No more mosquito bites
- updated 1 year ago
I have always been small breasted. I was a late...
- 24 Aug 2012
- 5 days pre
I have always been small breasted. I was a late bloomer and didn't get my period until age 14. While small, my breasts were lovely in shape. The rest of me was slender and a bit petite - I'm 5feet 4 inches tall. I definitely wanted to have larger breasts when I was a teen, and in my early 20's, but accepted them as they were. In spite of the fact that my mother and sister were full-breasted D-cup women, I was happy with my shape and slightly less than A-cup size. Fast forward 30 years plus... including a 10-pound baby, breast-fed for 14 months, a maximum weight of 170 pounds prior to birth, loss of 45 pounds, then gaining over the years to 164 pounds - yikes!
Two years ago I realized I had to take back control over my body and lose the weight and get fit. I lost 40 pounds in one year and gained a huge amount of strength and fitness. My dress size dropped from 12/14 to 2/4. I now wear size 4 jeans. My body fat percentage fell from 36% to 18%. My breasts became deflated, wrinkled bags. It's hard to type that, but it is true. I tried to talk myself into accepting this as a badge of motherhood, having brought a beautiful, healthy baby into the world (now a teenager, 5'9" tall).But , dammit, I want to look as good as I feel, and I want to feel sexy like I did when my breasts were a C-cup during pregnancy and nursing, and I want to look normal in a swimsuit. I want a B-cup, so I am not asking for much, just want to proportionate for my 5'4", 123 pound frame, and not be flat as a board with shriveled bags. I'm turning 50 this year, so this BA will complete my transformation into feeling as fabulous as I am fit!
I understand there are risks and no guarantees. This site has been so helpful with helping me see all sides to the BA, both for and against it. I was considering a tummy tuck too, as my tummy is saggy and wrinkly. But I don't feel as strongly about fixing my tummy at this time. The BA seems to me to be reasonable for my body and frame of mind.
These past several weeks since I decided to pull the trigger, I have had plenty of ups and downs. Sometimes my mind is screaming at me, "are you crazy"? I feel great, I'm super healthy and fit, and want my breasts to be fuller and more beautiful. I am so inspired by many of the courageous stories I see on this forum and hope to help others with their journey to self-fulfillment.
Aug 29, 2012, the day before surgery. I took care...
- 31 Aug 2012
- 1 day post
I took care of many tasks at work and am prepared to take off Thurs, Fri, and Tues (Monday is a holiday). I was a mess the past 2 weeks, with self doubt and worries about what the hell was I thinking to have implants. The pain is scary and the possibility of revision is super scary. The reviews I read of easy healing are from young women. Then I look at my brests and know I want to enhance them, my doctor is excellent, the facility is accredited. I read others reviews and realize everyone is different. I am believing in my doctor and the experience of many on this site with excellent outcomes. Now I am calm and looking forward to taking the leap.
The last stressor was how to tell my DD. She is prone to telling friends a lot of detail of things her parents do. I feard this appearing on FB so i chose to wait till now to tell her. This evening I told my DD I needed to talk to her about a private family matter; I had her undivided attention. I told her I was having surgery tomorrow. DD: (very concerned) what for? Me: a very personal female issue that I did not want disclosed outside our family. DD: are you getting your tubes tied? Me: no, but it is related to my weight loss and fixing a part of me that suffered from weight gains during pregnancy and then the past 10 years. DD: I understand that some things are private...I might tell my friends about the funny outfits you wore in the 80's... Me: I'm getting my breasts fixed. And I want my tummy fixed but will wait on that to see if the loose skin will tighten up in a year. DD: oh, that's great mom! I understand. What can I do to help? Is this a serious surgery? Will you be okay? Is it dangerous? Me: it has risks but I have a very good doctor, great health, and am very fit. I should be fine in a couple days. DD: mom, of course I understand why you want this private. Me: (tears and hugs)
Aug 30, 2012. Day of surgery Last night I slept...
- 31 Aug 2012
- 1 day post
Last night I slept very well. I misunderstood the medication directions and took a muscle relaxant last night...I was thinking the "evening of surgery" meant the night before. FML. DH drove me to the surgery center for the 10:00 am time, with sugery scheduled for 11:00am. Super nervous and excited. In the exam room, I told the anesthesiast nurse about my taking the pill last night; she said it was probably okay but would check with the doctor to make sure. She came back and said it was not a problem, then laughingly asked me if I slept well. Why, yes, I slept better than I have the past two weeks!! DH was called into the exam room and he joked with the nurses, and than the doctor. So funny, and I was laughing so hard! My doctor has a great sense of humor! After I was marked up, I was taken to the OR. After laying down on warmed blankets and getting an IV put in, the anesth nurse gave me a little cocktail to relax me. A little more banter and joking, then next thing I knew I was waking up in a haze. I asked if the surgery was done yet... Yes and it went very well. LOL, I said "I'm alive!" Nurses joked back, of course and we haven't lost a patient yet! After a while, they dressed me. I had worn a soft tee shirt to the center and had brought a button front shirt which I forgot to put in the surgical bag. So I had to have the pullover tee put on but my arms are flexible and it was no problem.
