Waited All My Life - One of the Best Decisions I've Ever Made! Vancouver, BC

I am so sorry I didn't come update this sooner. The surgery was a success, and like so many others before me have said here, my new nose feels much more like me than my old nose ever did! At some point I will add some photos and a more thorough review, but I really liked my surgeon and he did a great job.

Hello again! I think I've recovered enough from my "vulnerability hangover" (love Brene Brown!) to continue. :)

Back in 2012, when I was pretty sure I wanted to go through with the surgery but wasn't quite ready yet, my biggest frustration - which I wanted to drop to my knees and wail at the moon at night in a mythologically wolflike fashion - was the question of: "Even if I had every penny and more in a special savings account, and no job or school to take time off from, and was totally ready for it, I still couldn't get the darn surgery because I CAN'T FIND ANYBODY GOOD ENOUGH TO GO WITH!" Late at night I'd go online, search the internet for hours (often in circles), think I'd found some potential candidates but loved the photos of very few, then run across horror stories, feel like I was going to have some kind of panic attack, and pass out in bed. Yeah…that was fun! I wish I could count on my fingers and toes how many times that happened … or mine and someone else's ... or mine and 2 someone else's….

So I made a list of 12 questions and started mailing it out to every doctor I could find in OR, WA, and CA, and the real standouts who were farther away. With the help of Real Self, I finally narrowed down that I wanted a double board-certified ENT (otolaryngologist) *and* FACIAL plastic surgeon (someone who thoroughly "nose" (I enjoy myself too much!) all the issues of the nose and not someone who's also doing breasts and liposuctions), someone who does multiple rhinoplasties a week and a large number each month, and one who's preferably been in practice 10 or more years. Having a bottom line and sending out those emails crossed a TON of doctors off the list. I still felt lost at times in a sea of sharks who wanted to take my money, destroy my face, and laugh like villains at the end of Disney movies, but like most things in life, some forward momentum helped.

Eventually, I kept hitting walls, finally realizing that I could only get so much info online without being seen by an actual surgeon in a real consult. Truthfully, I wanted to already know which doctor I was going with BEFORE the consult, but it wasn't going to happen that easily - and it also didn't work with my determination to not "just go" with the first doctor I consulted with. (It seemed those who had the best results shopped around, even if they eventually went back to the first doctor they met.)

So I scheduled 2 free consults with Dr. Michael Kim at OHSU in Portland, OR, and Dr. James Chan in Clackamas (in the greater Portland area), both double board-certified facial plastic and reconstructive surgeons and ENTs. I had to take a day off work (very unlike me) and drive an hour for the consults, so I worked with them to schedule both consults on the same day.

Questions, notepad, and anxiety in tow, I first met Dr. Kim. He was very nice, answered all my questions, and never rushed me. He was also quite handsome and sharply dressed. ;) One thing that struck me was his demeanor was quite laid-back, very relaxed and casual. Although this isn't a bad trait at ALL, it scared me a bit. After all, at the extreme end, I was looking at putting my life in his hands; on the more realistic end, he could potentially shape - for better or ridiculously worse - a projection IN THE CENTER OF MY FACE.

After the rest of my Qs were done, I asked to see photos. He said since he was fairly new to the office (a little over a year, I think?), he didn't have any ready for viewing. He'd moved from another state, and the photos from his time there were still at his former practice. I kept asking questions around it, as I've learned this sort of polite tenacity with a line of questioning usually yields me more info. :) Eventually, I asked outright: "And people still go with you?" He answered in the affirmative, so I followed up: "And that doesn't bother them? They don't need to see the photos?" He said that he did have a few on Real Self, but no, they were usually referred by their family doctors or a friend who had the surgery, and they were fine with it. Me: "Wow! I can't imagine!" (Lol.) Also, to his credit, he was (at least at the time) one of only 2 staff surgeons who performed the surgery at a well-reputed teaching hospital, and he was obviously well-qualified.

Dr. Kim told me that I don't have a high bridge, I have a low one, and he recommended a small graft in my radix (between my eyes). He said that it would make my tip look less projected by comparison. I was somewhat open (or trying to be), but I was fairly sure at the time that if it could be done and still look good, I only wanted the bottom part of my nose worked on. (I thought it would give me less chance of looking strange, and in some odd way, be justified as not a 'full' rhinoplasty if it was just the tip.)

Ultimately, I got into his personal office (very kind of him as he hadn't prepped it for company), and he hunted down a limited number of case photos for me. As we went over them, it emerged to his credit: He's a perfectionist! I liked the pictures I saw, but he could still list quite a few things he would do differently now. He looked almost pained about it, and as a fellow perfectionist, I recognized the feeling immediately!

Later, he followed up with a note from his personal email address offering well-wishes and direct assistance with any further questions, and he also sent photos of a couple additional cases as the after pics were taken. I liked him, and I think he seemed solid. My main concerns were that he had only been doing the surgery 6 years, and I just didn't see enough photos to gauge his style. (I followed up about a year later, and I was told he does have a picture collection on an iPad now, and I was welcome to come view it.)

