I guess the best place to start is the beginning, so here goes - grab yourself a cuppa and a biscuit or two!!
From a young age I didn't like my boobs, not just that they were small, but I didn't like the shape either, especially the position of my nips. I had always wanted a boob job, but in reality didn't imagine I would ever have one. And then my mum had surgery. So I actually knew a real life person who had plastic surgery, not that any of this is her fault, just that it made it more accessible.
My 'dream' if you will became a possible reality and at the ripe old age of 24, I had a BA 290 cc PIP implants behind the muscle, this was in 2004.
I had no problems at all, I healed very well and loved my boobs.. I went from a 34b to a 34d. I was informed that they would have a shelf life of 10-15 years and was happy with that. I remember so clearly the first time they bounced as I ran up the stairs, I loved it! I hate that feeling now. I feel defined by my boobs and don't want to be.
So, moving forward, at the back end of 2004 I met my husband to be (if only I had met him earlier) and in 2010 we had our first earth baby and she guzzled from me for 6 months, and another then beautiful girl arrived in March this year. Only feeding didn't go to well with our second baby as I developed bad mastitis, which in turn triggered the capsular contracture, it's a grade 4 too so very painful. I've had it since May and for a while was fobbed off with "engorgement". It took until October for it to finally be confirmed.
I found out I had the PiPs in January, and have been desperate to get them out ever since, but I had to finish up breast feeding and then let my body settle. I knew quite quickly that I didn't want them replacing, and that I would need a lift. In the words of Mr Karidis "they've sagged haven't they" - good job I was over the baby blues otherwise I would have burst into tears there and then!
Then I found this website, and it was such an inspiration, so many brave women explanting and being so happy with their figures. I began to doubt my decision and started to think that other people's idea of happiness was mine. I nearly lost my operation slot because I couldn't make a firm decision about what to do.
So I spoke with my sister, and she told me something that really made me think, "you can get money back Lyns, but not time. All this time you are spending agonising over what to do you will never get back, just go for and have the lift, you know what you thought of your boobs before, and after breast feeding two they aren't going to be any better"!
Even my husband told me very honestly, that I was spending too much time on the internet looking at other people's ideals, and face it, I hated my boobs before implants, so the best bet was to have a lift and stand a chance of being happy with small and perky boobs. And then it all made sense, my idea of happiness, how my body is going to look and make me feel is what matters.
If only my nipples were in what I call the 'correct' position, I've have 'em out and be done with it.
So I'm booked, 1st November I'm back off to London to get these toxic shit bags out of me, to end the pain of the capsular contracture, and have my little lift and my nips face forward where they belong!!! I'm nervous, excited and hopeful.
Photos to follow......
I guess the best place to start is the beginning,...
I guess the best place to start is the beginning, so here goes - grab yourself a cuppa and a biscuit or two!!
I was just counting and realised its just four...
I keep looking at boobs and wonder just how much I will miss them. I've had them so long now. Weight loss is going well, 7.5lb in 4 weeks so I'm pleased about that. Back to small boobs and push up bras. Am I too old for that now??!! I'm glad I'm not waiting until the end of my maternity leave to get this done, I'll be two months into recovery by the time I go back to work and maybe, just maybe no one will notice!! Apart from the token boob pervs!!
Here's hoping my little princesses get better and I sleep well tonight!! Need to get backside into gear, get ready and do some pics.
Peace and happy healing to all. X
I've added my pics. My boobs look awful. So veiny...
The contracture is painful again after falling over and landing on my boob.
Off do a soak, pluck preen and pamper (for all of ten minutes while peppa pig babysits the girls!!)
Sat waiting to be 'consented' now. We were an hour...
Next time I post I will be implant free. No more rock hard capsulated painful boob. Get me in there, I can't wait!!
Wish me luck.......
Well helloooooo ladies, I'm free of the shit bags,...
Implants removed and awful capsule taken away, boobies lifted and now nice and perky. They are so soft and I am so happy. Home and cosied up in front of the fire, restraining myself from eating all the donuts my mum has left us. It's all been a bit too much to bear for my 2 year old and she has been acting up since we got home.
Anyhoo, for every silver lining there is a cloud....
Mr Karidis came to talk to me this morning and said that everything had gone well with the operation but the capsule on my left breast was very thick, inflamed and had traces of blood in it. Hospital procedure is to offer me testing for anaplastic carcinoma, (basically a large cell lymphoma that appears in the scar capsules around breast implants - as well as other parts of the body), the chances of me having it are 1 in 500,000 but I'm slightly worried nonetheless.
Mr Karidis says he is 99.9% sure that it is due to my tumble and landing on my breast, but obviously better to be safe. Hubby is really worried, between me and the girls I think we are responsible for some of his grey hairs!!
The cost of the testing is phenomenal, and they won't allow us to have it done on the nhs! So we've consented to the initial testing and anything else I will stand firm and insist it is followed up by our gp and local hospital. We can't keep travelling to London.
So, after that shitty bit of reading, cheer yourself up with my new pics!! What sports bras are people wearing? Can't get comfy in mine.
Morning all, so it's kind of day 4 for me, because...
Boobs feel good though, I can feel both nipples and boobs are generally itchy which I'm taking as a good sign of healing, not really just getting chance to just rest because of girlies.