Surprisingly I felt fairly good except a bit of stiffness in my pecs. It just felt as if I'd done a really hard upper body workout in the weight room. I felt fairly groggy all the rear of the day. DH set up the recliner for me and I watched tv and napped. My mouth was super dry. Drank lots of water and took the oxy with saltines. The saltines were extremely hard to chew and swallow, so I switched to watermelon cubes...much much better.
August 31, 2012. 1 day post op. Feeling strangely...
- 3 Sep 2012
- 4 days post
POST OP MEDICATIONS:
Robaxin = a muscle relaxer for pain, spasms
Oxycodone = pain med
Methylprednisolone = a corticosteroid
Phenergan suppository = anti-nausea
FIRST NIGHT SLEEP:
So the first nights sleep on the recliner was acceptable though not the best. DH slept on the comfy couch next to me. He set his alarm to wake up at the medication times, so as to have me keep on top of the pain meds. The dog and cat were both thoroughly confused on where to sleep since we normally sleep upstairs. I kept a pillow on my chest to discourage the kitty from kneading me *there*.
FIRST POST OP APPT:
Things have been a haze but I feel no real pain, just the muscle tightness like I have when I lift too much at the gym. I periodically sit up straight and take slow deep breaths to stretch gently. My first post op appointment was this morning and it went well. I learned from my doctor that I did a lot of bleeding in the OR and the large red splotches on my sides were a result of excess blood. The right side rib is a little tender too. I have bruising on the right aerolea and on top of my left breast. I asked if I would be needing a bra, and was told that I was not to wear a bra for six (?) weeks, just the compression strap above the breasts. Otherwise, my implants would pop up to my chin. I asked about applying ice, but was told it wouldn;t help nor would it hurt if I want to ice. I asked about how I can sleep, and was told to sleep any way I'm comfortable. Doctor instructed me to take a shower and wash my hair today. Must move arms slowly and in any way that does not hurt. Do normal activities without straining or pain. No exercising, though, that would increase my pulse rate or blood pressure. They recharged my pain pump and said it would last 2 to 3 days more, then I can take out the catheters.
A WALK THEN A SHOWER:
Went home and walked outside with DH and the dog. We walked less than a quarter mile, and I took it very slow and easy. Took over 20 minutes, and I had to stop a couple times and take deep breaths to keep my pulse rate down. It didn't help it was over 90 degrees. After that sauna, the shower felt very good. It was easy to wash my hair, in slow motion. DH helped blot dry me off. I forgot about the fanny pack pain pump and it filled with water which drained onto the bathroom rug before I remembered to put in over the sink. I had to keep track of the tubes, so as not to accidentally rip them out. There is a lot of tape on the catheters. There is tape on my incisions at the bottom of the aereolas. If tape comes off, I am to put more tape on them to cover the sutures. I blow dried my hair and felt amazingly good. I can reach my arms above my head, slowly of course.
I sat in the recliner and watched some tv and did some reading. I figured out how to get the recliner kicked back using my legs. Still need help getting the recliner in the sitting position. I can get up from the seat and sit down - testament to my strong legs and abs. I have the pillow arrangement that is a puzzle to put together but works well. My best pillow is the u-shaped neck pillow. It is the best thing to have right now. I have gotten up periodically to walk laps around the house and am staying on track for meds and healthy foods. Prunes are a featured part of the diet now.
At bedtime, DH fixed up the pillow puzzle on the bed and I slept amazingly well. I did not flop onto my side as feared, the neck pillow seemed to help with that. We used a bed pillow for under my knees, and I used the oversized fleece throw for covers so as not to get my pain pump tubes tangled in the sheets. I did awaken about 10 minutes prior to being due for pain meds. Had a lot of fluids going through my system, so I had lots of practice using my abs to pull me up from the pillow puzzle on the bed.
September 1, 2012. 2 days post op. Feeling...
- 3 Sep 2012
- 4 days post
Sleeping in my own bed felt so good, but I was so stiff upon waking. Now I know what other bloggers mean by morning boob. I took a colace yesterday since the bowels need it. Sorry for TMI, but it might prove useful for someone else on this journey.
I have managed to keep nausea at bay so I have not taken the suppository. I really do not want to take it so am going slow with the food. I'm actually feeling good except for the muscle tightness and a bit more swelling. I've been feeling some itchiness in my nipples. Feeling stir crazy sitting in the recliner and walking laps in the house. Took another small walk outdoors with DH and the dog. Then another shower. Watched a lot of NCIS from season 2. Watched some other junk on TV, too embarrassing to disclose.
