Okay, so having read so many stories I thought I...
Okay, so having read so many stories I thought I should share mine. I've always hated having a small chest and find I obsess about it every day. I've finally decided to do something about it. For me. Not for attracting men. I just want to look in proportion. My journey has started. Anxious but determined to do it. Better late than never.
I've had two consultations now and have booked my Op for 3rd November. At the first appointment I was adamant that I just wanted a bit of shape and didn't want to large. I was also really concerned that no-one should notice. My surgeon was very understanding but worried that I would be disappointed if I didn't have a decent size implant. We settled on 225cc which he said would give me a large B small C cup. I was happy with this. However, over the next couple of weeks I wore padding to that volume and despite it looking HUGE at first to me I soon found that I felt it wasn't enough. Although I didn't want people to stop and stare or comment I realised that no-one is as interested in the size of my boobs as I am and absolutely no-one gave me a second glance.
So I went back and had a further consultation. My surgeon was keen to increase the size as he thought I'd be disappointed with 225cc. I showed him some photos of my target proportions and he suggested 255cc. We decided on that and I booked the surgery.
However,..... I'm now thinking this might be too small. It's strange. I've been walking around with this size in now for a while and again, it's not really noticeable when I'm clothed and I think it may still look a bit small for my frame. My surgeon did say that this is normally the smallest size he would for someone of my size and frame.
So I'm going back next week. I think he's used to this but I do feel a bit silly not knowing what I want after having wanted it since I was about 16 (34yrs!!!). I'm realising that I don't know much about bra sizing and it's not realistic to ask for a bra size if I don't understand how that will look. I've also been buying and trying a range of bra styles and sizes and find that there is huge variability. So I have a stretch bra in a 34C and have been trying different volumes in it. I think somewhere between 300 and 350cc will be okay for my frame. I do think though that it's likely that people will notice (certainly my mum will) if I go to 350c. So I'm thinking 325cc. That way I can use a push up bra if I want to look a bit more shapely.
Well I'll see what he says. I'm going to ask him to tell me what he'd suggest if I hadn't given any guidance other than to give the right proportions. Then I'll see whether that's less or more than my current preference of 325cc.
Who knows where I'll be at by 3rd November. I really need to make a decision or at this rate I'll be getting porn star boobs!!!
Any 5'4" 130lb 40+yr ladies out there who have any advice?
Less is more...?
So. Went back last week and saw PS. He was happy for me to go larger but said 300cc was largest he'd recommend as my breast width is only 11.5cm. So we decided on 300cc high profile anatomical cohesive gel. I was hoping for 325cc but don't suppose 25cc makes much difference. I have to trust his judgement as he's been doing this far longer than me lol. However... Have just read that the rice test (which I'd been relying on for sizing) isn't very accurate and so I checked the volume of the 300g of rice and it's more like 350cc. So know I'm worried im going to be disappointed with 300cc. Oh Lordy. I wish it was over and I could think about something else. Will post some pre-op pics shortly. Anyone got any advice on how accurate the rice test was for you...?
okay, so I discovered that the online advice that 300g of rice is about 300cc in volume is wrong. It's actually more like 350cc. So in order to get the effect of 300cc with rice I've had to resize my rice stocking padders to about 250g. Surprisingly, although it's smaller I'm okay with it. I think this is closer to the original size I had wanted. I'd probably got caught up in the whole boob envy thing and just kept thinking I wanted more.
So my thinking now is that I'll use the 250g sizers as I think they're closer to the effect of 300cc anatomical textured silicone implants (over the muscle). At the very least I figure if I get used to this I shan't be disappointed. I've seen so many reviews where the outcome has been smaller than people have been expecting and that seems to be causing quite a bit of (understandable) disappointment. It's unlikely that the 300cc will look any smaller than this and of course if they look a bit bigger I'll be pleasantly surprised.
I'd rather do this than add another 50cc to compensate and then find that the implants do come out looking like 350cc padders (as that is just too big for me). As I've said my PS won't agree to 350cc anyways because of my ribcage and breast size.
I'm hoping this is a sensible strategy. I really don't want to go through all this and be disappointed. I'd like to have realistic expectations and avoid any emotional trauma after the op. I'm not sure if this will work but I figure if 300cc is the biggest I can take it isn't going to look small.
Anyway, it's getting close now. Just received all the paperwork and they're suggesting I have someone with me when I check in. I hadn't anticipated that and am quite happy arriving on my own as hubby is working. He'll visit later and will collect me the next day. Any thoughts from those of you who've done it....?
