I'm booked in but feeling nervous and almost about...
I'm booked in but feeling nervous and almost about to cancel. I'm worried about being judged, and always feel bad that this is a self elected surgery. Then other days I think, so what just go for it. I have small boobs, breast fed and although they are quite pert still, I don't fill a bra properly, I just want something there that makes me feel good! But will I just cause myself loads of hassle in the future and regret it.
Found this site so good, basically I want a...
Found this site so good, basically I want a crystal ball to know that it all goes well, I love them and can get on with my life. I want a natural look, I've found a great PS but I can't get rid of the nagging doubt about whether I will regret it, if I will recover well. I'm a mum and I don't want to find that this very personal decision affects my family because something doesn't go to plan. Then other moments I think I want it so much, just stop thinking and get on with it!! I'm a b cup, smaller in one side, never fill a bra properly - always wear padded bras. I've been advised 270 cc silicone mp or Hp on one side and 300 - 330 mp or Hp on the other to correct asymmetry. The surgeon will decide over or under on the day.
Over the muscle and here's a bit more info on my asymmetry issue
Feeling a bit more postpone today, I have a vest top on and it annoys me how it gapes and doesn't sit right, how I need to adjust my padded bra all the time! How the right boob doesn't sit in it's cup properly!
So my wish is to have a full c/d cup - boobs I can dress up or down. Not the thing you notice about me but enough to give me a good shape.
I'm having round implants Nagor Impleo. Initially the ps will insert an inflator on the right to assess symmetry, I will have a MR270 on the left and then either 300MR or 330HR on right.
This is all based on the measurements he did and getting the right width implant to improve the symmetry. He is not sure whether he will go under or over. I do a lot of HIT workouts so there are some advantages to going over, he is very clear about my natural look, so I've trusted him to make the final decision. It's hard to find examples of over the muscle so love to hear from anyone!
Life with implants
Just wondering whether people think about/ are constantly aware of their breast implants. Do you notice they are there - as in something foreign in your body. I don't really know anyone who has had it done to ask. Just curious and still anxious!
So anyone with overs? esp in UK?
My PS said he will decide on the day:
Argument for overs is: Less trauma on the body, quicker recovery, boobs behave and move like boobs - I'm having textured silicone. I do lots of HiiT training and this will interfere less (won't get the pec muscle contracting when doing chest exercise) Only Willdo if the sizer doesn't show the implant as palpable!
Unders - lower risk of CC but I have no idea what the difference in risk is, more natural
If you have not much breast tissue, (I don't have a lot but over 1 inch on my right and excay an inch on left.)
I had never expected overs as an option but when he explained it, it made sense - he was a pains to emphasise that he does both and has no presence. The result is to get me a natural beautiful pair of breasts!
I'm just worried about the increased risk of cc if he goes over - what is that increased risk. I've noted I'm in the UK as I think more people have silicone here than saline than say in the USA, and perhaps the cc risk another fact you can feel them is based on the saline? A lot of the USA surgeons seem to steer to understand in almost all questions about over or under.
Also I've spokeem to my ps about breast cancer detection and you can have a mammogram with overs but my PS has recommended a specialist in the UK when the time comes and I start having them.
Love to hear from anyone who would like to share! X
Pre opp assessment today on Brexit day
Feeling totally gutted that Britain has opted to leave Europe, it is a strange day. Also my pre op assessment!
So felt sick arriving at the hospital, I hate them and they make me feel nervous but everyone was really nice. It felt strange actually going!
I was weighed and measured, swabs taken for MSRA and blood taken.
I'm 64 kilos or 9.9 stone, 70 cm or 27 inch waist, 160cm height, 98 cm hips.
Some leaflets given to me on anaethetic. It all felt a little detached as my consultant carries out his surgery at this hospital but they sort of provide the service in terms of medical care. It's local to me so I was dreading seeing someone I know as I'm not telling anyone about it.
I am so scared about panicking when it comes down to b day! The idea of anesthetic and that being it and I may never know scares me - my husband thinks I'm mad but I've never had surgery and it scares me!
