Age 50 - So Happy To Explant! TX

I know it has been a long time since I've updated! Here is my post explant 2 year update.
OK, first, the pics. As you can see my breasts have shrunk a lot more since month 4. They are very tight and tiny now, almost the same as before I got implants. My right boob is bigger and the left (the smaller one) has a cleavage fold and sweep under it from tissue removal. My nipples still get inverted, I tug on them when I want them perky. (frankly I don't want to walk around with nipples showing, so I don't care about the inverted part. My nipples have sensation and work when they need to. :)
I have a 32a worth of breast tissue and a 32d worth of fleshy empty skin. It is weird to fit a bra because I still need something wide even though I don't have anything to put in the bra. So I tend to wear stretchy non underwire in a C cup. In an underwire I need a stretchy half cup in a D cup. Weird right.
I did NOT have a lift. My scars are almost undetectable. When I lay on my back or lift my arms over my head my breasts are almost completely flat. These girls are tiny! Super tiny. For those women worrying about their size afterwards...here you go, I am almost completely flat chested, just like before I had implants. And you know what? I love my tiny girls! They are cute and pretty and sweet and lovely. They don't get in my way, they don't need any special cables or pullyes to hold them up or torture bras to dig into my shoulders. They sit cute, are lightweight and let me do whatever I want. (except skydiving because I am afraid of heights) ;D
OK, so now on to the breast implant illness part:
THAT took a long time to clear. It has been 2 years of diet change, supplements, and time to get to feeling more like myself. It has been a very very long haul. Some of my issues cleared up as soon as I removed the implants, the neck problems and breathing problems. But some of the other stuff... it lingered for a long time. I really had to put a lot of effort into getting well again. I am not going to post everything I did because everyone's experience with breast implant illness is different. But if you really are ill, expect that some of your issues will take a lot longer to resolve. It is the cost of doing business with having toxic things in your body for a long time.
I do NOT miss my implants. I feel free. My tiny little ladies are so sweet and lovely. I feel sexy. I feel youthful, I feel sporty. I never worry about how other people perceive my boob size. I wear tank tops that show off my flat chest with pride. I don't care what other people think about any of my body parts. The only person's opinion that matters is mine and I love my tiny healthy girls. I also love not having to worry about undergoing yet another surgery or implant replacement. That doesn't loom over my head anymore!
Do I miss having size? No.
I do not even think about the size of my breasts or wish they were bigger. Struggling with such poor health for so many years really put things into perspective for me. The real cost of vanity for me wasn't even remotely worth the illness I suffered. All that misery, all those surgeries for just boobs? It seems so absurd to me now.
I know some of you gals worry about how small you will be when you remove your implants. Well, I am very very small, very tiny, flat chested with one tiny boob smaller then the other tiny boob. Is being small your concern? Or being healthy? Does the size of your breasts dictate to you your worth or sexiness? Should it?
Embrace "you".
Love yourself, allow yourself to be perfect the way you are, scars and all, with imperfections, with health being your goal. See yourself from the inside first. That is the part that matters. Then see yourself as the warrior you have become, the woman who grew to accept herself and love herself as she was meant to be. Health equals happiness because big boobs and bad health gives you absolutely nothing but misery.
So many of you have been asking me to update my pics so I finally got around to doing it. I don't expect they will "fluff" at this point. LOL. :D ...which, btw, you shouldn't expect either. Explanting isn't the same as implanting. You are not waiting for anything to drop or fluff, if anything, you are waiting to see if you get more skin contraction over time to see if you need a lift. That's it. You won't grow new breasts, fluff or puff. My breasts shrunk considerably since post explant month 4. I was actually surprised at how tight the skin got, especially after having huge implants for so long.
Everybody's body is different so you may or may not get the same results as someone else. There is no way to know how your breasts will look post explant based on how other gals look. Everyone's breasts, skin, shape etc is different. So my goal has mostly been to share my journey with self acceptance, to feel comfy in my own skin, as tiny as I am and to embrace the woman I am, the years of life that has allowed me to grow and the lessons in life that has brought me to this place I am in now.
Introspectively, I know I feel whole now. I know, that despite the scars and imperfections, I feel exactly right. The implants didn't do that, not having them did. I know that my health and the struggles I have faced with such horrible health problems has shifted my perspective profoundly. Good health cannot be purchased, it cannot be implanted, it cannot be given to you... and if it has been taken away, the rest of your entire life is horrible, even if your breasts are big. The implants did nothing for me except lead me on a journey to find myself, underneath it all...
I have arrived.
:)

