I've Been Wanting Breasts My Whole Life.. Now's the Time! 32, 5'6'', 127lbs, 371cc Silicone Mod & Areola Reduction - Seattle, WA

I am 5'6'', 127 lbs and currently a 34A and sometimes a small 34B. I've grown up watching all of my girlfriends develop beautiful breasts and have been waiting and waiting... AND waiting... for mine to come in. My mom wanted me to focus on who I was as a person instead of just outer beauty. She would tell me to be patient, mine will just develop later than my friends and if they don't, it won't matter because someday a man will love me for just me and the breasts won't make a difference. She was definitely right about the husband part but not so much about them ever developing.
I'm 32 now and was lucky enough to marry a wonderful man who does love me just for me. Unfortunately, even with his love and assurances, I've never gotten over my own feelings of being disappointed, embarrassed and uncomfortable when I take off my padded bras even when I'm by myself. Trying to look great in a low cut top or bathing suit.. forget it! There's just not enough there no matter how much padding I shove in there. Argh!
My husband loves seeing me in beautiful lingerie but I tend to try and avoid wearing it because I can't stand the way my breasts don't even come close to filling them out and I feel like I look terrible in the outfits. I look at myself in the mirror and feel ashamed and want to cry so I put on something like a tank top and end up feeling guilty because I truly want to feel sexy in the lingerie. My poor husband then has to deal with emotional, insecure me. poor guy. *sigh*
He and I have discussed the idea of me getting breast implants every now and then over the past few years and at first I felt even more ashamed at the idea because I felt like I had somehow failed as a woman to grow boobs. Silly, I know, but no one ever said emotions were logical! I was also so worried about what others would say/think about me for doing so.
Lately, must be something about being in my 30s, I've changed the way I feel about myself and others opinions. Frankly, I don't really care what others think anymore about my choices. Ha! It's an amazing feeling actually. I love who I am as a person and want to feel the same way about my body. I'm starting to realize that this is a personal choice and something that will help ME truly feel good about MY body for once. The thought of that makes me so excited!
I'm so glad I came across this site. Even with this new found confidence, I don't know if I'd ever have gotten the courage to do a BA without this site. All of the brave, lovely ladies who have shared their stories and photos have made it seem truly realistic to have beautiful breasts without ending up looking like a [RS bleep] star! (no offense to any who are, that's just not me!) It's also so reassuring to read how you all feel and know that I'm not alone with the different ranges of emotions.
I've just set up two consultations with doctors in the area (YAY!!); Dr Mary Lee Peters and Dr Salemy. They both have great reviews and photos that I like the looks of. Dr Salemy is currently my preferred doctor based on his before/after photos but we'll see over the next couple of weeks what I end up deciding. If anyone has experiences with either of these doctors or others and would like to share, I'd love to hear from you.
After reading other's reviews, I've learned not to focus so much on the cup size but ideally I would like to land in the full C category. Based on other's results, I believe that will put me somewhere in the 300 CCs. Will know more after my consultations.
I'm also trying to figure out if I want to go with Saline or Silicone. My fears of cancer and other complications with Silicone (needing MRIs to find a rupture, etc) have me leaning towards Saline but I've seen how most people have gone with Silicone now that it's back on the market. I don't fully understand the reasons behind it as I've seen gorgeous photos of both kinds and can't tell the difference from the photos. Is the biggest difference the way they feel? Has anyone else planned on getting Saline due to health reasons and then switched to Silicone? What helped you feel comfortable with that decision? Are you glad now? I'd be grateful for any advice on this part as it's the area that has me the most confused.
Excited to be going through this with the support of all of you lovely ladies. I never in a BAZILLION years thought I'd be posting pictures of my boobs online but I know how much it helped me so I'm going to be brave (deep breath... I can do it!) for all of you as well. eek! I can't wait until I can add some pretty post BA photos to this as well!