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Getting Ready for the Big 4-0! - Florida

Ok, here are my "stats".... 39 yrs old,...

Ok, here are my "stats".... 39 yrs old, 5'3", 120-125# (depending on the time of day- I’m a little obsessive with the scale). Stay-at-home mom of four; ages 11, 9, 6 and 2. Married 15 years to a great guy. Living in central Florida. TT w/ some lipo and BA scheduled for June 14th.

I have been joking about getting my belly "fixed" since I was in my 20s. I've never had a great belly, always had a pooch. I used to say it was genetic, but if I had ever really worked on building some muscle when I was younger, I probably could have had some decent abs. But 20 yrs and 4 pregs later, it seems to be a lost cause. After my last baby was born it really started to hit me that it was now or never as far as looking my best. After 12 yrs of either trying to get pregnant, being pregnant or breast feeding, I'm finally ready to concentrate on myself. Not to mention the not so subtle hints from my sweet little devils. “Mom, you should get that Cortisol, it burns belly fat.” Yes, they watch too much TV, but they sure are honest! (*And by the way, why are these belly fat commercials on Nickelodeon anyway?!)

So once I stopped nursing the youngest about a 1-1/2 yrs ago I started to finally lose weight. My trick? I got busy. I painted the whole inside of my house. Before I knew it, I had lost about 25#, had pretty new walls and ended up at my lowest weight since being a teenager. (Maybe even younger, I clearly remember putting 113 on my driver’s license and knowing it was a lie!) And I've kept it off for about a year now. So with the fat gone I started to work on the core. Amazingly I could finally do a "roll-up". (Before, in pilates class, I just convinced myself that I must be broken when I couldn't do one of those darned moves.) I do push ups (the flaps are smaller) and crunches and planking and roll-ups and a bunch of other core exercises. But alas my stomach still looks like road kill. Well actually it looks like a cat attacked me. Saggy and stretch marked and overall gross. Plus I still have this chunk of fat on my upper abs. Yuk. Don't even ask about my deflated ass. That's a whole other story!

See the bad thing about getting older is you can diet and work-out and eat right and take vitamins but your still getting older. Yes, losing weight is great. It could just kick myself for waiting so long to finally do it! If I had done this work in my 20s or even early 30s I would have been one hot babe. But now losing weight just makes me look older and saggier. Saggy boobs, saggy ass, saggy belly. Even my knees and elbows are saggy. And losing weight in your face makes you look older too! It really is a rip off. You spend your best years having your children. And then when you finally have time to concentrate on yourself, well there’s only so much you can do.

Now maybe if I lived in Canada or some other arctic climate I could live with the sagginess. After all, it doesn’t really show when I’m in jeans and a sweater. But I live in Florida; land of shorts, tank tops, and bathing suits 9 mnths of the year. I FEEL about 30 but there’s no denying I’m pushing 40 when I slide on the bathing suit top. I tried the gel inserts for some volume, but when one floated away during a pool party, I knew it was time for a more permanent solution.

But thanks to the magic of plastic surgery, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. And wshen my husband came home with a great end of year bonus, suddenly it was Happy Early 40th to me. Hello new boobs, bye-bye old belly! I’m nervous and I’m guilt ridden but mostly I’m excited and determined to go through with it. Reading these blogs has really helped me to remember why I’m doing this and not feel bad about it. Yes, it’s a lot of money that I probably should save for my kid’s future. But I do believe that ultimately having a mom with more confidence in herself will be good for them too. And even if it isn’t, mom here already spends 90% of her time and energy and brain power on her brood. Surely she can take a little time for herself?!? ?

So the first step I guess for everyone is finding...

So the first step I guess for everyone is finding a plastic surgeon. I found mine through my OBGYN. After all, I trusted him enough to deliver my children AND (other than my husband) he’s the only other person to see “all” of me. As he said, he’s seen lots of ladies who’ve had work done. He gave me two names. I met with them both, and then Googled them to death. No malpractice, all certified, no bad reviews, etc. I decided to go with the doc who recommended the procedure that uses quilting stitches for me. I’m healthy, non-smoker, good weight, etc. Which means no drains and supposedly a quicker and less painful recovery. (We’ll see!) I researched the technique and it seems on the up and up. Downside is more time in surgery = more risks and more $. Now I went into this whole thing having heard many, may times that a tummy tuck was the most painful plastic surgery you could go through. So I had visions of after-care facilities and pain pumps. If I’m paying this much money, I ought to be able to have all the drugs I want, right? But the doc says nope, I’ll only need a few days of pain meds. Hmmm, I’m skeptical on that one.