I'm not in as much of a haze now.
September 2, 2012. 3 days post op. Stir crazy...
- 3 Sep 2012
- 4 days post
Ah, another great night sleep and feeling stiff with morning boob once again. The strap is getting to be a pain. Now I also need to wear a cami on account of the itchiness and nerves tingling. I can pull it on over my head without a hitch. The pain is less so, but still there. I can raise my arms straight up and out easily now. I'm up getting my own water and can put dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I went to the craft store and was able to open and close my car door. DH is ready to assist of course, but I am getting more and more capable. Just need to move in slow motion so as not to strain anything.
I'm more than ready to be done with this recovery thing. Uggh, still another 2 and a half weeks. I'm not going to worry about my weight now. I know I had a lot of water bloating, and am eating the healthy diet. I will worry about it when I can exercise again. I know healing burns calories, it just feels so slow.
The haze is all gone and I am going to try to wean off the oxycodone so I can drive in a couple days maybe.
September 3, 2012. 4 days post op. A little...
- 3 Sep 2012
- 4 days post
Another great night sleep, but had many dreams, some with anxiety. Decided to forgo the 6am oxy pain med. Seems okay still. I stretched the stiffness away and felt like the day was going to be great. My pain pump seems to be empty now. The band is feeling tighter again. Same amount of itchiness and added small shooting pains on the skin.
This morning, I decided to also forgo the 10am oxy and took tylenol instead. After a while, I was not feeling comfortable. Not sure if it was nausea or pain or stress from the TV junk. I went for another short slow walk with DH and the dog. After getting home, I was feeling more pain, nothing sudden, just more of the discomfort of muscle tightness and now these shooting pains. I called the nurse to ask if I could still take an oxy even though I took tylenol instead...no problem. I realize my pain pump is empty and that now is not a good time to wean off of the pain meds. I'll try tomorrow to substitute the tylenol for oxy, maybe.
REMOVING THE PAIN PUMP.
At noon, it was time to get rid of the empty pain pump. The pump automatically delivers pre-measured amounts of pain-numbing medication to the surgical site via catheters. The doctor had told us that we should remove the pain pump when it was empty. DH and I carefully reviewed the instructions on removing the catheters from my chest and set out to the bathroom to do it. We got the antiseptic, cotton balls, and bandaids at the ready. First I had to remove the tape that covered the catheters. Not easy to do, since it was v e r y p a i n f u l. Slow and steady wins the race, but it hurt like a SOB! Then DH gently grasped the tube next to the skin and pulled gently... and pulled and pulled and pulled. All in all, he pulled 8 inches of tubing out. Poor DH then said he needed to sit down and take a rest, LOL. He expected an inch of tubing at most. The second tube went better and then I blotted the holes with cotton soaked in hydro peroxide until the old and new blood were gone.
Wow, I feel more human without being attached to tubes. Yay! Now the oxy has kicked in and I feel much better now. The strap is still confining, but I like to not have that fanny pack on all the time.
September 3, 2012. 4 days post op, continued...
- 3 Sep 2012
- 4 days post
I have continued to stretch by sitting up (or standing) straight and putting my shoulders back gently. I really want to pop my back by rolling on a foam roller, but I don't dare try it for fear of popping these implants out of my chest! I take deep breaths and relax my shoulders. So far so good. Now my breasts have more feeling in them, and the strange little shooting pains pop up now and then. I have full sensation in my nipples and the skin around each boob. They actually feel like they did when my milk came in when I was starting to nurse my baby. I sure hope that milk doesn't actually start to flow!
I wanted modest-sized breasts, like a b-cup. Since I didn't fill an a-cup without double padding, it seems two cup sizes as an increase is about right. But when I look at my "after" pics, they seem to be the starting point for many others. I hope I am not too small after the swelling goes down. I have gotten the 286cc moderate profiles, so it is modest. The doctor and his nurse said it would be a lovely shape and size for my lifestyle and activity level. I'm wondering now if I'll be able to wear the same bras - 36A - that I already own. Won't that be interesting. Well, I won't worry about that now. I do feel so much larger, it's just the photos don't show much of an increase in size. I do feel like they are going to be beautiful in shape and size, even though they are kind of squarish right now.
September 4, 2012. 5 days post op. Continuing...
- 4 Sep 2012
- 5 days post
Continuing to recover and taking it easy. I'm more than ready to be done with sitting around. My pain is manageable with muscle relaxers and tylenol. No oxy since last night at bedtime. I really want to drive soon, so I am trying to stay off the narcotic. I finished off the anti-biotic today - yay! The other meds will be done tomorrow morning.