Thought I would update how the last couple months of healing has been for me. I am around 4 months post op now and in the last few weeks have noticed the upper pole area of my chest gets pinchy and stabby.
Sometimes it also feels sore under my arm/ribcage area from wearing an underwire and from that tender skin getting all squished. I think too, since I can sleep on my sides wayyyyy longer now without the implants in the way, I am sometimes waking up sore. It is sorta like when you first get implants and you wake up with "morning boob" (gals who have had implants will relate!) except this is pain that is caused by something not being there. So what do I call that "Morning Un-boob"? :D
The areas where my chest skin was stretched furthest away from my chest wall; the cleavage area and the upper pole and the sides of my ribs under my armpits where my breasts "used" to spread out into. Those areas, now not being pulled and stretched from my giant implants, now feel like they are floating. I can feel the skin not being tight in those areas and sorta not adhered.. and that is where I feel the stabby and pinchy stuff.
I feel weird without a bra or sport top of some sort on, I don't really like the feeling of letting my tiny girls fly in the wind yet. I like a tiny bit of wind flying, but the girls still feel a bit too wooshy to have them unattended in a strong breeze for too long. ;-)
So, finding some great bras with great support has been my thing. I have learned a tremendous amount about breast size, spread and shape since I have "wide root shallow breasts with a broad base" Which basically means I have small breast with very little projection that sit far apart and spread out towards the armpit and most of my breast tissue is at the base of my boob area. Which is what makes makes it so I need a D cup underwire size but a shallow cup on it (like a half shelf cup) type of cup.
I'll tell you, understanding the actual type of breast shape and size you have makes a world of difference when choosing a bra! Seems simple ...but there are so many different kinds of bras, and they are not all designed to do the same thing! Once you lock in the kind of boobies you have (besides healthy and natural! ;) then buying a bra that really works for your girls becomes a lot easier! I have also noticed that there are a lot more cute and sassy styles for the smaller boobed ladies now. I also notice that boob shape and type is so much different then just your band size and cup size. I wish I knew about this before I bought my first few bras post op because I would never had have purchased them now.
My breasts are still getting tighter. I do feel the skin biting and pinching. I feel the pectoral area the most. I assume this will be something I will have to deal with for some time as nerve regeneration can take a long time. No, I do not think I "fluffed" or "poofed" and I do not think I will gain any breast at all. I was an A cup before I got implants, I don't expect I will suddenly grow breasts on my own accord now. :D
What I do feel is the tissue inside my breast feels firmer and more boob-like to squish instead of just loose skin. That is what I notice most when I massage. My incisions are healing and fading but they still will get tender if my bra rubs on them. My nipples stick out more now, they are not totally concave or mashed in but they really do not have any internal tissue behind them to have them stick out on their own all the time unless I am cold. Again, I don't expect that will change because I cannot grow boob tissue at-will. ;)
I also find the skin in the area of my cleavage to look empty and squishy. I really don't have cleavage. It is just sort of loose empty skin that looks mushy if I squish it together. I certainly wouldn't wear a push-up or push together style bra because I just think the skin there is way too loose to create any pretty cleavage. I never liked showing off my cleavage when I had giant implants, so I end up the same after my explant, I still won't be showing off my cleavage! I don't expect this to change either. I reckon if it bothered me I could look into fat grafting because fat seems to be something I am very good at growing myself! LOL! :D
Things I miss about having implants:
1) nothing
:D
I am not done healing but it feels good to have 4 months under me post op. Since I had more aggressive explant surgery then some, (3 prior implant surgeries, all of them under the muscle) with a full en-bloc explant ...thought this update might help those that are facing longer healing times.
Wishing a wonderful new year to everyone!
xoxoxo
TK
:)

Wow, hard to believe it's been almost 2 months since my explant! I have to admit, my life has just taken off lately and I haven't been paying a lot of attention to my healing process because it's not the first thing I think about anymore.

