Trauma After Implant Surgery and Removal - Indiana, IN

Hi ladies I was here before to write a comment, now I'm back, I feel so inspired that I want to share my story...

I had breast implants(under the muscle) put in 4-20-2012, 5 days before my birthday. It was suppose to be my present, I wanted them for years to give me fullness back, by having a kid I lost the volume I use to have. About the third day after surgery, I went to go wash my face, I didn't feel like myself. I can't explain it but I felt different, like I didn't know whom I was. I developed panic attacks and irrational fears, I thought I was loosing my mind. I had a lot of nerveous breakdowns and developed a deep depression. Things I had never felt before. On my first week checkup I told my surgeon I was having breathing problems, depression, tingling sensations in my limbs, spasms in my chest area and irrational fears. He said "Well that is all in your head. Its your anxiety." and looked at me stun by what I said. Oh my god the lack of compassion he had for me, and for him to just walk out of the room as if I didn't matter... it just killed me. It was totally different from the 45 minute free consultation he gave me before he collected my money. Funny a totally different man, after. He also tried justifying it by saying "Well, you picked big implants".

My sister took me to that visit, and I left with her crying. Over the next couple days it got worse. These were more of the things I was feeling: flushing like motions in my arms and legs, muscle spasms in my chest, tingling sensations in my chest, breathing problems, anxiety, horrible allergies, weird way of smelling, lost of appetite, confusion, trouble concentrating, trouble sleeping or resting, tingling in my thighs, head aches, nausea, the sensation of something crawling on me when nothing wasn't, fear of being alone, and deep, deep depression.

I was so outgoing and loved to live life and to do things. I loved working out and dancing, and was full of life. This surgery changed my life. Suddenly I was scared to be alone or do anything, I would just sit in my room thinking to myself "Why did I do this to myself." This once social butterfly was gone. I was terrified of the world that I once loved. I lost all of my friends because I became so different. No one really believed me of my story about what I was going through. The only one that did was my husband.

I was tired of all the breathing problems and freaking out. I wanted my body back to normal. So on 6 20 12 I got them removed. We decided to go back to my plastic surgeon instead of going to someone different. We were told it was easier than having someone else go behind a surgeon and undo his work. His bedside manners was a little better, but still had no sympathy for me at all. He did do a great job on the way the breast looked but still his lack of compassion, and didnt disclose information truthfully about all the risks, such as when I asked about would it be heavy or hard to breath after getting the implants.

On 6-20-13 It will be a year, and I'm still dealing with breathing issues, tightness in my chest, and it feels as if it is crushed and a lot of pressure is still there. It is so hard to take a breath. I still have some tingling in my legs, and I still deal with panic attacks and certain fears. I'm still struggling to recover.

I have had two sets of CTs, two X rays, and oxygen test and they say its all normal. Its really hard to explain, I know I'm getting air in, but the way it feels is as if it is hard to breath.

Months after the breast implant removal, my breast has risen some: yet, they are no where near what they use to be, and instead of being a cup size 36c, I'm still a 38 d. Which is the same size I was with the implants in. I'm not happy at all with the additional sagginess, and the discomfort of them pulling now, more so than ever.

I also have a 1 1/2 inch lump on the upper left side of my breast, and I can feel an indent, or complete hole where the implant was. I have since then had feeling return back in my nipples, but the areola and sides of my breast is still numb.

I can't believe I did this to myself, and I can't bring myself to look into the mirror, its so sad and I am still dealing with the depression of it all. I have lost all my friends and family, except my son and my husband, thank god for them. If not I would probably be dead by now.

I have tried espon salt baths and walking... Please if you have any ideas on how to help with the breathing issues and tightness, or know others like this, let me know. I'm open to suggestions. Im loosing my mind, and running out of ideas. I keep praying my breathing clears up and returns to normal. But I have no hope...

After reading my story if there is anyone that understands... I feel so alone, and for those that took the time to read my story, thank you. Hope this story help's someone and I hope someone reaches out to help me.

Thanks....

MeLady