My name is Shelby and I don't know what else to do than come on here and try to get some advice.
I'm 19 years old. Supposedly my breasts are a 32D, though I fall out of most D's and EVERYONE says I look like a DD, and I definitely feel like one. I have had large breasts for as long as I can remember. I hit puberty very young and it just kept on going from there. I am 5'5" and around 125/130 lbs. I feel like, for the most part, I have a proportionate, thin body until it comes to my breasts. I can no longer wear cute tank tops or little strapless dresses. I refuse to wear a bikini without a cami top over. I probably went swimming three times last summer, just because of how emotionally stressful it is to not be able to have a fun time in water. In the picture I posted of me in a bikini, I had to search to find it and I HATED how I looked in it, just because of my chest. It makes me sad because I love to be outside, I love to be active, and I love the water. I've been told I'm somewhat of a fish. ;) Beyond the cosmetic part of it all, I do have back pain and my posture is becoming pretty bad. I feel like my posture is getting worse because I don't like to sit up straight, because I feel like it pushes my chest way too far out. While the pain and the posture is annoying and uncomfortable, I do feel like my main reason for wanting surgery is for the cosmetic reasons. A lot of people look down on that, but I don't see what is so bad about it. I'm only young once -- why shouldn't I get to enjoy it?
I had a consult with a doctor in Auburn, California, about an hour away from where I live in Sacramento, and he seems to be a great doctor, great reviews, very knowledgeable, answered every question I had very thoroughly. I went ahead and scheduled my surgery for May 24th, but now that I am 12 days away from it, I am literally turning into a mess. I can feel my boyfriend and friends getting bored and tired of me talking about it, and I can't say that I blame them, but they're not about to make a lifechanging decision and have their body, in an area that makes a woman feel sexy or ugly, cut open, and so that's why I'm here -- I need advice from people who understand.
Dr. Freed measured me at a 34D, but as I said, I am either a VERY large D, or a small DD. I'm sure he calculated correctly, but I also know my body. For my insurance to cover the surgery, it usually requires a removal of 500 grams from each breast. I want to be a full C cup, and somehow, my insurance approved 80% of my surgery at 350 grams. This is my first concern. I want smaller, perkier breasts, but I do NOT want them to be too small. I want to end up being a C, not a B. I know that determining the exact end result is impossible, but if 350 grams would absolutely put me at a B, I don't want to do it. I asked him if during surgery 350 grams appears to be too much, would he err on the side of what I want or on the side of what insurance wants, and I was told it would be dependent on what surgery wants, but also that 350 grams is not a very large reduction, so I shouldn't worry too much. I am wondering if any of you on here who have had the surgery have any opinions on what 350 grams would do to me.
I am very, very concerned about the scarring. I do not want to come out looking butchered or feeling like I look like some sort of monster. My breasts are currently too large for my liking and there is more sagging than I would like, but I do like that they are not completely hideous, either. My boyfriend is supportive of the surgery, but I am so worried about not being attractive to him anymore because of the scars. He would never say or do anything to make me feel that way, but I still feel sick inside that after he sees them, he won't think I'm as attractive. If anyone has anything to say about the scarring that might put my mind at ease, please, please, feel free to share.
Some of my other concerns are losing feeling in my nipples, not feeling girly and sexy anymore, and ruining the summer, LOL, I am worried about the last part, but not nearly as much as the rest. If you have any advice about the first two things, feel free to share that as well. :) As far as "ruining the summer", this is the most convinent time for me to have the surgery. While I only have six days off from work, my job is very sedentary and I am not worried about that, however, I'm nervous about not being able to swim or play in water at all this summer. My doctor said that I can get in water as soon as my incisions close, which should be about two weeks, but I have googled myself into all of the horror stories, and I have read some peoples stories who said they couldn't swim for three months. I was just wondering how long it took for some of you to be able to get back into water. granted, I am not a swimmer by any means lol, I don't do strenuous lap swimming or anything, but I definitely plan on playing around in the pool, water parks, etc., at some point this summer.
All in all, I do want to have the surgery, but I just really need some new friends who know what I'm going through, because I am so tired of trying to talk to people who either don't understand or don't care..so..hopefully I get to talk with some of you!
Hey Everyone, My name is Shelby and I...
So I had my preop yesterday.. It all went...
It all went pretty well, except for one thing..
THEY SCREWED UP THE DATE OF MY SURGERY. All along, I have been told it would be on the 24th..nope, now it's on the 22nd. I cleared it with my work but I'm a little emotional about it because my boyfriend took the 24th off, but it's too late to get the 22nd off. He's still going to be able to take me and hopefully be there when I wake up, but he won't be able to take me home. So my dad is going to pick me up but he hasn't exactly been the most supportive or kind about this whole thing, so I'm bummed. The good news is that he's going to take me to my boyfriend's house and I'm going to stay here for a couple days while I recover. I'm not at all saying that my dad isn't a good dad, I'm sure he'll stay here for awhile until the bf gets home, but I'm glad that I'll be here for a couple days. Plus, he has a comfier bed, so that's good for sleeping on my back! Lol.