Firstly, my health:
Wow and wow. I cannot express how good I feel. My energy levels are like night and day difference. I've been able to do things for hours at a time! Hiking, mall crawls, dinners out, long drives, going to the lake, singing, etc etc... I am able to do things that were beyond my reach when I was sick with my implants. Even my surgeon can see a major improvement! My hubby is so happy and excited to have his active wife back, in fact, he has been on a health kick because he is afraid I will leave him in my dust! LOL! :D

My breasts have started to feel more firm. Actual firm inside instead of just squishy and fleshy. When I squeeze them now they have a thicker firmness to them. Actual breast firmness that feels quite different then when I first explanted. All the edema is gone and now its just "all me". It feels lovely to hold my boobies. They are a handful of lovely.

I was measured for a bra. So here is the thing. The width of my breast is still a DD but I only have a B size to put in the cup. So, I actually got fitted for some lovely bras that are a DD cup in width but are able to have the straps tightened and lay flat. I do not have a giant gap, it is flat against my breast tissue but it is a DD underwire cup. It feels very supportive which I really like, it scoops up the tissue where it was before and gathers it where I feel i need the support. It also presses down on my cleavage area where the skin felt like it wasn't connected post explant. That tissue was so stretched out from my giant implants and my cleavage area felt like it wasn't right...but since wearing the bras, it has helped compress the areas where the skin felt separated and loose and I can feel and see a difference. My incisions are healing nicely, though I must admit, I can't even see them unless I raise my arms. My breasts look almost completely flat when I raise my arms but have a lovely little shape otherwise. I really don't care how my boobs look laying down or when I raise my arms. I am so pleased with my little boobies and how lovely they look and how HEALTHY I am feeling! It is like being given 2 gifts at once!

I use my Bio Oil everyday and take my supplements still. I do get some breast pain if I use my arms a lot but mostly I am comfortable. My right breast (pectoral) still can get sore if I do too much. I can sleep on both sides now and find I am sleeping so much better! I wear my underwire bras during the day and a snug sport top for bed. I don't really like the way my breasts feel without support right now, and the surgeon suggests wearing my underwire to help compress the loose skin. I can say I for sure can see the difference the great bras have made and find them comfortable, something I couldn't say when I had implants. I do not have bras that create a push up effect. They just support underneath and the sides and compress the middle/cleavage area. I don't like the way push-up bras feel and have no desire to try to make my boobs look bigger. On the contrary, I would like to make them tighter/smaller/firmer. The one thing I still have is blobby armpit skin. It has gone down considerably but it still feels blobby. I have a lot of redundant skin from having such large implants so it will take some time for all that skin to retract. Thus, I keep wearing my bras and keeping the skin compressed. I will post pics of the other bras I got later.

My nipples still look smushed-in most of the time unless I am cold or I pinch them. But they have total feeling and act like proper nipples should. I don't really care if they stick out or not as I can make them stick out if need be...though normally I don't find a daily need for perky nipples. ;)

My overall health is 80% better. I do not have the same neck and shoulder pain. I do not have the same lung problems. My bones and joints don't burn and hurt all the time, I can sleep better, do more, engage in activities that I couldn't before and have unlocked my fountain of youth by removing my implants. I truly feel so much better in every way. My hubby says I have my spirit back and sees how much happier and active I am. We both rejoice in my transformation...so much has changed so quickly!

I do not regret my explant in any way. I am delighted with my small boobies and my new found health. I rejoice in being me, all me... flaws and all. I think less and less about my boobs and focus more and more on just living. It feels like I've won the lottery...the life lottery. I am so glad to be here!

YAY Life!
:D

<3
TK
xoxox