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Starting stats: 5'7, 121 lbs. Pre-pregnancy...

Starting stats: 5'7, 121 lbs. Pre-pregnancy breasts 32E natural.

I always wore good-quality (i.e., Bali, Freya, etc.), full-coverage, underwire bras in my correct size, and wireless sleeping bras. In fact, the only time I didn't have on a bra was in the shower!

After the birth of my first child I breastfed for 4 months, and then my boobs deflated to droopy little pancakes. I allowed a full year post-partum before seeking BA surgery, in order to allow my skin to contract as much as it naturally would and to ensure that I had no milk left in my breasts. During that time I did extensive research into plastic surgeons in California, where I lived at the time.

After consulting with several other doctors, I contacted Dr. Pousti about an augmentation because his before and after pics and his patient reviews were excellent. Price was not a consideration in my selection process. The first time I went to his office in Temecula, I remember looking at the receptionist and marveling at how large her breasts were.(If you go on his website the woman in the cherry top is the receptionist to whom I am referring) I mean, they were so big I couldn't NOT look at them! My first thought when she told me he (Dr. Pousti) had done them was, "I hope he doesn't make mine that big!" I mentioned this during our consultation. I described my "before" figure and showed him pictures of my pre-baby breasts. Being a model, I had tons of photos that showed my body at every imaginable angle, so he was able to get a good idea of what I wanted to look like after my surgery. I was explicit in my desire to return to this same size and shape.

I am a fairly conservative person. I do not go around in cleavage tops and mini skirts. I don't even own a pair of shorts! I was raised by very religious/traditional parents who taught me to respect and value my body, and who instilled the "less is more" attitude in me. They helped me to understand that I am a beautiful woman and I do not need to show my assets to everyone in order to be validated.(This may sound strange, hearing that I'm a model, but I actually really enjoyed my work even though my Baptist family frowned on it. It was the "sexiest" I ever felt in my life!) My BA was not so I could go out and flaunt my boobs, it was to maintain my body shape for my personal fulfillment, and to continue in my career unhindered. In my line of work, major body changes can literally mean an end to a career. So either being deflated or appearing super-enhanced would be detrimental to me. It was important that I come out looking as natural as possible.

With all of that expressed and (I thought) understood, I was invited back to meet some patients who had undergone BA with Dr. Pousti. Meeting the women only served to make me feel more at ease and ready to proceed. Each woman expressed to me how the doctor really listened to them and gave them exactly what they were looking for in terms of outcome. Their breasts were lovely and soft, with little or no visible scars. I was excited to get the surgery underway and to return to my former womanly shape.

The doctor and I agreed that a 450-500cc silicone implant, moderate profile with no lift would be the best option for me. He told me this would return me to a DD-E more or less. He did warn me that my breasts might be a bit lower than before, but agreed that I didn't really need a lift to achieve a natural hang. A lift would only make my breasts look more "fake."

When I woke up from surgery I couldn't tell how large my breasts were, only that I was sore and groggy. However, over the next couple days I was alarmed at the size of my breasts. He reassured me, saying that the swelling would go down and I would be very happy once it did. Wrong. Once the swelling went down and I took off the bandages I could see how huge my breasts were. Remember the receptionist I mentioned earlier? Yeah... I was horrified. In a follow-up consultation he told me he had placed 750cc high profile implants in order to give me more projection and top fullness, two things I never wanted. He gave me a completely different set of breasts than we agreed on. Nothing about them looked natural. I looked like a cheap stripper! My bra size went up to a 30J!! Yes, a J. I had to get rid of all my dresses, tops and bras and purchase an entire new upper body wardrobe. Even a simple t-shirt didn't look right on me. No matter what I put on I looked like a prostitute. Layering became the only way I could hide my breasts, but layering made me look fat and dumpy, so there was no real win in it.

There was no way I could go about my normal life without admitting to a BA, to my agent and to my family. The reaction from my family was the worst. My two uncles are Baptist ministers and let me tell you they each had long, long phone calls with my dad that included lots of yelling and accusations about me, my lifestyle and my profession. To this day my dad does not speak with them because his position was, "She's my daughter, I love her and she's not going to hell over some plastic surgery." Whereas their position was, "Your daughter is a [RS bleep] and she's going to hell. She is no longer welcome at any family function because she will corrupt our children with her whorish ways." Seriously. I haven't been invited to a family function since, and no one from my extended family makes any effort to communicate with me. It's been 6 years.

As far as my career? I did manage to land a few more shoots, but retired within the year at the recommendation of my agent. Thank God I had a degree to fall back on and manged to get a good corporate position, because the sudden loss of my career was devastating to me and came at the worst possible time: immediately before the national financial collapse of 2008.

Needless to say, the choices made by Dr. Pousti without my consent and against my wishes regarding my BA have caused me considerable personal and financial loss, not to mention anguish and regret. The whole range of emotions I go through on a regular basis include anger, guilt, remorse, fear, anxiety and sadness. The only time I feel happy about my breasts is when my husband expresses the joy he takes in them. Oh yeah, he loves them! And it has taken him years to finally understand how much I hate them, and why.

A defining moment was when we were at a neighborhood restaurant with a friend of his. The friend was waiting on his girlfriend to arrive, and my husband went to the bathroom. As he was returning to our table he witnessed the girlfriend's arrival and her blatantly hostile greeting to me. She acted as if I were some hussy trying to hit on her man! Then my husband walked up and introduced me as his wife and she was visibly sorry and apologized immediately. But I go through that every day, without the benefit of an explanation or an apology. Women are hostile to me because of my chest; men leer at me even when I'm in a hoodie or sweatshirt. Wives give me the "don't come near" look when they are with their husbands. It's embarrassing and hurtful, humiliating even.

After years of shame and anger, I have finally convinced my husband that I need a reduction, and he finally agrees with me. The relief I feel knowing that I will be able to walk into any department store and buy a bra is huge. I will finally be able to buy clothes that fit my entire body, and that are not sized up to accommodate my breasts. I will be able to express myself through fashion without the fear of looking like a [RS bleep], giving the wrong impression or making myself/others feel uncomfortable.

It took me a long time to write this review, and I had to think about it a lot. Dr. Pousti is not a bad doctor. He did give me beautiful gigantic breasts. If that was what I wanted and what I asked for I would be very happy. But since what he did to my breasts was so far removed from what we had agreed upon in advance of surgery, and has cost me so much as a result, I cannot be grateful to him at all. After all, now I have to undergo another procedure to remove my implants and have them replaced with much smaller ones, and have a lift on top of that, because the skin has been so stretched by the giant implants he used that there is no way I can achieve a good-looking result without one.

Provider Review

Board Certified Plastic Surgeon
8851 Center Dr., La Mesa, California
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