Next I met Dr. Chan, whose office, while clean, couldn't compete Dr. Kim's, who had the luxury of being at OHSU. Dr. Chan recommended a large graft in my radix, noting that my tip wasn't actually that projected ("a little"), but the low bridge and depth of its origin made it seem much more pronounced. I liked Dr. Chan. He was honest about the surgery risks, and he even recommended other doctors who performed the procedure well. However, his assistant/office manager/whatever sat in on the appointment and butted in on each question. She was friendly and seemed goodhearted, but her job was obviously to SELL the doctor (Dr. Kim's medical assistant did that before he came in but didn't stay for the appointment). I ended up repeating each question she answered for him directly to the doctor and then ended up saying more forthrightly that I really just wanted to hear from him. It was still a while after that before she finally left to tend to another client, and I got about 10 min. alone with him, but it was so distracting that I couldn't really get a feel for him. He seemed decent - quiet - but before sales lady left, they too had issues pulling up pictures. He was able to pull a few, but they were having some kind of technical difficulties. They were supposed to email them, and I called the front desk twice to follow up (once the receptionist said she was sure she'd sent them), but I never received anything.

Wow, if you read that far, THANK YOU!!! :) I'll be getting to the doctor I went with and the actual surgery next time. I hope you're all well!

I've been putting off writing this for quite some time. Like most of the reviewers on here, I always hated my nose. I remember the first time I learned what a nose job was. In 2nd grade, one of my best friends, Stephanie (who also disliked her nose) told me about her older sister getting a nose job. 'You can do that?!' I thought. 'It's FIXABLE?!' I've wanted one ever since.

At that point, no one (that I can recall, anyway) had ever commented on my nose - but I'd noticed it. As the years went on, "friends," acquaintances, and all variety of jackasses felt the need to point it out or hint at it. As a teenager and in my early twenties, I was otherwise pretty (although you can't tell in the photos I posted!), fun, confident, outgoing, outspoken, the top of my class, clean-cut, very opinionated with a strong sense of right and wrong, always stood up for the underdogs and bullied, and generally cared very little what others thought of me. While my nose would have been equally large regardless of my personality, I do think these traits made me more of a target for others' hate. When you're not out for approval and tell people to their faces when they're out of line, you're going to rub a lot of jerks the wrong way. Although I also struggled with depression and anxiety, in public I was always very friendly and bubbly. This, too, seemed to rub people the wrong way - as though in some sick way, they'd think I didn't deserve to be happy because of my big nose. So they'd point it out or hint at it, as though somehow if I were aware, I'd know not to be that happy. Although I got along well with most people and was never bullied in the traditional sense, I would get the occasional rude comments like: "Have you ever considered plastic surgery?"; "Is there anything you'd like to change about your face?"; "You don't think your nose is too long?" I remember one guy I'd earlier called out for making racist and sexist comments asking if I thought I'd look better if I got a nose job, and I said that I wasn't going to spend thousands of dollars and risk my life going under general anesthesia over a nose. I'll never forget his reply: "You don't think it'd be worth it?!" %^@#$&!#&!!!!!

Which brings me to the next part of my review. While I have always WANTED rhinoplasty, I've struggled with the decision for many years. I would see horror stories online, didn't like the "after" pics of most surgeons I looked at, wasn't comfortable with the risks of going under general anesthesia (which most surgeons required), wasn't ready or emotionally prepared to handle it if it didn't turn out well, and I didn't have the financial means. Even more of a setback was my struggle with the ethics of it all. Even though I was vain in many ways, I didn't want to be. Even though I wasn't planning on telling people, what would it say about me that I'd gone to that extreme over my appearance? Ideally, shouldn't we all love and accept ourselves the way we are, flaws and all? What if something happened to me, and my family spent the rest of their lives grieving over their loss just so I could change my nose? How many people could I help with that money instead? Then, to take away many of my struggles but greatly add to this one, I became a Christian when I was 23. God gave me this nose, so who was I to go changing it? (I still don't feel great about this part.)

And so I struggled, and tried, and fought with all my might...but my nose still bothered me. After all the struggling, and finally being in a better place in life after a very dark period (unrelated to my nose) and an amazing counselor, I finally knew that I'd fought the good fight, and it would always bug me if I didn't change it. I didn't want it hanging over me anymore, depressing me every time I saw it in photos. It felt cumbersome, like an extra weight I'd finally had enough of carrying. I had peace in that, in knowing that even if the surgery or recovery went horribly wrong, I wouldn't have to wonder whether I would've been fine and have come to acceptance of my nose if I'd just waited a few years.

I feel a bit exhausted and overexposed just writing this much, so this will have to be continued (probably a good thing since my last attempt at a review deleted before posting!). Thanks for reading, and best wishes to everyone! :)