Other than the schedule mix up, my doctor helped put my mind to ease. It turns out my surgery will take place in his surgery center, instead of the hospital, which is a little scary if something goes wrong, however the anesthesiologist, the doctor, mulitipule nurses, etc. will be there, so I'm not too worried. The recovery room in his office looks way more comfortable than any recovery room in a hospital. What I like about him is that he genuinely seems like he cares about his patients. I don't feel pressured at all, and he took time to answer every single one of my questions..and trust me..I had a lot of questions lol. I didn't feel rushed or like I was on his nerves at all. He said that I'll be a medium to full C, clothes will fit me better, my breasts will "no longer be unnecessarily aged", he's going to do everything he can to ensure I have upper fullness, which he says he can't predict, but because I'm young, it shouldn't be a problem. He said that about 2% of BR pts lose nipple sensitivity, and that while it could happen, it is unlikely. As far as breastfeeding, there was a study done with 16 pts, all who had successfully breastfeed before surgery. Then after surgery, they all had another child and tried to breastfeed again..14 out of 16 could. I don't have children yet, but I imagine when I do, I'll want to breastfeed, so those statistics were nice..and if I can't breastfeed, it won't be the end of the world. As far as the incision, for optimal lift, it's going to be the anchor pattern, but the incision under my breasts will be very small, much smaller than typically done. After surgery, I can shower 24 hrs later, go to the gym to walk on the treadmill or elliptical without arms as soon as I feel up to it..he says as long as my incisions do what he think they will do, I should be able to be fully submerged in a pool within two weeks and that because I'm young, healthy, have no children, and don't smoke, he sees no reason why they won't close properly. Oh, no sex for two weeks lol. And I probably won't be comfortable having anyone see me without a shirt for "about a month". Other than the last two parts, everything else he said made me feel better lol.
I'm still worried about how small I am going to feel after. Ugh. I have curvy thighs and a curvy a** so I'm not trying to feel super small on top and curvy on the bottom lol, but the dr. thinks I will look/feel very proportinate. I'm trying to remind myself that you don't have to be a DD to be curvy. Everytime I feel like that, I google Kaley Cucuco lol, she's a 32C which I'm trying to be, and I think she is absolutely gorgeous, chest included.
I think I may have painted my boyfriend in an unfair light. He is absolutely supportive of everything I do, this included. I can understand why he may get bored of hearing about it all the time, but he has been the most reassuring person about all of this. "But I might look butchered and battered and like Frankenstine! And you're going to hate the scars! And they're going to be smaller. What if you don't like them smaller?" Through all of my whining about it, he keeps reassuring me which is what I really need. The only thing that bothers me a little is the little jokes he makes. "Awe. I'm going to miss them!" I just want to be like..don't say anything to change my mind. PLEASE, for the love of God, don't say anything to change my mind. Keep in mind, this is coming from the man who said he liked girls with A cups before I came along. I don't know. I just feel like..what if I don't feel as girly or sexy during sex? I keep forgetting that I will still have boobs! Perkier, higher, more youthful, bikini ready, fuller on top boobs. Ugh. I'm going off on a tangent here, trying to sort out my mind. -_-
Thank you to all of you for your responses..except for the first one lol. That made me a little upset, having it be the first comment I got..however, seeing as it is the ONLY comment this person has ever made and they have only been a member for a few days, I think it may have been from a lurker. Your comments and support mean a lot to me. There was one part that I disagreed a little with, about thinking that maybe I don't like my body, which definitely isn't the cause. I'm a pretty confident person and I do like my body, I just think I'll like it even more without carrying this massive load around all of the time.
Anyway, six days..
I'm probably going to update this constantly...
I am sooo so so so happy because my boyfriend was able to switch his shift at work the day of surgery. So he will be able to take me and be there when I wake up, and be with me long enough to get me settled in his house, but then he works from 4-9 that night. Nobody else will be in the house so I'm a little ehhh about being alone in case something happens, but his work is close and I figure I'll just try to sleep while he's gone. Is it crazy that I'm going to try very hard to be able to go to a drive in late that night? I've heard of people walking with dogs and going to get something to eat at a restaurant the same night, so if I'm able to, we're going to go see The Lucky One that night lol, but who knows. I hate the idea of being bed ridden, so if it works, great. At least if I do feel up to going, it's a drive in and I can relax in the car. I'm still a little annoyed with the jokes. "Baby..why don't you just get ONE reduced and then I can be HALF way happy!?" *big grin* "You know I'm totally kidding, right baby?" Or my new favorite. "Just get a lift without the reduction!! Babe! I'm just kidding!" I think he could tell it was starting to hurt my feelings a little because this morning he was more serious in telling me that "he's not bummed or sad a bit about it, and even if he was, its about my happiness with my body." I am definitely more worried about the way I will feel when he sees my scars, then how I will feel when he sees their new size and shape. He kept going on saying that it didn't bother him at all and that while he "loves my breasts" (lol), they were never the part of me, physically or emotionally, that reeled him in. After dating a lot of guys who wanted a girl with big boobies, I have to admit it is very nice to have a man who tells me I have pretty eyes, pretty hair, a beautiful heart, etc. etc. I'm a lucky girl. :) However, he did make sure of one thing.. "You're never going to get rid of your a**, right!?" I guess I'm dating more of a butt man than a boob man, haha. ;)
I'm taking tonight and tomorrow to try to completely clean my car, room, do my piles of laundry, etc. so that I can just relax and not stress about that. I won't even be staying at my house the first couple of nights, but I want to know its clean and relaxing when I get home. How long did it take before any of you were able to sleep on your sides?? I am NOT back sleeper lol, so this should be fun.
