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're scheduled

So my anxiety got the best of me and I am currently waiting. Not only was it anxiety but my grandma has been admitted to icu. My mom has been a complete basket case as her and my grandma are extremely close. My mom has a hard time with sickness and death since my baby sisters un expected death a few years ago. So I cant be there for my mom or grandma if I am nervous or recovering. At this point I will wait till end of summer so I can enjoy my pool and the lake. As well as my grandson coming for the summer from AZ. I will keep following you all and watch your progress. Pray for those getting ready thanks ladies
lynne

freaking

Ok actually sent an email asking if I could cancle had an anxiety attack and my grandma has been admitted into icu as well not a good day today :(

one week to go Yikes! !!

So one week be for my mtt lipo no muscle repair. My OCD is still kicking but I do find myself getting excited at times too. I have wanted this for sometime I actually had lipo scheduled at the time of my BA reversion a few years ago. Yhe doctor who did my reversion (different dr that did first BA) said lipo would tighten my skin and I would not be happy with scar cause he could tell by my attitude :/. Needless to say i had the same type of anxiety OCD as I do now. And the morning of surgery I chickened out of both. A year later I went back to him for the BA reversion but opted out of the lipo. The cnra was amazing got me high and had surgery. Since then i tried red light therapy to tighten skin and loose the little fat i have. It worked for a few days but was not permanent . So here I am a year later and scheduled for next monday. I find my self looking in mirror asking do I really need this? Is it worth it?? How much pain?? How long before I can be back in gym?? Then I pull the skin taunt and imagine the little bit of fat gone and for a brief minute I gwt excited and say d amn I will be hot ;) . Then intrusive thoughts vicious cycle. Any ways I told my husband if the dr called tomorrow and said they had a cancellation I jump at it just to STOP THIS RIDICULOUS OBSESSIVE THOUGHT S. I have told a lot of people I am not ashamed . Well that's all for tonite gonna look through some reviews and check on sone people I have been following. Good night ladies .