So my story begins in 2001. me: 21, young, stupid....
So my story begins in 2001. me: 21, young, stupid. Impressionable. I lost 80 lbs quickly and my voluptuous DD's turned in to saggy little B's. I was also with a guy that really pressured me into always looking my best and this included having nice boobies. I had made quite a few friends who worked in the adult entertainment industry and I got to see their perfect boobies and I was like I want that for myself. My boyfriend at the time agreed so we booked a consultation and surgery a couple weeks later.
This is where my story is different from others. I LOVED my boobs. I felt so sexy and finally felt like I was worth something. I worked many jobs, and most had a direct relationship with the size of my breasts and the amount of money I could make... serving, bartending or whatever.
But here is the problem. a few years ago. I was play fighting with some guy at a house party, and he totally kicked my ass. Maybe it was just the straw that broke the camels back but since that day I have chronic neck scapular and upper thoracic pain most of the time. I have had MRI's X rays test after test that don't really indicate anything. My thought is that even if the implants are not directly responsible for my pain, carrying around the 5 to 7 extra lbs in front can't be exactly helping. Im tired of paying for special treatments, taking pills, complaining that I hurt to my fiancé, so at this point I am willing to do anything to get my life back.
Things have changed for me since I was 21. I have a degree and am working as a nurse. I am more self conscious about my breasts now than proud. but there is still a large part of me that struggles with this decision.
I am afraid of feeling like I am loosing a piece of myself, like the confidence I gained from the implant will disappear with their removal, that my fiance (who has been so supportive) will no longer love me the same way post explant. No one know that I have implants. When I tell people everyone says oh they look so natural, which they do because I am a larger framed girl. I wonder of this means that I wiill look extremely dis proportionate once I remove them. I was a 34B. I am now a 32 g-I.
Thanks for listening. Ill post pics soon :)
oh I should also mention that insurance covers the explant so if I just do that and noting else I wont have to pay. But I believe who heartily that I will need a lift. I have not had children yet so that is also something to consider ... ahh decisions descisions
SO I have a consult date on May 30th with a...
SO I have a consult date on May 30th with a reconstructive surgeon. My insurnce covers explant but no additional proceedures such as lift and whatnot. I am positive now that I am explanting without replacement and I want a lift. I am just trying to figure out if I should do it all at once or stack that surgery for 6mo later. I have read a bout a rare complication of the fat and breast tissue becoming necrotic due to lack of blood supply. Does anyone know any more about this? My husband is being so supportive which is really helping in this decision. My back muscles are in knots again as I am in a super flair (what I call my pain when it acts up) and my neck is super tight. I am really hoping this procedure helps these annoying symptoms, and I can return to my normally healthy active lifestyle!!! Thanks again to all the ladies who post on here, it has been so helpful to me in this huge decision!
So yesterday I had my first consult and I think I...
So yesterday I had my first consult and I think I am set on going with this doctor. He was so kind and understanding and did not even try to discuss re-implanting. He told me that he rarely will implant anything over 400ccs as he sees teh complications pain, cc etc of the larger implants. He did follow with "who knows, maybe in 10 years somone will be removing my work too".
My explant will be free of cost and my surgery date is booked for the 23rd of sept. I am excited! He wants to wait a couple months to do teh lift to see how my natural breast tissue settes and I am fine with this I think..
I just hope that getting the weight of my neck and back will finally allow me to recover. I am just so sick of the tightness in my neck back and chest. Can anyone tell me if these symptoms resolved post explant (whoever had these symptoms?) It just feels as tough my trapezious is always solid as a rock :)
Anyway I am excited. I have another consult at the end of the month but I am pretty sure I am going with this Doc. Very kind and respectful. The only thing I did not like was that they had no pictures of the word these doctors do and the assistant said its because each case is unique and individual and pics tend to leave more questions then answers. I don;t know if this is canadian thing or what, but I figure he will do the explant free because heathcare will pay for it. He also told me that he will remove teh anterior part my capsules because if you leave them in the tissue has a hard time healing against itself as it is 2 smooth surfaces and this tends to lead to seromas and whatnot.
So thank you again ladies for your ongoing support. Without this group, I dont think I would be doing this.
xoxo Much love and healing energy sent out to you all xoxox
A second opinion......
So i had my second consult today with the surgeon i really wanted to see from the beginning. What a difference a second opinion makes ... am I ever confused now. I thought I was settled on the first surgeon, but the second one pointed out things that the first didn't.
Dr #2 is suggesting that we deflate the implants as I have saline. He wants to do it in the minor surgery clinic (covered by healthcare). and then wait a month to do the lift and implant removal. He is suggesting that I have only specific parts of the capsule removed because he is concerned about blood flow to my nipple and he wants to remove only enough that that would re-adhere my tissue to my chest wall.
He is concerned about this because i had a areolar lift with my implants so my nipple blood supply has already been compromised once.
I would love to hear from anyone who has opted for the deflation prior to explantation. How was it? what kind of bras can you wear? are the shells uncomfortable? can you see teh distortion through clothes?
I am at a loss for what to do. I really just want it over and hate that I have to do it in stages, but he really is concerned about blood supply and preventing tissue death and whatnot.
This doctor specializes in breast reconstruction and all he does is breast surgeries so I trust his opinion. there was also no pressure for me to sign or schedule anything. He just asked me to simply think it over.