Oh, a friend saw me tonight and was like "Oh come on, your boobs don't look that big right now!!" I had just come home from work, was wearing a bra, a cami with a bra, and a somewhat loose shirt at the time this comment was made. I later was in just the bra and cami and she was like "Okay..I get it now!" Lmao. I have become so good at hiding the girls.
Anyway, thank you for the comments and for reading this. I feel like I rant way too much, but it is so nice to know that I have an online support system of people who actually understand my worries, etc. This fourm has helped me emotionally more than I ever thought it would.
I'm on my phone so this will be short but I'm on...
It is finished!! I was having a panic attack on...
The ride home was pretty smooth. We took a major freeway so it wasn't too bumpy or anything. Words can't describe how incredibly sweet and amazing Liam is being. I knew he would take care of me, but he is going above and beyond what I could have asked for. I don't want him to feel like I'm trying to have a diva or wait on me, and I'm trying to do as much as I can myself, but he keeps making me go back in the room so he can do whatever for me. I never thought at 19 my boyfriend would have to help me go to the bathroom, eat, sit up or lay down , but he is being so gracious about it. I am so lucky. God has truly blessed me with such an amazing man.
So I just took off the ace banadage and the gauze...
I feel so, so, so, nauseous. The pain was getting...
So today is post op day 3 and to be honest, I'm...
I stopped taking the Norco the first day after surgery cause it made me soo naseous, but I was surprised that ibprofeun took care of the pain just fine. I had my first post op appointment yesterday, and was soo happy that those disgusting drains came out. I've heard some people say that it was very painful to have them removed, and some people say it was just very weird. There was a tiny little bit of pain with it, but it mainly just felt weird. It felt like a worm wiggling itself out of my skin lol. Needless to say, I am very glad that they are gone. My boobs are starting to look more like boobs! So that's exciting lol. The dr. and nurse both said that they looked great for only being a couple of days out of surgery. And you know how I thought they looked like a B cup? The dr. said that they are "easily a C, might even be a small D". Now I'm just praying that I'm not a D lol but I don't think I am. Regardless of what cup size I technically am, they are SO much smaller and perkier and I look like I've lost a bunch of weight. The cherry on the top of the cake? I was so nervous about my boyfriend being grossed out by the scars, and I think he actually likes them more now lol. I have been sleeping in a super tight sports bra and had it on pretty much 24/7 to keep the swelling down, but I just needed to let them breathe for a little bit last night and so I was laying there with no shirt on and he was like "Oh my gosh! They're so perky! They don't fall to the sides when you lay on your back anymore!" Lol. Oh, and the absoloute best part of this recovery?? We had our first "I love you" moment. :)) I know that sounds incredibly cheesy but yeah.. that's about the best pain medicine a girl can get. :) I've been able to get out of the house at least once every day.. saw a movie (though I slept through most of it lol), grabbed some dinner, went to my best friends house..tonight I'm going to try the gym. Just the bike with no arm movement.
OH, this is gross, but for anyone who hasn't had the surgery yet..prepare for this! Lol. I already have IBS and some digestive issues and I'm usually kind of bloated and backed up anyway, but you WILL be after this surgery! Lol. I usually take three ducolax when I'm having tummy troubles, and they give you absoloutely horrendus cramps, but they usually work very fast. I usually take them right before I go to sleep and six or so hours later, all of my problems are gone lol. Well, after clearing it with my dr., I took the usual three last night..got the usual cramps..and it took hours and hours before I got any relief, so if there's something that works for you to keep you from being bloated, start before surgery. Eat well, take colace, up your fiber, something, because last night I wasn't in pain from my chest, just my stomach. I was actually so bloated that yesterday morning I weighed 137lbs, and this morning I weighed 133lbs..so yeah..don't forget about your tummy during all of this! Lol.
Can't wait for June 5th to get here so I can be cleared to go buy pretty bras and bikinis. :D
Dr. Freed and his staff have been amazing. They took great care of me today and did everything to ensure I was comfortable and not in pain. Dr. Freed is a very caring man and even prays with you before surgery if you are okay with it. His anesthesiologist, Dr. Engel, is equally as wonderful. She calls you the night before to speak with you personally. Both Dr. Freed and Dr. Engel take time to answer every single question you have thoughtfully, honestly, and considerately. I haven't been back for my follow up yet, however, I already put the five stars because I know in my heart it will be of the exact same quality as the rest of my appointments. I haven't seen my own personal incisions/scars yet, but I know he did a fabulous job, I can just tell. And I have seen pictures of his other work. They do not post them online, but you can view them in his office and his scars seem to fade beautifully.