Now that I’ve paid my deposit and scheduled the surgery there are a few things I need to get done before the big day. And one of them is have a base line mammogram. This was going to be happening around 40 anyway, so might as well do it now. Simple right? Not so fast…. I went in for the baseline. Wham, bam, thank you mam. I was in and out of there in 15 minutes. Sweet! ..... Two days later I get a call, “Weeeell, we see some things that need a closer look. Come back in for a “diagnostic” mammo and ultrasound tomorrow.” Ok, no reason to panic, just a closer look. Maybe it’s just old scar tissue (did I mention I had a breast reduction when I was 23? That’s another story.) Anyway, I go back in. Have my boobies mashed down to thin pancakes (can silicone implants survive such treatment??) and scanned from every side. Ok, that’s done. ….. Get another call the next day. “Well, we cleared one of the breasts but there’s still an area in the left one we need to look at more. We think it’s a cyst, but can’t tell. Come back for an aspiration. If we can’t get it to deflate, then we’ll do a biopsy.” WHAT?? Oh, “and don’t worry, it’s usually nothing.” Uh, yeah, you try and not worry. When someone tells me they need to stick a needle in my boob to check out a lump, I instantly start envisioning chemo and hair loss. I mean 1 in 3 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime, right?! Maybe my number was up. What in the heck had I stirred up with all this plastic surgery mess? This is what I get for being so vain. Or, as my husband pointed out, being so vain could lead to an early diagnosis of something I was totally unaware of. Mr. Sunshine, that’s my hubby. But I’m on to him; I can tell he’s worried too. Keeps looking at me and asking if I need anything and treating me like glass. (Well, there were some benefits involved in all this.) Anyway, I went in for the needle thing yesterday. It was just a cyst thank goodness. But that radiologist sure had fun digging around in there. Ouch! And the fluid is being sent off for pathology, just in case. It looks like a clogged old milk duct. The fall out from all that breastfeeding just keeps coming. Hope the little buggars appreciated it! So here I am waiting for the call….

Good news, no bad stuff in the cyst! Of course,...

Good news, no bad stuff in the cyst! Of course, they said it happens a lot in "fibrocystic breasts". That was news to me, that I had these and all. And of course I couldn't leave well enough alone, so I Googled this new term. Basically it breasts pron to have cysts. My next question was how would this affect breast implants? And of course they said it might be contraindicated because women with this condition are more likely to have questionable cysts that need checking out. And an implant might be ruptured during a needle aspiration. Hmmm. Well after a good bit of thought and discussion with hubby, I’m getting them anyway. I’m getting silicone under the muscle. I have to think it would be pretty hard to accidentally stick a needle all the way through my breast tissue and my muscle. And if they get pricked, well I’ll just deal with that then.
3 weeks away from today!

Has anyone else become obsessed with breasts? My...

Has anyone else become obsessed with breasts? My PS said I should bring in some photos of breasts that I liked. At first I thought, well Heidi Klum seems about right, but then I realized he was probably meaning naked pictures as in before & afters from sites like this one. Well the hunt is on and I have no lack of opinions from everyone I’ve told. Let me tell you, it’s weird when you’re mother sends you a photo of some “nice ones” that she thinks would look “lovely” on you. We aren’t talking about a new hairdo mom! Anyway, I have spent waaaay too many hours pouring over photos from BAs. And I find myself checking women out in public places. “Are those real? What do you think of those honey?” I’m ashamed to admit that I even assessed all the other moms at the school carnival the other night. I’ve got to say, I think a lot more ladies are getting new ones than are willing to admit. You can just tell. You know the stick-thin 5 footer with DD breasts that stand to attention, despite the 4 children running around her? We know better.

The funny thing is that I have always had a love/hate relationship with my chest. I spent my very early years wishing and hoping I would get boobies like my much older step-sister. Even went so far as to stuff my tiny training bra with cotton balls in 6th grade. But by 7th grade it had became apparent that I had wished too hard. Big breast sprouted over the summer making me the object of lust from every boy and hatred from every girl. And they just got bigger, to the point that I was a EE by the time I was in college. I wore big baggy shirts to hide them as best I could, but they were a constant pain in the rear. Never could find clothes that fit and it was always the first thing people noticed about me. So right after college graduation I got a reduction and became a very wonderful small D. It was the best thing I ever did. I loved them. And I have continued to be very satisfied with them until after nursing baby #4. Suddenly my perky girls were deflated. A sad, sad sight. So I am once again wishing for boobies, but I’ll be more specific this time. A nice small D, full C please. ?

So I am trying awfully hard to stop obsessing...

