POSTED UNDER Tattoo Removal REVIEWS
Regretting the Tattoo the Day After...Switzerland
ORIGINAL POST
Hi all, I have had my 2nd tattoo done 5 days ago....
LFCELINEAugust 1, 2015
Hi all,
I have had my 2nd tattoo done 5 days ago. I had started thinking about it - based on a lengthy text which, of course, means a lot to me - around 2 years ago. This summer, it hit me: I was ready to do it. I thought about it, where I wanted it, how I wanted it to look.
My first tattoo, on the inner arm, was done more than 10 years ago, and even if the design isn't the most original nor the most beautiful, I have never really regretted it. It's part of me, I don't question it at all.
Now, the 2nd one. It went wrong all because of me. First the drawing was like twice as big as what I thought. When I saw it on drawn myself, I stupidly got seduced by it. It was also different than what I thought, but I convinced myself to go ahead with it.
She started, and 3 painful hours later, it was done.
Initially, I felt great. So cool. Yay.
The next day, I knew I had made a terrible mistake.
I'm 31, and right now am overwhelmed with the shame I feel with this wrong decision. I haven't slept in 5 days, get an anxiety peak every 2 hours, and not much appetite. I'm overwhelmed by the realisation that I, myself, have willingly made my body into something that is just not me. The thing is too big, I feel like I gave myself a jail gang look, and because of my rejection of it, can't even tell whether it looks sort of good or not. I just hate it, and myself for doing it.
I have already taken an appointment in a laser removal clinic in 2 days, and will go see a couple more in the next few days before deciding where and when to start the process. I'm firmly decided to go forward with it because I can't stand the thought of this tattoo on my body for the rest of my life.
I am bracing for the process - the length, pain, commitment needed, financial investment, the phases where the thing looks downright awful etc. I even feel like, even having a ghost mark or some scars would be better than this awful drawing. I'm afraid of the cost, due to the size, although I'm naively hoping that mostly thin lettering lines without too much filling alleviates the cost a bit.
Probably the most difficult part right now for me is to retrieve inner peace, regardless of how the laser removal goes. I know I have to find the strength to forgive myself and live with this important episode in my life.
But this proves to be very hard. I am feeling down about myself. I feel ashamed for my family and will try to hide it from them forever - hopefully until it's gone.
I just can't wait to be in a better stage of the whole thing. Being able to accept, forgive, move on. I can't wait (few days more) to be able to do sports again to express the frustration positively.
What a nightmare. Lengthy story, but I needed to get it out.
I have had my 2nd tattoo done 5 days ago. I had started thinking about it - based on a lengthy text which, of course, means a lot to me - around 2 years ago. This summer, it hit me: I was ready to do it. I thought about it, where I wanted it, how I wanted it to look.
My first tattoo, on the inner arm, was done more than 10 years ago, and even if the design isn't the most original nor the most beautiful, I have never really regretted it. It's part of me, I don't question it at all.
Now, the 2nd one. It went wrong all because of me. First the drawing was like twice as big as what I thought. When I saw it on drawn myself, I stupidly got seduced by it. It was also different than what I thought, but I convinced myself to go ahead with it.
She started, and 3 painful hours later, it was done.
Initially, I felt great. So cool. Yay.
The next day, I knew I had made a terrible mistake.
I'm 31, and right now am overwhelmed with the shame I feel with this wrong decision. I haven't slept in 5 days, get an anxiety peak every 2 hours, and not much appetite. I'm overwhelmed by the realisation that I, myself, have willingly made my body into something that is just not me. The thing is too big, I feel like I gave myself a jail gang look, and because of my rejection of it, can't even tell whether it looks sort of good or not. I just hate it, and myself for doing it.
I have already taken an appointment in a laser removal clinic in 2 days, and will go see a couple more in the next few days before deciding where and when to start the process. I'm firmly decided to go forward with it because I can't stand the thought of this tattoo on my body for the rest of my life.
