4th With a sicky stomach and dread in my heart I went by bus to the Breast Unit in the afternoon. Place was packed with standing room only. And docs were running 2 hours behind.
At my turn I had hardly sat down, all huge eyed and bracing myself......went Mr Lafi leant towards me with shiny eyes and a bright smile. Putting his hand on my arm he said....."there is are no problems with the scan results; there is a very small area on adrenal but not of great concern, we will arrange an MRI scan.
We consider a mastectomy with maybe some radiotherapy if needed later on.
I'd like you to have an ultrasound for your lymph nodes in armpit.
No mention of chemotherapy........ Yay yay yay????????????????????
Of I went for the ultrasound.,.was a bit shocked to be told I'd have to have a needle aspiration biopsy too. It was twingy but not really painful.....then radiologist said she'd have to do it again as she got blood in the first one.
Finally done I went back to waiting room.......consoled a girl of 26 who'd gone in after me. Waited and waited.
Was so relieved and happy over the news that I didn't have cancer in other organs.
Funny that the word cancer had never been mentioned up to this time in relation to my breast. But it seemed we all KNEW anyway.
Finally I was the last one there and went in to see Mr Lafi and was pleased to see my original nurse Tracey there too.
He had a look at my breast, trying to work out if the tumour was attached to the breast muscle. Confirmed that I wished to go ahead with the mastectomy and I asked if I could have a reconstruction right away. Bit sad that it would be a year before I could have that.
But knowing that I would eventually have a replacement boob helped me to take the mastectomy in my stride and be quite matter of fact about it.
I fairly skipped all the way home happy as Larry. Too impatient to wait for a bus, I walked the 3 miles. Stopped outside a bookmakers, and thought of how lucky and fortunate I am.......so went in and put £5 on a horse called Persuasive. My usual betting life consists of 50p on the Grand National (which happens to be not far from my home).
Back home I told my guy my good news over the scan and in most reasurring tones told him about the mastectomy. He was upset, but more for my sake than his own lust issues (he's a breast man........rollseyes.......pah men and their issues over women's bits).
Checked my horse bet and in won 16/1 so won £80!!!!
Did the update above and went for a break........had intended to carry on with the results update; but got a phone call from hospital to say MRI for adrenal is on Friday 13 November. So felt a bit deflated as I'd sort of forgotten about that.
I googled the surgeon who is part of the Breast Unit team who is likely to be doing the reconstruction and found The Sefton Suite is the private medical part of the same hospital........so looked into other surgeons and contacted one who does facelifts etc. Made an appointment for 14 December. Mr Carl Jones.
So in a way something good came out of something that could have been so much worse.......I'm not at death's door and I might get my facial surgery right on my doorstep.
I know the face stuff can't be done for a while but I can at least go talk about it and find out when it can be done.
The reconstruction surgeon is Lee Martin of Aintree University Hospital.... Google him........he seems to be a top notch surgeon.
BTW as I am in the UK all medical treatments are free, including breast reconstruction. It is government policy for suspected cancer cases to be given a referral by GP within 2 weeks. The NHS (National Health Service) do a wonderful service and I'm so grateful to those who work in it.)
Then did a thorough clean up of the living room and put the Christmas Tree and decs up as I won't be able to after the op. Provisional date for surgery is 16 December.
7th My guy had bought tickets for the races at Aintree today so even though I wanted a lazy day I went along. Really enjoyed it. Visited his mum, then back home to enjoy some music on YouTube.........indulging him in his 'hanging on to his youth' selection.......Sex Pistols, Madness, Jam et al, and listened to his oft repeated anecdotes of his days with his mates. Glad when he's exhausted himself with his youth stories........and went to bed. A 6foot 4inch middle aged man thinking he's still 16 and coming out with the type of irritating (to me) but highly amusing/ worth knowing (to him) teenage boy crap is sooooooooo wearying????
He's now asleep and I'm chilling in the living room in the glow of the tree lights, doing this update and feeling quite good. I don't feel at all I'll and I have a deeper appreciation for life and must admit am surprised at my own strength and ability to handle what has been happening. I haven't crumbled and given up.
It seems mother nature gives us the tools we need and it's up to us to utilise them.
I have my preop tests this Monday 9 Nov am then dentist at 4pm for hopefully final impression. Hoping I get final fitting before breast op, but that's probably unlikely. So it may be weeks before my teeth are done.
It is great to be able to keep a record of it all here, and the wonderful ladies are so supportive and kind to each other.......I feel blessed.