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Dumbest Thing I've Ever Done

I am 29 years old, and had upper and lower...

I am 29 years old, and had upper and lower blepharoplasty 13 days ago. I had bags under my eyes that run in my family. They were not fat, they were muscle.

My Dr. removed a small amount of skin from under my eyes in an attempt to make the bags less visible. He suggested I do my uppers at the same time. I do not have any issues with the uppers. Although, I am so focused on my new scars below my eyes and my eye size difference that I can't even begin to think about the uppers. My left eye now appears much larger than my right. It is not only my eyelid that is larger, but my actual eye opening. I have scars below my eye lashes that at this point, are impossible to cover with makeup.

I am so ashamed of myself for doing this. My issues with my eyes were nothing compared to what I am facing now. I can't imagine ever going in public again. It was very painful. I still have swelling, and mild bruising. However, after crying in my Dr.'s office yesterday, I am all but certain the size difference of my eyes will not change.

I would give ANYTHING to take it all back, and be right back where I was. I go back to work on March 30th, and at this point I am considering quitting all together. I cannot even imagine facing anyone after what i've done to myself. Before this I went to the gym five days a week, and loved to work out, and now I can't imagine stepping one foot in the door. I know it has not been long enough to know what my final result will be, but I do know that I will definitely have visible scars, and I am sure my eyes will remain two different sizes. Those things alone are enough to keep me hiding in my house.

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Did you all see festoon treatment in Tampa Florida using co2 laser?!! Adam Scheiner md ?? Results look great! See why you don't do lower eyelid surgery without doing festoon with it I'm not allowed to link so look up Dr Scheiner page where he explains bags vs festoon treatment And a video of procedure Look up the dr's tv dot com there is a lady that got festoon surgery with laser on a video there I'm considering this, sounds like better sense than what some surgeons advise!!
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Did you all see festoon treatment in Tampa Florida using co2 laser?!! Adam Scheiner md ?? Results look great! See why you don't do lower eyelid surgery without doing festoon with it I'm not allowed to link so look up Dr Scheiner page where he explains bags vs festoon treatment And a video of procedure Look up the dr's tv dot com there is a lady that got festoon surgery with laser on a video there I'm considering this, sounds like better sense than what some surgeons advise!!
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i wish i'd never done the bletharoplasty. My eyes are painfully dry and hollow-looking.
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Understood. Has anyone ever expressed they noticed the diff?
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Yes, one eye's almost always different than the other; however, when elective surgery makes that difference obvious and/or worse, it can be hard to deal with.
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Hi Siouxie

How are your eyelids? Have they even out and look normal now? Please give an update. I would like to know your progress. It's the year 2011.