I am stuck at what to do. My husband seems concerned about the deflation. I have assured him that its just saline but he still feels like letting the fluid drain into me is a bad idea. I just can wait until this is all over. I am so tired about worrying about all this stuff. Any and all support would be appreciated!!
Thank you ladies xoxo
Sept 26th .. get here already!! .. excited!
13 Aug 2013
3 months post
So Not much has happened since my last post jsut playing the waiting game and man is it ever brutal. Waiting waiting waiting. That being said though, time is actually going by so fast. I will have the money to pay for my lift and explant as schduled for Nov 1st but what I am most excited about is the deflation and getting this weight off my back and neck. I really hope this helps with the pain .. that is my main thing. If this reduces the pain I wont care about the empty sacs of skin I have left lol. Quality of life is just so much more important! I want to be able to exercise and stretch and do yoga and be active again! Welll Thank you all you ladies for your support! mmuuaahh!
2 weeks to go! I can't believe this is really Happening!!
10 Sep 2013
4 months post
So I looked at the calendar today and I realized that I have 2 weeks left of this extra weight in front! I was hoping to loose 20 lbs before this all happened but I only lost 10 :( Maybe I will loose more after the weight is removed from my chest and I can work out again!
I am super scared of how I am going to look afterwards. I have an amazing supportive husband but I am so big busted now so I know there is going to be a lot of extra skin to deal with until my lift, I am liftig one month later so I guess I shouldnt complain. I kinda just wish I was on the other side already because this anticipation is driving me nuts! If my back and neck feel better after deflation it will be all worth it and I will just have to accept how I look at the end of it all. This is all just very interesting stuff. Thanks for listening ladies! I appreciate your support!!! Im gonna need it after I get rid of these bad boys.. in more way than one :))
Peace and love
Tomorrow is the day!
25 Sep 2013
4 months post
So Tomorrow is D day - Deflation day and I am feeling so many emotions, I don't know where to begin. I had a "last supper" last night with my friends and husband, all who have been really supportive through this process. I will be deflated for a month and then a lift Nov 1st. This is to give my tissue a chance to contract so I can get the best possible outcome from a lift. Being that my breasts are so big 700cc's my doc wants to see what my natural tissue does first prior to lifting. I am ok with this idea, but I am feeling liek this is going to be a difficult month for me with regards to potential body image issues and coping. I am quite small in the waist 28 inches but quite large in the hips 42inches so I don't look forward to my body going from hourglass to pear. I do look forward to my back and neck not hurting all the time so I guess if this deflation fixes this it will be all worth it. I just can't stant the unknowns. Like, how an di going to look after? Is my pain going to improve or be eliminated completely? If this doesn't happen, how will I cope? Will I still socialize or be a hermit until my next surgery? These questions just keep circulating in my mind ... My stomach is in knots. I guess we will all know tomorrow lol. Thank you everyone for your support! Im going to need it literally :) xoxox peace xoxo
Deflated!!! Loving my new size!!
28 Sep 2013
4 months post
QSo I got deflated a couple days ago and I needed some time to adjust, and I must say now I am loving my smaller size. The only think I don't love is the feeling of the crumpled up implant inside of me. One of my breasts is bigger than the other by a half cup size and it is really noticeable but it was like that before augment. my breasts actually look better than before augment due to the lift hd the first time. I was not anticipating this! My surgeon wants me to wait even longer now for the lift portion of the operation as my right breast is quite a bit smaller than the left and he wants the beast possible outcome, so we are going to schedule the explant surgery to get rid of the shells and then maybe a lift in 6 months. I am ok with teh way I did things because I needed the lift scheduled to mentally cope with all possible outcomes of how I looked after. My back pain is the same so far but I think my body and back needs a change to adjust, so I will keep updating on that. I even bought new bras at victoria secret the next day and measured at a 34C!! I cant even believe it, I love my natural boobs! A little scary out of a bra but with a little help from my friends sat victoria secret,, BAM! Thanks to all you ladies who helped and supported me along the way! xoxo
34 C's the money shots!
30 Oct 2013
5 months post
So here are pics of my progress, I have been taking them weekly. I havent been posting as I have been taking them because I am making it a mission not to be body obsessed. I do understand that these pics may help others with the same difficult decision I made. I am still happy I got these things deflated, and I finally get them removed on Nov 4th in minor surgery. Only local with a week off for recovery. My surgeon says I wont need any down time, but after reading about seromas from others I have decided that a 10 days off is a good idea as I am a nurse and do a lot of heavy lifting with work. Anyhow ladies, lots of love to you all! Good luck on your individual journeys :)
finallt 100 percent implant free!
so I had my implant removal done at the minor surgery clinic under local anastetic. it was ok with regards to pain. the numbing injections worked ok but it was strange having them pulledout of me . there is nothing else that feels like that creepy feeling lol but it lasted an hour. he sutured me up and off I went. the pain started a few hours later when the freezing wore off after that and tylenol works for the inscision pain whuch feels like kinda a burning sensation.
I got to keep my old implants and they are huge. can't believe they were inside me for so long. they just seem like so foreign to me now, but I must say that I also had some sadness with them being 100 percent gone.
as for my breasts, they feel a little more loose without the implant shell keeping the tissue in order but I am hoping this resolves in time.
my doc is reccomending I wait to have t he lift until I have kids as we are planning to start trying in 10 months so he advises me to wait until after. this whole experience cost me nothing as it was covered under healthcare which shows how good my doc it cause he made way less $$ by not doing the lift.
anyway ladies thanks for listening. updater pics to come.