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One of my tattoos

So this is one of the two tattoos I want removed. As you can see, it is quite big. I keep thinking about other people and what they might think, that's why I haven't told people around me that I want it removed. My boyfriend and two very good friends know.... I look very much forward to monday for the first treatment. The bottom half will be done first and two weeks later the upper part. As the laser specialist said 'It's gonna take time, but it will be worth it in the end.' So I'm keeping my head up and try to live my life the fullest and only look at this as a small period of time in my whole life... and I will try to not let these tattoos get to me. 3 years in tattoo removal stage vs 60+ of living life tattoo free after.

Hi everyone! I'm new to this site, so I really...

Hi everyone!

I'm new to this site, so I really just want to talk with some people, who are in the same boat as me.
It all started with me just having the outlines of two large tattoos on my thighs, and I quite liked them that way. They were big, but they were simple. I have never been a tattoo girl, but I was young, and I wanted to stand out so I had them done. Everywhere I went; in school and at work, people would always tell my that they would never have expected me to be "that type", but I didn't care that much, I liked them.
3 months ago I decided to have something redone on one of them and I chose a skilled tattoo shop here in my country. The tattoo artist thought they were really cool and asked if I had considered putting some shadow in them as they would seem more complete with some filling in them. First I wasn't sure, but he assured me they would look soo much cooler, so I thought "Why not?". Big mistake. After 5 hours I went home and I got really sad; what had I done? I didn't want them filled out, I just wanted the small thing fixed and now I had two VERY large tattoos - they were large from the beginning, but it suddenly became even clearer now they were filled out.
I cried. I'm not gonna lie. I thought about how dissapointed my parents would be. My mom knew I had the roses on my right thigh done when they were only lines and she was really dissapointed, so I never told her about the other one and now I had two very large, very dark tattoos - one on each thigh. It's stupid because I'm 24 years old and I live in another city 2 hours away from my parents and frankly I'm old enough to make my own decisions...well...at least I thought....
I now keep thinking about the tattoos, and I get kind of sad everytime I take my pants off and gets confronted with them.
4 weeks ago I decided to consult another artist to see if she could add some white ink in one of the tattoos to make it seem lighter. BIG mistake again. I didn't want to go back to the first one, because I was afraid to confront him, so I went on to a new one. They were very nice in the new place and told me they could easily fix it. When I got there 1 week later for my appointment, there was a dog in the tattoo shop. I thought it was really weird having an animal a place that was supposed to be steril, but I sat down and let them tattoo me anyways. I wish I would have taken that as a red flag and just walked away, but I didn't. The white didn't help at all and it was quite expensive... I think our expectations didn't match, because I couldn't see much of a difference and the artist told me that "obviously you can't put white ink on black ink", so she was only able to put small parts of white ink on my skin that wasn't already tattood. I got home even more sad than before. I'm totally aware that this is my own fault, I don't blame any of the tattoo artist for doing their jobs. I take full responsibility and only wish that I would have thought it through before rushing in to anything.
So now I have decided to get laser treatment.
It's gonna be a loooong, very expensive journey, but I can't live the rest of my life in long pants or feeling sad about my thighs everytime I see them. Fortunately my tattoos are not in colours, the bad thing is I got the white ink added, but the specialist told me he would try to avoid it. Beacuse my tattoos are sooo large, the treatments have to be separated . First I'm gonna have the bottom part of both tattoos lasered and two weeks later i'll get the top part.
I will let you follow me on this journey to hopefully.....in a 3 years or so....no tattoos at all.
I will post pictures when I feel I'm ready, but right now I think it is a bit too soon.

I hope you understand and thanks for reading my story.

I'll keep you updated, my first laser appointment is in one week from now.

P.S. I'm sorry about my english. :)