So I am trying awfully hard to stop obsessing about my upcoming make-over. It’s the end of the school year and like many of you moms out there, we are jammed packed with end of year activities. This week alone we have kindergarten picnic, 5th grade picnic, soccer banquet and a soccer tournament in Disney this weekend. I should be concentrating on end if year teacher gifts but instead all I can think about is will my tummy scar be low enough and how big is too big for new ta-tas!? The last day of school for us is June 10th. Surgery is the next Tuesday. I decided to have it during the summer because I thought it would be less stressful for everyone. Yes the kids will be home, but I won’t have to worry about homework getting done, lunches being made, rides to sports practices, girl scout events or seeing people at school pick-up. My older 3 are pretty self-sufficient and my mom can surely handle one little 2-yr old. I have the big kids signed up for camp for the first few weeks of summer, so hopefully I’ll be pretty good by the time they’re all laying around here telling me how bored they are! I really don’t want this whole make-over to ruin the summer for everyone. We have a camping trip planned for July 11th and I’m a little nervous about being able to handle traveling by then. I’ll be 4 weeks. Now when I say camping, I mean RVing. No tents or anything. But there will be walking around new cities and some beach time. I guess hiking and biking will be out, but I can always hang back at the site. Am I being too optimistic?

Back from a weekend of boiling hot soccer games...

Back from a weekend of boiling hot soccer games and lying by the pool at a beautiful hotel. Of course I couldn’t help but think how nice it will be next year when I can wear a bikini with confidence. I’m hoping that for the first time in my life I will be proud of my body instead of self-conscious. Mostly I just hope I don’t think about it anymore. I don’t want to waste any more time obsessing over holding my stomach in and keeping my saggy boobs from falling out of my top and just plain worrying about it. I already know how good it feels to finally not be fat anymore and that is a great confidence booster. This surgery is last step in getting my outsides to match my insides.

My surgery is 2 wks away. Yikes! I’m officially...

My surgery is 2 wks away. Yikes! I’m officially getting jittery. I’ve been waiting for so long for this it seemed like it would never get here! But now that it’s only 2 weeks away, time seems to be going by way too fast. I’m not sure I’m ready! I have to confess that probably a big part of my unease is having read all the “not satisfied” reviews on this site. Since last night I’ve probably read a dozen, scouring them for any relevant info. I just wanted to be sure I had realistic expectations going into this. You know, “hope for the best, and prepare for the worse.” Well, the worse is way worse than I had imagined! I just don’t want to start something that could hurt my family and myself for years to come. What if there are some horrific complications and I need additional medical care that won’t be covered by insurance since it was related to plastic surgery?! Not to mention permanent disfigurement or pain or worse?! Ugh. Do I really want to risk it? I have researched these procedures and my doctor for months. The doc is double board certified, chief resident in medical school, a professor at Johns Hopkins, accredited, award winning, highly recommended, no sanctions or malpractice, no bad reviews that I can find. I’m in good health. I’m familiar with surgery and scarring and ok with it. I’m not sure what else I can do? I just want to be able to look in the mirror and not avoid looking at my torso. I want to see that part of my body and like it. I know it won’t be perfect. I know I’ll be scarred. I know I’ll never have the body of a 20 yr old. I just hope I don’t come out of this sorry. My health and my family are way more important to me than a flat stomach and nice boobs. Is it too much to want both? Am I tempting fate?

The last thing I want to add is that I really appreciate this sight and being able to send my thoughts out there to people in the same boat. Sympathetic ears all over the world. It’s hard to talk to our friends and family about what we’re doing. It’s not like mommy makeovers are that common. And most people, no matter how supportive they say they are of your decision, most people are thinking it’s not necessary. Why would we do this to ourselves? Why spend all that money for vanity? But as all of us here know, it’s waaay more complicated than simple vanity. It’s a huge decision, a life changer and I know, for me at least, it’s very comforting to have someone to talk to. Thx, I feel much better!

Feeling a little better today. Talked to my mom...

Feeling a little better today. Talked to my mom who thinks I am totally getting worked up about nothing. She’s not worried at all and she’s the one who has to take care of me AND the kids! ? Trying to get ready somewhat, making lots of lists for the next week.. things to do, things to buy, questions to ask at pre-op. Gotta get the dog groomed, cut my two year old’s hair, scrub the algae off the pool grout, wax the vajaja (or however Oprah spells it), take ice cream to school for class parties, write good bye letters to kids just in case (ok, I’m just kidding about this one, but it did cross my mind). I keep going between excitement for my new body and melancholy about the long recovery. Anyone else feel like this? Wouldn’t it be great if we could just snap our fingers and be on the other side? Healed and back to our old selves, just with a flatter stomach and perky boobs. Ah if only! But after reading everyone’s reviews I really do feel like I’ll be happy I did this.