She also spoke a little about pain management and the importance of taking medication ahead to manage it effectively, it just made me worry a little about the pain. I am assuming that in a few days i will just I will start to get back to normal! I have to I have two small kids and a job :/ so I don't want to be out of action for too long.
Feeling ok about it all. Just wondering if I should save the money and not be selfish and spend it, now we are leaving the EU : (
General Anaethetic - just scares me
Just read through all the GA info, it just makes me feel panicky. It's the whole idea of just giving in and loosing control. I never relax although I'm calm professionally I'm always worrying. I am dreading the whole getting ready to put the mask on and just freaking. Then I'm gone and who knows that's it. I just can't help thinking like that. I've never had a GA so I guess it's just the unknown but it's my biggest worry about the whole thing which I know is disproportionate to the risks!
Feel so emotional today two weeks to go
I'm annoying myself. I'm reading back my posts and I just feel sick today, I guess it's because after today 'I'm financially commites and would loose money if I canceled I want to do it and I want the end result but I'm looking at myself thinking will I wake up and freak about these things being in my body. Ugh off for a swim to clear my head!
On my mind constantly
Can't stop thinking about my op (next week) crying and confused. Work is horrible so I have not space to think and I keep beating myself up about not telling anyone apart from hubby, few guilt when I see my mum, but she just wouldn't understand and would talk me out of it. Can't tell my best friend as she has lots of problems, it's hardly important.
My husband is trying to help but I'm so negative!
Do I want this enough! I don't even know now. Yes I want the result I just keep focussing on the negative - I booked this six months ago! This time next week it will be the night before the op, I won't forgive myself if I freak out and cancel - 4K gone!
Sorry if you are reading this and you want to throttle me!!
I don't expect people to read this but it's a bit of therapy for me when I can't talk to anyone and I hope two weeks from now, I will laugh! Well that's if I go ahead! :/
Browsing for new bras!
Feel good today about it all - I am a bag of nerves but I am thinking about all the lovely underwear I can buy and treat my husband to! I never enjoy bra shopping the criteria is always what will make by boobs look bigger, padding and more padding!
It's been great reading about people's experience. I hope you all come to the right choices and enjoy your boobs rather you do this or not! X
Paid - no going back bye bye small boobs
Aghhhhhhhhhh, that is all : )
Excited today - not promising I won't write anothe scared update!
So feeling good today, just positive about changing something I hate. I don't think I'm going to not wake up, and I've done all I can to do the research and pick a good surgeon. Also made some post over changes in work as its been really stressful. Reading over the comments from all the lovely ladies who have taken time to comment has been immeasurably helpful! Thank you. I know I will be scared and I am anxious about my result but I think I can do this...I think ; )
Less than 48 hours to go
So I'm not feeling great, I am really feeling crap about not telling my mum, I saw her today and won't see her for a few days after, am I'm crazy to think she won't know. I'm 35 but it bothers me as I know she will be so upset and not undestand. She will think I'm risking my health. She hasn't seen me without a bra and though we are close we don't really discuss these sort of things. I want a natural result so I can wear normal bras, I hope that's what I get. There is so much variation on here with the implant sizes I have been recommended 270 cc and 300cc on the smaller one so I'm just feeling doubtful. Imagine if I come out likes porn star - my secret will be out!!!
Just feel like a fraud. I really want to get on, have them and nobody know but is it realistic? It's just the I know I guess
On the other side
14 Jul 2016
Day of treatment
It's done, all gone well pain about a 5. I'm so tired lots of delays and was done late pm. So will update soon. Zzzzzzz
Two days in...happy..,guilty...not to sore
Well I am so over having a GA now, it was fine!
I'm recovering ok, painful when I woke up but not terrible - like when your mil comes in. I've been so tired which is why I haven't posted and a bit weird about looking at them. I actually haven't much!
The day I went I was scary, emotional
seeing kids into school and having normal chats with the mums there. ' Oh what you doing today' urm I'll hang the washing out and then I will go and get new boobs' the usual!' Just felt like such a liar.
