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Depression, Disappointment, and Major Regret

I can't believe I am about to share pictures of my nude body online. But my ordeal has driven me to the point of depression and anger and I need to give an honest review and account of my experience to a community of like minded individuals who will not trivialize my feelings.
When I turned 40, I decided that I wanted to give myself a makeover, to boost my confidence. I was thin but not toned and had some loose skin due to the natural aging process. I have never had children, I eat very healthy, workout regularly, and have maintained the same weight of 115 lbs (I'm 5'5") for many years. However, working out was just not giving me the definition I was striving for. I had some pockets of fat on my tummy and around my midsection and hips that just wouldn't tighten up no matter how much I worked out. So, I decided to have vaser liposuction. I was enticed by the idea that vaser, as opposed to traditional lipo, had a tightening effect and would give me the definition I wanted to achieve.
Another major surgery I had always wanted was a breast lift. Years prior, in my 20s, I had a breast reduction and I loved the way they looked. But, of course, with age and time, they were sagging and I wanted them to match the new body I was about to get.
After almost a year of research and finally having the time, I decided to have the procedures I wanted done in Turkiye.
I had previously had surgery on my face in Turkiye with great success. Turkish doctors have extensive experience with ethnic skin, features, and bone structure. I thought this would be advantageous to me to have my procedures with a surgeon who had experience with all body types of different ethnicities.
I found Dr Huseyin Kandulu after researching vaser liposuction. He was being referred to as a the "King of Vaser" all over social media. After seeing before and after pictures on his website and Instagram, I decided to have my procedures performed by him.
After months of correspondence with this assistant, I decided to have the following procedures:
Vaser lipo on my stomach, hips, lower back, upper back, upper arms, neck (under chin and jawline), and a breast lift (without implants), and J-Plasma as a last minute add on to ensure skin tightening,
In all, I ended up paying $20,000 (NOT including flight, hotel, transport, medicine, everyday expenses, etc.).
During my consultation with Dr. K, we thoroughly discussed my goals, especially the breast lift which was the most important to me. He had proposed using implants, which I was staunchly against as I had mentioned to his assistant during our correspondence. But Dr. K assured me he could do the lift without implants. So we decided to inject the fat that would be collected from my abs, hips, back, arms, and neck into my breasts to help with the lifting effect.
As for my abs, he suggested a reverse tummy tuck so that there would be one incision line as opposed to two (one under the breasts). He assured me this was the best option.
I know that with any surgery, discomfort and pain is to be expected. And I have had plastic surgery before so I was fully aware of this. However, the pain I felt after surgery was excruciating. I couldn't get out of my hospital bed without a nurse yanking me out of bed by my hand. Standing up straight was impossible. When I attempted to stand up, it felt as though the skin under my breasts was ripping apart. Sleeping was impossible as I couldn't find a comfortable position to sleep in. I had open wounds front and back. And leaving the bed took forever as I had to figure out how to roll off without hurting myself. I can't imagine what its like for women who have breast surgery AND BBL at the same time. How the hell do you sleep?? The next few days, in my hotel room, I would cry from the pain and frustration of trying to get out of bed. I never realized how many muscles I needed to use just to lift myself up off the bed and simply walk to the bathroom. I was constantly hunched over, afraid to rip anything. I couldn't even lift up my arms, let alone push myself up and off the bed. The reverse tummy tuck combined with the breast lift was a huge mistake. Had I known then what misery it would have caused me, I wouldn't have consented to it.
After a few days, they finally removed my bandages and my compression garments. At first, my body looked tight and defined. But my breasts looked misshapen, square, uneven, and drastically smaller which was surprising since he was to inject the fat we collected into the lower half of my breasts. When I asked if the fat had been injected, they assured me it had been but it was too soon to see the results. But if the fat was injected, wouldn't they be swollen? There were folds of skin between my breasts and under my armpits, which they assured me, once again, would flatten out and go away with time. I didn't want to jump to conclusions and gave them the benefit of the doubt. However, I did notice something strange when I was given my discharge paperwork. The papers said I had a breast reduction. Maybe it was a language barrier issue but I just couldn't stop thinking about this detail later.
When I got back home to the states, I continuously wore the compression garments, religiously, day and night and tended to my wounds diligently. As the weeks and months went on, my breasts weren't changing much from the first time they removed my dressings. In fact, they were getting saggy again. And my skin was reverting back to its original condition prior to surgery. I had no definition in my abs as I had expected. I reached out to Dr. K's assistant again to ask if my skin would tighten, he assured me it would. After all, what was the point of combining vaser AND J-plasma??