I should be packing instead of writing on this site again. I’m leaving for a weekend at the beach with some girlfriends/ neighbors tomorrow. The beach is only an hour from my house, but anytime away from laundry and cooking is welcomed. This was the only weekend all year that none of us had any sports practices or games or birthday parties or other family commitments. How crazy is that! But as much as I look forward to lounging on the beach with magazines, I dread having to explain for the 1000 time why I’m getting surgery. Yes, I am thin now (lost 25# over past 1-1/2 yrs, size 4) and I know it looks all good on the outside, but these ladies haven’t seen me naked. And some of them really feel that saggy boobs is just the proud badge of motherhood. Of course they don’t have stretch marks from hell. Honestly I’m afraid I’ll end up getting drunk and stripping off my clothes to show them once and for all it ain’t all that underneath. But it shouldn’t matter, that’s what gets me. I’m doing this for me. Why do I care about what they’re thinking and saying about me? (I've felt really weird about telling people I'm getting surgery. I wish it could be a big secret but slowly I'm having to tell more and more. Apparently I can't just disappear for two weeks.) I’m almost 40 and yet sometimes I can still feel like I’m 16. We women can be pretty hard on ourselves and unfortunately on each other too. I’ll just keep saying in my mind, “it’s for me, it’s for me, and I don’t owe anyone an explanation.” That and stay away from the tequila. ?

Ah well, survived the weekend with the ladies. It...

Ah well, survived the weekend with the ladies. It was nice to hit the beach one more time before my hibernation starts! Not that I go to the beach that much in summer anyway…too hot! It was already 95 this weekend. Got some nice “color” as my mom would say. Another one of her pearls of wisdom is “if you can’t loose it, tan it.” So true mom. I took a long walk on the beach and kept thinking, jeez this suit is hot! Other than a few toddlers, I was the only one wearing a one piece (at least I didn’t have a diaper too). I swear, every woman from 10 to 110; skinny, fat and everywhere in between was in a bikini! And I thought, why am I so self-conscious? Why don’t I have the confidence to just let it all hang out? I applaud those ladies, but I’m just not one of them. At least not yet. This time next year I hopefully will be out there in my own bikini, wearing it loud and proud.

As for my weekend roomies, there was a lot of PS talk. I stayed away from the tequila but the vodka was just too good to pass up. At one point on the beach I did grab up my belly and show them that it really is a separate appendage. “Ewww, put it away!” I don’t think there will be any more questions as to why I’m doing this. ?

So the big day is one week away. My bed wedges are being delivered tomorrow along with the raised toilet seat. (Hope that one’s in a plain brown wrapper.) Had to reschedule my pre-op from today to Thursday. (Hubby had to go out of town and although the PS office staff is very nice, dragging my 4 kids in with me just isn’t an option. I can only imagine the jokes my sons would come up with after seeing the implants.) My list of questions grows by the day. Moderate or high profile? Arnica or Bromeliad? Valium? Vertical scar? Belly button hood? Swelling? Muscle relaxer? Agh!

Going to be plenty busy over the next week winding up the end of the school year, hopefully I won’t have time to worry myself to death!

OMG! Will somebody just knock me over the head so...

OMG! Will somebody just knock me over the head so I can wake up 5 days from now and this all be over with!?!?

Went to preop today with all my questions neatly typed (I have mommy Alzheimer’s and have to write everything down and then put up a sticky note to remember where I wrote it down). Anyway, the nurse was super nice. I think she thinks I’m crazy, but that’s ok, I think I’m crazy too. I was supposed to bring in pics of breasts I liked. After much thought and scrutinizing, the hubby and I narrowed it down to 4 sets. I dutifully handed those over to the PS and he put them in my little folder. Supposedly he’ll tape them up on the wall during surgery and refer back when choosing my size. So no, I don’t know what size I’m getting. Probably between 300 and 350. And I asked him how low could my scar go, that I wear ridiculous low rider jeans because I hate things around my waist and usually buy a size too big. Now he thinks I’m crazy too but he had the good grace to make a little note in my folder….”super low riders”. Another thing I had him note was “not becoming a stripper”. :)

So the main thing I came away with today is that my PS (and his nurse) both think I’m over reacting on the whole recovery thing. After reading all the posts on this site, I truly am preparing for the worse. Constipation, hunched back, burning incision pain, pain killer addiction, vomiting, sneezing, swell hell, sarcomas, necrosis, dog ears, lopsided implants and dead belly buttons to name a few. But my PS people say I should be pretty ok in a few days and can return to normal activity then. I can drive as soon as I’m off narcotics. I can shower the next day and even get in the pool as soon as “oozing” stops. I can stand up straight as soon as I’m willing, won’t hurt a thing. No drains. No external stitches. No compression garments. And I’m not allowed any heating pads or ice packs. Oh and no alcohol from here until a week after. Sounds too good to be true. I’m suspicious. Even with the progressive tension sutures. We shall see…

Well it’s finally here. By this time tomorrow...

Well it’s finally here. By this time tomorrow it’ll all be over. I woke up last night at 4am and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I’m already good and exhausted. Spent the day doing what I could to contribute to the camp carpools. Drove to and from both soccer and horse camps in my husband’s Jeep with the top off. Beautiful weather, but now I have a little too much sun. Ah well. It was nice to feel the wind and crank up the radio. Hard to feel nervous with the sun on your face and the 80s blaring on the stereo.