Nothing much to report; just following doctors orders to take it easy.
September 5, 2012. 6 days post op. The tatas...
- 5 Sep 2012
- 6 days post
The tatas are feeling much better today. I had the best sleep last night. The muscle relaxant and tylenol are managing the pain. I get the oddest pains and sensations now. Sometimes it feels like I'm leaking out of the nipple and there will be nothing. Still feel a little tightness when I lie flat on the floor. The strap is annoying but I'm used to it.
I'm feeling more like myself. Can't wait until I can exercise again. I have been doing light household chores but no lifting at all. I certainly don't want to undo any of this!
September 6, 2012. 7 days post op. FEELING...
- 6 Sep 2012
- 7 days post
A few days ago I felt regret over having done this and kept thinking I was out of my mind. I kept faith in the overall result, and know I've wanted this for decades, but the discomfort and the recovery was taking all the wind out of the sails. I was not all that enthused.
Wow, I am now super excited about how I look. The discomfort is nearly gone. The tylenol is handling pain, the odd shooting pains are gone. I am losing the square boob look. The left side has gotten softer. The right one still feels like an alien boob. I tried on some of my dressy tee-shirts and they look amazing! My boobs are perfect. I thought they were too small, and they are smallish, but the shape is exactly like they were when I was nursing!
And now I am determined to love my wrinkly tummy and sagging face, because this is it for cosmetic surgery.
I had my 1 week post op appointment today; it was...
- 6 Sep 2012
- 7 days post
I still have a lot of bruising on the right breast and under each arm, so I don't look too good. But I feel almost back to my old self.
Friday, September 7, 8 days post op. I drove to...
- 7 Sep 2012
- 8 days post
I drove to the office today and had a great day at work. I feel almost normal, except that it still feels like my milk is coming in. No pain, just a little stiffness under my armpits. I do wish I could get a deep tissue massage for my back, but there is no way I can lay on my stomach.
I took some tylenol today, and that is all I've needed for pain. My boobs look crooked now. My right one seems to still be hard and pointing down, while my left one seems to be settling in gradually.
I tried on several tops and they look so good now!! I still have a bruise on my upper left side, so I am still going to be wearing high neck tops for a while longer.
Sept 15 - 16 days post op. I'm healing very well....
- 16 Sep 2012
- 17 days post
I'm healing very well. Two days ago, I got the clearance to do aerobic exercise. I had been walking from day 1, but did so very slowly, to keep my heart rate below 100. That was hard to do after day 7, because I was feeling so good. But I followed doctor's orders exactly. Doctor said to ease into exercising gradually and only do what is comfortable. A couple days ago, on Friday, I did a 45 minute walk at a more reasonable (vigorous) pace. I'll go the gym today to use the upright stationary bike so I don't put any strain on my pecs.
I have been sleeping on my side - which feels great for my back. I have an occasional pain from the zingers caused by the nerves healing. I'm taking advil for pain occasionally.
I had a great workout at the gym today. I also...
- 16 Sep 2012
- 17 days post
DH has been key to my smooth recovery so far. He is attentive and sweet. A lot of the bruising color is nearly gone from my left side, and about half gone from my right side. I asked him what he thought of my breasts...he loves them and am amazed at how much younger I look! I can't wait until these puppies drop and fluff. They are feeling softer but still look squarish at the upper pole.
Earlier today I went to mall and decided to visit Victoria's Secret to see if there were any interesting little nighties without underwires. I have not been to a VS for years. So, I was a little surprised to see teenaged girls shopping there, but I know it's a trend for them. But I have to say that I was shocked to see a male salesclerk there! I may be showing my age, but I'd not be comfortable answering honestly to the standard sales question, "are you looking for something special?". LOL, I think I"ll just order online.
28 days post op, 4 weeks. Feeling super! This...
- 27 Sep 2012
- 28 days post
This past Monday, 25 days postop, I saw my PS for the third post op appointment and was given clearance to do anything I want to, except to let comfort be my guide. Also, no more strap is needed and no more tape on the incisions.
I did a workout at the gym tonight and incorporated a "mini" circuit training workout. Using the smallest dumbells (only 3 pounds!) for lat raises, and 10 pound dumbells for single leg romanian deadlifts. It felt good. I did some pushups, girl-style, but not many because it was uncomfortable. Pushups will take longer to get used to.
I had started with 30 minutes of cardio with a few intervals revving up my heartrate into zone 3. Sweating felt so good. I'll gradually build up my cardio and weight training over the next several weeks.
I finally got my dh to take some photos. My left...
- 11 Oct 2012
- 2 months post
I feel so good now and love how I look in nice clothes and not need a padded bra.
I hope everyone here on the boobie blogosphere are doing well.