Well I'm hoping for something like this. These are 270cc and 310cc (allegedly) with similar frames to me so I'm hopeful. On the other hand they're both a fair bit younger than me so I'd best not expect miracles!!!
24hrs till I arrive in Boobie land!!
Okay, so surgery is tomorrow and I feel surprisingly calm. I really think that's down to having been able to hear about all your dilemmas and decisions and of course benefitting from all the fantastic information you've kindly shared. So thank you!!! I don't know that I'd have taken the leap without it all. My surgeon is very good (NHS breast specialist Consultant of 30 years) and comes highly recommended but I do struggle to engage with him and it's been great to be able to chat with other ladies. My husband tries but he just doesn't get it. He thinks I'm fine as I am and doesn't know why I'm putting myself through it. Having said that he's very supportive and I think secretly looking forward to the new arrivals!!!
Anyway, I'm all ready for tomorrow. We don't seem to have as much to do to prepare here in the UK as you guys in the States. I've just got to not eat or drink after 12.30 tonight and then turn up at 7.45am tomorrow. Fortunately, the hospital is about a 3 minute drive from me so I don't have to leave too early. Hubby is taking the day off to take me and hang around for when I come round. I will be staying in overnight. That was non-negotiable (by my PS - I'd rather go home).
There's been no mention of sleeping on my back but that doesn't bother me as I mostly sleep on my back anyway. Apparently my bandages don't come off for 4-5 days so I shan't be able to see the results for a bit - think that will be hard. I know I shan't be able to resist unwrapping and re-wrapping at some point. It will be like Christmas!!!
So that's it I think I'm ready. I have front opening PJs and clothes, a good book and my phone. I'll try to post an update when I come round but have no idea how I'll feel.
Am posting some photos so you can see me before. Very small - look like a 12 year old. Not for much longer though. God I hope I've chosen the right size. Am going to push for 345cc on the day (he has them on hand) but I know he'd rather do 300cc. We'll have to see what happens.
3 Nov 2014
Day of treatment
So went down about midday. It's now 3pm and back in my room sitting up having a light lunch. PS fitted 345s in the end so very pleased. Have had painkillers and feel fine. No pain at the moment. Have a compression dressing on but it's quite thin so I can see the general size. All a bit high at the moment but looks very similar if not larger than the effect I got with sizers although done of it may be swelling?? Anyway, all very quick and feel fine so pleased to report no regrets. Can't wait to see the results properly. Drains out tomorrow and then I go home. Dressings come off in 4-5 days. So pleased I went ahead. There were many days when I thought it was a ridiculous thing to do but I kept reminding myself how unhappy my small boobs made (made not make !!!) me and forced myself to do it. So pleased.
Pleased I went over muscle
3 Nov 2014
Day of treatment
Just thought i'dmention that I'm now less than 4 hours post surgery and have full range of motion. I can lift and reach normally and am moving in the bed using my arms as props. From what I've read elsewhere this is the advantage of going over the muscle. Will see how it is as the painkillers wear off but for now I'm amazed at the lack of discomfort. I just feel like I've done a really heavy gym session.
3 Nov 2014
Day of treatment
Morning ladies. Had my first night and woke with boobs for the first time. Still really happy I've done it and feel fine. I have a slight ache at the top of my left breast which really just feels like a deep bruise or pulled muscle which only hurts when I move. Other that I am completely pain free. I have had no painkillers since I woke in the recovery room 19hrs ago. I was scheduled for painkiller at midnight but opted not to have any as I felt it wasn't necessary. Very relieved and feel that while I obviously need to take things easy I can do most things without pain. I certAinly shan't lift anything heavy.
Have had prophylactic antibiotics and anti-inflammatory. PS will review me later this morning and give me recovery instructions and then a dear friend of mine will collect me for a few hours recovery as hers before going home when hubby returns from work. We'd planned this assuming I'd be in more pain but it's still probably best not to be home alone on the first day.
Anyway, breakfast has arrived so must go. All very positive and so much easier than all those months of agonising over size.
Will post some better photos once I'm home.
Discharged and home
So PS is happy and says 345cc was my max size so I'm happy I haven't gone too small. Drains are out and I still have dressings that come off Saturday. No showers till then - yuk!! Sports bra over dressing from day 4 and then for the next two weeks. After that general mon-wired bras will be ok. I don't have to sleep on my back - side is fine but def not on front. As for activities no gym or yoga or running but other than that listen to my body and don't do anything that hurts. They're alteady settling and look lower and wider. Am absolutely delighted. I am home and gave sneakily tried on a few 32C and 32D bras and think I'll def be a good C maybe a D. I love them, I love them!!! Not only that I feel absolutely fine. No more discomfort than a heavy gym/weights session. If anyone is getting nervous - don't. It's worth it !!!!!
