Beginning Journey - Staten Island, NY

I've been overweight since I hit puberty 13yrs ago. I've known I needed to address my weight and have taken part in multiple weight loss endeavors including dieting, "cleansing" (such as Herbalife and Isagenix), I have taken medication my doctor has prescribed me for weightloss on 4 seperate occasions. I've paid for personal trainers, I've also tried classes and gym memberships and I am currently at my highest weight. I keep saying eventually something's going to work... But more and more I'm reminded of my mortality and it's getting scary. This last March, the day before his 45th birthday my dad had a massive heart attack. I have a family history of health issues related to obesity, my mother, grandmother and two of my great aunts have needed to have bariatric surgery. My father and grandmother are type 2 diabetic. Everyone in my family suffers from high blood pressure and sleep apnea including myself. Most recently after an abnormal pap, and then a colposcopy it was found that I had pre-cancerous cells on my endo-cervix. When I asked my Doctor, she informed me that the strain of HPV I had would absolutely become cancer if I didn't take better care of myself. So here I am beginning my journey to obtain the gastric sleeve. I found a surgeon on Staten Island, Dr. Ferzli, who was covered by my insurance and had apparently performed one of my great aunt's lap band surgery. I've been trying to keep the fact that I was considering it and the fact that I am now planning to go through it, "hush, hush" I know there's nothing to be ashamed of, and that I'm trying to improve my situation, but this is literally only the 2nd thing in my life, I have ever wanted to keep a secret, any other time I am a completely open book. It's been really hard not being able to talk to everyone about this... I tried writing a blog on WordPress, but I feel like, even though it would give me an anonymous platform, I didn't feel comfortable sharing there. I'm technically just at the very beginning of pursuing the surgery, I made the decision that I would absolutely do it about a week ago after discussing with my parents and my partner. I was anticipating being surgery ready and having all my clearances around June/July. Since I am planning for my insurance to cover the procedure, and the require my being followed by a Doctor for 6 months. Today, I realized that I had seen my gyno every month for the past 5 months, and contacted my surgeons office to ask them if those weigh ins would count, they informed me that as long as obesity was on my chart, that should be sufficient. So, now I am scrambling to get my clearances, and I'm excited, I'm definitely relieved that I want have to spend the majority of the warm weather miserable. However, the stress of needing to now scramble to have this performed sooner, is alot. I've made appointments with the surgeon, primary care physician and cardiologist. I still need to schedule with my pulmonologist and gatrointerologist. Is anyone else starting this "journey"? Where are you in it? How are you feeling? Etc. Etc.

I saw my gyno last week and she told me that my appointments did not count, but the fact that I have proof that I've been working to lose weight for YEARS. Should be enough. I contacted my insurance company to ask them if this was true, and was told that if I have proof of all the attempts I've made, that it should be proof enough. I've done about 6 months of adipex, 2 months of contrave, 2 months of phentermine, 3 months of weight watchers, 2 months of Isagenix and a month of Herbalife. Then proof that I was logging calories and fitness too. Tomorrow I will be seeing my pulmonologist and I've anxious as to how it will go. I am afraid that in the process of obtaining clearances I will find out that there is a million other things going wrong in my body. I have a history of sleep apnea, I'm hoping I won't need a sleep study because the situation should of been addressed when my tonsils, adnoids and uvula were removed. I'm afraid that if I do need another one, it will be extremely difficult to schedule and will hyper extend the process. Now that I'm working on this, my weight is bothering me more and more... I'm realizing different things like, now I always have a double chin, and Im too large to fit in my tub and submerge myself, I have new fat rolls in new places, my clothes are ripping and not fitting well etc. I also feel like my eating habits have suddenly gotten so much worse. Like, I'm spiraling out of control with my eating habits now that I know the surgery is an option, or maybe I'm just mourning my freedom to eat? I'm not even sure anymore. I'm also noticing my partner's size more. He's gained alot of weight since we've been together, and it doesn't bother me, but I am noticing it. I'm hoping that some of this will be addressed in support group which I'm going to start attending on Tuesday, January 10th as part of the approval process (according to the surgeon). I think I'm also super nervous that I won't be cleared as soon as I would like to be.

So, as stated, today I had to see my Pulmonologist in attempts to obtain clearance. I was really nervous that it would be difficult to obtain clearance, but it doesn't appear it will be this time. I was anticipating that I would require a sleep study because I've had Sleep Apnea previously but my Pulmonologist felt that it was not necessary. I was able to ask for my labs to be ordered and to schedule my pulmonary functions test for next week Tuesday. I knew there would be a lot of copays to pay, but I had no idea the extent. My copayment for all Doctors including specialists is $20, so in the next two weeks alone I can anticipate $80 in copays. My Pulmonologist made it a point to tell me that I made a good choice in the surgeon I chose, and that he doesn't see me having any issues getting approved to have the surgery performed, he even said "you'll be skinny in no time". On another note, I was placed back on blood pressure medication after several years of not needing it, and that's pretty upsetting, I have also officially made it to 250lbs, at 22 and only standing 5ft 1. I am hoping that obtaining the clearances and approval will indeed be very quick, and I can be in surgery by March or April. We shall see what the future holds.