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16 Months

So I haven’t written up any updates lately because there haven’t been many changes since my 1 year mark. I’m still dealing with the same issues but finding ways to manage them as efficiently as possible. I just wanted to let the people who are getting sick from these toxic injections know that there are still people here to talk to. I’m absolutely flabbergasted at how many people have contacted me to tell me they are extremely sick after getting Botox or Dysport. People need to know that when we say ‘sick’ we actually mean life-altering. Lives, families, relationships, careers are being turned upside down and I cannot believe this is still happening. There are people on here who will try to convince you that these injections are safe because they themselves haven’t had any reactions to it, but allow me to remind you that I had Botox injections 3 times with no side effects, and the 4th time, 16 months ago, has completely destroyed my life in ways I can’t even explain on this forum. Asking doctors will not help, they will deny that Botox can cause you any serious harm, but I promise you it can. And the more we spread the word the safer the people we love, need and rely on will be, and the less these doctors will make money off of our illnesses. If you’ve come across this review it’s because you’re probably searching for accurate information about the potential risks these injections pose to your health. Please don’t ignore this sign. If you have questions about my experience please ask me about it before you decide to go ahead with it and I can tell you what the true risks are and how badly my life has been affected. Ignore the trolls who don’t give a [RS bleep] about you or your health or your loved ones, and read the COUNTLESS true stories on this site about the horror experiences people are suffering. I hope anyone who is suffering from Botox poisoning knows they are not alone. I’m here and I’ll continue to spread the word even after I’m healed (if I ever do heal).

One Year...