The hospital was fab, nice staff it's a normal private hospital doing all sorts of ops so I did wonder what they though of me, but they were really nice. Things were running around so had to wait about 4 hours, so I ordered a four course breakfast for the next day as I would miss the hot meal in the evening and just had the choice of soup. Saw the an anaesthetist who seemed normal and not like he was going to overdose me and kill me - which is the sort of mental thoughts I have! Then I told my husband I was going to run away and didn't want all this anymore. Just at that point my PS arrived and was all calm and talked me through it all and just made me feel ok. I went down about 3pm, drifted off and woke about 4. Had a quick peak and they didn't look huge so all good. Can't say I had that elated feeling and I feel guilty about all the fuss and the exudes I've made about not being able to make things this weekend.
Will post some pics soon, I don't like my post surgery shot and find it hard to look at at the moment - yep I'm Weird! I've been taking paracetamol and codeine, today I'm just on paracetamol.
I think I'm going to like them, just coming to terms with it!
Post op pic, too big hope they will be smaller
Here they are post op they are full, numb and I can't move them, look ok from
Side profile and glad my nipples have filled out as they were sagging. I've had 300cc and 270 cc round overs, I can't feel the implant -so that's good. I am cringing about posting this pic, they are too big for me to take in I think they look even bigger in this pic. At this point it felt like something was sitting on my chest and pain around my side of breast and incisions. Not awful pain though.
Recovering well, will they feel lighter in time
So had my op Thursday, it's Sunday today and had no pain relief, boobs feel heavy but not painful I hope they will feel a bit lighter soon? Will they?. Went out with the family in the sunshine, just wore my black exercise bra from MnS and a strappy sun dress, pleased cause you couldn't tell any difference from my horrible thick padded bra - that was how I wanted it. I'm really pleased with how they are settling. I still can't believe I did this, and I'm surprised how the recovery has been. I just hope it carries on this way.
4 days post, really getting to like them!
So four days in, been out and about soon usual mum stuff, no one has noticed. Pain is minimal, just aches a little. I really like the size and don't want them to go any smaller now! Getting my stitches out on Thursday and can't wait as it is sooooo hot. Does anyone know if it's OK to wear a really light support seamless bra, I have a cheapy from the supermarket and its so comfy but not much support. Is that ok?
Day 6 post op
Driving today, in fact rushing around like mad and feeling tired. Boobs feel ok, ache when I wake up and still quite numb underneath, starting to get some sensation back in nipples. It's been so hot, feel uncomfortable in sports bra. Tummy is really bloated still. I want to get back in the gym and start exercising but think it will be a while yet! Happy with how my boobs are settling, I think they are a nice shape, they look a bit awkward as its a selfie but really pleased seeing as its day 6. I put on one of my fav summer dresses and it fits still and looks the same as when I wore my padded bra so that's good! I wonder if the removal of the stitches will hurt, I've never had to have stitches taken out before x
2 weeks in!love them sometime not sure about them!
I'm two weeks post op, most of the time I love them, they are so full and look nice under clothes, then other times they feel huge and sore and a bit ugly! I don't like how they look in the pics, they appear larger but I'm adding them as I'm using this as a way of seeing progress.
I've been back to work, it's bit tiring but no one has noticed and I hope to keep it that way!
My boobs seem to be settling well, they are softer, my nipples have a tingly uncomfortable pain so I'm hoping that means I'm getting sensation back. The bottom of my boobs feel numb still. My incisions look super neat and I'm wearing tape over them for 6 weeks to help heal the scars and as directed by my PS.
I am wearing a high impact sports bra all the time, and fed up of it! But hey it could be worse. I am desperate to go the the gym but will give it another few days and might try the bike.
I like my boobs but not use to them on me, they are a bit bigger than I think is attractive for me, although sometimes they seem to be small. I guess time will tell. I'm not sure what size I am but I bought an mns seamless bra in 34 c today and it was really comfy, I didn't try the d on as it seemed huge - and I didn't want to admit that I might be! I am glad I did this though and my PS seems to have done a really good job, so far so good x
16 days post op
Just over two weeks, can really notice a difference in the last few days, they seem much more proportionate now and softening. I can get a really nice cleavage from them so I'm looking forward to buying some bras, at the moment I'm measuring a 32d. My nipples are really sensitive so I hope that settles. Feeling pleased and looking forward to working out!