First night at home
So I skept really well last night at home in my own bed. I'm a back sleeper with no pillows so it was fine. Woke this morning and no pain still. Get the odd tingle but nothing you'd call pain. Not sure what the morning boob thing is or when it kicks in but don't seem to have that yet. The slight swelling above the boobs seems to have gone. Think there's a little swelling left in the cleavage but other than that I can feel that the boobs are basically soft now and think they feel natural. Worst thing is not being able to shower. Will wash as best I can and should stay home till Saturday when dressings come off and I can Wash my hair. But I know I'll go stir crazy. May go out for a walk somewhere quiet to get some fresh air. Oh yeah... Weighed myself and I've put on 4lbs. Don't think that can be all silicone so must be careful during these recovery days not to pig out!! Anyway, for anyone just about to do it, go for it. Am so happy it's done.
First bra day
Okay so another good night and still no pain. Main problem is I can shower so hard to wash my hair but I want to get to the shops so am going to try and do it over the bath. Should be okay but must lean on boobs which I'd normally do if washing hair that way. Also today I have to start wearing sports bra over bandage/tape. Think it's going to be tight. May get larger sports bra while out. Can't wait till Saturday when tape comes off. Yeeha!!!
Ta-da!!!... the big reveal
So today is the day I've been waiting for. Bandages off and a shower at last. I was really anxious as I wasn't sure how they'd look in the flesh as it were. I knew that overall I was happy with the volume under clothes but wasn't sure how they'd look without a bra. Well I'm delirious. I think they're fab. They look substantial and I think they balance out the rest of my body (I'm pear shaped). Hubby was "impressed" too. He'd been strangely silent on the topic since the surgery and I was worried it was freaking him out a bit. He now tells me that he was getting a bit bored of talking about boobs and hadn't realised how much he'd like them. So we're all happy!!! I know they're not their final shape yet but I'm hoping they will just drop and fluff a bit. I don't think there's much swelling there (apart from between the boobs on the chest bone) so am hopeful that I'll keep most of this volume. So there's a bit of soreness from the dressings where I've been itching and of course the scars will take months to heal. Then they are of course very rounded at the top but from what I've seen elsewhere much of this volume will drop to below the nipple and round them out a bit. As for bra size I'd bought plenty of 32Cs before the surgery hoping that I'd achieve that size. I was also using them to test the rice sizers I'd made. Well so much for that, at the moment I can squeeze into a 32C but it does make me look a bit too titty-bar or olde englishe wench and at 50 that's not a good look!! So have had to go out and get some 32D sports bras. And of course while I was out I just happened to find a few 32D bras that were in the sale and which I just couldn't resist. I know I shouldn't be wearing them yet but I did just try them on and love the results. So, anyone out there who's 5'4" and about 130lb and currently a 32A, it looks like 345ccs will give you and 32D that doesn't look too large in clothes.
back to work...
first day back today. All went fine. I've had a 10 day break so was assuming I'd be fine but then last night I coughed and got a really sharp pain in my left boob. It seems okay now but was a bit of a shock as I hadn't had any pain till then. Anyway, no-one said anything and I may have had a couple of double takes but I might be paranoid. Main thing is my biggest fear when I started all this was that it would be obvious and people would notice. But they haven't. But at the same time I feel like I look so much better. I'm walking taller and feeling like a woman at last. Oh it's like a dream come true.
Well other than that not much to report. Don't think the girls have dropped much if at all so I shan't post any more photos. Will post some next monday regardless as that's my two week mark. It may be that they've dropped but I can't see it.
Anyway, keep the faith ladies. Happy healing to those on the boobie side of the journey. And for those of you about to embark on the journey or who are nearly ready to land boobie side, I can honestly say it's been completely worthwhile and a great tonic after years of hating what I'd been given naturally. Do your research, take your time and DO IT xxx
Two weeks post op... and all is well on the boobie front
Well it's actually two weeks tomorrow but I shan't get a chance to update tomorrow, so doing it today.
As per my previous updates I've been amazed by the overall absence of any pain. I've now had three brief episodes of a shooting pain in my left boob when I move my left arm across my chest. However, I notice that this has always been first thing in the morning so maybe that's my "morning boob" Not sure. Have read about it but never knew what it was. Anyway, as I say it's happened three times and although painful enough to pull me up short and take a few deep breaths, it's only lasted about ten seconds each time. I haven't had it in a few days now.
