Tattoo Removal and Revival

My decision to tattoo myself during what I realize now as a crisis, was well, the worst decision of my life. I was fixated on the familiar feeling of my tattoo experiences always making me feel stronger and even more confident in who I am. At this point in my adult life, for the first time, I was questioning my confidence and sense of self. For what reason? Plenty. But in retrospect- for absolutely no GOOD reason. I was so far in my own head that was not thinking clearly of logically at all. I just thought : tattoo- arm- cool- me- done. Well turns out I'm an idiot and no one around me wanted to me that either. My husband is pretty tattooed himself and I think just went along with it thinking it would make me happy. The consultations for the tattoo were short and not really detailed or specific. I gave the confident vibe and the "you're an artist, I trust you" vibe. I surrendered all control- for what reason?? No Idea. I had two separate tattoo ideas that I decided - uh yeah, they can just go next to each other. Stupid. Placement of my tattoos has always been my thing- I love exactly where all my tattoos were. This last idea I just shoved everything near other stuff. I essentially have 4 tattoos on one forearm. Im a compete fool. The tattoo artist and my husband both said it's going to look piece-y so do something to incorporate them altogether. I thought : I hate that idea. Then I stopped thinking. Next thought should have been- PUT IT SOMEWHERE ELSE YOU IDIOT. But nope. Let's just see how it looks.... after it's tattooed. Great choice. Well now that I'm a living zombie, living in long sleeves/ even to sleep- I usually were a tank top to bed- that has lost all sense of mind control, and who's husband is ready to lose it on me over the self pity... here I am. I cannot talk to him about it anymore, he understands why I feel this way Bc of the lack of planning and thought I put into the whole process....but he's over it. We have kids and are moving at the moment! No time for tattoo tears. Sigh. He's right and I'm right. I can't help how I feel - and this will ruin my life I don't put and end to it. Ever since I decided in my mind that I'm getting it removed - there has been a sense of peace. That was after suffering from anxiety every moment since I woke up the day after my tattoo- and surviving an 8 hour long panic attack through the night, alone. The next day I feel like it drained me of all energy and I surrendered to my only choice. Beat it or be beaten. My kids are my life and I'm failing as a person, let alone mother- acting this way. I need to work on regaining my personal strength, mind power, and my energy. I always have had such good vibes and now I feel this negative aura surrounding me like a dark shadow. I have work to do. It's not going to happen by wishing it away. Start the removal and revival!!
Also- this site is a god sent. I never knew tattoo regret was even a thing until it happened to me. We are all here for each other on this site and it rocks. We cannot let these feelings take over our lives/ that would be the real tragedy, not our tragic tattoos!