Quest for body Shangri La - Toronto, ON

I have my first consultation scheduled with Dr....

I have my first consultation scheduled with Dr. Kunaal Jindal on March 17 and I'm a mixed bag of excitement and nerves...but mostly pure excitement.

I've been relatively slim all of my life and I have what I would describe as a "boyish" figure. While I am not completely without breasts they are relatively flat with most of the weight being at the bottom. I find it hard to fill bras and I'm left with a gap up top, it becomes extremely evident when I am lying down either on my side or on my back! I've never been professionally fitted for a bra so I'm not entirely sure of my size but I've been buying B32 bras for a while and they seem to work.

I think the hardest part in my journey for me at this point has been finding inspiration photos. I've always thought about breast augmentation but I've never really looked into specific things like size, shape, texture and profile. I know the doctor will help me out somewhat but I want to be as prepared as I can be for the consultation.

xox
Filly

Wish Boobs

I dedicated an entire weekend in pursuit of some great reference images to bring with me to my consultation. I'm now just shy of a week away and I am bubbling with excitement. I'm still having a hard time with profile and deciding if I want to stick with moderate/moderate + or go for high profile. I've been looking at what I think will be my outcome with both types. I'm going to try the rice sizers this week even though some people say it's complete hogwash. I'm doing it more so to see what I could get used to in terms of size. I've also started wearing my ultra padded bras exclusively and limiting my cleavage exposure so that no one will bat an eye when I become that size in real life! I haven't thought about preferred dates but I'm sure that will be swayed heavily by the doctor's availability and how the financing options work out.

No longer having surgery performed by Dr. Jindal

I had a consultation over the summer and despite the fact that I felt that Dr. Jindal was a knowledgeable and skilled PS, the chemistry wasn't there and I didn't feel comfortable booking.

I actually took some time away to reflect on what I wanted out of the augmentation process and that included the overall experience from consult to post-op.

Pre-Op

Size
To be honest, I have never been professionally measured and I've chosen to go with B34 cup predominantly throughout my adult bra wearing life. I am pretty sure in the past 6 months I could have downsized to an A cup.

Shape
They lack a lot of volume on the top, fuller on the bottom. I knew I had a little asymmetry with my nipples and actual breasts but at my consultation it was also pointed out that I had minor asymmetry with my breast folds with my left breast hanging slightly lower than my right. I didn't notice until my PS drew a line for me to see.

Rice Sizers

During my original consult the biggest I tried was high profile 450cc, silicone cohesive gel and the smallest was moderate profile 335cc. I went home and made rice sizers for 450cc and 365cc.

During my last consult with my current PS the biggest I tried was 435cc high profile silicone cohesive gel and the smallest was 345cc high profile. Shockingly, I found the 435 to be too big even though I loved the 450cc before. We settled on 380cc.

With my official pre-op appointment tomorrow I naturally started to panick (midly) about size. I'm worried about not going big enough. I made rice sizers for 380cc but I was disappointed in the side profile. I think when you come from having a flat chest, the side profile is the first thing you hope will impress you. Since I am the type to find things hard to let go, I will ask to try a larger size maybe 415cc just to make sure I can say with confidence whether or not going bigger is the move. I have no one to attend my pre-op with so I will be relying solely on myself.

Pre-Op: Skin Prep

I do intend on asking my PS, and I know I'm cutting it close with less than a month to go but does anyone have any suggestions on how to improve the elasticity in the skin? I suffer from stretchmarks on my butt and I would like to avoid ones on my chest since I don't feel I already have them there.

I've heard lots of people suggest this raw cocoa butter so I picked one up over the weekend. It was fairly inexpensive. I've also heard of BioSil, I used to take it for my hair and nails over a year ago but I heard that it boosts collagen production. I haven't taken any supplements because with such a short time to go I want to clear it with my PS first.

I'm open to any recommendations.

Boobie Inspo

My PS suggested I look for inspo to bring into my pre-op appointment but only topless photos which proved to be more difficult than I thought. I looked at tons of before and afters and tried to find some augmented girls with 380cc silicone gel but I still struggled. In the end I think I did ok. I convinced myself that more isn't necessarily better.

