so the bra doesn't show in my tops. Oh yea, I could hardly believe that I am a 36 DD right now...pre op I was a 36B/C. I have 378 cc silicone implants placed sub-muscular. My PS says they will shrink as they drop and settle into the pocket under my muscle. I will be happy when they shrink a bit...I hoped to be a full C or small D and I think that is probably where I will end up...they are still just pretty full and swollen. The reason for the 24 hour a day sports bra: My lift was done through my nipples and I need to keep them up & perkey as the pockets are forming, so they need constant support. I was borderline for needing a lift and my PS went into surgery with my permission to do a vertical/lollipop scar if needed, but he was able to do the lift without making that incision and I was a happy girl when I woke up Post Op and he told me. So, to keep the girls perkey I need to follow doctors orders and keep them supported for a full 6 weeks, 24 hours a day.
This week I got my TT and BB stitches out (day 21 PO) but cannot get the stitches around my nipples from BA/BL or in my back from lipo, out until next week, as there is still too much swelling around these sites (and yes, I overdid it AGAIN this past weekend, hosted 50 kids and parents for a school dance pre-party/pics for my son, what was I thinking?..but it was planned along time ago and I THOUGHT I would be further along in recovery!). Otherwise, all incisions are tender and a bit sore, but manageable and seem to improve daily. The one healing malfunction I am having is a lot of bladder sensitivity, which can be a result of anesthesia and pain meds or possible because my TT is pulled very tight and this puts pressure on my bladder, as my incision is pretty low, just above bladder. My PS has said several times that I had a really "tight" TT and it may take me a little longer than usual to stand up straight, so I told him I would thank him later! For now, I have been given a referral to a urologist, just to be safe, but PS thinks it will improve as I heal. I hope so. I have clean urine when I had a culture done and no UTI, but bladder continues to be sensitive and I feel like I have to pee when I lay back and tummy pressure on it increases. Most of the PS's on this site have said it isn't a permanent issue and can be helped by urologist if it was caused by anesthesia and pain meds. So I will have that appointment next week and hopefully it won't be anything too serious.
My DH: He has been wonderful and a great caretaker. I have said in my review and in my blogs that I stayed in the hospital 2 nights and recovered in a hotel my PS has patients go to for another 3 nights (with the help of my sister), so I didn't come home for 5 nights after my surgery. This is because my PS recommended a 2 night hospital stay and also because my DH has very weak stomach and no tolerance for blood, etc., and couldn't take care of me when it came to drains, bandages, etc. I have to say, it was nice to just rest for those 5 days. He has been AMAZING in every other way. He has fully taken care of meals, kids, and whatever else is needed. He works from home so he also keeps me company, which is wonderful. The funniest thing is that he still cannot stomach the incisions sites, etc., so he closes his eyes whenever I try to show him my new bod. I even show up and flash him to try to get him to look but he still closes his eyes, haha! He constantly comments that he cannot believe the transformation, especially the boobies that are still overly big and swollen, so I am excited for him to really get a good look as soon as I heal and am less carved up looking, which is admittedly a bit hard to look at! I know some ladies have been intimate with their DH's as early as 2 weeks but that isn't happening around here! First of all, I can't even imagine it because I am still so sore everywhere, but my poor DH gets weak in the knees at the thought of being anywhere near my incisions! I don't really blame him, they look much worse than they feel and he is terrified of hurting me. I guess all the hubby's have different tolerances! I do miss sleeping close to him and look forward to having our intimate time back, just another thing to be patient about in the marathon process!
Week 3 PO activity level:
I am including this because maybe I can help one of you not be as dumb as I have been about not listening to my body about rest! The longer you can stay off your feet, the faster your recovery will be...I knew it in my head, but for many different reasons, most being my own stubborness, wasn't completely compliant. I am not exercising yet, even though PS said this week I can walk a few blocks now and can do light hand weights for arms. I have resumed some volunteer stuff I do that requires being on my feet a few hours at a time and spend an hour or two running errands. I can do light housework and can drive (I started driving at 9 days PO because I was totally off meds and could turn a bit when seated without it hurting my TT). The nurses at the PS office said that I will heal much faster and swell less if I can continue to stay off my feet this next week until my 4 week PO appointment, so I am trying.
Anyhow, I think that is all for now. I wish I was better about updating because I have probably left out info that could be helpfu, but please ask me any questions you would like and I promise I will answer!