Sono Bello Ab Ex Lower Smart Lipo. Major surgery anxiety

Well another sleepless night . I tend to do that to myself every time I think of surgery. I been on this journey for 5 years already. Backing out of every opportunity. So far sono bello caught my attention because your awake. What's starting to scare me is this painful crazy teeth clenching experience with the smart lipo. I'm 35 3 c sections weigh 153 and I'm 5'1. I like my weight. I just have a mommy apron that won't go away. I had my consultation and got approved for care credit. But for only 7000 I have 3500 to come up with. And that's closer n I've ever been to my goal. But I suffer from major surgery anxiety. I saw a review I had on here 2019 about my mini tuck and never went through with it. Here it's 2022 and I'm back. I cry and start feeling guilty like I'm a mom and great career and husband who loves my body why am I putting myself through this. But it's something I've been longing for since I realized I won't get rid of this apron. I plan to force myself through it in March but I tell you I'll have a major break down there and the night before. I'm that terrified. Hearing the stories of how awful the lipo is scares me. Well night till I have another sleepless night.