Exactly one year ago today I made the biggest mistake of my life, and boy have I payed for that mistake! Even though I feared that I would be one of those people who was stuck with this illness for a long time I never actually thought I’d still be sick after one whole year. Unfortunately I am and it’s only fair that I do what I can to make others aware of the dangers of Botox and Dysport (or any other similar injectables).
It has been the most horrendous, life changing, soul crushing experience, and unless you’ve gone through this yourself it’s easy to say “this won’t happen to me”.
I was one of those people. I didn’t know there were these kinds of risks with Botox but I was one of those people who thought that something as life changing as this could never happen to someone like me, but it DID. And it destroyed so much in my life along the path throughout the time frame of one year. I lost my ability to continue to work through most of this experience. Because of how sick, tired and depressed I have been a lot of my close relationships have drifted. There were times when I just wanted to hide under my covers for days, not answer calls or communicate with other human beings. I developed agoraphobia over the year. I’ve had times where I was so afraid to leave the house (or let anyone into my house) because I didn’t know how anyone could help me if some symptoms surfaced while I was in public. But I did push myself and continue to do so, and thankfully I haven’t had any major panic attacks since the first couple of months, although I do feel a lot of the time as though I am on the ‘verge’ of a panic attack, which can be equally exhausting.
The vibrancy in my personality has completely dulled. Quite frankly I don’t really recognise myself. I used to be full of life and enjoy conversation, enjoy listening, enjoy learning, whereas now I cannot keep track of what someone is explaining to me, I don’t have the patience to even listen most of the time because of how frustrating it gets for me. I don’t enjoy or look forward to new experiences, I just want to be left alone at home and ‘get through’ the day so I can reach sleeping time which is my only peace. I feel so badly for the others on here who’s sleep has been greatly affected by the Botox. I’m lucky in that I haven’t had many issues in regards to sleep for the majority of the year.
My body has changed, I used to be active, not overly fit but I was always out and about and enjoyed my long walks. Nowadays I feels aches and pains in places I had never had any issues with before I had Dysport. Heart, kidneys, stomach, shoulder muscles, pelvic area, joints and random muscles, eye issues, ringing ears, breathing issues (especially in warm weather) etc. Aches and pains seem to ‘come and go’ at random times and for no apparent reason at all. So I’ve learned to ignore most of them because every time I get tested the tests come out ‘normal’.
I look sick and tired, my body is weak, my appetite is weird, I still have a lot of hair falling out, anxiety is ever present... honestly I can’t keep up with the things that improve and the things that don’t.
The brain fog is still most debilitating, and if I could choose one symptom to get rid of and keep the rest it would definitely be the brain fog. My brain just feels so tired and wrapped in cotton. I can’t focus, can’t think straight, can’t remember things, can’t put two and two together for the most part. I feel like I have permanent brain damage to be honest, and I’m sure that’s what it is. Then the physical fatigue is a close 2nd. It’s a kind of tired that I can’t even explain, but I’m grateful that I have the ability to do more than I could in the first few months. I still tire quickly but I can run errands now and do what I have to do (albeit drop dead when I get back home).
I’ve tried two naturopaths, both who I feel have been optimistic and helpful to some degree, so I’ve tried numerous natural supplements over the year. I’ve also tried many things that others on this website have suggested to me. I’ve tried numerous immune system supplements, I’ve tried bentonite clay, I’ve tried tumeric, I’ve tried Epsom salt foot baths, baking soda foot baths, organic apple cider vinegar, castor oil packs, amino acids, activated charcoal, antiviral supplements, getting more sun, getting more sleep, drinking chemical free water, cutting out chicken (hormones), cutting down on meat in general, cutting out milk (estrogen) among other things. I’ve researched and researched and tested and tried so many things, and there’s just no magic bullet to make this all go away. ‘Time’ seems to be the common denominator in all the stories, and even time doesn’t guarantee I’ll ever be completely normal and healthy again.
The physical challenges I have faced since the day I had the 30 units of Dysport injected into my forehead is nothing compared to the mental anguish I’ve gone through, and at times it feels like I’m all alone in the middle of the ocean not knowing if I’ll sink or swim. But I’m so eternally grateful that I’ve had the support of a great partner and the support and optimism of some beautiful human beings on this site, namely Jess who has been my biggest source of strength and comfort and knowledge for many months now, who gives me hope that I can reach a level of recovery at some point just like she did. Hotmami and Bluejay who never lose faith and even through their current suffering still somehow manage to stay positive. I WISH I was as resilient as any of you beautiful people. We only have each other to talk to and understand one another and we are our only support system in this fight.
Also so many people who have messaged me privately and commented on my review with their own stories of suffering or even just a word of support or a suggestion or even a link to a song that might give me hope, being in this shitty and LONELY situation, you’ll never know how much your kind words of encouragement have done for me on really dark days.
There are people who are sceptical also, and that’s fair enough, my review and updates are there for people who want to listen and who want to be aware of what might happen and who value their health enough to consider that they may be next in the firing line. I’m not here to force anyone into believing anything, I’m here rather to be a source of knowledge to some degree. You don’t have to like it and you don’t have to agree with it but my experience and that of hundreds of others IS REAL.
All in all my symptoms have improved since month 1, but I still have a long way to go, I’m one of the ‘very’ unlucky ones who’s being taught a massive lesson it seems.
Guys PLEASE reconsider getting these injections, read over other people’s stories/comments on my review and on this site and you’ll see that there are a ridiculous amount of people being affected by this! Don’t believe the media, don’t believe it won’t happen to you. Value your health, protect your body, don’t harm it. It works very hard every day to keep you alive and healthy, be kind to it and realise that a few wrinkles isn’t worth a few years of suffering. I would give my right arm to go back to that day a year ago and run SO FAR and SO FAST the other way and not have this happen to my life. The consequences have been enormous and the domino effect it has had is something I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to repair. It makes me cry almost every day the REGRET that I feel and I wish I knew there was such a great risk involved. Most of my symptoms WEREN’T on the form they made me sign.
At this point I only have two options; 1. Being happy I’ve reached the 1 year mark because things are ‘supposed’ to get better from here, or 2. Feel like [RS bleep] about reaching the 1 year mark because if it has lasted this long who’s to say it won’t go on for another year or two? At this point I am leaning towards the latter but only ‘time’ is going to give me the damn answer I need :(

10 months

Feeling so bad today, brain fog is 11/10, just feel really fatigued and zoned out, I can’t even explain it properly, can’t think straight or see straight. This has become a bloody joke! 10 months and I’m still able to feel so bad! Thinking of that ***** that injected me going about her life like everything is normal when my life has completely been destroyed makes me FURIOUS!!! Thinking that 30 units could absolutely destroy a life, I can’t believe the impact this has had on my life. I am losing any hope that I’ll ever live a normal life again, I just can’t see it right now... not sure what I’m supposed to do now? Very trapped and confused, this is no way to live