I am bracing for the process - the length, pain, commitment needed, financial investment, the phases where the thing looks downright awful etc. I even feel like, even having a ghost mark or some scars would be better than this awful drawing. I'm afraid of the cost, due to the size, although I'm naively hoping that mostly thin lettering lines without too much filling alleviates the cost a bit.
Probably the most difficult part right now for me is to retrieve inner peace, regardless of how the laser removal goes. I know I have to find the strength to forgive myself and live with this important episode in my life.
But this proves to be very hard. I am feeling down about myself. I feel ashamed for my family and will try to hide it from them forever - hopefully until it's gone.
I just can't wait to be in a better stage of the whole thing. Being able to accept, forgive, move on. I can't wait (few days more) to be able to do sports again to express the frustration positively.
What a nightmare. Lengthy story, but I needed to get it out.
Replies (18)
August 1, 2015
Hey man. Don't be depressed , I was in same position . Worst thing u can do . Your tattoo does not look bad at all . It's gonna be okay man
August 3, 2015
Thanks for the support. I was actually afraid I would fall in a small depression but things are looking up now. Sleeping helps A LOT. It's going to be okay, and I'm now looking forward to challenge myself in the removal process. I want to prove myself that I can be focused on achieving this results, as a way of countering the embarrassment of doing the mistake.
Good luck for your journey!
Good luck for your journey!
August 2, 2015
I'm an Italian girl and I'm in The same position. It's very depressing. But we must wait....I'm crying every single Day. My Tattoo is on my forearm and it makes me feel ugly. it's really hard:(
August 3, 2015
Ciao... it's hard and painful but it gets better. We need to focus on accepting what's happened and find the best outcome from this. For me the best outcome is to understand why I did it, to accept myself as a fallible human, and to have a plan to fix it the best way possible.
I'm ready to go with the removal, understanding the time it takes, the possibility of disappointing results, the price, and understanding that I'll need to focus on the journey - being strong, patient, and put everything on my side to succeed by living an even healthier lifestyle than I had before.
This will bring me something good. A better understanding of myself, stronger will, and even better health habits.
I'm ready to go with the removal, understanding the time it takes, the possibility of disappointing results, the price, and understanding that I'll need to focus on the journey - being strong, patient, and put everything on my side to succeed by living an even healthier lifestyle than I had before.
This will bring me something good. A better understanding of myself, stronger will, and even better health habits.
August 4, 2015
I think it looks quite classy. It's very nice. But I understand you not liking it, since I'm removing a tattoo that people tell me is fine!
August 4, 2015
Haha thanks! yes, I think it looks nice, I could appreciate it... if it was on someone else! Or if it was way smaller maybe. But not like that :)
August 10, 2015
aloha LFCEline: I understand your sadness, anxiety and lack of appetite. It could be part of the ink regret. I went through the same thing almost 3 years ago when I got my tattoo. I have lots of tattoos but this latest was a disaster (IMHO) and yet dreamed, and planned for so long. I cried for days, hardly ate, thought my life was ruined. I was a complete mess. I couldn't sleep and when I was able to sleep, I would awake crying knowing the ink was there and not just a horrible dream. I found great relief through journaling my experience on this forum, in a private journal, and then I got much more relief from a consultation. I was told the more contrast between the ink and the skin colour, the better results with fading. I also found relief knowing that I was not the only one going through this, there are many on this website/forum who have ink regret. At times, we can be our own worst enemy. I hope you find some solace, some peace with a consultation. I understand that your connection with the text makes the tattoo more meaningful, but perhaps in another form would be best. Good luck, and keep us posted, we are all here for you. aloha...k
August 10, 2015
Been on this forum for a couple of months now (almost immediately after my tattoo) and yours words truly touched me. I am having horrendous panic attacks and cry on intervals because I just cannot adjust to this new image of myself. Logically I understand that it's just ink and maybe others will judge me silly for worrying about nothing. I'm grateful that I am healthy and I don't have anything that is physically causing me pain. Yet still, I feel like I am obsessed with this tattoo and it is consuming my emotions.