My nipples are really sensitive, I'm just over two weeks - is this part of getting the sensation back, will it go? What's your experience ladies? Also my boobs were really aching in the cleavage bit today. I'm still wearing a sports bra. Just all a bit sore and made me change my mind about trying out a spinning class today!
Love the size!
I feel really good today, they are starting to feel like mine, still firm underneath and nipples sore, but they are starting to squish and settle and the asymmetry I had before the op has been pretty successful ( my right was smaller). At first my left still seemed bigger ( was always the bigger one) and then the right now, just this week seems just a tad bigger. My ps said this will all play out over the next few weeks and my right has more settling to do as this was the bigger implant. I can live with a little bit of asymmetry as it was quite bad before.
Will be nice to go gym as I have a right ole pudge on my tummy which I'm holding in!!
Sorry pic overload but where else to record progress?
I'm using this page to document my progress and help others too, I want the pics off my phone but I'm starting to worry you know the scenario where your friend looks at the pic you just taken and the there they are a pic of you new assets! Just wondering about whether this is sensible as its public isn't it! What do you ladies think? I'm not one for posting naked pics not even to my husband but then I never liked my boobs before!!
Bras... 4 weeks in what are you ladies wearing
I'm so fed up of my sports bra, it's hot and I just want to wear some of my summer dresses, do you think it's ok to go without for a few hours, or wear something lighter like a non wire bra. When did you first wear an underwire? I've been told at least 6 weeks post op to let the scar heal. When did you feel it was ok to go without at night? When do you think you've settled properly to make iworthwhile to get measured and buying up new bras - I can't wait to pick whatever I want instead of the one with most padding!! As always advice gratefully received xx
I can't believe this but I think I'm suffering from boob greed!!
Agh the ups and downs of bobbies! I'm four weeks in and my boobs feel Small, I can't reconcile it in my head as I wanted a pair of modest size boobs, I didn't want anyone to notice them and I just wanted to look like I had boobs. No one had noticed them - I fill out clothes when I use To be flat and rely on padding,. I think they look good shape wise. But today I just felt small. I think it's because they don't really ache now and I'm not aware of them it almost feels like they aren't there. I guess also the only person I can ask for an opinion is my husband or you ladies as I didn't tell anyone. I'm just wondering if I should have gone 350 ish for all the money and surgery. If I had i probably couldn't have gone over muscle which is what i wanted ideally. Maybe it's because of the sports bra and limited clothes I'm wearing to cover the sports bra means I don't feel much different. I don't know. I can't even believe I'm thinking bigger as I was freaking out 3 weeks ago that they were massive and ugly. maybe it's my tum and bum that's getting bigger daily when I'm not in the gym that's making them look small!! I just wanted two nicely formed boobs that could fill in a bra- I've got them so why am I feeling like this! What a brat! I don't know if I just thought so much about the unlikely scenario of not surviving the op that I didn't consider size enough, I got exactly what I asked for. Boob size is a funny thing as I wanted to be a full c/d however during pregnancy and breast feeding I went up to an f and it didn't feel that big! Maybe I need to go bra shopping! Did anyone feel like this? Talk about back and forth!
On holiday with boobs!
Hey, haven't been on here for a while as I have no wifi! But hope you are all doing well and just wanted to say it's amazing having boobs on holiday! I know if I hadn't gone ahead I would be feeling really crappy. And I love my size they are perfect, not in your face , not too small and I'm doing the old comparison game with my sunglasses on, and I think I compare pretty well with the boobs I think look good, yey!
7 weeks in, happy!
Thought I'd do an update as my boobs are really settling in and feeling like they have always been there, I'm happy with the size, not been measured yet but I think they will be a D cup. No aching, can sleep in my side, haven't been bra shopping apart from the one in the photo, which has no wiring or padding! Can't believe it, so comfy it's a revelation! I'm still working tape on my scars as advised for 3 months, they are red along the incision but very neat. My nipples have calmed down too. Almost forgetting I have them. No one has noticed, or asked me about them. I love the way they look in clothes and swimsuits, just what I wanted. I hope my review helps others as so many have said they were feeling all the emotions I did. I'm glad I just put it to one side and did it and so many of you ladies have helped, thank you!