Have all my meds filled, a stack of mags by the bed, Gatorade in the fridge, moo-moo washed and dried. Rides arranged for the kids for the rest of the week. Bills paid. Fridge stocked. Hmmm, I don’t ever remember the hubby going through all this before any of his procedures. He did bring me flowers though; of course Mr. Hilarious said, “I wanted to give you these before in case I don’t see you after.” My mom and aunt are here and it’s good to have them to keep me company. Hard to brood or worry while listening to their constant chatter about family gossip and the news from back home.

All in all I feel pretty good. Kind of like “it is what it is”. I think Jack Nicholas said this in some movie, “you’re strapped in, there’s no turning back, so you might as well enjoy the ride.” (He was actually trying to seduce Shirley McClain, but the sentiment fits.) I’m sure that tonight when I’m tucking the kiddos in bed it’ll hit me. There will be hugs a little longer and tighter than usual and too many kisses. The what if I don’t like how I look when I wake-up? What if I spend all this money and I’m disappointed? What if there are complications?

I’ve got two sticky notes left: one for the doc “perky boobs, flat & tight tummy, low-low scar” and one for hubby “if I don’t make it out alive, throw away the dirty movies before my mom finds them.”

Wish me luck!

Made it. Day 2 post-op and I think I might...

Made it. Day 2 post-op and I think I might actually live.

The surgery of course wasn’t bad at all, I was asleep after all. But waking up sucked. I could immediately feel the burn in my boobs and belly and I was burning up hot from being under this heated blanket thing. The nurse asked me how the pain was and I, having remembered from previous hospital stays that you better say 7 or higher or you won’t get any meds, said 9. That should get her running, right? Um, no. She just noted it on the chart. Then she got me dressed and moved me into the barca-lounger and brought in my husband to take me home. While signing some documents (who knows what they were) I asked when I’d be getting some pain medicine. “Oh, I don’t think we have anything here for you.” WHAT?! Apparently all they have for pain after surgery is hydro codeine. Which I’m allergic to, it makes me itchy. And no one told me to bring my script for percocet, so there was nothing for me. I was going to have to get home before I could have any pain meds. I live 45 minutes away. This is when I began to cry, lip poked out, sniffling like a 3 year old. Of course the nurse just attributed that to post-anesthesia reaction. This was not going well.

Well if that was all they could do for me I was getting the hell out of there ASAP. Told my husband to give me my sunglasses and let’s go. As I white knuckled it home I tried to not sob the whole way. My husband does not do well when there’s a problem he can’t fix. I think he broke every speed record home and promptly delivered me to my mother. Thank GOD my mom is here. I don’t remember much about the rest of the first day. Got the percocet going and drank lots of liquids and went to the bathroom lots. Cried a little. Oh and cussed out the PS and nurses every chance I thought of them. I think I may have even plotted their demise. I remember asking my hubby for a comment card. Oh the tongue-lashing I was going to give them!

Day 1- spent most of the night sleeping and trying to hold my pee so I wouldn’t have to wake the hubby up every hour. When it was finally time for the household to wake-up I got out of bed to the realization that my implants are not made of silicone but solid lead. They must weigh 20 pounds each. Since I was given the ok to shower this am, I decided I wanted to get that in before the hubby left. There are a lot of things I’ll let my mom do, but washing my privates is not one of them. At least not since I was 5. So this morning was really the first time I even thought to check things out. All I came home with was a surgical bra to hold gauze on and a couple of big surgical pads taped across my belly. So I take those off and I can see my incisions. They are covered in steritape, which is attached with surgical glue. I’m to leave these on until they fall off on their own. I can leave the bra off now too. So I see that my waist seems about 6 inches shorter. I know in my head that this is not the final result, but I swear my belly button and tummy incision seem really high. And of course my breasts are enormous. But the tummy’s flat and that’s really all I care about. I seem really thin too but the scale shows me 6 pounds heavier than the day before, so I must be swollen. Now this is hubby’s 1st look too. He seems pleased. He’s in the shower with me washing my back, which feels like heaven and my hair. Ahhhhhh. But I told him, he better not even think about showing any outward signs of his approval of the new girls, if you know what I mean. They may be just what he was hoping for, but hands off buddy.
So the balance of Day 1 involves me starting my period and developing what turns into the world’s worst tension headache. I am miserable. I call the PS office and there’s nothing they can do. Can’t take anything that might cause bleeding. Maybe the percocet is causing it. So I go the night with no percocet.

