Not looking back!

There is inevitably a pattern on here where typically, updates become less emotional and not as frequent as the months pass after our operations... I didn't think it would happen to me, I would be obsessed forever! But I did indeed get swept away in life and my nose was not on the forefront of my mind! It'll happen to you too, most cases at least. Fingers crossed!

So my one year post op. appt. was actually in August but I never got around to updating…but I still feel very passionate about this choice, this experience, the impact it has on all of us on a multitude of levels. I still think about my nose, but not through the same lens I did before. The swelling has come down tremendously, but it was a long, winding, bumpy road. I finally felt like swelling was reaching a halt around ten months or later. Though the surgeon said swelling had just about subsided at 12 months, I still feel as though my nose is swollen and it is noticeable still in the morning and at night. Was it always this way, even pre-op.? I don’t remember. Maybe there is still a little swelling but nothing dramatic—probably nothing that can be detected visually. So it pretty much is in its “final form” now.

My breathing is alright, the same or maybe a little less than before. I can breathe out of one nostril better than the other, which was true before but I wasn’t as sensitive to it as I am now because there was no human intervention prior to surgery. No analyzing for flaw a result of my choices.

There is still asymmetry, but it is not as bad as previous months. Nostrils are somewhat different shapes, I still have that lump on the tip, which my surgeon noted was more like a dent that gave an illusion of a lump. The hump was shaven more on one side than the other. Minor things, as my nose looks very, very natural. During my one year post op. appt., the surgeon said my nose is pretty close to as good as it will ever be, maintaining the functionality of it. That was good to hear. He mentioned I could go for a revision, to try to fix the dent by adding cartilage but it would make my nose more wide/larger and also something else could become a problem that wasn’t a problem initially. So, a risk!

Overall, I am much happier with my nose though it I could still complain about it to a select few. I still have only told four people directly, though one snitch said yes when his sister asked if I had my nose done. And then proceeded to drunkenly tell my now (I hadn’t met her prior to surgery) best friend. But it is not a huge part of my identity, I forget I even got it done and don’t really feel part of the “worked on” crowd. The other day, a kid asked me if I had ever broke my nose. My heart kind of sank while I though, maybe the surgeon broke it during the procedure? But promptly told him, “no.” I asked him why, and he said his dad told him that anyone who has a bump on their nose has broken it. Though grossly misinformed, I was still kind of flattered like, the fact that my nose is still very much imperfect, imperfect in the way it was prior to surgery. I looked around the room (I was in a room full of many elementary kids) and was inspecting their noses—they are still very small and undeveloped through you can kind of tell which ones would later evolve into noses that were deemed imperfect in our society—bothering many of them down the road, namely the females. It makes me sad. Though I want to believe there is no reason any one should get it done. I do not regret it despite still never feeling fully at ease with validating the procedure. It is something very few would understand that had no got a cosmetic surgery done themselves.

So all and all—I am content with my decision and about 84% satisfied that I chose the surgeon I did. I know many things could have went wrong, but I was left with a functional, somewhat aesthetically pleasing nose. And an improvement, no doubt.

Just thought I'd update really quickly about swelling. I will be 9 months post op at the end of the month and....ta da! Still swollen....I hope. I am not about to upload all my photos again throughout the process but just wanted to show that chunkiness is still persisting with the front view as well as the asymmetrical nostrils. My tip is still very much hard though I can pinch in the sides of my nostrils with relative ease. But sometimes you forget what a normal nose feels like. I find myself pinching and tugging at my boyfriends to compare his natural nose to mine. And his is kinda hard! Mine felt more flimsy before due to its longer/excessive tip... I do have thicker skin and it is oily so...maybe there will be improvement at the 18 months mark. I feel as though my nose has not changed in the past 6 or 7 months. But it is so gradual, it is hard to tell without obsessively comparing photos. I stopped taking "is my nose still there?!" selfies after about a couple months.

So my point of this update is for everyone who may be farther along and feeling alone in their swelling or those who expect a deflated nose much sooner than is realistic for some people. Just hang in there!!! And resist the urge to consider revisions until way longer than what feels comfortable. It can be a very discouraging process with many ups and downs!

So, this will be my last update for a while. The changes from here on out will probably be much less drastic. I removed my photos but will leave my simulations and actual before and afters for the time being. Feel free to message me!

I was happy to see the before and after actual photos, but then looking at and comparing with my simulation was a little disappointed that my after profile is not exactly the same (as smooth and small). I think my actual front view is much better in the actual after, so I am thankful for that. But this proves what a mind game it can be! I will have to see after a year to really judge my tip (as it is too ball-y for my preference at this point).

I want to thank everyone for their ongoing support and comments throughout this entire process. I still cannot believe I did such a thing! And then documented it on the internet. I don't think I will ever be a-lister famous, so I am not too worried. But for everyone else, happy educated/informed/confident decisions and successful primaries and secondaries and additionally, patient healing!!!!!!!!! Thank you all and goodnight!