9 weeks PO, still not flat :(

I am 40 yrs old, have 2 young boys, ages 4 and 1 and am ready (I think) to reclaim by body. I am 5'3'' and currently weigh 132lbs...I would like to reach 125 by my surgery date. I had kids later in life (at 36 and 39) and while my tummy did bounce back after my first son, it did not after my second baby even though I gained less weight. I did 3 consultations with board certified plastic surgeons and was told I have severe diastasis and a possible hernia. This explains why I look 5 months pregnant. :(

This site is awesome and I am so glad I found it. I have the same mixed emotions as many...guilt over the decision...is this selfish when I have two young children? If I died they would be without their mother. Should I just accept my body and not take the risks? Even if I don't die from the surgery or a blood clot, I could be left disappointed if results are not what I had hoped for or even possibly disfigured if something goes wrong...all this already keeps me up at night.

Even the process of selecting a doc was not easy as they were all nice, qualified, priced within a few hundred dollars of each other, etc, etc. I am very happy with the doc I selected but you never know until it is done.

Usually I am a very confident person but I can not believe how much this whole thing has me second guessing everything...did I pick the right doc, should I wait until the kids are older, should I not do it at all????

I love reading the stories on here and gaining great advice..things I had never heard of like pineapple juice for healing, etc. I look forward to reading up on the experiences of others (and trying not to freak out over the few stories when some did not think it was worth it). Good luck to all. I will post pics later...

I feel great about the PS that I selected. She just called me herself to answer a few additional questions. I had left a message with 2 final questions with her assistant and explained that I did NOT need the doc to call me back, just wanted her to ask for me and call me back whenever, as they were just general questions. Instead the doc called back to answer the questions explaining that she would prefer to answer herself rather than have a third party trying to relay answers. Wow, great service and I am still 3 months out. I had an initial consultation with her. Then saw her one more time before making my final decision and then spoke with her today. I am very impressed with her hands on approach and from all the reviews I have read about her (on other sites as well) she offers the same approach after the surgery.

I feel great about my choice and think I now need to stay away from some internet info. I have already researched to a great extent and now it is time to focus on positive stories. It is so easy to get freaked out by one or two bad stories/outcomes.

Hopefully my PS doesn't think I am a freak with all the questions I have had!! :)

Can someone with small children please clarify when you were allowed to pick up for 1 yr old for things like diaper changes, putting him in and out of crib..just mild lifting. I thought it was 4-6 weeks but I just read another post and she said her doc said not to carry her one yr old for 3 months...what????
Please, someone who has been through this help me...if this is true perhaps I need to wait for this surgery.