Thanks,
Anna
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I'm curious to know how you're doing at this point. Are your lids evening out? I hope you're still not feeling "ashamed" for having the surgery...you just wanted to look the best you could!
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Siouxie, No, my lids have not evened out. However, the large bag that I had under my left eye has gotten noticeably better. Although, it is still there. I go out without my sunglasses on now, but NEVER do I feel pretty. I have my second consultation with an opth. on July 7th for revision. If he can fix it, it wouldn't be until August, as I will be six months post op then. My doctor offered to do it, at no charge of course, but I feel it should be handled by someone with more specific training of the eye. At this point, the revision part seems like a nightmare with the possibility of making things worse, but I can't live feeling this way for the rest of my life. I long for the day when I can talk to someone face to face, and not be consumed with insecurity and the thought "I hope they don't notice". It still bothers me a lot when my husband is close, looking at my eyes. Yes, I still feel guilty for doing it, and I try not to dwell on "if only I hadn't". I have an appointment to see about getting Restylane placed high on the cheek bone to try to camouflage the bags or festoons, whatever they are. That even scares me. I just keep thinking "haven't you learned your lesson"? However, if i'm already so insecure that I don't even want to look my husband in the face, how much worse can it get? To sum it all up, I still wish I hadn't. There has been no positive thing to come from it. I've only made things worse. However, I have a hope that it may be fixed. At the same time, I struggle with the thought of having surgery again, and whether it will turn out right. When you had your revision, what did they do, and how far post op were you? Did they lower one, or make the other higher? What kind of doctor did it?
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I agree with you that an ocular PS should do the work. My revision was done by the same PS who did the first b/c it was free--I should have listened to my instincts. It's also good that you're consulting with more than one OPS; I think you'll know when you've found the right person to do the revision. It's hard to wait the six months for the revision, but think of it as giving your body the time it needs to get the best revision result. I think one of the marketing 'hooks' PSs use is 'minimal down time'. Yes, many heal in two weeks, but there are many others that can take more time to do so, and surgeons often don't express that. I also just read that though eyelid surgery is relatively simple to perform, it has a high patient dissatisfaction rate. I had my original surgery in May of '08, the revision in December, and now need to wait until December to do anything else (if I need to or can, and this time by an oculoplastic surgeon). The PS went through the original incisions; one was originally higher than the other. Healing was perfect in my right eye; the left is the one that's having the hard time. I also struggled with the decision to have the revision, and wish I had harnessed my impatience, done my research and found a doctor I was comfortable with. The good thing is that you're doing all those things now, and while that doesn't guarantee a perfect outcome, it makes the chances of one so much better. BTW, because I've become so self-conscious, I've been looking at pictures of actors, and many of them have one eye that's clearly different than the other. I also read that eye differences are more noticeable after this particular surgery. I don't know about using Restylane for the bags, but you'll be able to ask the right doctor those questions. All my good hopes are with you: that you find the right surgeon, that the outcome is what you're looking for, but most of all, I hope you'll be able to make peace with your body. I know that's hard, and yes, I'm struggling with it too, but I've realized how important it is. I encourage you to think whatever you have to so you can be right with yourself; otherwise, you're setting yourself up for a host of potentially damaging insecurities, body dysmorphic disorder (I'm serious, and I also began leaning toward it) being one of them, and that's something you definitely don't want influencing the decisions you make about your eyes. Let me know if I can tell you anything else about my experience, and I hope to hear that you've found the right doctor soon!
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Thank You, Siouxie for your advice. I have since cancelled my appt. at the medspa. I am still planning on trying Restylane to conceal the bags, but plan on consulting a board certified plastic surgeon instead. I am also still planning on a revision with a occ. surgeon. I go for my second consult July 15th. I'm praying it will be a VERY minor procedure. I only plan on revising the corner of my left eye that is being pulled down. If a canthopexy is the only thing that will fix it, then I will do my best to learn to live with it. I do not want a canthopexy. However, I strongly believe that it is only being pulled down due to the way it was sewn, as it has been this way since day one after surgery. I have learned to accept that one lid is bigger than the other, and you're right, lots and lots of people have one eye that is larger. Oh how I wish I could go back to the days where I didn't examine every single person's eyes. lol I'm sure my issue is not thyroid related, but I appreciate your advice and concern. I will do my best to keep you posted.
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Daisy, how are you doing? How was the consult?
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Siouxie, The consult could have been better. Apparently, the result of surgically fixing the corner of the eye is completely unpredictable. I'm unwilling to have another unpredictable surgery. I guess I will do my best to live with the consequences of my original decision. I'm currently in therapy, and considering medication.
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Daisy, I'm sorry that the ps didn't have news you wanted to hear. It's good to know that you found a professional who can help you work with the outcome of the original procedure. I wish you strength and the support of those around you...all the best.
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This really bothers me - I am from Arkansas and have been gettting opinions and consultations from plastic surgeons for this procedure. Do you mind giving the name of the clinic/dr?? I understand if you would rather not.
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I am a little hesitant to do that because I am not 100% sure it is necessarily his fault. He has been very nice so far, and he said if it still bothered me in three months, he would take a little more skin from the other upper eyelid to try and even them out a bit more. So scary. I just wish he would have told me that I did not need such an invasive procedure at my age. Also, like pretty much everyone else I was told I would be better in two weeks. Hah. At this point I still trust him, though. I will tell you that his practice is located on rodney parham, if that helps.
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Hey Daisy, Some MAY be better in two weeks, but everyone heals at different rates....give it time. If at, let's say 8 weeks, you still feel insecure then by all means talk with your doctor. I wish you great happiness =]
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I had the incision on the outside, too. I think he took in a little skin to make my undereye area smoother. I still have wrinkles when I smile, but less fine lines when I don't. The only thing about removing too much skin is the possibility of having your lower lid pull away from your eye (ectropia ?) and I would think that would be a very unpleasant result, though I think they can fix that with another operation, or maybe just take the precautions at the same time - I really don't know. Hopefully, like daisy said, the skin removal would be less complicated - I would definitely get more than one opinion from recommended doctors. I hope it works out for you!
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im curious...i had lower conj blep...and i have extra skin now...the scars???is that because he did a lower skin pinch...because im thinking of doing that to get rid of the excessive skin???anyone?
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Yes, that is what the scars are from. However, I had a transcutaneous bleph. I'm not quite sure if that is the same thing as just a skin pinch, or not because my whole lower lid was done through that incision. I have read though that if you're not removing fat and muscle, but just skin, it is easier to heal from. I don't know if that is true or not.
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So it's 2011. Can you give us an update on your eyes? Do they look close to normal?

Thanks,
Anna
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Dear Daisy, please do not cry. Crying will slow down your recovery and make it worse. Give yourself some time.
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I agree with tingmm, please don't cry. Even before surgery, crying made my eyes look awful and swollen. I almost cried 3 days after surgery, when I looked in the mirror, and had to stop myself because I had read that you should not cry, sneeze, bend over or anything else that puts pressure to your head (lifting, pushing). Make sure you are not consuming too much sodium - I'm a salt lover, but I read that you should watch your sodium intake because of swelling. Today I had my 3 week appointment and the doctor said the swelling will get better as time passes. He told me to still watch my activity level. He said there might be days when I think things look great and then the swelling will appear - maybe from too much activity, sun, whatever. Do you have another appointment with your doctor soon?
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I go back to my doctor on March 24th. I do try not to cry. Although, the last week has been the hardest because as time passes it is getting harder to tell myself it might get better. My doctor did say that it was not good to cry, though.
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http://www.drmeronk.com/insidersguide/34.html This is a link to the Meronk Eyelid Surgery website. Go to Chapter 34 of the eyelid surgery recovery. "Do not try to evaluate the success of your surgery during your early recovery. Imbalances between the two sides are common at first due to different degrees of swelling and variable rates of recovery. Full healing of any incision on the body can take six to nine months." I hope this helps.
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How are you Daisy? Are things looking better the more time passes? I didn't think I would ever resemble my old self - but it's been 3 weeks now and I do look like the old me, but without my bags. I still have the scars under my eyes and on the "crows feet" area that, you are right, are impossible to cover. Being older than you, though, mine probably appear to be small wrinkles to people looking at me. I'm sure they will go away with more time - and won't be noticable at all on you. I keep thinking about you and hope that you are getting happier each day. Last week I went back to work and wore glasses (even though I had contacts in) because the frames and shadows kind of hid my bruising and scars. This week I don't care as much, as things seem to be improving. I usually wear eyeliner underneath and it just looks like I didn't do such a great job of applying it. Oh well.
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