Tomorrow is The Day

This is the last night I will look like the "old me".
I only became really nervous a few hours ago. I think that I spent so much time thinking about how I will feel about my implants; will they look the way I want, feel the way I want, will they heal well and how quickly can I return to work, return to the gym and start wearing fancy bras, lingerie, a bikini. I thought about my scars, the bruising, the pain, the drugs and I even went as far as to think about how many pillows I should buy, whether to wash my hair today or tomorrow and what I should wear to surgery but I neglected the surgery itself. I have never had major surgery before, anything can happen and just now I'm getting a little scared.

My surgery is first thing in the morning so I don't have long to be anxious about anything tomorrow after I wake up and I'm going to try to get a good night's sleep. My sister is taking the day off to be with me tomorrow so I look forward to seeing a familiar face when I wake up. The day really came up quickly and I'm looking forward to this part of my journey. I trust my surgeon and that's the only thing keeping me from really going crazy and letting my fear get the best of me. I can't believe that I'm so close!

Goodbye flat chest!

The Day I Have Been Waiting For

It's finally here, I'm bubbling with excitement.
All the planning, the saving has all been for this day and it's finally here and I'm ready to go!

See you on the other side :)

Feeling Good

I believe I went in for surgery a little after 8 and when I was up and had my first dose of pain killers my sister said it was around 11:30. Upon waking up I had the chills and I remember my teeth chattering and my body shivering for a little bit. My chest hurt, not so much that heavy feeling a lot of people described, it felt like the equivalent to when you get a muscle contraction; tight and painful the more you move. I asked for the pain killer then. They put on my bra while I was in the recovery room, I think it's a little small but that could just be me. My left breast is also a bit firmer and in more pain than my right but I've been assured by my sister that they look the same. My surgeon said it's normal for breasts not to heal exactly the same on both sides but if one becomes significantly enlarged, red or painful then I should be concerned.

The car ride home was not bad at all but I did feel nauseous halfway through. We got in a little after 1 and I slept until a little after 3. I had toast, tried to have some tea but I felt really sick (I'm sure it was the milk in my tea that caused it) so I had some ginger ale instead. I kind of dozed off again around 4 for about an hour. I felt nauseous all evening, the chew-able Gravol I got did not help me at all. I also had cottonmouth from the time I woke up after surgery even to today although not as bad as yesterday. I had lots of water and lots of ginger ale. I was able to eat dinner which was a small bowl of spaghetti with meat sauce and although I felt nauseous I never threw up. Despite all the fluids I drank I didn't have to pee that much which was surprising. I started antibiotics and the stool softener but I delayed taking pain medication until around midnight. I only iced twice yesterday and I iced once already this morning. I took my pain medication this morning since my surgeon called me yesterday and told me to start following the pain medication suggestions on the bottle for at least the first two days.

I get to take a shower today, I don't feel icky at all which is really good. I used Kirkland cleansing towelletes on my face yesterday and some unscented baby wipes. I used a baby wipe to remove some of the marker drawings from my chest but I didn't overdo it. Whatever would come off, came off and I didn't try to scrub or anything. I'll wait until later today to shower so I can have my mom help me with putting my bra back on. I'm just resting in bed for now, keeping up with my fluids and I had some toast for breakfast. Prior to surgery I made some chicken broth so I will try drinking some of that today and I'm hoping it will help to curb any nausea. I also got some Gravel liquigel capsules so I am going to try those today and see if they work better than the chew-able tablets I have now. I want to take some photos before I put my bra back on today after my shower just to track my progress. I plan to wear my surgical bra for as long and the surgeon says I should. I don't want to compromise my recovery.

Day 2 + 3 Post-Op

The pain has been pretty manageable but the nausea has been a beast. Yesterday was bad but today was definitely worse. I've thrown up at almost every meal today despite being prescribed an anti-nausea medication today. I'm a pretty tough cookie but nausea is definitely my kryptonite. Today I feel a lot of tightness over yesterday's soreness. I've been icing more often today and I don't know if anyone else experienced this or not but it feels like my boob is still really cold even after I've already removed the ice pack. It doesn't feel cold to the touch though, maybe I'm just wigging out. Speaking of touch, my right nipple is still numb however I started feeling some tingling on the breast which is better than yesterday. My left feels tight and slightly sore towards my cleavage. I feel like my post-surgical bra is a little on the small side I woke up with indentations along the top and sides of my breasts. I figured this was due to swelling but if it persists tomorrow I'm going to ask my surgeon whether or not he would advise I buy a bra one size up. My incisions are pretty bandaged up so although the bra is tight on them I'm not worried that damage is being done. I made sure to take some photos but I do apologize for the giant "censored" banner that runs across them. I figured that you could still see the result and I could maintain my privacy. I'll try to find a better way to take and present the photos in future.