Day 2- Wake-up with the headache from hell still bearing down. At this point I don’t even notice or care about the tummy or boob pain. It’s nothing compared to the headache. My mom has cold compresses going, we’ve tried hot water on my neck, massage, everything. By noon I am ready to just call it quits. I will do anything to get this pain to go away. I cannot go on like this. Call the PS office again and they say maybe I have a migraine and to call my primary care doc. Oh sure, the guy I see maybe once a year is really going to help me now. But I call and of course he refers me back to PS. I am in tears now. I hate all doctors. I am back to cussing the medical profession in general. Then my actual PS doc calls me, not the nurse this time, to see how I’m doing. And bless the man he gives me the ok to take my usual headache medicine, Excedrin. FINALLY there is light at the end of the tunnel. I take the meds (off percocet already) and sit in a hot shower again for 30 mins and can finally feel relief. I can’t adequately explain how wonderful it is not to be in that pain hell any longer. It’s been about 5 hours since the headache left and I am a new woman. With the headache gone the tummy and boob pain is really not that bad. Boobs are feeling somewhat lighter and tummy only hurts when I cough or when I get up or roll over. I am able to stand pretty straight and I can sleep flat on my back or sides with some help. Mostly I’m weak. Can’t sit up for too long or walk around without needing a nap. But considering it’s only day 2, I think that’s pretty good. Post-op appot tomorrow morning. I’ll be anxious to know what all he did. Like how big are these implants anyway? And did he tighten my muscles? And will this scar ease south a little once the swelling goes down? I posted some shots from today. Funny story- when my mom put me in the shower she looked at my nipples and said. “Did you ask for them to be square?” Ha Ha! The surgical tape around them is flesh colored and they put it on in a square. Yeah mom, I paid extra for that. ?

One week post-op today… Since my last post I...

One week post-op today…

Since my last post I have become very well acquainted with the confines of my room. Or my prison as I lovingly refer to it these days. I am being kept under lock and key by my well-meaning mom and hubby. The only relief from boredom I have is taking showers and internet shopping. I told my husband it’s either give me back my car keys or the Amex is going to be getting a serious workout. Of course the main site I’m visiting is Victoria Secret. Suddenly the world of slutty bras is wide open. I can hardly wait to get to the mall! No more boring beige for me! I AM enjoying not doing laundry or cleaning house or driving car pool. But my kids are starting to push the limits. They’ve caught on that I can’t physically chase them down when they’re naughty so they stay just out of reach. Little do they know I have a lot of time in my hands to think about new and creative punishments. Pay back is coming.

Anyway, as for recovery, it hasn’t been too bad. It’s pretty much just a constant discomfort that can get tiring. My tummy is very tight all over. It doesn’t hurt on the incision just pulls all over. I guess that’s from the tension sutures. And I get some pretty bad gas pains at times. But I can stand straight and move my arms all around with no problem. I do have to rest a lot on my back to get some relief from the fatigue and tightness and to keep the swelling down. The belly is definitely swollen. I’m hoping it’s a lot swollen and that I will end up even flatter in a few weeks. Hoping my boobs fall a little more too. Right now there just so “out there”. It’s like HELLO LOOK AT MY POINTY NIPPLES! I can’t answer the front door like this. I was trying to figure out just how much swelling I have from the scale. I know I must have lost weight because I haven’t been drinking any alcohol ? or eating any chips ? or Mexican food ?. But then I realized that these implants had to add some weight. Well I looked it up and do you know that each 420cc silicone implant weighs .99 pounds?! So I have 2 extra pounds right there. The net/net is that I think it’s about 2 pnds of swelling.

All in all, I’m happy with the results. It’s not perfect but I gotta think it’s too soon to see the final results. And what I have so far is way better than where I started. Yes I wish the suture line was a little lower and my boobs may be a bit too big and it would be nice if my waist dented in a little on the sides. But I can’t expect to look like a 20 yr old. My husband sure is happy, a little too happy. He’s treating my new boobs like a new baby. Wants to see them before he leaves for work and when he gets home. One- track- mind. ? (an eye rolling emoticon would be very useful here)

New pics from today. Sorry about the poor lighting but I’m taking these on the down-low. If anyone new I was posting nude photos of myself on line! Well let’s just say an invite to join the PTA board would probably not be forthcoming. (Hmmm, that might not be a bad thing.) Hope all you other ladies are hanging in there!

After 4 births and 4 years of breast feeding I...

After 4 births and 4 years of breast feeding I wanted the stretched, loose skin gone and by breasts filled back up to what they used to be.
Tampa Plastic Surgeon

I'm not really ready to recommend him or not. We'll see how it turns out.

Updated on 19 Jun 2012:
Dr. Marcadis did an excellent job on my tummy tuck and implants. I had a very easy recovery, no complications, no drains and my scars are minimal. But he doesn't really talk that much to you. He has his idea of what to do and goes with that, not very good at explaining or listening. Example- I wanted my tummy scar very low as I have a short waist. And I even said to him to see where my underwear goes and if he needed to do a small vertical scar to get the incision lower, that was ok. But he didn't feel it was needed. My scar is visible in low rise jeans and most bikinis. Also, after a breast biopsy, I had hardening in one implant and felt that the other one fell too much. But when I went to see him, he didn't see the problem. I'm going to be having a breast revision in a few months and I won't go back to Dr. Marcadis simply because I want a doctor who listens more to what I want, not just what he thinks is best.

