Considering Removal - Boston, MA

Unhappy to have implants and they scare me but im...

Unhappy to have implants and they scare me but im scared of what I will look like. I hope I wont be deformed I just dont know what to do!!

Ok so its been a while but I realized I never...

Ok so its been a while but I realized I never filled anyone in on more specifics. I am now 25 and got the implants when I was 24 last October 2011. I was a small 34b prior implants but my breasts were a little asymmetrical. It didn't really bother me until I became obsessed with breasts and two surgeons pointed it out to me. Also, they said NY breasts were constructed meaning the distance from the crease to the nipple was short. said it was a deformity...way to make me feel good! I was competing in figure competitions and saw so many nice, round big breasts, I felt terrible about my small, asymmetrical,'deformed' pointy triangular breasts. I had the money and could train my body to look great, the only thing I had to fix was my boobs! many people told me that it wasn't any different from getting your hair dyed and that if it makes you happy I should go for it. So I did it aside from feeling it wasn't right, I convinced myself nothing was wrong with it, even though I felt there was something wrong to.changing what was given to you.

Within the week, I knew I hated them. I became chronically depressed, lost 10 pounds, had major anxiety and refused to go to the gym where people would gawk at my breasts. I cover them.img constantly. They look beautiful naked but won't even let my bf see them I am mad this artificial thing is not me and people are attracted to.it. I so badly want self acceptance.but am scared I can't have it. My boyfriend was not supportive if me removing and wanted to make sure.I knew what I could look like if I removed. He saw how depressed I was getting them in, how badly I wanted to change my breasts to begin with, and now wants to make sure I an fully aware of this decision, all the negative, and does not understand why I want them out to potentially look worse than before when I didn't like my own to begin with. He's nervous I will get depressed again. I am worried too of all his points he made and that's what is preventing me from removing. I don't want to be unattractive! I am.worried too I will be smaller than before as some women are, or more asymmetrical. My surgeon had to add far to my breasts to help with the constriction which I don't agree with it felt hopeless. My breasts lost most all the far and now one looks bigger than the other when I bend over.

I'msick.of surgery. I don't want that feeling of 'needing' surgery. I do. Want a lift,I don't want far transfers, I just want to.be happy with however I look. I got 400Ccs silicone dual plan transax. No kids yet. Ugh.

So, over the past couple Weeks I believe I have...

So, over the past couple Weeks I believe I have changed my mind. My boyfriend brought up concerns to me that I was kind of ignoring prior because I just wanted these things out but wasn't really thinking the aftermath through. I think I have found middle ground until I am mentally ready to remove these. I think I am going to downsize dramatically to about 175ccs and switch to saline. Anyone else consider this? I'm mostly sure this is the right choice for me.

Hi Ladies. So I made the final decision. I am...