Sports bras have been bugging me so I bought a seamless bra from sainsburys which was a relief to wear, but after a while I just didn't feel supported and noticed an increase in swelling, so back to the tight ones. I'm trying to give myself a little break throughout the day and just pulling bra down instead of taking on and off. Lack of being able to just jump in the shower is annoying, baths are so time consuming. I'm counting the days to get the dressings off!!
I noticed a little jiggle when I was walking yesterday, so nice. It's amazing how much my body image has changed over the years and that I'm loving small boobs now, fake tits are so over!! I've added some more pics too.
No rest for the wicked, a horrible smell is creeping over from my bubba......
I'm having a moan - my boobs are so itchy!! The...
I suppose itchiness is a good sign of everything healing well underneath but I'm going a bit crackers. I don't feel properly clean either, shallow baths and then having to wash hair over the side, its horrible. I love a good long shower me, lots of lovely smelling body wash, a good steam and then come out feeling squeaky!!
Rock on next week.
Day 9 and I'm in pain. Have just been to walk in...
I'm so upset. Hubby has compulsary overtime all wknd so no one to help with girlies and I hate feeling this way around them, especially as I'm practically one handed. So I'm going to double dose the anti biotics for 24 hrs, get things moving and when I can hold it together long enough, ring my surgeons nurse to see if I can get an earlier appointment.
Hope everyone is well.
Well yesterday I went back to see my PS and his...
However he seems to think the swelling is a hematoma, he used an awfully long needle and tried to aspirate the blood, but due to the hardness he states it is congealed. I now have to wait for my body to break it down and re absorb it. The other thing that may happen ( and the nurse spoke about this a lot) is that is may liquefy and just "pour out". She says this is really common. Bleugh!
I'm really please with how right boob is settling, lovely and soft and booby like. How did I ever think that rock hard boobs were a good option? Due to swelling on left I feel like I have a small implant in there and hate the way it looks. And it is very painful too. I hope it disperses soon, feeling miserable about it and hate feeling like this.
Wow, my boobs ITCH!!!! My skin is hypersensitive...
My skin is hypersensitive and I have never experienced this before. I have not got a thin cotton vest on and then my support bra on top and for the moment this is providing some relief. I just can't bear anything on them though to be honest. But gone are the days of being child free and just being able to lie down, tits oot with cold flannels on.
Am also getting some shooting pains but I think that is the nerves knitting back together. Am thinking about going for some healing to help with left boobie, anything to help with this pain.
Hope everyone else is doing well.
Well I went for appointment at the breast clinic...
I shouldn't have looked at the size of the cannula they were going to use, but I did! The lovely ladies put me at ease thou and gave me a local anaesthetic, so I just turned away and shut my eyes.
All 3 of them gasped when pus started coming up the syringe, after syringe, after syringe. Nearly 150 mls in all, (150!!!!!!!!) and then I couldn't bear anymore because it became really painful so they stopped. And boy could you see a difference in the shape of my left breast. So much for the PS nurse saying "I've never seen an abcess post surgery if that reassures you.........." When I rang for advice - well now you have love (heard at least, I'll mail the pics).
Anyhow, I still have swelling and it may well fill up again, and I will need it draining again, but I am happy with that and just glad that I am being listened to, good old nhs eh?
So, two lots of anti biotics to be getting on with, a follow up on Monday and hopefully on the road to recovery.
I'm glad I listened to my body and went to see my gp who got the ball rolling and pronto treatment for me, I did feel that a diagnosis of hematoma made purely on a physical exam was a bit daft, how can you be so sure without a scan?? I'm starting to lose faith in my surgeon and his team, which is a shame given his high profile status.
But I won't let that spoil things, and I'm keeping it all crossed medicine works, but if I need more drainage I know what's it store. I'm still in pain but it is far more manageable, here's hoping it continues to get better. I'll post some pics of boob post draining, not taken pics since.
Pics upside down, sorry for the neck ache!!!
I went back to the hospital today for my review,...
I'm disappointed with the PS team, having been dismissive of me having an abscess in the first place, to then having one diagnosed, their concern has been somewhat limited. In comparison to my initial experience for my BA, I do feel a little let down this time - they were supposed to call me for an update today following my check up, but haven't.
On the plus side, my boob is starting to feel my like a boob and look less like I have an implant still in there, I have also been able to pick up my baby more confidently on the right hand side (the one with no problems) and give her little cuddles. Same goes for my toddle, she has been able to snuggle in for her bedtime stories, feels so good.
Size wise, I seem to be settling and comfortable in a 34C sports bra, I have tried the 34B but it is too tight. To be honest, I'm not bothered about the final size, I have the awful implants out and feel lovely with soft natural boobs. Yes I've lost my resting place for a cup of tea, but in return I've got the confidence to stroll round topless and feel great!!!
Hope all is well with everyone else - touch wood, the itchy phase has passed now. Xx
Just been back to hosp and ha another 50 mls...
At least the volume is decreasing though. On another two weeks of anti biotics so think I might get some pro biotics to help tummy. Back again on fri for another u/s and hopefully last drain or even better none at all. Poor boobie is very bruised from all the needles, but at least it is getting better.
Well I was back at the hospital yesterday and had...
Recommended via family. I did feel like Mr Karidis had plenty of time for myself and my husband, but that some of his team were a little less accommodating. Little sympathy / concern for the cost of additional tests required p, but I guess I may not be a typical rich customer!! 19/11/12 - feeling less than impressed with aftercare especially with a confirmed abscess.