4 out of 5 stars Overall rating
2 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
3 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
3 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
2 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
4 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
2 out of 5 stars Wait times
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I can't express how much I love your writing! Thanks for keeping your story going. I hope you're absolutely pain free soon.

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Nice after pics Girl!!! You sexy thang!! Your results are AWESOME!!! How are you feeling? I'm sure you feel like a rock star. Love Love Love IT!!!!
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Hi, I just wanted to comment on your great posts! You are so witty and honost--very refreshing to read. I had my MM 1 month ago, and I felt almost every single emotion you did. Thanks for giving the whole experience such a light-hearted spin!
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You're after pics look really good! The scar is very straight and your new boobs look amazing. I think your posts make me laugh the most out of ALL of the realself posts I've read, your sense of humor is awesome. I am glad your pain isn't that bad (besides that awful headache). I can't wait to see more pics as you get back on your feet(-:
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I just wandered over from the tummy tuck site and stumbled upon yours. I love how you've put into words exactly how I have been thinking! You are a great story teller. Good luck tomorrow, I look forward to reading about your recovery!
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We will all be thinking about you tomorrow.  Update us as soon as you are able.

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Wishing you luck!! Hope you are feeling ok today! I'm sure it has been a long day. Thinking of you and soooo excited for you :)
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Oh and let us know how it goes!
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Good luck tomorrow! It will be over and done before you know it and you will be happy to be on the post-op side. Look forward to hearing from you!
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Best of luck on Tuesday! I will be thinking of you.Keep us posted on your progress. I am July 11th- you will be recovering and camping!
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AHHHHHHHHHHHH... our day is coming!!! Are you getting excited????
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Yes! And the school year has finally ended so I feel like I can finally relax. I'm actually kind of looking forward to "recovery" next week. Doctor's orders to rest all day and not do any laundry, cooking, driving, no breaking up fights, planning play dates or coaxing anyone back to sleep in the middle of the night. Just want it to be Tuesday already!
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I'm using the fibrocystic situation as part of my cover up. I've been dealing with them for so long now and at 48 my hormones are a hot mess! SO now I have two periods a month and that's after an endimetrial ablasion to get rid of or cut down periods. I now have a five day instead of 10 day period, they aren't as heavy but I still have them twice a month which turns me into a crazy lady with the hormones out of control and my fibrocystic breasts feeling on fire and like hot marbles are inside of them. SO my cover story for the kids, my sister and cousin is that they will remove the cysts and masses which leaves me with very little breast tissue and another ablation on my uterus to avoid having a hysterectomy. To my surprise they were all very supportive. Of course I am just having a mommy makeover TT, BA,BL and hopefully that sweet muscle tightening done to make me brand new. My oldest son is getting married in Oct. and I want to be ready so I really pushed to get this June 13th date. I couldn't just tell people I was having a MM because they really do judge too harshly. I'll hide it from my mother in law because she is one of those women who says it's just normal to lose breast firmness due to nursing...but then she gained like 70 lbs since she lost hers so they are just fine now. But I'm a caregiver and I have taken care of a woman who was 90 who's breasts looked better than mine. And my belly from the belly button down was cut in half vertically three times and one side hangs lower than the other. I WANT THIS DONE SOOOO BAD! I'm so glad you are all here because I know you understand me. I have tremendous guilt after sending out all payments for this and my explorer we discovered today needs a new exhaust and possibly has a bad wheel bearing in the rear. Hubby says don't even think about it...but it's hard not to. I do think if we do this now for ourselves we will be able to be so much better for our loved ones after our healing time. Hang tight girls...I'm right here with you going through the same thing. Don't know about the compression garments tough where are we supposed to get them?? which ones? Or do they tell us after wards.
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i am getting my compression garments from my PS. Ask them if they give them to you. I've seen some sports bras too at Dicks Sporting Goods that have a zipper in the front. i was thinking about getting that for later. like after I'm able to take off the compression bra. I hate how sports bras make my boobs look now. I hope they don't look like that too after the surgery... hmmmm
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I like your cover up story-I was told by a friend to say cysts are being taken care of. I am going to say that as well. People at the gym will wonder where I have been and I need to tell my teenage kids but I don't want to get into the MM-too weird for my 17 yr. old son and 14 yr. old daughter to handle. Only a hand full of people know the truth.
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O honey, I totally thought about the good bye letters to the kids. It's morbid but still? Worry warts that we Moms are it does sound tempting. Anywho...I know you are getting excited. I'm wishing for July already (surgery scheduled for June 21). Terrible to wish the summer away for this surgery, but still the waiting is miserable! Hope it goes well for you, keep us up to date!
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HA HA HA!
It is fun trying them on, but its not really an indication of what YOU will look like. I discovered this 16 yrs ago when I got my first ones.
It all depends on what you have to start with and what you want to wind up being. If you are having a hard time trying to decide, go with the bigger vs, smaller. They won't be nearly as big as you think they will be.
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That's what hubby says, BIGGER! :)
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Yes. As go bigger, just don't go over to the totally huge side because you have to keep in mind how they are going to age. No matter what anybody tells you, they will eventually sag. Maybe not as bad as real breasts, but they still will sag. My friends who are in the 500-600 range don't like it once they reach their 50's for this reason.
My current ones are 300cc saline. That was Ok, but this time I am getting 400 Hp because I need fullness at the top.
I would stay under 500 personally so that they will not sag too bad as you get older.
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I loved reading your story. You are funny and so true about everything. Did you have your preop appointment yet and get to try on all the different size bobbies?
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Pre-op is next Tuesday. So I guess I'll be trying them on then? At the consultation my husband and I were embarrassed to be caught playing with the sample implants that were on the table. Of course the doc didn't care, but it's hard not to blush when you're walked in on while fondling the merchandise! All I could think about was this doll I had as a kid that was all squishy. I got so curious I finally cut her open to see what was inside. Pink gooey stuff. I can't help but think that my boobies will now be filled with pink gooey stuff!
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hahah, i felt wierd too when I was sitting there playing with them. what a difference the feel is between the silicone and saline. You will have to let me know what size and kind you choose. So I've been reading all your updates, and I have to tell you it's the best one out here. You really say everything that I am feeling but are funny and totally right on.