New boobs are a 34 D started 34 a/b overs 270cc and 300cc
13 Sep 2016
2 months post
Got measured!! I'm a 34d in marks and spencer, which makes me so happy, I thought I wanted to be a c but a d isn't that much bigger and I thinks it's proportionate. Threw out all my old bras and bought some pretty ones, the underwire gives me a bit of omph but I like the way they look. I can dress them up or down! I never bothered with nice bras before, so exciting!! So nice to walk past the bras that promise a 2x increase! Think this will become a new obsession!! Also love wearing the non wired bras too, so light!
Reason to be happy!
16 Sep 2016
2 months post
No one has noticed at all that I've got new boobs!! What I wanted but I was just over thinking again and wondering was it worth it, so downloaded a photo montage app and cheered myself up! What a difference, my boobs were so sad, now they are full.
I went on a girls night out and none of my mates noticed, they all commented on my figure saying I looked great, have I been to the gym? Ha I'm a half stone heavier from lack of gym attendance!No one asked me so I didn't say, I don't feel bad as I just don't want the attention and one of my friend is having a hard time financially - I just don't want to sound artificial and self indulgent. The only person who knows I've had this is my husband and a new friend that told me all about hers.
Anyway hope you are all doing well whether you are recovering, an experienced BA'er or still thinking and waiting! You've all helped me so much, I'm happy!
Aches and almost four months later....
Hope you are all well.
I've returned to the gym and my usual routine of HIIT and resistance training about 4x a week. All going well, I wear two sports bras though just to give extra support!!
Just wanted to write about aches and pains, my boobs are still a bit achy - like they do when you are about to start a period. Mainly under the nipple and in the cleavage bit. It's usually at night when I've taken my bra off, I notice it. It feels more comfortable to wear a crop top at night. Nipples are a bit sore too. How about you ladies?
I had a bit of a funny few days, guilt settling in about surgery, we've had some sad news about a family friend and it made me think that health is everything, so I've been thinking what was the point- I knew I would have this feeling. I'm fine again now, but it's just one of my issues!!
Take care xx
Fear no 1 - feeling fake
Thought I'd start making a list of some of my fears and how I feel about them now I'm three months in.
I was really worried about regretting this op and having a freak out that something fake was in my body, that it will feel alien and I would regret the whole thing.
I have had this feeling - I won't lie! I think it's so easy to foucs on an issue and get obsessed. Perhaps I was guilty of that before when I had my small boobs. But overall I feel really happy with my result. Keeping pics as a way of charting progress is really key, as well as noting down your feelings.
My boobs make me feel great, i still wear the same old clothes, today a big old jumper I've had for years but you can see my shape underneath and it just makes me feel good.
They still feel sore and a bit heavy at nighttime, not in a stuck on way but in all sort of premenstural way. I am hoping this settles as I would like to go bra less at night.
I also think my boobs are still changing, they seem fuller - I def wouldn't want to go bigger (see my post on boob greed).
I've posted the attached pic as it was one that made me happy, perhaps they look a bit fake here you can see with my arm pulled back the roundness , but I like them!
Fear #2 GA
12 Nov 2016
4 months post
Haven't posted for a while but thought I would do some reflections as lots of you have said you felt the same emotions I've tried to explain in my post
Ok well this fear was about the GA. I researched for ages the option of being awake and surgeons who would do the procedure under local and sedation - aghhh. I have never been in hospital apart from having my children, fortunate not to have to have an operation and so I had no experiance of GA. I don't like the idea of being out of control, the idea of falling asleep and then that's it I might not wake again really made me feel sick.
Because I had such guilt about having an op for 'vanity' in my head tkarma would be our to get me and I would never wake up and everyone would think I was a bitch and my kids lost a mum who was just in pursuit of boobs. It feels a bit crazy writing that down but those were the thoughts I was having. So ten years it took me to think about it, wish about it and eventually make an appointment with a ps - which I cancelled and then it took another two years again!
