Botox - Never Again Around Eyes

To be honest my bad experiences with botox around my eyes are so bad it's like a tv mini series and I really can't believe i've been so stupid and wasted so much money.I type this 7 months after my latest disaster with a festoon bulging under my right eye and pools of loose skin around my eyes which bunch up when I smile and one eye noticibly bigger than the other with more scleral show giving the attractive appearance of having a glass eye, and I'll be 31 at the end of the month and feel my life as a yummy mummy well and truely over !!This unfortunate turn of events has like so many others been combined with filler but I feel that if botox hadn't distorted my face I probably wouldn't have either 1, needed the filler or 2, the filler would have looked ok.I have had other disasters with botox in the past, been having it since the age of 24 but they have always resolved in around 3 months so just going to review the latest.Nov 2008 had filler across the top of my cheek bones loved the result, had it done cause I had lost a lot of weight, just finished a course of roaccutane so skin looked the best ever and felt so attractive, I photographed well and was so happy, had botox in the normal 3 areas in march 2009 and noticed in pictures that my cheeks had dropped slightly but due to the filler it still looked ok, the only concern I had was that you could kinda tell I'd had something done whereas before I looked natural.june 2009 had botox in 3 areas again and a top up of the filler across my cheeks, woke up 7 days after with a puffy half moon crescent under my right eye and when I smiled severe horizontal lines going from inner corner of my eye across top of my cheek. I thought I had perhaps over massaged the filler in my cheek and some of it had migrated under my eye, saw my rn who had done the injections, she was kind of puzzled as she said she hadn't put filler anywhere near the area that was swelled but she put more filler around the puffiness, a bit under the other eye (we are talking tear trough area now not cheek)to try and balance it out and extra botox in my crows feet area on my right eye to try get rid of the horizontal lines.Now at this stage I should have left well alone, I didnt look good but if you didnt look too closely my face ok, slightly assymetrical with a fullness under one eye that I didn't have under the other, but from a distance ok.However it was my sisters wedding 2 weeks from when this happened and my sister is stunning - like model stunning and I didnt want to look like a freak in the pictures so i made the stupid mistake of having it dissolved, my under eye bags that I never had before were revealed in all their glory and the dissolver made everything dissolve unevenly so even the night before the wedding I was having more hylase pumped into my face to try and get normal. The end result - flat cheeks and different shaped black bags under my eyes.Looking back now the bags werent too bad, it was the fact the were differnt shapes that freaked me out, one extended further around my eye than the other and I was frantically racking my brains and looking at old pictures to see if I had had these before I had the filler in my cheeks - I didn't then was thinking is it possible to radically age in 9 months ???So I made the worst decision I have ever made in my entire life, I after doing a lot of research made an appt to see one of the top occuloplastic surgeons in the uk who is also the supposedly top person for administering filler around the eye. His pictures are used by restylane as before and after tear trough filler results. I did this not with the intention of having more filler, due to the uneveness of the bags I could tellfiller would not look good, but to discuss what the hell had happened and could surgery fix it ?Was so looking forward to my appt, here was the man to fix all my problems, he was v expensive £180 just for the consultation but I had complete faith due to his reputation that he could get me back looking how I did before. I was wrong. In my appt I explained everything that had happened spoke about botox/filler, asked after reading on here could botox of caused it, no no no he said you have hollows under your eyes from cheek descent due to aging (im 30) and this is making the fat under your eyes more notciable. I told him I didnt have this 1 year ago, he told me it was what it was.I should have left but was so unhappy stupidly let him put 3 yes 3 syringes of PERLANE under my eyes and 50 units of botox in my face, left looking like an alien with the swelling, domestic abuse victim with bruising and praying that things look ok in 2 weeks time. It didnt. This cost me £1800 not including the consultation fee.As this settled down I was left with, A huge blue coloured malar bag going from the inner corner of my right eye extending in a circular fashion right the way around my eye and over the top of my cheek, a dropped down lower right eye lid, not so it turned inside out but to my eye looks a lot bigger than the other one, cheeks that when i smile moved independently of each other one pulling up sort of normally, the other moving to the side creating folds of skin on and around the malar bag. I was suicidal.After speaking to swollen eye on here went to see her occuloplastic surgeon who told me he was amazed that the person had done this to me - he knew him and his reputation and yes something had gone very wrong but to go back and see the person who had done this as he was sure he would want to put it right. so made another appt to see the person who had done this to me 4 weeks after the injections, wanted one sooner but he is very booked up, he said yes he had given me a malar bag but thought the blue colour was still bruising rather than have the tyndell effect and one way of looking better would be to have my cheeks filled to disguise everything, using sub q at £600 a syringe. And not to worry in time everything would even up.I cried after I left. Decided he was never touching my face again and went to see swollen eyes man. He said it would be a shame to dissolve the filler as I had spent so much money so he did my cheeks for £350, I now had all the original problems and now a really fat moon face !!!!None of these doctors seemed to realise that it was the botox causing all these problems, i had had a huge amount of botox in already very weakenened eye muscles that had in no way recovered from the june botox and now my eye muscles had prob dopped somewhere near my nostrils !!!To try and resolve this disaster I have bought a slendertone face for £300 around christmas, this has lifted my cheeks so they sort of lift the same but no effect on the eye muscles and spent a further £200 on getting filler dissolved under my eyes and on my cheek, this looks awful, but until the botox wears off (please god) I cant tell what is filler and what is dropped fat so am at the moment left with dents all over my cheeks and under my eyes. I am also having 3 caci plus facials a week at £50 a go, started this 3 weeks ago to try and speed up the botox wearing off.In my personal opinion once a doctor moves into the cosmetic field their ethics change, from owing a duty of care to their patients to seeing how much money they can exploit from the vain creature in front of them. I feel like a victim but the person I blame the most is myself.And sorry for the novel x