Hi Ladies. So I made the final decision. I am downsizing. I will go from 400 moderate plus silicone to somewhere between 195-225 cc saline low profile. I put so much thought and effort into this decision. Although I am not happy that I am going to keep implants in my body, for me, it's the only thing I can do right now to get me to a comfortable place. I will eventually fully remove, but I have been wanting to remove since day after my implants, and I haven't got the guts to do it which tells me that if the outcome was not favorable, it would e very hard for me to accept, and I am worried I would want to reimplant. I am hopeful this downsize will give me the strength to really do it eventually. At least its some middle ground. Also, I am switching to saline. I feel safer with saline. I am a constant worry wart with silicone, I just want to get my mind to a relaxing place. I know that this decision is right for me. I truly applaud any woman who can follow through with explant and would never recommend implants to anyone. It has been a lesson for me and unfortunately, it has some permanent reminders. I will remove one day, hopefully in a few years, when I am ready. But until then, this downsize will get me some peace. Best of luck!
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I have considered the same thing downsize 1st then remove all together , I think it is a logical step if you are not experiencing any major issues with the implants other than the size. I don't know if I can do it but 1 has deflated which has me wanting a solution and to move on. Hope you will update before and after pics :)
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I did end up downsiIng.. I posted a review look on my profile. I added before pics, pics right after, and four month post op. I feel great!
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You were right lol it's crazy how we feel the same and everything! I'm glad to know I'm truly not alone feeling this way!
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I did consider this A LOT :) I did my homework on the ones I thought would be good for me. Even 150cc Low profile. If you decide to replace make sure you check the different projection that is what makes you stick out more. The docs don't always tell you about projection just CC's.there is a low projection but docs always seem to just pick that part for you with out telling you anything, so be sure to ask :) I was 100% sure I was going to replace. And then after finding this site I decided not to but it didn't happen immediately. I read a lot of these lovely ladies post before I accutuly changed my mind, ( and my mind was set on replacing) And it took a long time before i actually came to my decision. There is not a wrong choice here for you :) you need to do what makes you happy :) with that being said I have to say I LOVE not having my implants :) the Best decision I could of made for me :) so think about it, take your time :) do research on both surgeries and then make your decision, but don't rush and make a drastic decision take you time and make the right decision that best suits you :)
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Thanks habib! I was always so confident until about a year before surgery. I was bodybuilding a saw all these big round breasts I began to question myself and think I was the minority it really made me feel bad. My boyfriend wants me to make the decision that's right for me and I support that. I am much better now than I was months ago too and never feel anymore that my Confidence doesn't depends on my parts. I still need to do what is going to make me comfortable, not 'happy', because happy comes from within.
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I just wanted to say that if you feel that you are going by your boyfriend's knowlege of breasts then you'd be making a mistake. Your surgeon was so insensitive in telling you that you were deformed. There are risks with all surgery including dowsizing your implants. What happens if you still aren't satisfied? I'm not judging you as I think you're very courageous to change your mind and to have ever put your experience into the public domain, however, the fact that you've not felt happy either being natural or with implants suggests that you're body and self-esteem issues are unlikely to change until you work on those first. No matter how much you change your looks, no greater feeling of acceptance comes from yourself and not from others. I used to feel the same when someone else pointed out my flaws but now I think I've matured with my experience and have learned to accept myself, cellulite, wobbly bits, small boobs and the rest. I couldn't give a damn what people think, I have much more to me than what I look like. Our body is a gift and we should respect it. By all means do what YOU feel is right and look how great all us ladies on here look :-) I'm proud of myself and all the girls who have been brave enough to explant and share their stories. Good luck honey x
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Sometimes in life it takes losing something, to make us really appreciate what we have. Im sad that I had to go through two surgeries, and lose thousands of dollars, to realize that I love my body just the way God made it. But at least we can reverse the surgery, and move on. How crappy would that be if we couldn't take the implants out and we were stuck with them! Too bad you weren't closer to San Diego. I would go with you to see Dr. Pousti (my surgeon). Let's talk again soon!
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Thanks girl. I like the friends i've made on here. I feel we all share something special and I feel you,are all so encouraging and empowering and you have all been in my shows for the most part. Thanks for saying the right things when I need to hear them. Yes w will chat sooner hopefully than later! xo hugs.
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Please don't worry about what your boyfriend thinks!! This is your decision, not his, and you're the one who has to live in your body, not him. Boyfriends come and go, but your body is yours forever and it's your decision!!
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He is supportive now that I have explained myself more but his fears are my fears too. I think he is just worried for me and wants to make sure I go in with an open mind and be ready for anything that can happen rather then think everything will be perfectly fine be unprepared emotionally.
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Yay! Ok I PM'd you my number!
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Hi Sgfit. I'm sorry to hear you are not at peace. I know this forum helps, but one thing that really helped me make my decision is that my PS gave me the phone number of a girl who went through the same thing. It helped so much to talk to her. We are a special club. ;) I am in California, and if you'd like to talk, privately message me, and Id be more than happy to give you my cell number, and I can also text you pictures, of how I looked prior to implants, and how I look now.
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Hi Cris- I would LOVE to chat! I'm in MA. I will private message you my cell and email. Thank you sooooo much!
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Hey Sgfit, if you want more people to talk to, I'd be happy to talk to you on the phone too! PM if you'd like :-)
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Just read your comment about being envious of big breasts after removal. I thought that but actually although big boobs look great, for me I'm quite active, I love exercising and have more attributes that just my boobs like nice eyes, nice smile and a nice personality which I think I have not appreciated. I can totally understand how you feel but what else is nice about you other than having bib breasts?

Heidi
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Sorry for the typo I meant *Big breasts!!
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Know I have great qualities like a pretty face, nice bum, string muscular back and legs. I guess I just wanted it all...
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Still have them in....still frightened to take them out. What if I feel envious if big breasts with them out? How can I move forward... Bumming..
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Hi Sgfit. How are you doing?
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When mine were put in, they told me I would be deformed if I took them out one day. I took them out 8 years later and I am not deformed. People think I've lost weight and I'm really, really happy to have them out. It feels so nice to have squishy boobs again that you can lean on in any direction without fear.
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Yes BUT yoy had larger natural breasts than me and probably smaller implants. I have 400ccs.
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