Once I had my appointment I knew I was actually serious about the surgery and was excited. It still scared me and I nearly didn't do it, even on the morning of the op I nearly ran out the door. Comments on here helped and trying to put perspective on the risk also helped. Visiting the hospital helped too. On the day the Anethetist was friendly and calming, matter of fact but that helped me to relax and put my self in their hands.
When I got on the bed to go down I kind of zoned out, I wasn't scared it was strange. I had the needle inserted into my hand and then asked to breath into the mask. I don't remember feeling whoosie or strange. When I came round it felt like I had a snooze, I didn't really feel like I had lost time. There wasn't a lot of pain but was given some liquid morphine when I woke. Now I'm over my fear of GA it really was fine.
Strapless dress for Xmas girls night out! Goals!!
12 Dec 2016
5 months post
Looking forward to Christmas and have bought a lovely dress in the sale that I would have normally left on the rail as it wouldn't have fitted me properly! Sometimes I feel a bit weird that I've stated a blog on here, but I got so much out of finding out about other people's experiences that I'm pleased to help.
Do you know what, it's so easy to forget how scared I was - the fear of GA was the biggest reason I put this off for so long!
I had really irrational fears like, because it doing something so vain fate will deal me a blow and I won't wake up and then everyone will know I was that selfish Mum who put boobs before kids!
So you have to put things in context, if you are healthy, picked a reputable hospital/ surgeon you will be fine!!
I had never had GA before so even the idea of being in a hospital dressing gown with bleeps and equipment around me, scared me.
I found small steps like telling the surgeon about my fear helped, then visiting the hospital few weeks before calmed me down. Then meeting the anesthetist and seeing he was calm and capable also reassured me!
I was surprisingly calm on the day, for me it was like a sniff a sweet smell, didn't feel panicked about falling asleep, it was pretty quick I think, I have no memory of the op, when I woke I knew where I was and I did feel like time had passed. I really won't be scared if it again.
Honestly if you are reading this because doing something you want scares you then just try and focus on the positives,you will be fine! But easier for me to say as I was scared!!
Good luck - it's so lovely having boobs they are part of me now and it really isn't a big deal - and I can't believe I'm saying that now!!
I forgot to write about this - sizers and assymetry
15 Dec 2016
5 months post
I forgot about writing about this, but a comment from a lovely lady has just reminded me. I had minor assymetry - although it was a pain as I never fitted an A or B cup properly!
To correct this I had a larger implant in one side. Now the issue arises that where you are not much breast tissue going too big will potentially mean you feel the implant more. So you need a really good surgeon who looks at your anatomy, measurement triangle and then can assess what will suit you best, including placement. My surgeon made some recommendations but he asked me to allow him to choose between two sizes on the day of surgery. To make the choice he used sizers whilst in surgey to choose volume and height. He also decided on placement over he muscle as he felt my tissue provided enough coverage. My largest boob was always going to be 270 MP cc and the smaller one was either 300, or 330 cc and if it was 330 it was also going to be HP, this is all to do with the volume of the particular implants and matching up the projection and size of my naturally bigger one.
So my point is make sure you feel you are getting a tailor fit consultation, as I'm so happy with my results and they are symmetrical!
Article link about getting it right for your body
6 months post, 270 cc lefty 300cc righty over muscle
I've just had my last check up with my PS, so all good, soft implants, good shape, good recovery and scars disappearing nicely. I'm really happy, I haven't been able to admit to anyone I've had surgery, maybe people have notice a change but they haven't said. I don't think you can tell. I haven't really had a proper summer with them yet, so I'm looking forward to wearing summer dresses and more choices with swimwear.
I'm back to he gym and doing all exercises and pushing myself hard, by boobs feel part of me and aren't restricting me at all. I wish I didn't have to achieve this look via implants but the confidence and the fact I don't have to keep thinking what if, is really satisfying. I hope I carry on having a positive healthy experience and I wish you all health and happiness on whatever you decide to do. Hope my review had been helpful and thanks for your feedback, experiences and support xx