27 Year Old No Longer Willing to Live with Pain

On 08/15 I had my “one month” (more like 6 week) post op. It lasted about five minutes, if that. The take-aways were that I can now wear whatever wireless bra I want. I can sleep without a bra on if I want to (which I did that night for the first time since surgery and it was glorious!). For scar care he recommended either silicone tape, or silicone gel sheeting. I think the surgical tape I was using post op is a big part of why my incisions have healed well so far, so I’ve started using silicone tape now. It’s much more pleasant because it doesn’t leave sticky residue on my skin and seems to be easier to take off.

The weekend before my appointment my surgical bras were getting so insufferable that I made my first brief foray into bra shopping at Target. It was weird to pretty much have no idea what size I should try on. I tried on a 38D and a 36D plus a few large ones without cups. I would tentatively say my current size is 36D. I only tried on 6 bras though, so I still have quite a few other sizes to try. I don’t want to buy too many new bras because I know my size and shape will continue to change, but I do need a few pairs now that I have abandoned the surgical ones. I also need to find a very supportive sports bra for when I get back into Kickboxing at the beginning of September. I bought a 36D wireless bra and a grey cup-less but I plan to get more soon.

I thought I would end on some very mild and brief negativity because I feel like some of my recent posts have made it seem like everything is sunshine and rainbows, and I want to remain honest talking about my experience. I have been taking Ibuprofen pretty much non-stop since surgery because I do still have quite a bit of soreness, especially at the end of the day. Fortunately, my pain has been very responsive to it. I’d also like to clarify that my neck pain and shoulder pain is not gone after surgery (though it is somewhat improved). My body may just still be adjusting to my new normal and my efforts to adjust my posture, so hopefully this will get better with time. Lastly, though my healing is on the whole going really great, I do have one “problem area”. My left nipple seems kind of puffy and there is one area where the edge looks a little raised. Anyway, I asked about it at my appointment and the doc said it should resolve itself over the next few months. I also still don’t have feeling in my nipples.

I want to be very clear none of this has made me regret the surgery because the pros definitely outweigh the cons. I also expect a lot of these cons to be temporary, so I’m not too worried about them. Just wanted to stay 100.

I may have done a little too much yesterday because I'm pretty sore today. I'm close to one month post and I don't understand how some women go back to the gym after a month. I still get sore just doing the walking I have to in my daily life. Anyway, yesterday I changed the tape on my right breast and things are looking good. It took me way too long to realize the black parts are (dissolvable?) stitches, not scabs. In the afternoon I went to Dress Barn as I was super curious to see how surgery affected my clothes shopping. I'm waiting till I'm more healed and dropped to do my major wardrobe overall, but wanted to have some fun. I wasn't a size smaller like I thought I might be, but I did greatly improve my dressing room success rate. It's amazing how dresses just overall fit better when a third of the fabric isn't being taken up by boob. I did some damage on my credit card but it was worth it for the pretty clothes and boost to my self confidence. In the evening I couldn't help myself and started the process of figuring out what in my closet I can get rid of (i.e. donate to charity) by trying on a bunch of stuff. Some things are too big now, or I stretched them out in the boob area (see pic). The best part are the clothes that were too small and now fit much better. I see a whole world of cute clothes opened to me and I'm ecstatic. I can't even get my mind around how this will impact bra shopping. But that's for another day when I'm less sore.

I showed my mother a picture to show her how well my incisions are healing. Her comment, "I don't think they're too small". WTH? I didn't mention anything about the size. You wouldn't say that if there wasn't some doubt in your mind. My Myom is really great at saying the exact wrong thing sometimes :/ The past few weeks I've gone back and forth about how I feel about the size, but decided not to worry since I know the shape and size will change over the next few months. But it really is so easy for one thing to send you into despair when it comes to body image. I'll try my best to continue my optimistic outlook though.