May I ask if you ever gotten it removed or did you get used to it and liked/loved it?
May I ask if you ever gotten it removed or did you get used to it and liked/loved it?
August 10, 2015
aloha Gaiam; I am glad that you are finding solace with the forum, it is very therapeutic to release our minds, our thoughts, and then hit "send" and out it goes into cyber world. Then we discover that there are others hiding their ink, and we find comfort knowing that we are not alone.
Yes, it is just ink, but our minds, our obsessive thoughts, wears us down and then we become sad, agitated, anxious...and then someone says "oh it's just ink" but we think "no, it's so much more".
Did I get ever get rid of my ink? It is a process, I am still pursuing fading. I took almost 2 years off because of the clinic where I go to closed, and graduate school was very thought consuming. But I had a session a few weeks back, and I see more fading all the time. I am pushing through and this ink will be faded as much as possible. If that takes another year, or two, that's okay. My happiness does not have an expiration date, I am pursuing happiness all the time, every day, and I am achieving happiness in small doses. Good luck with your removal experience, and please know you are not alone, we are all here. aloha...k
Yes, it is just ink, but our minds, our obsessive thoughts, wears us down and then we become sad, agitated, anxious...and then someone says "oh it's just ink" but we think "no, it's so much more".
Did I get ever get rid of my ink? It is a process, I am still pursuing fading. I took almost 2 years off because of the clinic where I go to closed, and graduate school was very thought consuming. But I had a session a few weeks back, and I see more fading all the time. I am pushing through and this ink will be faded as much as possible. If that takes another year, or two, that's okay. My happiness does not have an expiration date, I am pursuing happiness all the time, every day, and I am achieving happiness in small doses. Good luck with your removal experience, and please know you are not alone, we are all here. aloha...k
August 10, 2015
Your attitude is contagious! I'm happy to hear that you have stayed positive and persistent. If I may ask, did you end up doing the picosure procedure? If so, do you see better changes than in any other technique you've tried?
August 13, 2015
Hi Kahelelani, many thanks for your kind words. I agree that keeping a journal of this experience here will surely help, it has already even though I'm at the very beginning of the process. The consultation also helps, although the doubts and impossibility to guarantee results is weighing on me. I'm also debating keeping one part of the tattoo - the first sentence basically. Which could put some sense and meaning in the entire experience, even if some marks are left...
Anyway... looking up :)
Anyway... looking up :)
August 15, 2015
The beauty of removal is that you are in charge of what is to be lasered. Keep what you like, and have the rest blasted away. Good luck, and I am glad that you are looking up...life will fly by when you wear a smile...aloha...k
UPDATED FROM LFCELINE
1st consultation
LFCELINEAugust 5, 2015
I went yesterday to the first of 3 removal clinics I intend to visit. Place looked clean and professional, they only do tattoo removal, nothing else.
We start by looking at the tattoo, and the guy immediately brightens and tells me that he's very confident that kind of tattoo with my type of skin should go away completely.
He answered all my questions and when I asked for photos he actually did one better: he showed me his assistant's neck, where there used to be a big black star. Well, you could tell something barely visible had been done to the skin, but there was no way to tell there had been a tattoo there. I have to say, that was a nice sales pitch.
From the price, he quoted 350 per session, which was actually below my expectations so that was a positive surprise too. But he didn't want to estimate how many sessions it would take - anywhere from 6 to 12. He preferred to mention that it would be between a year and a year &1/2, depending on my skin's capacity to heal.
They have the Fotona QX Max. I'll go to get other opinions elsewhere, but at the very least, this starts well.
Start date would be september.
We start by looking at the tattoo, and the guy immediately brightens and tells me that he's very confident that kind of tattoo with my type of skin should go away completely.
He answered all my questions and when I asked for photos he actually did one better: he showed me his assistant's neck, where there used to be a big black star. Well, you could tell something barely visible had been done to the skin, but there was no way to tell there had been a tattoo there. I have to say, that was a nice sales pitch.