I was allowed to sleep without a sports bra for the first time last night which was great. I found they made me so hot in the night. Anyone else found their new boobs seem to heat up every now and then?
I think the right boob may be dropping slightly. It has slightly less volume above the nipple and seems to be sitting about a centimetre lower than the left boob. Also the right is getting softer while the left is firmer. I can't be sure but I do think the process is starting. I'm left handed so it would make sense as most other ladies report being right handed and finding the left drops first. Anyway I hope it's over soon as I'm really keen to get to the final version.
I met my best friend for the first time the other day since my op and she didn't notice. Or if she did she didn't think it was significant enough to comment and must have assume it was down to a bit of weight gain (I have put on a few pounds since the op as I can't exercise yet). So I'm pleased about that. She's had a year of relentless death and serious illness in her family and I really didn't want to talk about elective surgery for what are essentially cosmetic reasons. She would be kind and supportive but I'm sure it would grate a little. I figured if she noticed I'd be honest but that I wouldn't volunteer the info. She may notice next summer when I'm in tank tops and that would be better.
So, all in all everything is going well. I'm dying to get out of sports bras but will tow the line for another 2-3 weeks until i'm sure all is settled. Am going to be really sensible about exercise though and will start lower body work in a week or so and yoga in December but no running, weights or high impact work until nearer christmas just to be sure.
Have uploaded a few photos from today. Not sure if you can see any difference from the last ones but I do think there is a bit of dropping.
Happy to answer any questions.
Three weeks and back at the gym...
So it's three weeks tomorrow so I thought I'd update some photos. Am convinced they're dropping but it's slow and not sure it shows in the photos. They certainly look more wobbly and less rigid and I think some of the volume has shifted from the upper pole. They still look far too young for someone of 50 years so am hoping they'll keep dropping and fluffing.
Went back to the gym yesterday too and did some low impact lower body work. It felt great to be active again. I'm sure I could do it all as nothing hurts but am sticking with PS advice to be on the safe side.
4 weeks and counting
So four weeks tomorrow. They're definitely dropping now but not sure if you can see it in the photos. The right seems to be a bit lower and rounder and my preferred shape. Hope the left catches up soon. No other news. All still comfortable with no pain. Scars are healed and will hopefully fade over time. My caesarean scar is virtually invisible now but that was nearly 30 years ago so not sure if I can expect the same results for this. To be honest I don't really mind. No-one will see and I can only see them if I pull up the breast and look for them. I feel fine to wear underwired bras and really want to but PS said sports bras only for 6 weeks and then underwired only after 3 months. Seems at odds with what others have been told and am tempted to disobey. Want to wear nice bras!!! Anyone know what the risks are?
Don't think there's enough change or news now for me to update weekly so will just update once a month. Still so pleased I did it. Feel like a new me!!
Two months out and it just gets better
So, over the last month not much has changed but I do feel they have dropped and fluffed a little. I've found too that the 34Ds I'd been wearing got a bit uncomfortable and sometimes gave me some bulging over the top (only a little but noticeable in a t shirt). So I now find that a 34DD or 34E are far more comfortable. The 34E sounds ridiculous - I really don't look as big as I would expect for an E, but they are far more comfortable with wired bras as the wire sits close to my chest rather than pulling out and digging into my boobs.
Other than that, now news. It all feels like part of me and very natural. Husband is very pleased with the results and has admitted he was worried they'd look weird. But I can tell he's not faking it - every time he sees them there is a "reaction".
So it's all good. I thought I'd mention a few of the things I've really enjoyed and hadn't anticipated....
a) washing my hair in a shower the bubbles flow down between my boobs rather than straight down my flat front. I like that - it's sexy.
b) after the shower when I wrap up in a towel it stays up. It used to fall down after a minute or two but now the boobies help keep it in place
c) in pyjamas or a nightie I still have a figure. I used to hate being in nightwear as there was no padded bra to help me feel feminine. When friends stay over and walk around in pyjamas I used to get so jealous as I knew it was their natural shape. Now I'm the same.
d) being bra-less. I generally take my bra off when I get home now. Never, ever did that before as it just left me looking like a 12 year old. now I take it off and enjoy the freedom.
e) confidence, confidence, confidence. I feel better, which makes me walk taller. There's a lot to be said for walking tall - it gets you noticed. Definitely, get more attention from men now. It's subtle but it's there.
So that's it in a nutshell. No regrets and everything is really positive. This site is fantastic and it's because everyone shares honestly and supports one another. It's made this journey of mine a real pleasure. I hope my story will help others in turn.