After 6 months, I went back to Turkiye for a follow up. When I met Dr. K, I expressed my disappointment with my results. Especially my breasts. He agreed that they didn't look even and he saw the folds of skin. He offered to revise them with implants. Again, I was adamant that I did NOT want implants. His insistence on implants made me realize that he didn't know how to do a breast lift without them. I wish he had just told me that he couldn't do a breast lift without implants at our first consultation. I would have left them alone. Another issue I had was the looseness of my skin overall. He acknowledged it but seemed indifferent and frankly, uninterested. Then I pointed out that my neck skin under my chin was also loose and I still had fibrosis even 6 months after, which resulted in lumpiness along the jawline. When I asked what the point of J-plasma was, again, he acknowledged my grievances but was very vague in his answers. I told him how frustrated I was that I paid that much money and went through all that pain and discomfort for mediocre results. He just nodded his head and offered up revisions. He said his assistant would contact me. I left there feeling so disappointed and depressed. And most of all, angry. It seemed that he wasn't too concerned. Why would he be? He got his money.
About a week went by and I heard nothing from his assistant (someone other than who I had originally corresponded with before my surgery). So, I reached out asking about my options. This new assistant had the audacity to tell me that the doctor said I had "very good results". What?! Then she said if I wanted a revision, he recommends implants. NO IMPLANTS!! How many times did I have to reiterate that I was against implants?! Now I was CERTAIN he didn't know how to do a breast lift without implants. Why the hell did he act so confident before the surgery??? Then I asked if he could just correct the breast lift to which she told me it would cost an additional $2250. And as for my loose skin, he wanted to charge an additional $2800 for another round of J-Plasma because my results were "very good" to begin with. In our follow-up, he said no such thing! In fact, he acknowledged my concerns. This baffled and infuriated me. $20,000 USD cash wasn't enough for him? I refuse to give him any more of my money! It should have been done correctly the first time! I have come to the conclusion that J-Plasma is just a money making gimmick. I could have spent LESS here in the states and gotten the same mediocre, subpar results. At least American doctors correct their mistakes free of charge. But the reason I went to him was because he had the experience with ethnic bodies. Even if I did agree to have a revision with him, he would have to make them even smaller to even them out. And I am absolutely against implants. After the last exchange with his assistant, I have lost all trust and faith in this doctor. The only reason I am giving one star is because of his staff, the hospital, and the nurses who helped me. But unfortunately, pleasantries and bedside manner aren't enough to change my outcome.
So now I'm stuck with these misshapen, square, uneven breasts that are giving me a really hard time finding a good fitting bra. I went from being a full D-cup to now having one breast a C and the other a B. The extra folds of skin between my breast and under my armpits have NOT flattened out as I was told and wearing a wire bra is very irritating. My breasts have a strange unnatural hang to them when I lift up my arms and to this day, there is tension where my incision was. And they do not look lifted at all. They are still as saggy as before my surgery just smaller. If I wanted breasts that looked like two deflated balloons, I didn't need surgery to achieve that. Even if I did have a revision, how can I restore their volume without implants? I would need more fat to augment them but all the fat was sucked out! I wish I had never touched them!
As for the rest of my body, I still have loose skin on my tummy, no definition, and he missed a few spots, particularly the pockets of fat on my hips. And I suddenly have a pooch on my lower abdomen that I never had before. As far as my upper arms, they look exactly the same as before, loose skin and all. My weight hasn't fluctuated at all nor has my diet changed. Why is this happening? What the hell was the point of having vaser lipo AND J-Plasma? "King of Vaser"? Really??
So now, here I am depressed, disappointed, and plagued with regret. The cost and pain was NOT worth the results I got. This has had the opposite effect of what I intended. I wanted to boost my confidence so I could meet someone to spend my life with. I wanted to start out 2023 feeling and looking my best. But now, I couldn't imagine ever letting anyone see me like this. I feel way too insecure to let anyone see my naked body. So dating and intimacy are completely out of the question. This whole ordeal was a hit to my self esteem and every time I see myself naked, I get so angry. I'm stuck with this body. This whole experience has left me traumatized and I don't trust anyone. It will probably be years before I can muster up the courage to endure another painful surgery and have the money for revisions. I feel trapped and lonely. This is so depressing.

Provider Review

Plastic Surgeon
Terrace Fulya Te?vikiye Mah. Hakk? Yeten Cad., Istanbul,
Overall rating