Happy recovery to all the recently enhanced girls...hopefully nausea isn't kicking your butt like it is mine right now.

3 Wks Post-Op

Happy New Year everyone!
I thought I did a 1 wk post-op update but I guess I didn’t. I’m trying to make my posts more concise so I’ll run down some points for each week:
1wk
- I got a new bra, a beige one. It’s more comfortable, still extremely ugly.
- I had my post-surgical tape over my incisions removed and replaced temporarily with steri-strips
- My new instructions were to wash my incision sites with mild soap and water, pat dry and tape with medical tape. Replace tape as it starts to detach from skin
- Not cleared to drink any alcohol over the Christmas holidays
- A lot of the soreness has subsided, I had numb boobs and nipples and my back was on fire
- I was cleared to use a heating pad on my back and it made a HUGE difference
2 wk
- ITCHY. I itched myself red and sore for two days straight despite using lotion. I started putting gauze in between my incision site and the medical tape since I noticed a little redness occurring where I had the medical tape touch my skin, I also switched to the tape for sensitive skin which is supposed to be less tack.
- Numbness in breasts is turning to a tingly feeling
- Still hating sleeping on my back
- Occasional breast tightness and tenderness
3 wk
- Post-op visit: had stitches removed. NOT FUN.
- My new instructions were to continue to wash incision sites with mild soap and water, pat dry and apply a thin film of Polysporin, let stand for a few minutes and then apply medical tape. Do this for the next two weeks.
- I got cleared to buy a new…sports bra
- At 5 wks post-op my PS is going to have me start using a scar gel
- I really detest sleeping on my back
- I desperately want to work out at the gym and start taking my supplements again but I haven’t been cleared yet for either
- The tingling and tenderness in my breasts is improving daily but my incision sites are still a little bothersome since the band of the post-op bra rests on it all day
I went to my pharmacy to pick up the Polysporin and I found Scarguard there so I picked up a box since I know it is really popular with a lot of post-op users online. I’m going to ask my PS about it, I figured that even if he says no I have some older scars I would love to test this out on since it says it works for older and newer scars. Could be worth a shot.

Happy healing everyone!

5 Wks Post-Op

I made it over the 1 month hump finally. Boobs are beginning to settle, I feel one is still bigger than the other but I'm not sweating it too much as I have developed new worries about my scar. Due to popularity I opted to go with Scarguard for my scar treatment...I feel like it only made my scars worse. Note to anyone interested it should only be used on RAISED scars. Since my surgeon is stellar I didn't have raised scars besides the very ends where the knot for the stitching was. My incision sites now look red and like the scar has widened. I'm hoping that the scar remedy my surgeon has for me this Saturday will fix it so I don't have to have any scar revision work done. I'm kicking my own ass right now for not sticking to the Polysporin and tape regimen I was on prior to discovering this "miracle product". All is not lost though, I have some other raised scars that are responding well to Scarguard. With that being said, I will most likely not repurchase. Its pretty expensive, much too rick for my blood!

I cannot wait to lie on my back and I cannot wait to go to the gym. I hit the 6 week mark next week Thursday and I am counting down the days! The girls are pretty firm but I dont have the same feelings of tightness anymore and no soreness either.

5 Wks Photos

Some photos in my 5th week...

Incision scar progression (or regression)...

*Sigh*

I've stopped using the Scarguard gel yesterday and I've gone back to the Polysporin and tape regimen I was using previously. I should have stuck with that honestly. The gel peeled off on me so many times and apparently you can shower with it on and it will stay on...right. I feel like they look worse, I'm not happy about that. It could not be entirely the gel's fault as I haven't been feeling any pain I've been putting my range of motion to some good use so I could have also overdone it a bit. My surgeon has a scar remedy he gives to all of his patients so I'm hoping that he says this is part of the healing process and he can make them start to disappear. I do not want a revision on my scars. No more procedures :(
Toronto Plastic Surgeon

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