32G ... Terrified, Excited, Nervous!!!! Trying Not to Freak Out - Blue Bell, PA

I am 20 years old, 5' 3 1/2", 130ish pounds, size 32G. I apologize in advanced for the rambling, I am so nervous! I have little memory of ever wearing size A or B bras... started with some sport bras in middle school and flew into Cs and Ds. It was always IMPOSSIBLE to shop for bras growing up because I was always being measured at the wrong size. No department store bras would fit me and I did not understand how a sixteen or seventeen year old girl could not fit into one bra inside of the whole Victoria’s secret store. I was always wearing one of two bras all the time because I could never find any that would fit or they were way too expensive. NOTE: Sweet Blossoms Lingerie Boutique in Doylestown, PA is amazing! They have been my life saver for the last 3 years!!!!!! Anyways, at the age of seventeen I decided to finally pursue the idea of a breast reduction after having years of horrible neck and shoulder pain and pain when exercising or wearing a swimsuit. Also, rude comments from other students, boys and girls, did not help. I met with Dr. Scott Chapin from Doylestown, PA and Dr. Robert Mirabile from Blue Bell, PA. Dr. Mirabile was the doctor that did a breast reduction on one of my coworkers and she was and still is very happy with how it turned out. I ended up deciding not to choose a doctor and not to go through with sending off the paperwork to the insurance companies because I felt that I was to young and that I was not yet done growing. Later that same year when I was 18, a 17 year old friend of mine got a breast reduction with Dr. Chapin and was very pleased with the outcome. So, I went a couple of years dealing with the pain and wearing more baggy and less revealing clothes, and LOTS of scarves to try to cover up my chest. I also felt like everyone was judging me by how I looked or how I dressed even though I could not control how my large boobs made me appear to look. Now at the age of 20, I am sick of dealing with pain, have had some weight gain because I have no want to work out because that just causes more pain, and I am tired of not fitting into anything, getting rashes under my booms, and once again, THE NECK AND SHOULDER PAIN, I revisited the idea of a breast reduction more seriously. My Mom has supported me from the start and we visited Dr. Mirabile. He was confidant that I was a great candidate and that I would have a great outcome. He wants to do the kinds of cuts that would be like a lollypop and an anchor, cutting around the nipple, straight down to under the breast, and out a bit. He says I will probably end up a small C, which upset me. I know the insurance company tells them the amount they must take out, not the cup size you will end up being but I would at least want to be a normal solid C. Why would I want to go through surgery and then still not be an actual solid size? I am just terrified. I am terrified to even get blood work done and an IV put in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am sorry this is so long!!!! I cannot stop rambling and it feels amazing to finally write out how I feel. I go for a paper work appointment on Wednesday and my surgery is scheduled for July 3rd. It seems to be coming so close yet I try to push it out of my mind. I am just so scared, the thought of it being so close makes me cry!!!!! I keep asking all these what ifs and should I have visited more doctors? I do not know if I am making a huge mistake and if I should wait until I am older but that also seems so stupid because that would be more time suffering!!! And the insurance company accepted it, so why try again! I guess it is NOW OR NEVER! I want my body to be better, I want to be able to work out, I want better, smaller, easily to handle boobs and a more proportionate body!!!! Yet as much as I try to get pumped, I am still so scared! (Also, I have $0 as the cost because I do not remember the cost right now and I am not sure of the total with insurance)