Ready... Set....- Austin, TX

I'll introduce myself. I am a 33 year old mom to a 7 year old, a 5 year old and 3 year old twins. The pregnancies have done a number on my body. My first, I gained around 50 pounds. I finally lost all of that just before I found out I was pregnant the second time. That time I dealt with some depression issues and ended up gaining about 65-70 pounds. I lost all but the last 20 before getting pregnant the third time. With the twins, I actually gained the least, only about 35-40 pounds, but since I started out much heavier, I was still very large. I lost all of the twins' weight within 6 weeks of their birth, but never seemed to be able to get rid of the extra 20 from my 2nd. Also, after the twins' pregnancy, my skin was very stretched out. After I lost the weight, my belly reminded me of a raisin and made me super uncomfortable with my body. About a year after the twins, I had a Mirena IUD placed. About 6 months later, I stopped having my period and withing a 3 month period I had gained 30 pounds. I had the IUD removed, but haven't been able to lose the weight even with diet and exercise. I have been considering a tummy tuck for a while, but wanted to lose some weight and keep it off for a year before I went ahead with it. We recently had a change in plans for the next couple years which will make it more difficult to do it later.

On Christmas night, while visiting my MIL in Texas from California, she suggested that I go ahead and do it now, and that she would be happy to watch the kids for me. I mentioned it the next morning to my husband and, surprisingly, he agreed. (Surprisingly because it will mean staying in Texas while he goes back to California until I am recovered enough to drive out there with the kids.)

Over the next several days I researched plastic surgeons in the Dallas/Ft. Worth, Waco and Austin areas. I emailed for information from around 8, heard back from 4 and talked to 3. Dr. Kerr from Synergy Plastic Surgery in Austin was the first to contact me back, the first to be able to fit me in for a (free) consultation and everyone I talked to was very friendly.

I went in for my original consultation on Monday, December 30th at 5:30 pm. I meet with Ashley, Dr. Kerr's nurse and Dr. Kerr. He did a good job of explaining the procedure to my husband and me. Then he did an exam. My biggest concern is that I'd still like to lose a significant amount of weight after the surgery. He said that, while it was not the ideal, it would not be a major concern, that the tummy tuck could be touched up, or lipo could be used. He suggested that it might be better to do lipo first, heal from that and then do the tummy tuck. But for me, the loose skin is more of an issue than the extra fat (but really, who wouldn't like to get rid of both, right??!!) So he suggested that the tummy tuck with lipo on my flanks might be the best way to go for now. He was very friendly and professional and gave off a very competent impression.

My husband and I discussed it again that evening, and I talked with both my mom and his as they would both be helping with my kids and/or my recovery until I am able to drive back to California. Once we had settled the logistics of it, I called and scheduled my surgery and my pre-op. My pre-op is Friday the 3rd and my surgery will be Friday the 10th.

This has been a very quick decision and I'm still kind of mentally spinning from it. I'm having a hard time in my head justifying this. I feel like I'm being selfish and conceited to do something so expensive and time consuming and something that effects so many people "just" because I don't like my body. Before I had scheduled the surgery, I talked with my mom about it and my feelings about it. She said that gettting the surgery wasn't going to be enough, since I still have such a bad self-image and lots of "stinkin' thinkin'" going on. She suggested that if I went ahead with the surgery, I also needed to work on the mental part as well. On Tuesday I went to see a therapist about some of my issues and once I figure out the insurance part of it, plan to continue to see him as long as I'm here healing and possibly after if we can make that work.

I'll try to take some before pictures over the next couple days.

On Thursday my husband flew back to California and on Friday the 3rd I went in for my pre-op appointment. I was more nervous this time than i was for the consultation I think. Though it might have had something to do with caffeine on an empty stomach on my drive down to Round Rock.

I got there a bit early and had a little bit of a wait. Then, I met with Vlasta, the patient coordinator, who was awesome and made me feel pretty comfortable. She went over some of the pre-op instructions (which I was also sent home with, so I didn't actually have to remember anything, yay!). Then I changed into the loverly blue paper panties and Ashley came in to take my "before" pictures. Wow, that kinda sucks!! I spend so much time and energy when I'm in front of a camera trying to HIDE my stomach! And here I was letting someone take pictures of my absolute least favorite part of my body... Ugh!

Then Dr. Kerr came in and told me that my post-op appointment would have to be changed. Apparently he's going to Mexico the day after my surgery, so I'll have to come back down to Round Rock on Tuesday for that. I wish he'd told me that before I booked the hotel for Thursday and Friday nights. Though, really, I don't know that I want to be making the drive back to Waco the same day as the operation.

After that, he discussed some of the same stuff as the original consultation and checked out my body again. It is so awkward to have someone touching my stomach! Even my husband doesn't touch my stomach! During the consult, he poked his finger in my belly button when he was talking about about the new one I would have. My husband commented, "I don't even get to do that!" and he's RIGHT!! So, so, so weird to have someone touch the part of my body I dislike the most.

Well, once that awkwardness was over with, I paid for the surgery (everything but the facility fees that I will pay at the hospital on the day of surgery.) and Vlasta and I chatted a bit. She seemed so nice and made me comfortable.

I went and filled all my prescriptions and got most of the things on the paperwork they suggested. I'll have to do some last minute grocery type shopping, and if I can find a tube dress, Vlasta suggested that they work well post-op.

So, physically, I'm pretty well set for the surgery. Psychologically, I have another session with the therapist on Wednesday. After that I will be taking the kids to my mom's for a week, possibly two. Then Thursday I drive back, pick up my MIL, and head down to our hotel in Round Rock only a couple minutes from the hospital. Friday I have to be at the hospital at 6 am and my surgery is scheduled for 8 am. I should be done by noon, I think, though I'm sure I won't be getting out of the hospital right away.

I think I've got everything set up. I've had to mention the fact that I'm getting a tummy tuck to several people (mostly because I'm not sure how to avoid it, or I probably would!). Each time I feel kind of awkward. I wish I could just get it done and not have to tell anyone about it. I feel like I have to justify myself. Probably mostly because I AM still justifying it to myself.... I'm still having a hard time feeling like I can do something just for me like this. Like I'm actually worth it. Stinkin' thinkin' I suppose.

in 10 minutes I leave for the hospital. wish me luck!