Everyone that I've told about my surgery is supportive as well and I haven't thought about what they "really" think of it. I know it is a lot of money to spend but really we are mothers and have given our lives to make sure our kids are takin care of and loved the way the should be. Sometimes we forget about ourselves and doing somethin like this that is going to make US feel better about ourselves makes me feel like I can be a better mom. I know that sounds wierd but when I'm happy my family is even happier. haha

Since you brought this up... I've never waxed my va-jay jay... is it suppose to last longer? I mean I shave and I know I won't be able to do that for weeks after the surgery since it will be tough but was just wondering if I should try the wax?

That is great that you are getting away for the weekend. Most of my friends are always like "you look so good now, "you've lost so much weight" but your right they don't know what I look like underneath all these clothes. Saggy boobs, stretch marks. I've actually just started showing people how bad it really is underneath and then they finally understand. I'm telling you, if people don't see it they don't understand. More of my friends do now that I've been so open and honest with the way my body REALLY looks. I know we shouldn't have to do these things to prove ourselves or to prove why we are doing this but really I'm all about doing this for me and if they can't see that with or without showing them me in my birthday suit.. Efff them... women are the most critical to other women and this I'll never understand. Why can't we be there for each other instead of putting each other down. For me to be more confident in myself and to really finally look in the mirror naked and be proud of my body for once is worth it. I think you will do great chicka!!! Have fun this weekend and have a margarita for me since I am working the whole time :)
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Ugh, I had a needle biopsy too, and it was painful! I got light-headed when it was over and they had to elevate my feet. Thank goodness mine was benign too. Aren't you glad you got that done?!

TT being the most painful plastic surgery, eh? If that's true, then all the other cosmetic procedures must be a piece of cake! Seriously, I'm no martyr, but I had the full TT and lipo, and it was WAY easier than I had been led to believe. You'll do awesome!!!

From the illustrations I've seen of where submuscular implants go, you'd have to be a doctor with pretty shaky hands if you slipped with a needle meant for the breast tissue and ended up in the implant!
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Hi,
Your stats are pretty similar to mine. I am also 39 and am giving myself this for my 40th. I have 2 kids and am scheduled just a week before you on June 6 for full TT,lift, and implant exchange. I am not having lipo because my PS said I did not need it. (?)
My photo also looks pretty similar to yours too. You can see my post at sportyboysmom.
I am nervous about not being able to do anything for a while after the surgery. The BA doesn't scare me as I have been through that before, but the TT is a whole other matter!
I know I am going to be grossed out by the whole drain thing and not being able to shower until they come out. I really hope it is all going to be worth it. It is also pretty hot here (NM). I am sure Florida is the same. Does wearing the binder have you a little freaked out with the weather being so warm? I hope it is not going to be totally uncomfortable during the recovery time.
Best of luck to you. I think you will be a great looking 40!
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Yes! I am a little freaked about the binder. I already hate having anything tight on and my skin is really sensitive. But here in Florida, summer is our indoor season. Unless you're in the pool, you stay in the a/c. So I figure my electric bill will be outrageous because I'm going to have it artic indoors! And the not doing anything, well that's going to be tough. I have the classic "if I want it done right I need to do it myself" syndrome. I think I'm going to need more valium than pain pills so that I won't go crazy letting my mother and husband handle everything! Good luck to you! I'll be anxiousnto hear how it goes.
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