From the price, he quoted 350 per session, which was actually below my expectations so that was a positive surprise too. But he didn't want to estimate how many sessions it would take - anywhere from 6 to 12. He preferred to mention that it would be between a year and a year &1/2, depending on my skin's capacity to heal.
They have the Fotona QX Max. I'll go to get other opinions elsewhere, but at the very least, this starts well.
Start date would be september.
Replies (4)
August 7, 2015
Tut mir leid, das zu hören. Vor knapp 2 Jahren befand ich mich in einer ähnlichen Situation. Aus diesem Grund kann ich Dir nur anraten, möglichst schnellst mit der Behandlung zu beginnen. Du wirst sehen, dass es Dir nach jeder Sitzung ein bisschen besser gehen wird. Ich liess mir mein Tattoo im "PREVENTION CENTER" in Zürich entfernen. Das Tattoo wurde mit einem Picosure Laser entfernt. Das Tattoo schmückte fast meinen halben Rücken. Insgesamt waren 12 überaus anstrengende und schmerzhafte Sitzungen notwendig, bevor das Tattoo verschwand. Übrig geblieben ist nur noch ein weisser Schatten quasi wie die Outlines eines Tattoos. Zweifelsohne bin ich mit dem Ergebnis extrem zu frieden. Anfangs zahlte ich pro Behandlung Fr. 1000.- Nach der dritten oder vierten Behandlung wurde mir nur noch die Hälfte bzw. Fr. 500.- verrechnet. Die Kosten für die letzten Sitzungen beliefen sich noch auf Fr. 150.- Wie du sehen kannst, handelt es sich um eine extrem kostspielige und langwierige Angelegenheit. Die Laserbehandlung wurde sehr kompetent durchgeführt. Die behandelnde Stelle wurde umgehend gekühlt und durch kalte Luft beruhigt. Ich kann das "PREVENTION CENTER" nur empfehlen.
August 10, 2015
Fantasic experience with the consultation and to see in person, another's results; pictures are good, but real life is so much better. And even better to find that your price per session is lower than what you expected. It is all working out so great for you. I am so happy for you. Good luck with your first session next month, eat healthy, relax the day before and after the session, follow all the guidelines for healing and keep us posted. I am so excited for you, you are on your way to having ink regret a faded memory. :) aloha...k
UPDATED FROM LFCELINE
Well... time heals everything ?
LFCELINEApril 1, 2016
Short update : I have not started any procedure. After the initial "panic" reaction, and taking information on how, where, how much, I let everything rest for a few months.
I am now in peace with my tattoo. It has taken months but I'm now happy to have done it. There are still moments where I have a reject reaction to it, but mostly, I'm in a place where I found back the meaning of it to me, and the tattoo has basically started to become a part of me.
I won't remove it !
I am now in peace with my tattoo. It has taken months but I'm now happy to have done it. There are still moments where I have a reject reaction to it, but mostly, I'm in a place where I found back the meaning of it to me, and the tattoo has basically started to become a part of me.
I won't remove it !
Replies (3)
April 3, 2016
Thanks for sharing, I think it's a great tattoo and glad you've made peace with it. Your reactions are totally normal, it took me awhile to get used to my back piece, and there is always that after thought of "should I have done this or that instead".☺
I have to say the weekend gave a better outlook on things. I still am pissed about the mistake but I understand it's simply part of life. I'm trying to see things differently: if my sole "large" regret in life is this, it means I'm actually doing ok.
But yeah, I see your point regarding health, but with these things, I'm a bit more carefree. I have two cellphones, wi-fi everywhere I go, and other types of technologies which we don't know if they might not damage our health or not. Laser has been in use for decades now and apparently there's not too much indication that they are dangerous. I tend to trust doctors - since I'm a doctor's son !
Glad to hear you are feeling better LFCELINE -- it looks like you have put things into perspective and that is a huge and important step - way to go!